#ofseashellss

Vesper: my father has requested that you join us for dinner

I do suppose that is v true. Maybe I will steal the foods before I leave the house so we can eat things that are not leaves or poop paw berries. I am sleep tho bc v long day as you know I love you and I shall see u tomorrow sometime in the afternoon

YES EXTRA NOSE PUNCHES. That is okay. I’m bringing your cinnamon tea bc you forget it and a chai tea that is too peppery for me. So you can try that. And we can figure it out or have nacho bring us back some leaves and berries

TODAY IS NATIONAL CAT DAY SO I GOTTTA MAKE UP FOR NOT SEEING MY FAVORITE KITTEN TODAY WHEN I GET THERE

I am absolutely positively coming to see your beautiful kitten face tomorrow. I’ll probably leave here around 130/200 ish so I can be there for 4 the latest. I hope you see this, if not ; SURPRISE !!!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - depends on if they actually ever together. stubborn beans.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - emery was pretty quick to fall for her but is completely oblivious to the fact that he is, or at least completely unwilling to admit to it ; not sure of shelley’s side of that.

How was their first kiss? -  rip they haven’t kissed.

Wedding: 

Who proposed? - it could go either way, honestly.

Who is the best man/men? - emery doesn’t have a lot of friends, especially that he’s close enough to to ask for that.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - ????? who would shelley ask???? bliss and stella just to rub it in their faces??? idk

Who did the most planning? - they planned it together and fought the whole damn time over every little detail not because emery particularly cared but because he likes fighting with her as much as he hates fighting with her.

Who stressed the most? - emery. he would second guess the whole time whether or not it was really a good idea because he doesn’t want to end up losing her for some reason and then wind up miserable like his father ; is afraid that maybe love isn’t meant to be a forever thing but would never vocalize or let on that he feels this way - so it probably appears to everyone else that shelley is the most stressed.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.  ( 10 out of 10 spent too much blood money on fancy napkins shaped like seashells you tell me. )

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - shannon.

Sex:

Who is on top? -  it is a fight of dominance to the end.

Who is the one to instigate things? - probably emery.

How healthy is their sex life? -  it should probably catch a cold because it’s startling immortality is frightening.

How kinky are they? -  emery won’t let me talk about it idk

How long do they normally last? - he will make it a mission to go all night, or they’ll spend twenty minutes in a broom cupboard like idk

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - oh no shelley has to orgasm like six times at least before emery let’s himself get there.

How rough are they in bed? -  Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. ( it varies )

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - depends. probably not much if they’re jumping each other in a secluded alcove and probably a little before one of them sneaks back out of their dorm room and probably a lot if they actually get together / married. or there for:No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? -  ???? not sure emery actually wants kids so we’ll see

How many children will they adopt? - do fish and seahorses count as children bc a lot probably

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - emery will not touch it

Who is the stricter parent? - emery will not tolerate tomfoolery unless shelley is not paying attention so tbh shelley

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -  emery suggests that it is a bad idea

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - emery probably reminds shelley if she forgets

Who is the more loved parent? - it is an equal love and respect and fear

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - they duel it out

Who cried the most at graduation? - shelley

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - emery

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - emery

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - seahorse

Who does the grocery shopping? - emery

How often do they bake desserts? - emery isn’t that fond of sweets (aside from cotton candy) so not often

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - all food tbh

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - emery af

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - shelley af

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - shelley af

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - emery

Who is really against chores? - i don’t suppose that either of them are particularly against if but emery is more particular to doing them out of habit.

Who cleans up after the pets? - shelley

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - shelley

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - emery doesn’t really like people

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - the cat probably ate it

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - they bathe together 70% of the time but it is difficult to get shelley out of the bath and emery takes twenty minute showers usually

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - if they had one, probably emery

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - every holiday that is important. extremely lavishly. usually the house elves do most of it.

What are their goals for the relationship? - not to kill each other

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - shelley

Atlas has a dog!!!