#oflockwoods

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COURT !! ( @triicksterfox / @oflockwoods )

Dear Sister LAUREL,

have you ever heard of the justice society of america? join the club. up until today they were nobody in a timeline full of mystery. mick, heatwave, the one with fire, he told them to come back and stop us from ever boarding the waverider after we took down savage. yeah, that happened. thank you for being the inspiration behind that. thank len when you see him too. if it weren’t for him, mick would’ve never stepped up to the plate. everything was… less than ideal but it was working. we were making it work. and now i have this really — we fucked up, laurel. there’s no timemasters, no timeline, there’s no rules. how am i supposed to fix something that i ———

god, this is ridiculous. 

how many times do you think i can write this letter before i’ve said all i can say? this makes seven. the other six are crumpled on the floor somewhere. i’ve lost track of them, kind of like i’ve lost track of time. i’ve been staring at sheet seven for hours now just.. trying to force something to come. trying to force anything to come but the more i try to think of everything i’m supposed to say, the more pieces i lose to the puzzle i’ve been trying to put together. i almost find myself stalling the completion of this letter because.. that’s it. that’s goodbye. maybe i’m not ready for goodbye, especially since i lost my chance at one to begin with.

i was told writing this thing would help me. it didn’t help rip. i can’t see how writing this is going to help me find closure when i can’t even find the words to say.

i keep wanting to tell you that i’m sorry, but i don’t know how. i put the pen to paper and i just.. don’t know how. and i get so mad at myself because i sit here, staring, even though i know you deserve more than the majority of my day wrapped up in a paragraph or a memory from when we were younger scribbled all over a notebook that still has your notes from law school. how did you do it? when the gambit went down, when i wasn’t coming home, how did you do it? because i keep trying to find excuses to be strong, to stay on path, but i want to go home, laurel. i want to curl up in your bed with my stuffed shark and i want to come home. i can’t breathe here. i constantly feel like i’m drowning and the only time i don’t is when i’m out in the field looking for damien or beating someone senseless. rip blames it on the bloodlust but.. it’s more than that. i should’ve been the one to take the arrow. i just.. i keep.. what if i never got on the gambit with ollie? you’d have no reason to be out there if i never.. if we never..

and i just keep begging rip to take me back. god, please just take me back. if we take the team, if we.. we could do something. i could warn oliver. 

this isn’t his fault. it was his arrows but he wasn’t the man behind the bow. i just.. i wish he would have called me. i wish dad would’ve called me. i was dropped off five months after you died. five. i missed your funeral. i heard mom showed up. i heard oliver.. i shouldn’t be so mad, right? because it wasn’t his fault. i keep.. telling myself that but it hasn’t made a difference. i keep wanting to blame the queen family for everything that’s happened because that’s easy. i’ve gotten so used to blaming myself that shifting the blame on to someone else this one time seems so simple — just get it over with. cut ties with oliver and thea. no more bloodlust, no more.. anyway. i can’t do that to oliver. or to thea. they’ve both lost so much. i just wish… i had the opportunity to tell myself not to go with oliver in october. i didn’t because i thought of everyone i’ve helped, everyone i saved. what becomes of them if i never leave? but what’s become of me now that i’ve lost the one person i swore to god to save?

i don’t even want to close my eyes at night because all i see is you. i’m so far away from everything, disconnected, almost like i’m back in purgatory, and i watch you die over and over and over again. and i’m screaming for oliver, for daddy, anybody at this point, but nobody comes until the arrow.. it’s always too late to save you. i play back the memory so i can perfect what needs to be done but every time i’m stuck behind this wall. you can never see me, you can’t hear me, you can’t feel me, but i can feel it. all of it. you die and i wake up. it’s never ending. dad shut off your voicemail a few days ago. i called it one night because i forgot… i couldn’t remember your smile. your voicemail is with tommy, i can feel your smile through the phone, but by the time it hit the voicemail mark it dropped. ten times. i don’t know what to do. i just..

i’m going to find a way to save you. i have to. i promise.

URL: ☆ | ☆☆ | ☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆☆ Icon: ☆ | ☆☆ | ☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆☆ Theme: ☆ | ☆☆ | ☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆☆ Posts: ☆ | ☆☆ | ☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆☆ Overall: ☆ | ☆☆ | ☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆ | ☆☆☆☆☆ Following?: [  ] Yes [  ] No, sorry [  ] I am now [  ] Thinking about it [ XXXX ] Forever and ever <3Special little note: you don’t get five stars on the url, just because i am not the biggest fan of the ‘of’ trend. but, honestly court, i completely love tyler and you write him so amazingly well!! you made me love him even more if that’s possible. not to mention how important he is to lydia ( in pretty much every universe at this point ) and how much i love our interactions with them and how much i love yOU TOO AND YEAH!!

MEME. | what fads/trends are you so over?

relating to rp or? fashion? because i can do b o t h. this whole thing is rp related so i’m just going to go for gold && say this is asking what fads i’m over rp wise. oh god. okay. so, there are a couple that i’m getting tired of seeing, forgive me:

1. those writing psa’s. i just posted a little rant about it last week but they continue to be written && i think it makes this place truly && extremely uncomfortable for those who feel it’s directed at. especially when they’re using s p e c i f i c examples && saying now this isn’t directed towards anybody in particular. because pulling something from a thread && using it as an example of ‘improper english’ or ‘poor quality writing’ doesn’t just apply to the person who wrote it, but also applies to the people who write like that. it’s just… highly offensive && honestly, it’s bullying masked as trying to help. it’s become such a trend that people reblog without thinking who it may directly effect on their own personal dash. or they honestly don’t care because they treat it as a j o k e. that’s awful && i’m over it.

2. character hate. i’ve seen it more && more. untagged && uncalled for? it’s okay, everyone’s allowed to have their opinions && i respect that but there’s this trend of putting other characters down in order to justify the actions of your own && like — when did that become a thing? when did not tagging that become a thing? #anti-character name. #character name hate. The two easiest tags in the world && we forget them all. the point is, this is a trend that has to go out the door. bye. don’t try to fix your characters mistakes by offending someone else — that’s twice as bad && just as nearly unjustifiable as whatever it is you’re trying to get across.

3. anon-hate. this has been a trend for far too long && r e a l l y? it’s starting to go beyond the realm of normal disagreement. did you really have to go out of your way to hate on someone, behind a grey mask, for posting an opinion? or a photo set? or a gif? did that really make you feel empowered to see the other person get flustered && log off? because that’s what i see on my dash, constantly, && it’s really disheartening. && those people that send themselves anon hate to gain interest on the dash. that isn’t cool. that isn’t — stop. all of it needs to stop. those positive memes are my life && they’re so rare. over t h i s.

salty af munday meme. || accepting

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

     blogs so fancy you can’t read jack shit. bc like. we are here to write??? and read your writing?? don’t get me wrong -- i love visual art sm, i do it myself and have friends who are PHENOMENAL artists, but... the main point of rp is the writing; you gotta draw a line somewhere. seriously fam. also assuming that means someone’s writing is good, like ??? ?? ? ??? what are you guys doing holy shit, that only makes them a quality ARTIST not a quality WRITER jesus fucking christ. yes, presentation matters, but your blog doesn’t have to look like you live in photoshop to be presentable.

       ALSO. ON THE ART NOTE. psds that are so washed out you can barely tell who’s in the fucking icon??? like what’s the point? i just don’t get it, man.