This will be the most random thing you'll read today. And yes you can ignore this, just felt like typing it out.
But it is the most bizarre feeling to actually feel a herniation. That it will remind me it's there and so close to hurting me at anytime. I have one near my L4 and L5 in my spine, and most of the time I feel nothing and other times I can. Like right now I feel a tingling light pain where it is. I can't feel it when I put my hands on my spine but yeah it's there and freaking weird. It's been over a year since my last massive issue from it, it moved onto my nerve and I actually couldn't walk for hours (almost emergency surgery) and hands down the most excruciating pain I've ever been in. All of 2020 (starting in feb) I was either on bed rest or in rehab. It's oddly very emotional to think back on, seeing how far I've come and all I went through. I had to change how I do things in my every day life, like I can't sit in certain chairs or certain ways, or not do physical therapy at least once a day, or even standing for so long, and don't get me started on how it changed "adult activities". It changed me mentally too. Adding to fears and creating new ones and also showing how strong I am. I know I have several more years until the herniation is all but gone and I know in time I may get feeling back in parts of my foot and leg (it's a weird numbness). I'm just happy I'm not in a daily pain anymore, that I can walk without help or a limp, and that I know who in my life I can truly rely on. As horrible as this experience has been, it has helped me understand things about myself and made me stronger..even with the mental ups and downs it caused. I know I can make it through even the most blinding and emotional pain bc I made it through this.
Honestly don't know why I'm posting this, it just was on my mind, esp since I can feel it right now. But yeah here is the most random post you'll see today.
