#nydiary

I'm going to start using the hashtag "nydiary" to tag the writing I do to calm down when things get low (and perhaps when they're better, too). I'll try to do trigger tags too. I have been fighting depression for so long. I may lose battles but I am winning the war. I will not let it beat me. I will not go back on meds, either.

Feeling better than last night. Maybe this most recent relapse is just because last week was a terrible week (aside from the concert). I was just so stressed out over a number of things- paying fines for lost music, not mis-counting in the performance (I ended up mis-counting anyway, but I think I covered myself pretty well and I doubt most people would notice), my bi-monthly resurfacing of guilt over what happened in September, all little things that were slowly beginning to shake me. Yesterday I felt so helpless. I felt like I did back at my lowest point in depression and that terrified me. I still don't want to go back to therapy yet. I can get control over this again. The first week back was amazing, and only began to go downhill on Monday of the second week. I need to be eating better again and sticking back to schedule. Writing here helps.

Doce infância #ny #nydiary #children #infant #carrousel #fun #iloveit (at Central Park Carousel)

Governer's Ball Day 3: Vampire Weekend ✌️ #GovBall #VampireWeekend #Yassss #EzraMarryMe #NYC #NYDiary

Yasss, mama! Slayyyyyy! #Grimes #GovBall #NYC #NYDiary #TonyTakesOverNY