#off campus 3

"Okay, so here's our plan for tonight. First we'll bone down to take the edge off. Then we'll order a pizza and replenish our energy, and after that, round two. Sound good?"

"Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist about your delusions? Because, sweetie, there's no chance in hell of us boning tonight."

"Fine. How about we go down on each other instead?"

"How about you leave?"

"Counter offer—I stay and we dry hump."

"Counter offer—you can stay, but you're not allowed to talk."

"I stay, I'm allowed to talk, but I won't hit on you."

"You stay, you can't hit on me, and you have to watch my show without a single complaint."