#oceansplaylist

anyway i was at work all day lowkey thinking in the back of my mind about two playlists: meredith @ addison, addison @ meredith.

and.

so:

@-vorobyshek- requested an upload of my huuuge blackstairs playlist, so here are the screenshots! The playlist is called ~OCEANS~ and is supposed to be shuffled only. I listen to a huge range of artists from the 60s to present day so the songs are chosen regardless of their style. Instead I’ve tried to create a both melancholy and dreamy feeling, reminiscent of the lines of the song the title originates from: “we fell in love / right by the ocean / made all our plans / down on the sand”

I will update the playlist as I add more songs to my phone, under the tag #oceansplaylist

“when love starts out in the darkness, it doesn't do well in the light. affairs of the heart that start out in the dark usually stay with the night. nobody sees them, at least, not together. she rarely goes out. she spends everyday waiting for the day, when everybody finds out.” new york era maddison.

“we see no change in sight, watching her decline. she gets on a midnight plane. she's done it a thousand times.” INHLW, leaving new york for seattle straight after the abortion.

“I know he loves me, everyday he calls me. he says he adores me, what can I say? you can't love him, you can't have him, I do have him…most of the time.” the meraddek triangle of emotional fuckery.

“maybe it's just something else, but you can't tell me. maybe it's in the way that you… look away from me.” early meddison. inhlw, so many words unsaid. longing glances from the gallery down into the OR.

“anywhere we can, anytime we can… get away.” merder prom scene.

“it's not like any words need to be said. well you always know when something's wrong… my friend” meddison downfall. “you’re… dating the vet? okay.” “addison”

Your fingers grip the wheel, as you're pulling out your parents driveway. You're staring down the road, burying your heart in the ash tray. You think it's gonna grow, like a wildflower on the side of the highway.

You got stopped by the cops putting lipstick on, for your junior prom You looked so pretty he let you off. You always said that it creeped you out, and it let you down And it made you think less of the law.

We can sleep on the floor cause you're scared of heights And you're scared you might turn into your mother. I'll sleep in the rain under your headlights,

I'll be outside your front door.

(Meredith talking to an unconscious addison.)

The world is brighter than the sun now that you're here.

(Addison waking to find her asleep next to her.)

Though your eyes will need some time to adjust, to the overwhelming light surrounding us.

(both of them in acceptance it’s not going to be easy instantly. but that it’s happening…)

I will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go.

(Addison at Celia.)

Promise… you’ll do better?

(Celia’s ghost at Addison.)

I will rearrange the stars, pull them down to where you are.

(Meredith to addison.)

I promise. I’ll do better.

(Addison to them both.)

I will soften every edge, hold the world to its best.

(Addison to Meredith.)

I promise. I’ll do better.

(Meredith to Addison.)

I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so.

(both of them. INHLW, part 4. the peace.)

and god it feels nice to be this careless again

i’m not myself, i haven’t been in some time,

but don’t you see me trying?

don’t you see me????

I'll be getting over you my whole life.

It only feels this raw right now, lost in the labyrinth of my mind.

You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back, just like that.