#objectsrelation

Contrary to Freud’s Psychoanalysis, which focused more on biological-based drives such as sex, Melanie Klein’s Object Relations theory of personality emphasized internal personal relationships and relatedness rather than sex. Specifically, it focuses on the interpersonal relationship between the infant and the nurturing mother. To further elaborate this theory, I provided my personal infant experience and related it to Klein’s concepts

Object, in the Object Relations context, is a person, a part of the person, or a thing in which an infant aims his/her drive to be satisfied. For instance, hunger drives look for breasts as the object while sex drives aim for sexual organs. According to this theory, our mother’s breast is the first thing we cling to and form a close relationship with, which dictates our future relationship with other individuals. Hence, it matters how the child interprets their mother's breast as “good” or “bad” breasts. This conflict that the infant faces of the dichotomy of the good and bad, forces them to organize their experiences into positions so that they can deal with the stress and anxiety of their internal and external world.

The first position is the Paranoid Schizoid, where the child controls the object of the drive. I remember my mother once told me that there are times where I sucked her breast aggressively during feeding, which made her mad. So instead of offering me her breast, she opted to use infant milk. In some days this would be the case, but my mom also told me that there are days where I was a good girl, gently and peacefully sucking her breast. This infant tendency, according to Klein, is feelings the infant feels towards the object of the drive. It is important to split the persecutory breast and the ideal breast and control only the ideal breast to retain love, comfort, and gratification. This control is what paranoid-schizoid means, where the infant organizes experiences into a good or bad one.

The second position is the depressive position. During this time, the infant fears losing her mother and is guilty of his/her previous desire of destroying her. I remember there was a point in my life where I was overly protective of my mother. I'm not too fond of it when men talks to her. I hate it when she’s working. And I hate it when she leaves the house without telling me, which will bawl my eyes out. On the other hand, I feel guilty for causing her pain. Klein stated that children feel depressed for failing to protect their mothers, and I can say that I agree to this. It is crucial then to resolve this depressive position to gain back trust with our mothers and to develop empathy in interpersonal relationships.