#oc saudade

“Oh! U-uhm. .  ” (Glancing at Suzilla, you could see a shy Crux speaking up from behind them.) “W-we did that, for a bit, and uhm, it, uhm, s-seemed to wo-work, s-so u-uhm. . . .”

“Yes?” (Nia's eyes lit up and she squatted down to Crux’s level.) “Did the map help you move around?”

“. . . Y-yeah. . !” (Crux was very quiet.) “It, uhm, w-worked because, uhm, of, o-of persh- per- p-per-spec-tion.”

“That's right!” (She smiles in delight while you and Nille exchange a Look.) “If we make a map as we explore, it solidifies that area in our minds, which means we can always find a way back to it!”

“Interesting.” (Odile eyed the squire.) “So you are to trail us as we do the hard work of fighting through this maze?”

“Exactly.” (Her face returns to a position of ‘just enough cheek’.) “You’re the Saviors of Vaugarde, are you not? I’m sure you can handle anything we find there with ease.” 

“Of course.” (She replies with a sigh.) 

“Oh we’ll be alright, M’dame!” (Isabeau chuckled.) “What’s one more romp through a weird not-castle with messed up geometry!”

“W-well at least we don’t have to run around the country looking for those orbs this time.” (Mirabelle adds, giggling.) “Let’s go!”

“Yeah!!!”

“Hey Suzy?” (You hear Petonillé talk as you take the lead.) “Just-”

“I’m not gonna stay outta fights, SIS!!!” (You hear them reply.) 

“I know I know!” (She chuckles awkwardly.) “I was just gonna say to, please be careful. Alright?”

“Oh. Okay.”

[The main hall was grandiose, regal, and reeked of snobbery. It had polished wood banisters, masterfully crafted lights, marble floors, and portraits lining the walls. You get a closer look at one while Rams led the others.] “. . . Uther Pendragon the third? That’s y’leader, right?” [You ask, turning back to Aptenia.]

“Was.” [She was walking just behind Ramos, and barely looked up from her work.] “Our current King is Uther the fifth.”

“So a monarchy?” [Asks Mira.]

“More of a dictatorship.” [She tilts her head.] "Even the King's children must prove themselves worthy of their title."

(You glance at Alex. Hey careful! Metaphysical manifestation or not you could still get hurt by whatever’s around here!)

[I'll be fine! You roll your eyes, the last people who deserve your respect in being careful is these blinding-]

“Look out!!”

(You weren't paying enough attention as you made your way to the next doorway, but luckily Mirabelle called out a sadness that had been clinging to the ceiling! It's diving at you now! Quickly, you reach for your weapons!)

“[RULE BUSTER!!!]”

(In the blink of an eye, a blast of energy struck the sadness. A quarter second later, something leapt into the air and slammed into it. A half second after that, you could make out that its entire midsection had been completely atomized.)

(Suzy landed a full second before the remains of the sadness did.)

“. . .”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“. . .” 

“. . . What. I got it.”

“That was. . . very impressive, Suzilla.” (Odile enunciated her words with precision.) “Striking with such force. . . It did not damage your arm, did it?”

“Uh, no?” (She rolls their shoulder.) “Feels fine?”

[Heh, no wonder the Knights are scared. And what was that about being careful?]

(Oh shut up.) “Well if you feel like you ever need a break, let us know.”

“‘Kay! Can we get going now?”

>>>

(Well this little expedition had been fascinating.) 

(You and your party would enter a room, you'd look around, deal with any sadness, and see what each of the connecting rooms were. Aptenia would note each one down, and then you all chose which direction to go next. Rinse and repeat. You'd done this with about a half-dozen rooms now, so it was time for a very well deserved break.)

(You were enjoying some onigiri from Boniface’s endless pockets, and had found yourself sitting not too far from Nia. It seemed like everyone else was quite content doing their own thing, save for the siblings, that is. But for some reason, you couldn't help but feel like there was something missing. . . Odile off to the side with a book, Isa chowing down, Mirabelle off thinking about something. . .)

(Change, you can't wait to find Siffrin.)

(You can't imagine how they would react to everything that's happened. Especially with Bonnie, Suzy- Southern Stars. You’re having some trouble. Suzy said that Bonnie could be a good catch all name, but it just. . . Didn't feel right. Well, you know why it didn't feel right, it's the same feeling that Alex or Altiare gets when they need to just, go along with being called Ramos.)

(But names you could get used to. What you’d never get over was Suzy’s newfound strength.)

(They were more sturdy than Isabeau, more precise than Mirabelle, had stronger crafts than Odile, and were faster than you could ever be. And she did all that without breaking a sweat! Stars, she even made her own craft move!!)

(You remember once being told what Siffrin was like on the day they stormed through the house solo. It almost reminded you of that, almost. Honestly, Suzy’s been winning fights before half of the group gets an attack in, if you're lucky!)

(You didn't need to be a mind reader to know Odile wanted to ask them to slow down. You also didn't need to read Suzy’s mind to know exactly how they’d respond; very smugly.)

“Psst, ‘Oz.” (Speak of the spider, you weren't really paying attention so you didn't notice Suzy shuffle over.) “D’you see that?”

(They're pointing to one corner of the room.) “. . . The. . . Potted plants?”

“No, dumbass! The- UGH, nevermind.” (They cross their arms and huff.) “Whatever.”

(. . . You share another glance with Nille. If Bonnie’s seeing things. . . W-well, what could that even mean? It could be any number of things and you can’t even find out directly because of their mental walls! Aaaah!!)

(Poor kid. . .) 

(?!?!? You glance over at Nia. She's still focused on her work, but that thought was unmistakably hers. You look around your greenhouse for signs of mint, but, no. She's not trying to get in, so why. . .)

(. . . Hmm.)

>>>

“We’re not getting anywhere with this.” (Petronillé protests, having just helped clear out another room.) “Choosing rooms at random? What’re we even looking for!”

“Something to do with Perci, right?” (Isabeau taps his foot.) “But what. . . ?”

“Well he was a squire when he ran away, no?” (Odile, currently investigating the room, turned to your new companion.) “Aptenia, what would you believe to be an important place for a squire?”

“One’s quarters comes to mind.” (Nia was finishing up updating the map.) “Maybe a classroom, the yard, or the library. But the only place more important, in my experience at least, is one’s own mindscape.”

“Of course.” (Odile nods.) “You wouldn’t happen to know where Percival’s mindscape would be, do you?”

“Oh, if only.”

“Wait! Oh I have an idea!!” (Mirabelle excitedly starts looking through her pockets, humming to herself before triumphantly pulling out a certain charm.) “Aha!”

“What’s that?” (Nille asks, walking over to have a better look.) 

“It’s-” (Mira starts, but before she can finish, the charm starts wiggling, then bounces out of her hand and across the floor.)

(A few bounces later, the charm morphs and grows into the sadness known as Horizon.)

“Hey, Horizon!” (Isa waves.) “How ya been?”

“Horizon?!?” (Nille had one hand on her hammer, but didn’t strike.) “That’s- Y’all found Horizon and didn’t say?!?”

“We didn't?” (Mira hums.) “I thought we told you back on the boat?”

“Must have slipped my mind.”

“^$!$(#&&¥&@+$&_@/!?!!!!!!” (Horizon hopped side to side excitedly.) “¥°¢!*??π√??”

“Good to see you too, buddy!” (Isa beamed.) 

(The sadness, struggling to stay real, zips around Bonnie and Petronillé in an infinity shaped pattern. Nille seemed to settle down after a second.)

“Horizon?” (Aptenia looks suspiciously at it.) “You, understand that thing-?”

(In a flash, Horizon’s abyss of a head was inches from Nia’s face. Mirabelle walked over to break them up.) “Don't worry about her, Horizon! A-and, uhm, not really? It's a long story.”

(It always is.) (That thought came from Nia clear as day. Unguarded, even. Was that intentional? You doubt she was forgetting to shield her thoughts, seeing as Galahad was her mentor. After a moment, Horizon backed off.)

“)#&-=×π√∆¥¢££\\=°” (The Sadness sped to one of the many exits in the room, and started making all kinds of strange sounds.) “#&+!!!! ∆§^€£√=÷π!!!!!”

“I believe it said ‘hurry up you snails.’” (Odile finished looking around the room.) “Shall we?”

[And of course, you shalled. Everyone got in formation— you, Nia, Mirabelle, Isabeau, Odile, Suzilla, Petronillé —as you pressed yourself, shoulder first, against the door. You waited a moment, listened, and focused for errant thoughts. There was sadness on the other side, you could tell by the scrambled emotions they emitted.]

(You held up three fingers, then two, then one. . .)

(Suzy runs past you and smashes through the door.)

“SUZ-!!!” [You chase after them!]

[Battle time! There was a big paper-type sadness on a balcony, an exploding ball sadness, Anxiété, in the middle of the room, and a third you couldn't see but KNEW was there. Suzy, of course, ignored the ticking time bomb. Instead, she jumped off of its head to smash the other sadness with the Tenderizer!]

[You’re up! You rush at Anxiété and use [Page Turner]! That should buy you some time!] “ZILLA-! STARS you’re just ignoring the exploding one?!?”

“I WUZ GONNA GET IT!!!” (Suzy sneers, then pivots on one foot and launches a [Rule Buster!] At the bomb. It hit solidly and sent it spinning into the wall, before dissolving into dust.)  “SEE?!”

“Was that it?” [Isabeau asks, stepping past you.] “Not much of a fight.”

“No, I think there’s one more.” (You lower your stance and glance around you.) “I felt three, so where’s-”

{We apologies.}

(You feel a shadow fall over the back of your mind! You spin, on the spot, and raise your weapons to block the sadness that lashes out at you!)

(A shimmering shield of craft got between you and it, Mirabelle’s [Holy Care Shield]! She had moved just in time, too! You hop back and look at your opponent. It was a Saudade, one that looked almost humanoid, and uncannily like Percival. It had a pocket watch, and was holding out a scissors sign.)

[Did, did it say SORRY to us?!?]

“FREAK!!!” (Suzilla jumped from where they were to slam into the Saudade.) “GO EAT A CRAB! STINKY!!!”

(The Tenderiser made contact, and knocked the Saudade to the ground, and started to dissolve. Except, instead of disappearing, it instead reformed into two more Saudade! These ones still looked human, but now undeniably held themselves like an animal.)

“Woah!” (Isabeau puffed up his chest and used [We! Will! Win!!!]) “Guess it’s true what they say about rabbits!”

“Say what about rabbits?” (Mira asks, turning to him with the tilt of the head.)

“‘Nother time, you two!” (Nille barks, before running at one of the Saudade with her hammer.) “Time to catch up my K.O count!!”

“HEY!!!” (Suzy yells as Nille smashes at one of the Saudades, making it split again into two that looked now like a cartoon rabbit.) “Wha-”

“T-they’re multiplying!!!” (Mira shrieked.)

(Isa looked chuffed.) “Yeah! Like I said!!” 

“Wh-”

[The larger Saudade brandished its scissors sign and thumped the ground rapidly. They all looked faster now! Suzy responded quickly, aiming another strike at the larger Saudade and taking it out only for it to split again!!]

[One of the medium Saudade looked around idly, another one slashed at Isabeau with its scissors sign, and another struck a blow against you. The fourth Saudade looked around, thumped its foot, and fled.]

“Don’t make more of them!” [Odile chastizes, and uses [Rock IV] on one of them.] “Focus on the smallest in the order! That way there won’t be existential growth!”

“Exponential.” [You correct.]

“Existential. I said what I said.”

“Or, better idea!” (You clack your tonfas together and use [Baton Pass], passing over to Petronillé.) “Use your new thing!!”

“My- OH CRAB YEAH!!!” (With a menacing grin, Nille rears back her hammer, and slams it against the ground! [Shake Test!], a skill that deals medium rock damage to all enemies! The ground rumbled and craft energy shot into the medium Saudade, making them all split into the small, fully rabbit kind of Saudade.)

“OH!!!!” (Mirabelle gasped excitedly in realization, before clapping her hands and held out her scissors-paper sign to use [Artsy Silent Burst!]. Discs of light sliced into the Saudade, taking each out one by one!! When the last one fell, it dissolved into nothing but a small, shining light.)

“YES!!!”

“HECK YEAH!!!”

“WHOOOO!!!!”

“. . . Well.” (Odile put her hands on her hips.) “I suppose I’m out of a job.”

“Naah.” (You smile your big dumb smile at her.) “You still gotta protigé to teach!”

“True.” (A chuckle in response.) (Cute.) “It is good to see you all working together so seamlessly.”

“H-heh, yeah. Alex was paying attention to the details I couldn’t because, uh, y’know.” (You clack your tonfas together for emphasis.) 

(Smart.) (Another Nia comment? You see her looking at you from the corner of her eye this time. Does she- wait, Nia do you WANT to be noticed!?)

(She winks.)

“Human-ish, almost human, cartoonish. . .” (Mirabelle thinks out loud.) “And regular rabbits. And if we beat one, it’ll split into two of a smaller type. . .”

“It looked like the small ones got scared easily, too.” (Isa adds.) “I mean, one of the smaller ones ran away without putting up a fight.”

“Maybe I could bithe one nexth thime.” (Suzy was chewing on their thumb, again.) 

“Maybe we should get you a chew toy, Suz.” (Nille ruffled their hair.) “Doesn’t that hurt?”

“No?”

“. . . Oooo-kaaaay!” (It’s fine, just ignore it.) (You hide your wince. Nille turns to the floating light.) “So! Who wants to touch it?”

“I do!”

“Sure.”

“I wanna!!”

“What in the-” (Nia starts, but before she could finish, Boniface had grabbed the light.)

Lancelot opened the door without a moment's hesitation, his velvet coat and tied-yet-flowing hair acting as his own entourage. He commanded the room in an instant, any chatter turning to silence. In his wake, a small binder under one arm and emanating as much confidence as possible, was me. 

“Oleander! To what do we owe the pleasure?” Says the only other man in the room who did not wear Avalon University’s uniform. “And who is this?”

“Just a ah, late addition~” Lancelot, Oleander, replies. He steps to the side and, with a dramatic flourish, presents me. “May I introduce, Percival Monet.”

I step forward, the room opening up as I do. I’m in a rather small lecture hall with about seventy or eighty students, all staring at me. At the head of the hall stood an older gentleman who, I assume, is my new teacher. I bow to him. “It’s an honor and a pleasure, sir.”

“Preposterous!!” The man storms over, his hammer of a voice ready to strike. “Our roster has been finalized for months, and I do not recall the name Monet being among them! Who are the Monets anyway!”

 “I believe it is some family of note in Poteria, sir.” A person with buzzed hair stands from among the students. Although the teacher glares at the speaker, Oleander motions them to go on. “A historically important family that has fallen off in modern times. In fact, I heard a rumor that their eldest son had dissapeared~”

“Well as you can see, I’m right here.” I couldn’t help but jest. “In truth, I simply sought out some higher education.”

“Enough!” The teacher orders the student to sit down. “We have procedures for this, Oleander! On whose authority do you-”

“Pendragon.” Oleander, with an ice cold gaze, hands the teacher a letter. I already knew the contents, it was one line, admitting me to the University.

The teacher read the letter, before mumbling something under his breath and shoving the letter back into Oleander's chest. “Fine. He is admitted, but I’ve yet to be told why!”

“You’ll see~” And with a chuckle, no, a giggle, Oleander turned to leave.

The teacher scowled at him one last time, before turning to me with an outstretched hand. “Well, Percival, I hope you live up to that introduction. Call me professor Hersh”

The faintest smell of mint hit my nose. Were I not looking for it, I would have missed it. With the slightest of smiles, I grasp his hand with my own gloved hand, and stare into his eyes. He responds with a confident iron grip, but his face betrays his true feelings; confusion, and then, bewilderment. 

I let my smile slip just a bit wider. “You have quite the grip, professor.”

“Of course I do!” His eyes relaxed, half-squinting at me. “I greet all our new students the same.”

“Oh really?” I retrieve my hand. “That wouldn’t happen to pertain to our first lesson, would it?”

“HA! Go take a seat, Percival.”

With that, I turn and walk to an open spot. The eyes of the other students dug into me, their faces betraying a superior smugness I have been long familiar with. I sat down and ignored them as Hersh returns to his place.

“Now where was I-- Ah! Yes.” He clears his throat. “You are all the best and brightest, yes, but my first question to you all is simple! What do you think you will learn here?”

A handful of other students throw out suggestions such as ‘politics’, ‘espionage’, or ‘manipulation’, but Hersh waved away each and every one of them.

“No, no, and no! Too simple! Too small!” He shook his head and looked down. “Come on! There must be one person in this room who knows why they are here?!?”

. . . Oh blood, this opportunity is just too perfect! I clear my throat in the same tone my father taught me, and raise my hand.

Hersh turned to me, his tone now holding a whiff of almost, jovial energy. “. . . Yes, Mister Monet?” 

“Now this may sound mad, but. . .” I lower my hand and lean my head on it. “It wouldn’t be how to control the minds of others, would it?”

“. . . HA!” Professor Hersh grinned, then snapped his fingers. “Correct!”

At the snap, almost every other student went limp in their chairs, a handful of heads slamming onto desks. Only yourself and six others stay alert, which included, strangely enough, the student with buzz cut hair. In fact, as the two of us locked eyes, I couldn’t help but notice the sturdy leather gloves he wore.

“Each and every one of you are descended from greatness, and are destined for the same! You are destined to rule! To rule is to know people, and to know people is to know the mind!” Hersh snaps his fingers again, and heads start to rise. “Now! Of the six who were not affected, four of them opted to salute or bow, and two wore gloves! Now tell me, what was the connecting factor between who was and was not affected? Put your hand down, Percival, since you already know.”

“-Hell was that!” (Aptenia finishes, stumbling back.) 

“O-oh right!” (Mira shakes her head.) “For some reason, Saudade leave memories once they’re dead. T-they’re, uhm, Perci’s. . .”

“And what a memory this one was.” (You stretch your arms and legs, getting feeling back in your limbs.) “Eighty students? I’ve only ever seen a couple dozen out in the yard.”

“I bet they’ve got a hell of a turnover rate.” (Isabeau slaps your back.) “If they’re all about being the best, y’know?”

“Good point!”

“Aptenia.” (Odile’s tone was pointed.) “Did you not say your father was named Oleander, and also claims the title of Lancelot? That was him, wasn’t it?”

(You turned to Nia, as did everyone. The girl was pressed against one wall, mapping tools tight to her chest. She kept her eyes to the ground, and-) (He didn’t have the scar.)

(Nia’s thoughts were an open book, even more than before. No, this wasn’t a choice, this was--) (Eight- eight years, that's when he got the scar. That makes sense. . . Gods, even when he acts different he's still the same- always the same, and, a-and Pendragon-!!) (You could taste anxiety, uncertainty, and- and panic? Oh Change, it was like when, when you fought Percival in Wolworth.) (Of course, what was I even- am I ever going to. . . can I-? No, no no- no not here not now. Weakness-- weakness is a parasite. Weakness is a parasite---)

“She probably can’t say.” (You break the silence.) “I don’t think these guys would like students blabbering about whatever they want.”

(Odile gives you a Look, one that says ‘you know that makes no sense’. But, she relents.) “A fair point, forget I asked.”

“C’mon gang, let’s look around.” (With that, Isabeau turns and start searching the small common room.)

(Thanks.) (The thought enters your head as you start looking around paintings on-) (Tell anyone and I’ll know.) (GEEZE OKAY!!!)

(. . . Why were you lowering your guard before, anyway? Did you just want to talk?)

(Maybe.)

(I mean, you could’ve just, asked???)

[Ramos are you stupid or something?!?]

(H-Hey-!!)

(They’re pretty stupid, yeah.)

(HEY!!!!)

[Zip it, I’m not gonna let myself be backed up by one of you people.]

(Would you prefer a different student come help you? Remember, I'm one of the better options here.)

[Puh-lease, I know you’re just another snake in the snake pit.]

<Drop it you two.>

[Spoil sport! You're done checking the paintings for secrets anyway. You huff, and turn back to look around the room.] “Find anything?”

“Nope!”

“Nothing of note, no.”

“Yeah, I think we’re good. Nia?”

“I’m all done with mapping the room.”

“M-maybe we should head back for now? I-I mean, we can come and go from here easily now, right?”

“Yes we can, now that I have noted the floor layout.”

“Sounds good here, right, Suzy?” 

“. . . Huh?”

(Suzilla) [Crux] {Crimson} <Eight> |Ember| 

“Huh?” (You glanced away from the hallucination. Oh, everyone was going to the exit. Was it time to leave? Yeah that’s probably what Nille was asking.) “Oh, uh yeah, sure, one sec.”

“Everything alright?” (Your sis responded, but you weren’t paying attention to that.)

(The Bonnie-lookalike was back. They were leaning against one wall just a few feet away with their eyes glued to the ground. They looked kinda sad, actually. They hadn’t disappeared yet, either. Every other time these hallucinations showed up you didn’t have a chance to get close, but. . .)

(You carefully walk over to them, ignoring whatever the others are saying. This was important! You were probably going crazy, but you had to figure out what was going on! Right?! Bats, this Bonnie-double didn’t have your eyebags, and still had their favorite hat! They looked like you, only just, the you from half a year ago.)

(You’re right next to them now. . . Heh, now or never, right?)

(You reach out to the double, and your hand lands on their shoulder. It doesn’t phase through.)

(In a blink, the other Bonnie recoils away, staring at you with wide eyes and a shocked expression. They’re, they’re real?!? Your hand didn’t go through them like- like a ghost or anything!! What the hell?!? You stare at each other for a few moments longer, oblivious to your family calling out to you. The Kid version of you opens their mouth.)

"YOU----N S----ME?!?!” (The Kid and their words were flickering in and out of your perception, almost like a dream on the edge of memory.) “Y-----CH ME?!?!?! WHA------ING-------ON??!?!?!?"

“WH-!?!?” (You blink and shake your head, but they’re still there!) “I, YEAH I CAN SEE YOU!! U-UH, UH--!!”

“Bon--- Suzy?!” (Nille touches your shoulder, and you spin around.) “Is, is everything okay?!?” 

“YEAH!! I was just--” (You turn back around, only to see the other Bonnie running away, before disappearing.) “Just, t-talking, to. . .”

“Can you see what is unseen?” (The rabbit asks you again.) “Or touch what is untouched.”

“I. . .” (You blink, and you’re back here again. Where are you? Why are you here? What’s going on?!)

“Can you remember a chord unplayed?” (The rabbit tilts its head.) “That is why we are here.”

(You’re in the boat again, holding the bundle tight and trying your heart out to stay afloat. Weren’t you about to drown a second ago?! W-what?!? N-no no you’re not thinking right, that’s it! The storm, the salt, it’s made you thirsty, thirsty. You need water, please, water, why don’t you have any water!)

(The water’s so lovely, you dive right in!)

“I. . . Don’t understand what you mean.” (Your feet rustle softly through the finely cared grass.) “A. . . A chord unplayed?”

“Can you sail a sea unsailed? Or do you sail on to other seas?”

(Someone else is in the rowboat with you. You can’t make out his face, a-and you can’t make out his body, his arms, legs, anything! You don’t know who he is or why he’s walking towards you, y-you can’t move as he reaches out, grabs for your bundle of cloth and-)

(You dive at the person, and plunge you and him both into the water.)

“If- Change alright!” (You throw your hands in the air, then sit down.) “Well, if I’ve never sailed on a sea I wouldn’t remember it, duh.”

“No no no!” (The rabbit thumps the ground.) “Not a sea never sailed! No! A sea unsailed, a sea unsailed is what we see.”

“A sea. . . Unsailed?”

(You’re back in the boat, the storm raging on. You hear voices in the distance, bells in the distance. Men calling for you, looking for you. You dare not be found, you cannot be found. You’ve wanted all your life to run away, to live and stay and thrive in this way you may never achieve. You want your life, you want your chance. You want to stay with them, you want to stay. With. . . .)

(Where are you?)

“A sea unsailed, an unsailed sea.” 

(The rabbit was waiting for you, the pocketwatch in its hand going tick, tick, tick. . .)

(A sea unsailed, do you see a sea unsailed? Feel the seas of a sea unsailed? Hear the call of the sea unsailed. An unsailed sea that was sailed, but the sailing is undone? Do you hear a sound unheard? See a sight unseen? To unsee, unhear, unsail and more. . . What does it mean to unsail a sea?)

(Waves crash over you, refusing your right to speak or think. You will not be bested, you cannot, be. . .)

“A sea unsailed, an action undone. . .” (You pluck a blade of grass and stare at it. You try and put it back.) “. . . A wound unmade still leaves a scar.”

“A tree unfelled still lives no more?” (The rabbit adds.)

“And a sea unsailed. . .” (You stop, the next word on the tip of your tongue.) “. . . A sea unsailed. . . A sea. . .”

(How long have you been in this nightmare?!?)

“Nightmares and time? Time does not know, neither does space. Dreaming of nightmares makes us lose pace.” (The rabbit’s changed. It looks almost like a person, with a vest and a shirt. It was sitting on the other side of the boat in the now calm seas.) “A wound unmade still leaves a scar? Does a scar unhealed now make a wound?”

“Stitches undone, maybe, but. . .” (You rub your head, memory flooding back to you.) “. . . Bonnie, Siffrin, everyone! Where are they?! Are they okay?!”

“Why are they? When are they? Who are they?” (The rabbit Sadness replies.) “I know not what I know, do you know what I know?”

“Can you say something that makes sense? Please?”

“Something that makes sense? It makes sense to me, don’t you see?” (The rabbit tilts its head.) “What’s real, and what’s not? It matters not it does. How do you feel?”

“. . . Feel like shit.” (You collapse back, hand to your forehead. Change, you’re exhausted. . .) “What just happened?! Why the crab am I here?!?”

 “There is a stitch that has been unstitched, a weld that is unwelded, a heart now unhealed; and all ask one question.” (The rabbit blinks tears away.) “Do you remember?”

“Do I remember. . ?” (There’s so many things to remember.)

(Someone is calling your name.)

“Do you remember remembering? Do you remember what was forgotten. . . ?” (The rabbit tilts its head the other way.) “We remember you.”

“Wha. . ?” (From where? From when Perci saved your ass from hypothermia? When you fought? When he took over your mind. . .?)

(Multiple someone’s are calling your name.)

“We remember your courage. Kindness. Loyalty. Family.” (The Saudade reaches out a hand to you.) “Would you remember with us? So one day we may remember together?”

(What the hell is this thing even talking about?!? You just want to get out of here for Change’s sake!! Whoever's calling for you, they must be able to help! You open your mouth-)

*Take its hand.

(You take the Saudades hand.)

“Hey.” Zac’s voice pierced through the silence of the cabin. “Y’hear that?”

“Yeah.” I replied, already starting to get up. “I’ll check.”

The noise in question was a mix of the creaking ship around you, and the scraping of wood on wood just loud enough to make me question its source. I get up, grab my coat, a lantern, and my bag, just in case, and crack open the cabin door to look down the hall.

There was one other figure awake, clearly having also heard the sound and gone to investigate. But as I stepped out and towards the stairs up, the other figure held back as his distance to the stairs was much greater.

Climbing up towards the deck, there were no new noises of suspicion. Even so, I continued, and stepped up onto the deck to look around. I shone the light through a light rain and towards the bow. After seeing nothing, I then look to the stern, then the port, then- aha!! 

Ah.

A strong looking, trembling, dark-haired girl was standing by the lifeboats, halfway done with pushing one into the water. After a moment's hesitation, it hit me where I had seen her before. It had only been about six hours since then, but your mind simply had different things to worry about at the time.

This was the young girl the captain had been screaming at, and the reason Zac was currently persona-non-grata. She was running away. You lock eyes.

“Ey! See anything?!?” Says a voice from down below, likely the other passenger.

“. . . Nah!” I casually reply. “I’ll have a look around though.”

Naturally, the curious did not stick around and went swiftly back to their cabin. I held my lamp higher in time to see the figure mouth “thank you”, and go back to pushing the little boat off the ship. 

“Wait, get in.” I walk over and hook my lantern to the bow of the lifeboat. “I'll push.”

The figure nods, and hops into the boat. As I start to swing them out, I catch a better look at the girl I- no, the duo I'm helping. The person was holding a swaddled bundle of cloth that I can only imagine must be a little sibling. . . Blood, watching her frantically double check her supplies, fretting about getting caught, it reminds me of someone. It reminds me of me.

Once the boat was hanging over the water, I step back, and start rummaging through my pack. After a few moments, I pull out a coin purse. It's all Vaugardian coins anyway.

“Here.” I toss it to her. “I won't need it.”

“But-”

“You'll need this too.” I undo my coat and toss it to her. 

“I-”

That's it, I've made up my mind and there's no going back. Even if I can't go back to Vaugarde, that won't stop me from helping someone else find a good life there. I keep digging in my pack, looking for anything else that could help these two on their journey. I gave them my money, my lantern, my coat. . . I freeze, my hand brushing against something soft. 

. . . Soffice’s little paw. . . That “good luck” charm I could never bring myself to throw away, even if it hurt to look at. . .

“Row towards &@#^$!*@! For about half an hour, then look for a constellation that makes a cross. Follow that, and you’ll make it to Vaugarde.” After a second, I toss her my friend's memento. “. . . It’s a good luck charm. I don’t need it anymore.” 

She catches the charm, looks at it, then at me. “. . . Why are you being so nice to us?”

“. . . Because. . .” I take a shaky breath, and start to lower the siblings into the water. My hands are shaking. Why am I doing this? Is it because of spite? Rebellion? Blood, no. . . It's just. . .

“. . . Because there's no excuse, not to be kind.”

“Pétronille!!!”

(You snap awake at the voice, gut boiling with panic and surprise. Enough Adrenaline was buzzing through your body it took a couple seconds for your vision to clear, and to recognize who was talking to you. Even then, you had to rub your eyes and check again to make sure you're not hallucinating.) 

“. . . Mirabelle?” (You look around confused, you're on a boat a bit larger than the one you were just in, alongside Isabeau, Ramos, and Odile.) “. . . Is this real?”

“It is real, Pétronille.” (Odile's cool, calm, and collected voice affirms.) “Although no one would blame you for thinking otherwise, considering the circumstances.”

“W-we thought you were, you were. . .” (Mirabelle takes a quick breath before continuing) “I thought you weren't going to wake up.”

“Can't get rid of me that easily!”

“I don't know, you got pretty close” (Isabeau glanced away, rubbing his shoulder.) “We found you laying face up in the water.”

“. . .” (You grimace apologetically. At least you were in the eye of the storm, now.) “Well, I'm alive, that's what counts, right?”

“Haha, yeah. . .” (The big guy was sounding the opposite of confident.) “. . . Are you sure you're okay?”

(You look away from him, and back down at your hand. The same one that was reaching out.) “. . .I'll be honest, I dunno. . .” (. . . Huh. It’s still holding tight to something. You dunno what it is, but you knew you didn’t have it a few minutes ago. You bring your hand up to the light to have a look.)

(. . . It's. . . a rabbit's foot. Your rabbit's foot. Your rabbit's foot that was, apparently, given to you by Percival.)

“What's that?” (Ramos leans over from their corner of the boat.) “A rabbit's foot?”

“Yeah, a stranger gave it to me when I took Bonnie and ran away from home. He said it was a good luck charm.” (You hold it close to your heart.) “And I just learned that guy was Perci. . .”

“What?!?”

“Huh?!?

“Wha??”

“Please explain.”

“I think I saw some memory of Perci’s.” (You shake your head.) “‘Know it sounds crazy, but. . .”

(Ramos inhaled softly, eyes going wide. You could practically feel the curiosity and disbelief buzzing off of them. They lean in closer, voice a whisper.) “. . . Soffice. . .”

(As if by magic, the storm that surrounded you dissipated in the blink of an eye. The skies were clear, and the seas were gentle. It was as if the world had cleared a path for you with your destination clear in the distance. A castle that sat upon an island. It looked like something out of a kids fantasy book, complete with the ominous tower that led up to the sun.)

“How the hell-?!?”

“That was the name of Perci's pet rabbit when he was a kid” (Ramo- Alex?!? Replied?!? They're, suddenly sitting next to Ramos?!?) “We’ve also been getting his memories. Like how shit his home was, his time in dormont, that kind of stuff.”

“How the hell did you-?!?!?” (You cut yourself off. The surprise introduction of Alex had kicked your brain into gear, and you’d finally noticed something very, very important was missing.) “. . . Where is Bonnie?”

(“They’re staying somewhere safe.” was the answer you wanted. “We don’t know” or maybe “We’re on our way to get them now” were the answers you expected. Instead, you got the worst answer of all. Silence. Odile’s stone-face betrayed her, Mirabelle was fiddling with her fingers, and Ramos sank down in their seat.)

“. . . . T-there's, a lot to catch up on.” (Isabeau moved to the oars.) “I’ll start rowing us towards that island. Could you guys. . . ?”

“Y-yeah, sure. I’ll, I’ll start. . .” (Ramos took a deep breath in, then out, before finally starting to talk.)

(It felt like you were being told a fairy tale at first, something that was beyond belief, something you’d fall asleep to. But, they all spoke with such sincerity that it was. . . hard to deny. Well, not at first, that is. Especially since the story began with Bonnie, back in Dormont, being attacked by sadness before being saved by a kid-octopus-thing and a child version of Siffrin.)

“I know! I know it sounds weird!!!” (Mira waves her hands defensively.) “I-it’s probably better to explain everything in order so please be patient!!!”

“. . . Alright alright. Go on.” (You let out a breath and let them continue. You tried to not interrupt, even though you had more questions than you could count. Bonnie got away, met up with Ramos, attacked by more sadness, got cornered, and, and. . .)

“So, Jas did the. . . Flickerism thing, moths started swarming, and, uh. . .” (Ramos took a deep breath before continuing, head hung in, what, embarrassment?) “Then, I woke up. Bonnie and I were sleeping on a cloud, perfectly fine, a-and uh, uh. . .”

“. . .” (“Take your time” is what you should say, but what you WANTED to say was “go on”. Crab.) 

“. . . There were s-some, uh. . . Glowing moths? talking to us?” (Ramos just sunk down even more.) “T-th-then once Bonnie woke up they, f-f-formed up and turned i-i-i-, i-i-into. . .”

“Uh. . .” (You lean forward and offer a hand.) “You alright, Rams?”

“Y-yeah! Yeah, I’m just- it’s, i-it’s, a thing, for me. O-okay, okay. . .” (They take a deep breath.) “The moths swarmed together, and turned into a, into, uh. . . F-flicker, th-the Dreaming, One.”

“. . . I. . . See. . .” (The Dreaming One? Where did you hear- oh, OH! They were probably talking about the same Dreaming One that helped Bonnie’s nightmares; the same one Ramos had a panic attack over.) “. . . Crab, that must've been a shock.”

“Y-yeah, it was. . .” (Ramos was starting to sound calmer.) “Flicker explained what was going on, and basically Perci’s wish somehow merged reality and unreality? That's how Alex and the others are able to manifest, because, everything's both real and also, just in our heads? Does that make sense?”

(You let out a huff, and cross your arms.) “Not gonna pretend I do, but go on.”

“Okaycoolokay. Okay. Okay.” (Ramos takes a big breath.) “S-so, well. . . I-it turns out uh. . . That uh. . . Stars-”

“. . .” (Something bad happened to Bonnie. They didn’t wake up, or they got hurt, or kidnapped. You dunno what it was but that hesitance only fuels that fear. You sigh and look away, glowering at nothing.) “Just, just say it. Rip the bandaid off.”

“. . .O-okay.” (You saw Ramos blanch out of the corner of your eye, then sigh.) “Bonnie’s plural.”

“. . . . Yeah, alright.” (You lean back against the edge of the boat and look off into nowhere.) “Thought that might be the case.”

“HUH?!?”

“You DID?!?”

“Oh c’mon.” (You wave your hand around as you explain.) “Didn’t know the signs for a while but traveling with two of ‘em shows me a few things. Y’know, one second being pissed at me, the next acting like it never happened, that kinda stuff.”

(Everyone else awkwardly glanced at each other; heh, you couldn’t help but grin proudly.) 

“. . . I underestimated you, Pétronille.” (Odile let out a relieved breath.) “I apologise."

“No sweat.” (You shrug.) “So, the octo-kid and kidfrin were two ‘a Bonnies headmates?”

“Y-yyyyep.” (Ramos awkwardly continues.) “Crux the traveler, Eight the octopus, and also Ember the moth who’s, pretty shy. . . S-sorry, let’s continue.”

(Isabeau explained what happened to him, how he was puppeted, and then puppeted out of being puppeted. Alex explained the weird river logic, meeting Ranieri, and dealing with Hiroshi. Heh, Change, you wish you coulda seen Bonnie show that kid who's boss!!)

(Then came the Saudade, and the memory stuff. Apparently that’s just some regular occurrence here. . . Ugh, you dunno how to feel about poking inside someone else's head. Then again, it felt kinda deserved since it was Perci.)

(Waterfall staircase, sure, why not. You didn’t get it, but that’s whatever. When Ramos tried explaining the next part, though, you couldn’t help but notice their unease. After asking, Isabeau explained that the cave was using everyone's worst fears against them so nope! Skipping THAT! You did NOT want to dig at anyone's comfort zones right now. There was one piece of good news, though; Vixul and her friends were not only happy and healthy, but lil ol’ Muenos had joined the crew! Finally, some good news. . .)

(. . . It didn’t feel right to be smiling, though. Not after how they described the state Bonbon had been in. . .)

(You try your best to push that thought to the side and continue. Everyone got back together in time to fight a dragon. A dragon! That was NOT helping the fairytale feeling at all, doubly so when it turned out Bonnie defeated the dragon by yelling at him! HA!!!)

(Things began to slow down after that. Everyone got some time to relax, get outta that cave, and set off again. Crab, it even sounded like you were almost all caught up! But. . . But there was a hesitance in Ramos’ ramblings, regret in Isabeau's voice, and an out-of-place uncertainty in Odile's tone. When you tried to catch anyone's eye, they couldn’t look at you. Actually, had they all been avoiding eye contact the whole time?)

“. . .” (You got up and walked to the bow of the ship, and took a seat on the edge.) “. . . Come on, what happened, just tell me.”

“. . . We ran into trouble on the way here.” (Ramos’ tone got softer, more serious.) “Executioner Widow, do you know who that is?”

“Can’t say I do.” (You shake your head.) “But I don’t like that name.”

“For good reason.” (Ramos bit their lip.) “The Shining One has a lot of devotees, but out of all of them, Widow is the most well known, dangerous, and devoted. She tried to kill us.”

“Excuse me?!?” (You snap back in disbelief.) “Why th’ crab would someone want to try and kill you at a time like this!!”

“Aparently her god wanted, her, to. . .” (Ramos pauses and furrows their brow. They look off to the side for a few moments, leaving you impatiently waiting.) “. . . . . . . . . . .”

“. . . Well?”

“S-sorry!!!” (Ramos jumped and looked back at you.) “I-I, uh, just--”

“There was something off about her.” (Altiare cuts Ramos off, leaning over the edge of the boat.) “Both god and peon. We know Soleanism’s been getting more authoritarian, but this-.”

“Yeah yeah cool can you focus?” (Your tone had a splash more venom than you meant; Ramos winced.) “. . . Sorry, just, what happened to Bonnie? Please. . . ?”

(Altiare gave you a Look, before letting out a long, deep sigh.)

“. . . It was a hard fight, and Bonnie refused to just stay back. They got a few good hits in, hell they were even the first person to actually get a hit in, you woulda been. . .” (Xe shake xir head.) “Nevermind. Point is, that made Widow pissed. Pissed enough to attack them back.”

(Your chest feels tight.)

“. . . Crux pushed Bonnie to safety, but he got. . . Hurt. Badly.”

(Your vision narrows, your head is spinning.)

“. . . Tried getting to them, Widow was in the way. Bonnie ended up just, kneeling next to Crux, and. . .” (Altiare shuddered, voice flat.) “I’m. . . I, only caught a glimpse of it, so, so just, take this with a grain of salt.”

“Okay.” (You feel surrounded. You felt your chest twisting.) “Go on.”

“. . .” (Altiare.) “. . . Bonnie stabbed themself. In the chest. With Crux’s knife.”

(Your heartbeat becomes twisted. You feel cornered.)

“. . . We think they made a wish.” (Altiare.) “There was a fountain of darkness, a very strong smell of sugar, and. . . Bonnie- or, something, they killed Widow, then sped off in this direction.”

(You feel the north winds blow fiercely.)

“. . . Pétronille?” Mirabelle. “A-are, are you alright?”

Your face feels numb. Your voice feels cold.

 “. . . . . No. No, I'm not alright.”

“T-that’s, that’s okay.” Mirabelle. Someone’s holding your hand “Is, is there anything you need? O-or, something that could help??”

“. . . I think.” 

You feel the world revolving around you.