#oftargaryens

Despite having his fill of women and banter, the image of Nesta still held heavy on his heart. After standing, Edwyn’s feet felt swollen against the leather of his boots. His thoughts were preoccupied though, with the recollections of their time together clouding his brain. He was supposed to be alert and at attention at all times, particularly around the royal family. He still had not found any connection with them outside of his fellow Kingsguard. A strong hand tensed into a fist before he released it. Blue eyes focused deeply on the motion, forgetting himself. Forgetting his surroundings, becoming too wrapped up in her.

━━━━━━━━━   ACCEPTED !

━━━━━━━━━   ACCEPTED !

BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE: ACCEPTING!!

         SEND ME ⊙ AND MY MUSE WILL BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOURS ⇆   accepting !

TO HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, PRINCESS ALYSSANDRA OF HOUSE TARGARYEN, @oftargaryens​

         apologies on taking long months to write you back and, possibly, worrying you even more about my well-being, your highness. i’ve been reading each of your letters again, and again, and have been trying to find the words to write and comfort you, as i know my family and i are not the only ones suffering. perhaps i’ve been reading them all too much and for too long, as whenever i had my quill to finally write you, another letter would soon arrive.

         it is not fair to you, to be the one sending so many thoughts and receive none in return, so i suppose it is time to write about it, to get things out of my chest to you much like i did to my sister, and to my other siblings. i hope you know that this is also how i feel about you—you are part of the family, i suppose you would be officially part of it if it depended on karl.

         i do not wish, however, to go through the details. firstly, because they might be painful for both of us, but also due the fact i, myself, seem to be incapable of remembering everything. it is like a blank in my mind, making it impossible for me to understand how it has happened, though you’ve probably heard it was an accident. people say it was, supposedly, expected. the shipbreaker bay is known for that, after all. but, still, it seems like all of this is either a nightmare or a very bad joke.

        out of the things i do remember, however, is how happy karl was, both with the sailing and with the last letter he had received from you. he had plans, many of them, and you were included in all of them. i suppose you know this by now, but he’s loved you more than anything and was preparing to ask our father for assistance, to get an arrangement between you. it is an unfortunate, for all of us. i can not imagine your pain right now, and i have to apologize for it—i keep wondering why was i the one to survive, when i am the one with no plans, no lover, and am far from being as bold as karl. he was the heir, he was far more prepared for what’s to come, and with him gone… nothing makes any sense, does it?

         what you had with him is something people can only dream of, and i feel deeply sorry, knowing as much as i do. not many on our family knew of the involvement between you, though karl was not the greatest at hiding feelings, especially when he got your letters or was off to see you.

         i’m unsure of how and what to do right now, though i can see there aren’t many options. father has been trying to make sure i am stable enough and making me follow him around, as i am, now, in karl’s position. there isn’t easier way to go through this, it seems, to feel less nostalgic about how things were and were supposed to be. i can only hope the thought of him will give me strength—this is what he would’ve wanted, father says.

         i can only hope these words can comfort you, though they do little to me. he would’ve wanted us to be ok, he would’ve wanted you to be happy, as you well deserve to be, lyssa. do write me more, i promise i will not make you wait longer no more and i wish to know how you’ve been.

         best wishes,