#obsessionsandaddictions

If you’re catching the rhythm of this season of the podcast, it’s very sequential. I spent a great deal of time plotting out my database of spiritual journal writing and note taking in a sequential manner with these eventual podcast episodes in mind. I personally find great value in seeing the various steps along the path, the experiences that stimulated or blocked growth, along with the decisions made that furthered me along my spiritual journey. I hope that you find value in this as well, especially as we move along, and you start to see more of the cyclical nature of time alongside the linear method of seeing time that I’m plotting out for you. Many of the things I’m speaking about right now return in the future and were already mentioned in summary in Season 1. Many of the things I began to learn and assimilate into my mind at this early juncture, mature and return in full knowledge in the future. Many of the things I read but did not understand at this point, are revealed in full in the future. So just as I stated in Season 1, that I had a mini-revival ten years ago where the mysteries returned and were attempting to penetrate my mind further, though I was not ready for it at the time, they all returned again cyclically, in almost the same exact patterns and symbols seven to eight years later. The same applies to many of the things I saw and experienced from this early time period that I’ve called the Awakening Experience and the Expansion of the Mind. I obviously can’t run through absolutely every single experience I would now come across, but I will do my best to at least speak about the primary ones. And what I mean by primary ones, are the ones that cyclically returned in the future with greater force of understanding and revelation regarding the depth of the mysteries as they existed in the ancient world when I’ve spoken regarding classical mythology, but also the Christian world after classical mythology. I’ve already given a snippet of it in describing my near-death death experience and that for some reason I slept for three days afterwards and how strange and what does it mean and how does it match the time frame found in the mysteries of Jesus the Christ, but I will work through more of these other mysteries to delve into these philosophical and theological concepts further. But I will still speak about these things in a linear fashion. I’ve already plotted it out in a general timeline since I can’t remember the exact dates for some of them, so the way my mind has typically worked throughout my life is based on my geography. Though I wasn’t a military kid, I was moved around like a military kid, and the way my mind has framed experience A or experience B is based around the years I was living in apartment or house X, or apartment or house Y. So, each of the next several experiences that we’ll dive into all occurred after the near-death death experience end of March, beginning of April 2001, until I left West LA in the summer of 2002. If the near-death experience was the snowball that hit me over the head, what transpired over the next year to year and a half was the avalanche that followed. I was never a competitive kid or person. Or rather, I lost interest in competitive type activities that kids get into because it didn’t seem like my parents cared at all, and so I stopped caring about such things as well. But in the third grade I won a contest for the most books read. I mentioned somewhere that in the third grade I read the Odyssey front to back even though I didn’t understand everything I was reading, but the words entered through my eyes and into my sub and unconscious where they were stored, nonetheless. Once Mary Jane entered into my life in the eighth grade, I would say I lost this part of myself, along with love of learning music, which is weird since most musicians that do drugs gain the music through the drug use, where I stopped caring about and playing the piano when smoking weed entered into my life. But I also said that I’ve never considered myself an addict since I would periodically stop everything I may have been doing at will, instantly, to finish a paper or study for a test so I’d still from time to time go through spurts of reading. Summertime was when this would happen to the greatest magnitude since not having access to buying the drugs or hanging out with friends throughout the day that wanted to steal liquor or smoke weed, my mind would return to itself and this always led to heavy bouts of reading over the summertime for me, when hordes of other kids wanted nothing to do with sticking their noses into a book. If you haven’t noticed yet, even after thirteen episodes, I was and am weird like that. It’s also why I hated school so much. I never felt like myself while in school. It was only during the summertime when I was out of school that I felt like myself once more. Freed now from the influence of hard drugs, freed now from the influence of marijuana, freed now from the influence of alcohol even, my mind needed to find an outlet. And find an outlet it did in reading like a madman, once more. While we’re on the subject still, before moving forward, I said in a previous podcast that playing video games was the lesser of two evils, but that I’ve wondered if maybe it wasn’t considering how long it took to break that habit compared to breaking the bud smoking habit. This is when it took place. If you don’t understand transmutation, or don’t understand in a scientific sense, chaos versus order, or the principle of entropy, at least as it pertains to your own self, to your own being, and not just in an external universal sense, let me touch briefly on that here as it pertains to obsessions or addictions. . . Read the full article

The Spiritual Journey Begins with an Open and Conscious Mind The royal art as it was called in the ancient world included many different areas of expertise ranging from astrology to memorization of prayers or incantations to the alchemical art of transforming one substance into another. The true transmutation occurs in the conscious mind versus the traditional lead into gold external idea and this episode focuses on this underlying and explicit concept and the actions taken that helped to formulate the new internal spiritual gold as I transitioned from the state of mind and being that I lived and existed in and through prior to the near-death mystical experience, and then by the process of mental transmutation transitioned into the mental state after having the experience that was one of being one in and through a spiritually minded lens and life. Timestamps: - Displaying the strange intermingling of linear and cyclical time through these podcasts and the similar themes that reoccur through the span of my spiritual experiences and lessons (01:24) - The reader in me from youth returns in full force with the mind now freed from the addictions of drugs and alcohol (04:07) - Esoteric principle of transmutation as it pertains to shifting out of an addiction of an unwanted habit, like smoking weed, into a desired one (05:56) - Using modern science and neurological ideas alongside transmutation of thought states (07:25) - The aftermath of the near-death experience and the need to study what the experience meant, in particular the study of God (11:27) - The purchase of the Bible and the incompetence of being Christian and yet not knowing the differences between Catholic and Protestant Christianity and the purchase itself signaling the path that would follow (12:22) - When and where the Gnosticism interest came into play while purchasing my Bible (17:04) - Synchronous event that helped push me towards the study of many religions and spiritual ideas versus a solely Christian one while not having the slightest idea of what Synchronicity actually was (19:24) - Laying the foundation in the mind by reading the Bible even if understanding it wasn’t fully there yet (24:26) - My earliest attempt at reading the Gnostic works and getting lost in the concept of Aeons (25:37) - How reading Dante opened up my mind to the memories of its own existence before being blinded by smoking weed (27:07) - My first conscious meditation triggered in one of Dante’s circles of Hell that brought about an examination of conscience that is compared to the hypothesis of what is potentially seen during a mystical experience (28:40) - An attempt at a theory of what is shown during a mystical experience (31:15) - College course that told me I had to dig deeper to understand the near-death experience since I couldn’t answer how it could point to God without the use of the drug that had been the catalyst for the experience (33:20) Read the full article

After a general overview of the mysteries, highlights of the various mystical experiences that I have experienced, or undergone, however you wish to view it, a detailed description of my mystical ascension experience in the first episode, followed by a summary examination of that experience through the lens of knowledge gained from the history books of those that have experienced and expressed similarly the movements that occur, it’s time to delve back into the past. Way in the past. Exactly 20 years ago to be precise, which is an interesting interval and again a reflection of both linear and cyclical time as we human beings experience time, as the ongoing flow that changes since it moves forward, yet also remains the same since it repeats itself always.  If you have had a chance to visit my website at logosofexperienceandtruth.com, perhaps you have already delved deeper into the mysteries. If you haven’t, make sure to visit and become a member since I break down the image of that which is seen during the mystical experience across the pages of human history specific to each of the various cultural and religious groups across time. What I left out in Season 1 of the podcast and within the contents of the member content found in the Vision Explained Deeper will be spoken of more clearly in these ten episodes for Season 2. Due to the nature of the contents found in this season it will be heavy on the non-fiction auto-biographical sort but will also expand into the questions and answers about the various phenomena of spiritual experience I’ve spoken of. As I stated in the first season of episodes, though I thoroughly enjoy reading the philosophical and theological and spiritual stuff, without the actual experiences of the various personages I’ve read it’s felt like much was being left out if it had actually occurred to them or the writers were simply rehashing things they’d learned but hadn’t actually experienced themselves. I was recently combing through You Tube and reading through what others have spoken of regarding subconscious re-programming and such things as that, and over and over again nobody seems to speak about any type of mystical experience, images seen, visions had, etc. I won’t name these speakers since I’m not bashing their work, there’s some very good speakers out there and perhaps they haven’t had actual mystical experience and are simply experts in the philosophy that is extracted from such experience, but I do find it very curious that such experiences as I will relate are not spoken of very often by others. Or I suppose I’ve just seen and experienced and comprehended some pretty wild stuff. This is why I started this podcast with my most recent mystical experience and then unpacked much of the underlying mystical philosophical underpinnings of that experience and this season of the podcast will continue down that path but with much more detail of the personal sort. Some of what I will recount will obviously sound made-up. Hopefully the discerning listener of this podcast or reader of this ebook will be able to pick up the type of details that will render it impossible to have been made-up. Fantastical, drug-induced and hallucinatory perhaps, but definitely not made up in the creative sense. As spoken of in another episode, I’m sure there’s something to be said in trying to give a disclaimer at the forefront saying that I’m not lying in what I will retell as a way of priming your mind towards a laundry list of lies, but hopefully by now, you know I ain’t lying. Telling the truth is far more interesting to me regarding these mysteries than lying or making it up. And if you still believe I’m just crazy or was solely under the influence of drugs then at least you’re getting some of the visual content that such experiences may bring if that’s all you come to believe may have been occurring in my mind. So let’s get into it. There was an experience I had in 2001. I have mentioned it, spoken of it in various episodes of the podcast and member content when it made sense regarding it, summarized it through one of my characters in my book Lucifer Revealed, but I have yet to tell the entire tale of that which occurred and was seen and experienced. As before, I will do my best not to provide interpretation of what was experienced and seen during the time of the experience unless it was seen and interpreted and understood during the experience itself. I will instead tell the tale to the best of my abilities and will then unpack it along with everything that I could reflect upon and see that led up to the mystical experience followed with all that came afterwards. So, I won’t provide too much context to what led up to this experience other than what I feel is necessary so that you understand to a degree what I may have immediately understood during the experience and at the very least, understood very quickly afterwards. Also, just as a disclaimer, this story will get deeper into my previous life’s drug use along with graphic depictions of the possibly supernatural scary sort. You have been advised. I was 19 at the time. There is that obvious comment to be made that through the course of time and aging and the gaining of knowledge, experience and wisdom, we all grow. We change. We either devolve into something more bestial or rise higher as human beings and then further rise into spiritual beings. It’s the flow of life whether we know it or not. To put it as bluntly as I can: who I was prior to this experience is both who I am now but then is also not who I am now. Obviously if I look in the mirror, I know I’m still the same person in a way, but then when I look in my mind I’m definitely not the same person, even if the memories of the past arise or even as I draft this podcast and have to conjure up the memories from a time long ago that no longer exists other than in my mind, I am not the same person that experienced this experience. . . Read the full article

Descent into the Eternal Hell that Exists Now Is Hell a place one goes to after death or is it something here, now, all around us? This was a question I’d never once asked myself truly until I dabbled with a new drug that uncorked my mind into a hellscape of subliminal desecration. Whether a physical place or not in some afterlife matters not for it most definitely exists within the mind and the experience of and within the mind. This was the experience that opened my eyes to the dangers of mental manipulation and subliminal conditioning. I’d had a sense of such things over the course of the previous year and half but I’d fought to ignore the premonitions and sights I’d seen leading up to this Descent into the Hell of the mind. This was the experience that unveiled the Mysteries of mysticism. Probably at too young an age but it is what it is. “Abandon every hope, all you who enter,” said the poet Dante upon entering into Hell in The Divine Comedy. The path is long and hard to exit such a state of mind as I fell into but it is possible. Journey with me and I will show you the steps I was led upon and perhaps it can help you to decipher the signs all around you as well. Timestamps: - Quick overview of Season 1 and what to expect in Season 2 (00:58) - Start of the Descent into Hell episode and reflection on the mystical experience (04:58) - Attempt at grounding the mystical experience that occurred over twenty years ago more precisely (08:02) - Recalling the precursor night of heavy marijuana use a week before the Near-Death Experience (09:21) - Video games and The Doors and the mind visualizing pain (11:22) - First time thoughts of Death entered into my mind (12:43) - Theorizing if this precursor night of contemplating death may have attracted the Near-Death Experience a week later in a Law of Attraction type of manner (14:29) - The Descent into Hell via a new drug used (15:23) - Witnessing the subliminal effects of influence as it occurs within the mind (16:39) - The experience of the subliminal effects of external influences given by a few examples (17:54) - Entering into the Nightclub of Hell (22:20) - The Dead are Living and the Living are Dead (23:59) - “You ain’t gotta be in jail to be doing time,” (25:24) - Comparing what I saw to what has been seen in other psychedelic experiences (27:00) - Sexuality temporarily tossed into disarray from the temporary reading of minds (27:45) - The Eternal Hell that exists Now (30:36) Time skipping to receiving a call outside of the nightclub (32:24) - Theory of what is potentially seen in these types of horror hell experiences (33:49) Read the full article

Death. Is there a single concept and reality across the entire face of the human family that doesn’t evoke the exact same fear, dread, wonder, skepticism and hope regardless of nationality, race, creed, gender or social status? Just think. In a hundred twenty years, everyone alive today will be dead unless the prolongment of life occurs in some way. We will all be fertilizer for the next generations of human beings upon this planet. There is no escape. There is no amount of money, influence, fame, groveling or power that can prevent death from occurring. What’s the saying? Two things are certain: death and taxes. And then what comes after Death? Nothing? Judgment? Reincarnation? Heaven? Hell? It was to answer this question, this fear, this hope about the inescapable Death that the Mysteries across all time were created and delivered to any man or woman that would undergo the various initiations. Not so much to answer definitively for all, but to answer specifically for each that sought to understand the Mysteries and Death and the Beyond. There have been many hellish death experiences spoken of in the various religions and myths throughout history. Many trips to the underworld, many returns from the Land of the Dead and the tale of the journey in and most importantly, the journey out. These episodes will contain my own tale of entering into Death and Hell. Though I’m sure it must’ve felt as if the first Season was a giant maze of words as my mind blurted out what it knows of the mystical experience and the study of the Mysteries, this Season will begin with the nexus point of my own beginning of looking deep within the abyss of the Mystery after having fallen into the mystery of Hell and Death. This nexus point occurred with a near-death experience along with many very eye-opening experiences that led me to it. After thoroughly describing all that I’ve been able to remember about this near-death and mystical vision experience the remaining episodes will of course be the aftermath filled with learning, seeking, questioning, meditating, contemplating, rising, falling, blaspheming and repenting. These ten episodes will be much more straight forward due to the linear timeline that they follow and hopefully are easier to digest mentally versus the ten episodes of Season 1. And if there was a lack of understanding of my own person expressed in Season 1, hopefully after Season 2 you will know me much better as I divulge the personal goods. To those that listen and continue to choose to listen to my podcast and the spiritual experiences I’ve had my hope is that in hearing my path you will be able to decipher the spiritual truths or realities that are all around and within you on your own path as you journey through the labyrinth of the mind and soul in search of the Narrow Path within. Join me in Season 2 of the Logos of Experience and Truth Podcast where I journey into Hell and to Death. Until next Time. Read the full article

Seeing Hell and Near-Death Experience What happens within our mind if we start to see Death around the corner? Does the change in thought alter the mind and the perceptions of what is seen inside and outside? This question is what began my journey into the Mysteries twenty years ago along with what is called the Near-Death Experience that followed. Season 2 follows a more or less chronological order through ten episodes detailing my brush with death, what was seen within it, the interpretations that came afterwards and experiencing this great mystery up to my most recent mystical experience explained in the first episode of Season 1. If you’ve pondered of death, pondered if there is judgment or forgiveness at death and what such an experience looks like along with the changes that it can potentially enact within a person, then listen to Season 2 of the Logos of Experience and Truth Podcast and continue down the rabbit hole of the Mysteries. Timestamps: - On Death (00:32) - Seeking answers to the question of Death was the path (01:39) - This Season contains my experience of Death and Hell (02:48) - Further overview of the contents of the Season (03:02) - Hope of spiritual growth for the listener of my tales (03:49) - Invitation to listen to Season 2 (04:13) Read the full article