“Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters. Wherever You will call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. And my faith will be made stronger. In the presence of my Savior.” ---- Oceans, Hillsong
Today marks my 4th psychiatric session and for the first time, I was ecstatic to announce to my psychiatrist that I am finally getting better, unlike the previous sessions which are all filled with remorse and dreadful tears. It’s hard to be diagnosed with a mental illness during these times, most of the people will think you’re just making things up or maybe you’re not just praying to God enough AND we’re not even talking about taking medicines just to feel okay. Nope, we’re not even there yet.
This battle against Bipolar II disorder with mixed features is the warzone that my 12 years old self back then, has never imagined facing. Fast forward, 10 years later, I’m 22 now, sometimes I’m still in the “indenial stage” especially that my parents don’t know about it yet.
Let me share my song cover while I’m still on a mania stage. I will remain unchained --- walking upon the waters above my fears and this illness. Jesus is my everlasting Solana.
All glory belongs to God.
