#nyotaxreader

The collision had knocked both of you to the ground, and the wind had escaped your lungs as you landed flat on your back so you sure as hell weren't prepared for a very stern and demanding voice, and the sound of a phaser being charged up. 

"Stand down.  Put your hands on your head and move slowly." The voice was slightly out of breath but none the less undeniably familiar. 

Your suspicions were confirmed when she began to repeat her commands in different languages.  Rolling to your side slowly, you followed her commands but needed the help of your walking stick to stand, using it as leverage.  Just as she was about to approach you, your walking stick slipped out from underneath your sweaty hand, making you lurched forward unsteadily, and you rammed into her again.  

Without a second's notice she grappled you into a hold with your chest down, face grinding into the dirt, and hands pinned behind your back.  You could feel the hard metal of the phaser pointing between your shoulder blades. 

"Ny." You croaked, barely audible. 

"Stand down." The order was shouted into your ear. 

"Nyota." You finally got the word passed your lips. 

"I... excuse me?" 

"Nyota.  It's me." You could taste the dusty ground as you tried to speak. 

"What?" Her grip loosened on you a little and her hand that grasped the phaser came around and tugged your scarf down, "Y/N?" 

"Hi." You wheezed. 

In another quick flurry of movement she was off you and pulling you to stand.  

Finally able to breathe, you sucked in air as you pulled the scarf away from your face and tugged the hat off your head.  

Looking up slowly, as you still weren't completely convinced she wasn't going to deck you right then and there, you finally took in the woman before you. 

Dark hair pulled back into a high ponytail, a lot longer than you remember.  A dark utility jacket almost covered the red of an engineering dress that peeked out over dark leggings and ankle boots.  Your gaze finally settled on her face, and you saw a myriad of emotions there, none of which you could name because they kept switching every second.  But god was she still beautiful. Her soft, dark skin, that impossible set to her chin and mouth and those eyes. Those eyes that always gave away what she was feeling no matter how hard she tried to hide it.  That's where she held all her emotion.  Even now. 

"Y/N?" Your name on her lips was music to your ears. 

"Hi." You repeated. 

Then, in two strides, she was over to you, grabbing onto the collar of your leather jacket and kissing you like it was the most important thing in the world. It took you a second, but then you were kissing her back just as desperately, the feeling of missing her that you had pushed away for so long washing over you again and leaving you breathless.  Or maybe that was just the kiss.  

You barely got to bring your arms around her when she pushed you away, more like shoved, and you stumbled back, barely keeping your balance and you leaned heavily on your walking stick.  

"You're supposed to be dead." She spat, and you had to focus hard to dispel your swirling thoughts after that kiss. 

"Wha-?" 

And the last thing you remember is the look of absolute fury on her face before an sharp pain across your cheekbone and the world going black. 

"Hey there.  Rise and shine.  Yep, that's it, welcome back." An unfamiliar voice spoke and brought you back achingly into the real world.  

The overhead lights were blinding, so you focused on the dark form that loomed over you which blocked some of the lights. 

“I’m Dr. McCoy, and you’ve been brought aboard the Enterprise.  You’re in the medbay at the moment.” The dark-haired man seemed to be constantly scanning the data on the screen above your head as well as up and down your body. 

"What happened?" Your mouth was dry and your words were sticky. 

"You somehow have seemed to infer the wrath of Lieutenant Uhura." His voice and glare was sarcastic and amused. 

Uhura.  Nyota. Your mind found it's way back to her and you slowly recalled what had happened before you ended up in a hospital bed with a ginormous headache. 

"She knocked me out."

"That she did." He tucked his PADD under his arm, "And she dragged your ass back here.  With the way she was fuming I'm surprised she didn't leave you back there."

"Guess I'm pretty lucky, then." You shrugged, but his eyes remained hooded. 

"Not as lucky as you might think." He turned to you, "Did you know you suffer from an untreated spiral femur fracture on your right leg?  It looks like it happened a few years ago and has healed naturally.  A fracture like that is enough to incapacitate someone, maybe even kill them if it shifts and nicks an artery."

You took a shaky breath, "Y-yeah.  That must have been what happened after my crash.  I got my leg pinned under a control panel and it seemed to take forever to heal.  And now I've got this lovely little limp."

"We can fix it, if you'd like.  It would involve extensive surgery to re-break the fracture and bone regeneration to heal it again, but we can probably getcha back to full function."

You considered it for a moment, "That might not be a bad idea, but maybe not right away, I think I need to face a certain angry old friend first."

"We were more than friends, you idiot." The voice sounded by the door and you looked over to see Nyota, her face set and stern, but here eyes held an insurmountable amount of sadness and betrayal, "Or did I mean so little to you that you forgot about all of that when everyone thought you were dead."

There were several tense, silent moments as Dr. McCoy looked between you and Nyota, before grabbing his supplies and ducking his head, exiting with a quick, "let me know if you need anything." before rushing out the door.   

Finally you and Nyota were alone.  

You would have just continued to stare at her if it were not for something that she had said, "You thought I was dead?"

"Everyone did."

The words hung in the air.  

People thought you were dead? 

You shook your head, "No way, didn't people come to search for me?  To confirm that I wasn't left stranded out there, like I was?"

Nyota stepped towards your bed, her hands clasped tightly in front of her, "The search party said there was no life forms detected on the planet surface.  That the only thing out of place was your crashed ship, which they didn't even deem worth retrieving since it was so destroyed."

You were speechless. Your mouth opened and closed, no response making its way out of you. 

"So no one looked for me?" Tears pressed at the back of your eyes, your thoughts raw and desperate, "No one even thought to send someone down to do a manual check?"

She shook her head, stepping closer so now she was next to the bed. 

"I was down there.  Oh god.  I was trapped in the ship for days, Nyota, before I got out.  I was in so much pain.  There was so much... My leg... They should have come down and seen... I was there." Panic laced through your veins and you drew your fingers through your hair before resting them shakily on the bed. 

Nyota moved to sit in the chair next to the bed and she reached a hand out to place it over yours.  The touch grounded you and you curled your fingers around hers, gasping for air. 

You gulped before bringing your eyes over to hers, "You thought I was dead?"

She nodded, her gaze firmly focused on your connected hands, "Yeah.  I did."

"Oh my god." You squeezed her fingertips a bit and she squeezed your hand in response. 

An eternity seemed to pass before either of you moved or spoke, both processing the implication of your current situation.  Together again. Impossibly.  Inconceivably.  Helplessly. 

"I love you, Ny.  I never stopped." You whispered, wanting her to look at you.  Begging her to look at you. 

"Sometimes that's all that would keep me going out there.  The thought of you, of what we had, of your..."

"Stop." She pulled her hand from on top of yours. 

"Wha-?"

"I'm in a relationship." It was a statement, a fact, and it buried into you like a blade. 

"You are?" Your voice was hoarse. 

She nodded, still not meeting your eyes as she leaned back in the chair. 

"That's... Well that makes sense, thinking I was dead and all." You sat up, leaning your weight on your hands, "But you kissed me.  Back there.  You kissed me.  Isn't that against relationship rules or something?"

She was looking up at the wall, tilting her head back and you knew she was trying not to cry, "I don't know why I did that."

"Ny, look at me."

She dropped her gaze to the floor. 

"Ny, please..."

Finally her dark eyes met yours, sparkling with the tears perched on her lids. 

"This is a lot of information right now.  And we sure as hell don't have to make any big decisions or anything.  But I think we both need to walk away for a bit and do some thinking."

She stared at you, a tear slipping down her cheek before she nodded.  The chair scraped against the floor as she pushed back and turned towards the door. 

"Just one more thing, Ny." You called and she looked over her shoulder at you, "I loved you.  So much.  And seeing you again brought all those feelings back.  But I also know you loved me too.  Or at least that's what you said before I... died.  Just remember that, 'kay?"

She paused a moment before her shoulders dropped a millimeter and she turned, the door hissing shut behind her.  

And the only thing that had been familiar to you was gone. 

-Thanks for reading!  I hope you liked it!-