‘‘Ah, Lan Zhan ! Xue Yang !’‘ && there it was, Wei Ying was up and about again. Making sure to lift the drawing carefully so he wouldn’t ruin it while making his way over to the bed. ‘‘ Take a look. ‘‘ he was excited to show them, despite just as much craving their touch. He’d already made up his mind that he wanted to get in between them. But first things first. ‘‘ What do you think? ’‘

     - from this meme​

   it isn’t a shout, precisely -- lan zhan does not shout. and yet it seems to ring around the cave anyway, those four words, that declaration, snapped into the air with no patience left.

    it shuts wei wuxian up.

    the argument -- just more of the same. always more of the same, except wei wuxian can’t...he can’t, anymore, can’t dodge and smile and twist his way out of lan zhan’s questions, his misplaced concern. wei wuxian is tired, worn thin, slowly decaying in this place that has been eating him out from the inside since he first fell. it’s hard enough to keep a good face up for the wens, to duck wen qing’s severe, worried gaze, to smile for a-yuan. it’s as much energy as he has, doing that, keeping them safe, from both the outside world and from the things inside him. he can’t -- he can’t have lan zhan here too, pressing at his sore points, reminding wei wuxian of all the things he can’t have.

    and so: their dance. lan zhan reaching out, wei wuxian pulling away. it’s just a scratch. a scratch that will take too long to heal and hurt and hurt, but that doesn’t matter. lan zhan can’t help, lan zhan can’t get too close. it’s all that wei wuxian can keep straight in his head, some times: just don’t let them too close. lan zhan asking to help. wei wuxian pretending he doesn’t need it. asking why, why, why are you here, why did you come, why won’t you just stop, why do you care what happens to me, lan zhan, why does it matter--

    and then. this. and wei wuxian was dizzy already, drained from his exertions, keeping the resentful energy at bay, locking it away, siphoning it up inside him and holding it there where it can’t hurt anyone but him. he is dizzy and for a second he thinks he hasn’t heard right. that he has, maybe, hallucinated the last ten seconds of his life. maybe more. you can never be quite sure.

    he laughs.

    a short, sharp, disbelieving thing, born from incomprehension. that doesn’t -- lan zhan doesn’t -- is he joking? is this how lans joke?

    he laughs because he might cry, otherwise. but lan zhan’s face doesn’t change, and the laughter peters out, and wei wuxian is standing there empty and confused. there is a hole in his chest and it aches and aches. lan zhan has reached inside him and scraped something out, and he doesn’t -- doesn’t know what to --

hunger .   give  my  muse  something  to  eat  /  drink . (For Papa Lan pls and thank you ;A; whatever age)

hunger .   give  my  muse  something  to  eat  /  drink . 

Some would say that in another universe he was a deadbeat dad riddled in his guilt to face his sect and his sons, but that was another him problem. The him now paraded around with his sons at his sides beaming proud papa aura. Although he had moments that his guilt towards the way his family began was overwhelming and he forced himself to work for hours at end to drown the angry emotions within him. 

Today was like other days where he thought too much and in returned pushed those around him further away, until a pair of hands tugged on his sleeves and it jolted him away from the pile of paperwork he was crafty ignoring. 

@ofwindsweptpines​ stated  it’s good that you have friends that you can lean against

He was surprised by the sentiment to say the least and he quickly dipped his head to Hanguang-Jun in return he didn't know quiet where to look. It was odd to have someone not legal required to care for you taking interest in your well being and Jin Ling was still coming to grips on that. He had friends now and that was something he had lacked before. Still it was daunting the tasks ahead of him. He knew that there was going to be times when he didn't know the proper answer or he said the wrong thing. Jingyi had a big mouth and Jin Ling had a big mouth and a temper, so there was that inner part of the young Jin that was sure he would say the wrong thing and everyone would decide he was to screwed up to be friends with.

"It is." he agreed as he peeked up through the full bangs that fell in his face to look at the luminous man. "I just---I have made so many mistakes already." he offered stoic in his stance he still held the ridged, regal bearing that echoed his father. Though there was a softness to his feature and the way he spoke that was very much his mother. He'd inherited her heart, her smaller frame and stature and the bullies never let him forget that either. "One day I will say the wrong thing and they will likely realize that they made a mistake being anywhere near me." he knew how it sounded. He was down on himself but he was trying to be honest about it. “I am not good with people.” he admitted aloud.

"Every since the Temple.." he voice broke and his eyes stung. "I have not been able to sleep properly. Sizhui sends me a tea that helps me sleep he's support its like he's made of it or for it. Jingyi has been...well...Jingyi but you know that's kinda reassuring too. Zizhen is close enough to visit regularly and he does check in on me..but...I am afraid I will loose them" he lowered his gaze back to his shoes at the hem of the expensively embroidered robe.Scoffed at himself it sounded pathetic to his own ears. "Can I ask you...how you do it ?" he spoke as though asking for some hidden secret or Sect technique. "How do you lead and make others want to follow you ?" 

Much like the second jade he had a problem with people, being touched by them. Having them in his personal space and really just having to be around them. He had never wanted to be like that. However, he saw the struggles in it and he wondered if Hanguang-Jun had the same issue. Jin Ling did not have the grace and noble air that the Lan Sect seemed to have in spades.

Well this was. Uncomfortable.

Feng Wu didn’t know what to do or say, the silence gave room for over analysis. For her brain to start working out a hundred ways this situation could go. A hundred ways for it to backfire. A hundred different exits to get out. Soon enough, it was paralysing. What was she meant to do? Was she meant to simply sit here in silence and wait for him to bring up the elephant in the room, or was it her job to do that?

Protocol messed things up. It was too deep and confusing for her, she tried her best but it was overwhelming at times, in the little house on the edge of the border, none of this had mattered. Demoted from princess to commoner, memory gone, none of it mattered. All that had, was survival. Make money. Feed the family. Keep the wind and rain off them. Here none of that mattered, despite the cold life was comfortable - she wondered if they realised how comfortable?

“Hanguang-jun.”

Footsteps light, he’s quick to catch up, to offer a small salute. “I have something for you to give to Wei-gongzi.” In the months since he’s become interim sect leader, he still hasn’t been able to face his once-idol directly. How can he, knowing that he tried to sacrifice himself so that Wei-gongzi could live and breathe again?

Multimuse Mun Memes

WEIRD HEADCANONS are actually super hard to think of if they don’t pop into your head at 4:17 am. I guess some of those aren’t weird as much as they’re just random~

Wen Ning: 100% influenced by two (!) separate fanfics I read in which Wen Ning used to help with the laundry in Qishan for some reason (lol), in particular he fixed up holes and torn robes (---essentially someone just shoved clothes into his hands and he was too polite to point out that he’s not a servant and this isn’t his job), and ended up stitching little embroidery animals into people’s sleeves. But didn’t tell them about it. So Wen Zhuliu randomly discovered a little bunny head on the inside of his sleeve at some point and had no clue where it came from. Golden headcanon.

Nie Mingjue: Mingjue tried growing more of a beard once, around the chin as well, but after Huaisang pointed out that he looked like their father he shaved it.

Jiang Cheng: Cheng is equal parts grumpy and content when his food turns cold because he can’t get to eating it right away, because one the one hand he would have preferred hot food, on the other hand it gives him an odd sense of achievement that he was so busy and productive that he couldn’t even get to lunch/dinner in time before it turned cold.

Wen Ruohan: Ironically the Sun Lord can’t stay in the sun for too long because he’s got a bit of an allergy. So he always wears long sleeves/robes, even if it’s really warm outside.

Lan Xichen: Xichen has a habit of making tea and forgetting all about it, so he almost always drinks cold tea.

Nie Huaisang: Huaisang enjoys the idea of a wing kink.

Xiao Qing: While the picture of grace and elegance at any given moment during the day, Xiao Qing loses that completely when she falls asleep. She makes blanket burritos, hangs half off the bed, and snores.

Wei Wuxian: Wei Wuxian can lick his elbow. You know, if anyone can it’s WWX.

Song Lan: Song Lan is a messy eater, that’s the real reason why he prefers wearing dark clothes.