#nuri

I bow my head. "How are you, old friend?"

Vlad shrugs. "Had a long night. Care for a smoke?"

"Ay, you know Cygnus won't come near me for a week if I do," I tease. "Can't stand the smell. But—" I fish around my coat pocket and pull out a candy sword. "Care for a bite?" I ask, letting the toothpick hilt dangle between my talons.

Vlad's lip twitches, and he takes the sweet. "Thank you. New recipe?"

"Old favorite," I correct, tucking another one between my teeth. "Cygnus thought it'd help me quit."

"Did it?"

I shrug. "It helps to have something to suck on when I'm stressed."

Vlad grunts in acknowledgement and takes the candy under his tongue. "You been stressed a lot lately?"

I cast my eyes to my worn boots. "You know the queen," I reply softly, reaching up to fiddle with my hearing cuffs. The organism is warm and melts into the shell of my ear.

Vlad doesn't reply for a minute. He doesn't have to. Ever since our beloved dictator began her rule in Colar, non-elves and those who didn't follow the Old Way have been at increased risk of violence and discrimination. Some of her especially vocal protesters advocate for moving to the nearby kingdom of Dolast, but for those of us at the heart of the kingdom with almost no money for travel, that isn't an option.

"I'm sorry, man. I get it, I—" he's cut off by a shriek from inside The Dovecote. We both glance at each other before sprinting through the door to meet the noise.

"You bastard!" someone slurs from the corner. "How dare you!"

My head swivels to see an elf— upper-class female judging by the bright red of her dress and the way her hair is twisted against her scalp— red-faced and brandishing a pipa at a server in the low light of the tavern.

The server, a dwarf known as Halvi, holds one arm up in defense with the other over their pouch of tranquilizers.

"You are drunk! Please, I've asked you nicely to leave!"

"Am not!" She retorts, stepping closer to Halvi. This earns her a face full of Blue Petal. The drawf's blend of charmed herbs clouds around the elf's head until she's swaying and lowering her instrument. Halvi catches her before she falls, looking up at Vlad and I, their colleagues and friends, in question.

Vlad clicks his tongue, glancing down at me. "Can you handle this one?" he asks. "You were always better with the more belligerent ones."

I nod, coming over to Halvi with open arms.

"Truth and Choice be with you," Halvi mutters, gently draping the girl's soft arm over my shoulder. She reeks of beer and some sort of cloyingly sweet perfume that makes me cough.

"Do we know her name?" I ask after the air I've been fighting for finally enters my lungs.

Halvi shrugs. "Said she goes by 'Redbird' when she's on stage. Her shawl has the Kilinas coat of arms, so I'm guessing she's from up north."

I nod, adjusting my grip on her ribs."Ok, I can work with that." I turn to Redbird now. "Where are you staying?"

"Why you asking, cutie?" She smirks. "Want to make it your business?"

Oh my gods. "I'm just trying to get you home," I explain gently.

The woman giggles. "Ok, then, but you'll —" she hiccups. "You'll have a hard time getting in the door." She leans close to my ear, and I nearly gag when her perfume flies up my nose. "You planning on taking me up to the mountains with those fantastic wings of yours?"

She gropes at my wings, tucked against my shoulder blades, and I fight not to shake her off. Gods, I wish I was home with Cygnus. "Maybe not tonight. Where are you staying tonight?" I press through gritted teeth.

"Wherever you are," she giggles, still tugging.

"Well, what about your hostel room?" I ask. Maybe I can just get her to leave with me, then ditch her at her place.

"Silly thing!" She cries, suddenly enthusiastic. "I don't have one! I'm just staying wherever the spirits take me." She wiggles her fingers and moves her hands around, presumably to mimic spirits.

I stifle a groan. Nowhere near The Dovecote will put her up this late, so I'm bound by the rules of hospitality to invite her to my home. Feigning enthusiasm, I relay this to her. "Ok. Well, the spirits are taking you to a place of chastity and tranquility, it would seem. I can put you up for the night, and help you find somewhere to go in the morning, all right?"

She frowns. "Chastity? Do we have to?"

"If you want a place to stay, yes."

She seems to think this over for a moment, finally nodding. "All right. Lead the way, pretty boy." She points to the door, but I lead her over to her seat to pick up her bag and pipa. "Ooh! You want me to play a song!" She asks, grabbing for the strings like an infant might grab for a shiny trinket.

"No, it's all right," I pull the straps on her bag over her shoulders, trying to hinder any attempts to serenade. "Hey, why don't you tell me what brought you to The Dovecote?" I encourage. Maybe if she starts talking, she'll be less touchy.

"Oh! Yes, let me tell you the story!" Redbird clears her throat, and starts waving her arms around again. "My parents told me I could do anything I wanted to find myself after I came of age, so I decided to tour Colar for a year! It's a little ugly, and the people are dull, but that's ok. Plenty of ears for me to bless with my songs!"

"Oh?" I try to keep the irritation from my voice. "And what do you sing?"

"Oh, the Five Mothers hymns, a few originals, and whatever I can learn from the locals." She frowns. "Well, mostly."

"Five Mothers hymns?" I ask, tugging her into the alleyway leading home.

"Yes. Kilinasi usually teach their kids to sing these for festivals, temple days, and other fancy events."

I hum in acknowledgement, wishing I could bring myself to care more, but this has been a long day. I bring her up to the door, unlocking it with a spell barely flicked from my fingertips. Pulling her into the entryway, I see Cygnus cradling Xio to his chest, feeding him what I assume is his last bottle of the night.

"Hey, loveliest" I whisper. "We have a guest tonight. This is Redbird." I gesture to the elf, then turn to her. "Redbird, this is my husband and our son, Cygnus and Xio."

Cygnus smiles softly nods politely. "Nice to meet you," he whispers.

Redbird nods back, suddenly timid. "Hi."

"Come on," I urge her softly. "Let's get you settled in for the night."

After putting a now surprisingly cooperative drunk to bed in the tiny spare room, I join Cygnus upstairs. He's just put Xio to sleep in the bassinet near our sleeping mat.

"Any trouble tonight?" I sign from the door in Colari Sign Language.

"None," he assures me, grinning. "Xio seems to be getting used to the new place nicely." He joins me in the hall. "So, what brings Mx. Redbird to our humble abode?"

"Blame Vlad. He asked me to get her home, which is all the way up in Kilinas." I sigh, leaning on the door. "She's on some sort of running around period, away from parents and ready to fetishize whatever winged things cross her path."

"Fun to wrangle, I imagine," My husband supplies with a sympathetic furrow if the brow. "I'm sorry. I was wondering why your wings were so ruffled." He walks over to my side. "Want me to preen them?"

I look over toward the bassinet, and Xio seems all right for now. I turn back to Cygnus and nod, letting him grab my hand and lead me to the adjoining washroom. He taps the Hydro charm beside the tub, letting it fill up while we undress. The usual sensuality from the ritual is absent due to our shared fatigue, but it's still amazing to be able to be with my husband again after a long day.

"Want me to kiss you before you get all soapy?" He asks teasingly, aloud now that we're away from the sleeping infant.

"Yes, please," I reply softly with a half smile.

He smiles, tossing a handful of Soap Burst flakes into the tub before cupping my face in his hands and kissing all over my face. The cinnamon on his breath immediately pulls the tension from my shoulders, and I bring my hands to his waist. When he comes to my lips, my enthusiasm causes our teeth to knock together. We giggle into each other's mouths for a bit before the Hydro charm vibrates and sprays cool blue light over us and the walls. We break apart, grinning like fools.

"Aw, bath time already?" I ask jokingly, already moving to unhook my hearing cuffs.

He nods, grabbing me by my hips and helping me over the side of the tub. "In you go," he says, mostly to himself. He straddles the ledge for a second, taking my hearing cuffs when I hand them to him and putting them on the counter. He slips in behind me with a few colorful cubes of Soap Burst. A blue one for my hair, a purple one for my wings, and two pink ones for my body are set atop the wall shelf beside us.

"Hair first," I command before he asks.

He chuckles. "Yes, my light." He plucks up the blue cube and dips it into the water before massaging the crushed Soap Burst into my scalp. Since I shaved my head a few days ago, there isn't much to wash, but he still dutifully kneads until I'm melting into his touch.

He gently prods the space between my wings, signaling for me to turn and expose the side of my wing. I do so reluctantly. Hugging my knees to my chest, I ready myself for his calloused skin to meet the sore muscles under my feathers. I actually have to steady my breathing when he starts scrubbing, and he stops almost immediately. I think he said something, but I have to turn to him fully to read his lips and piece the message together with the noise I can hear.

"Too much?" he repeats worriedly.

I shake my head. "It's just tender," I manage to sign. "I'll be ok. Just keep going."

"You're sure?" His hand creeps up to my shoulder.

I nod, placing my hand over his. He continues with his ministrations, slowing down whenever my breathing catches. He rakes his claws through my wings, and the gentle scrape is pleasantly energizing in the way that pain tends to be. After he does the other side, he holds out the last pink Soap Burst and he asks in CSL. "You or me?"

"You."

Cygnus grunts in acknowledgement, squishing the cleanser between his fingers and massaging the space between my wings. I almost groan because it feels so good, but I hold myself back. He soaps up the rest of my back, then turns me by my hips so he can get the front.

He reaches behind me for the rinsing cup with a hydro charm carved into the side, and I lean on his shoulder while he rinses the soap from my body. By the time he finishes and drains the tub, I feel like a new person, ready to fall asleep. I feel his chuckle ghost over my shoulder before he taps my side thrice to signal for me to look up.

"You know, this is the second time today that I've bathed. First with Xio, then you."

I give him a small smile and nod, barely signing, "Yeah?"

He nods and squeezes my side gently. "I love you both so much." He presses the sign into my chest, and I melt.

I kiss his shoulder and mutter the same sentiment into his shoulder. He lets me rest there for a bit before nudging me away from a too-close nap and lifting me from the tub. He sets me down gently on the Aching Bench (affectionately named because it's where I sit to sponge bathe when the pain gets to be too much) and grabs some towels. He helps me dry off before handing me a loose cotton tunic, trousers, and underwear. We dress in near silence, and he leads me back to our sleeping mat to be held before falling into a dead slumber.

Sometime before sunrise, I wake to see Cygnus chestfeeding Xio, with his sheer kaftan falling off his shoulders and pooling around his elbows. He looks over at me stirring, and he smiles.

"Good morning, my loves," I sign groggily, propping myself up on my elbow to sign in the full moonlight.

My spouse nods in acknowledgement, hands a little too occupied to sign much. I sit up and scoot over to his side, not touching him yet. "Would it be overstimulating if I leaned on you right now?" I sign.

He nods, giving a pained smile.

"Is it too hot?"

He nods again.

"Want me to open the window and let in a breeze?"

At his affirmation, I get up, unlatch the windows, and push them open. I grab two cups from the windowsill and lean forward to remove the cover from the stone basin under it. I tap the hydro charm on the spout twice and fill our cups, bringing them back inside and setting them down beside the sleeping mat for later.

I stay up with Cygnus for a bit, taking Xio when he's done eating. Cygnus gets up and leans out the window before walking back over. I furrow my brows and tilt my head toward the window.

"You left the water on," he explains. "I turned it off."

"Oh," I mouth. I nod gratefully. Cygnus nods and grabs his water, sipping while I burp Xio. I rock him for a bit, letting him fall asleep while Cygnus mentally collects himself and recovers from chestfeeding. He loves being able to do it, but it can be a lot with his sensory issues. He's gotten better at coping since he's gotten help from a therapist, though, for which I am eternally grateful.

After putting Xio back in the bassinet, Cygnus crawls on top of me and lets me hold him while tracing shapes into his side. We stay like that for a bit until he's breathing deeply and slowly, with the horns curled atop his head pressing into my cheek, and suddenly it's morning.

The lights in the ceiling are flashing in Vlad's pattern. I groan softly, gently moving Cygnus off of me. I roll off the mat and pad down the hall to meet my friend.

"What's up?" I sign at the door.

"I came to pick up the troublemaker from last night," he replies with a smile. "Called around and got a friend down South to take her in for a few days."

I raise my eyebrows. "How quick. Thank you. Redbird is in the guest room, but you can come in while I grab her."

Vlad follows me into the house, pulling a pink pouch from the breast pocket of his work shirt and slipping it into the shallow pan on the kitchen counter. "For Cygnus' nausea," he signs, pointing to the pouch. "The smell is supposed to help."

I nod and smile gratefully before leaving Vlad in the kitchen and slipping into the bedroom to grab my hearing cuffs. I clip them onto my ears simultaneously, shivering as they slink into my head. I have to breathe through my nose for a minute to adjust to the settling organism and the sounds it brings before I can go knock on the guestroom door.

"Redbird, can I come in?" I call.

"Um, sure?" she returns.

I slide the accordion-fold door open, and it seems like our guest is still letting it sink in that she woke up in a strange place. She looks around the spartan room, down at my sleepwear her body, and back a few times before her eyes settle on me. The same eyes grow to the size of saucers when she sees my wings.

"I remember now!" She blurts. "You're the pretty boy from the tavern, right?"

I frown before I can catch myself. " My name is Nuri, actually."

"Oh. Ok," she replies awkwardly. "Um, Nuri, what happened last night?"

I don't say, "you were a dick to my work family," because I have to try being a little diplomatic.

"Well, you got wasted, started arguing with a tavern worker, and had to be escorted out by me," I tick the list off on my fingers. "Here in Colar, the rules of hospitality say that I should treat a traveler as family and put you up, so I did."

"Thank you," she says, fiddling with the cuffs of my sleep shirt and looking down at her lap.

"Of course. My friend Vlad is actually here to take you down south for a new place to stay, so you'll need to gather your bag and instrument," I point to the spot by her pillow where the items lay. "I'll try to make some breakfast for you two before you go. Sounds good?"

She starts to nod, but stops. "Um... I don't eat meat," she says slowly. " Will that be a problem?"

I shake my head. "No, that's fine. Does flat bread and fruit sound ok?"

"Yes. Thank you." She grimaces. "And I'm sorry for last night."

I hesitate. "Look, I won't say it's fine that you grabbed my wings and yelled at my friends. It's not." My voice is cool, and I lean on the doorframe. " I'm sure you know by now that treating others like you wish to be treated is a really basic way of showing respect for them. If you don't want to be grabbed and yelled at, don't grab and yell at others. Ask for consent before touching people." I flare my wings for emphasis. "Is this understood?"

Redbird is cowed. She probably doesn't get corrected this often at home, but I won't just let her think this behavior is ok and will be tolerated here. I refuse to apologize for calling her out. She finally nods.

"Good. The food should be ready soon, so join us at the table when you're ready." I turn, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

In the kitchen, Vlad has already started cutting some figs and tossing them into a pan to cook with chickpeas in a zesty lemon sauce. I feel my shoulders relax at the familiar sight, struck by how much I adore seeing my friend do that. It's so easy to forget that we're a couple of adults who started a worker's co-op and community tavern. In the kitchen we grew up in , we're just a couple of kids finding ways to stretch food scraps into meals our families could eat.

I fall into step alongside him, unwrapping the almost stale flatbread and then flexing my fingers ten times. I'll stretch the rest of my body later, after I've tended to our guest's departure. In the meantime, I'll tear the rounds into strips, toss them into the pan, and enjoy the sweet scent that rises.

Vlad brings the meal over to the dining nook and sets it down on the round table. Vlad and I cup our hands and press them to our foreheads, acknowledging and respecting the spirits and other components that brought this meal together. Redbird looks between us when she walks in, not touching her plate until Vlad nudges her silverware toward her.

We eat the meal quietly, and soon Cygnus joins us with Xio on his shoulder. Redbird looks at Xio, clearly confused. Maybe because she didn't get a good enough look at him last night to notice his lilac skin and pale horns are where his resemblance to my husband stops. With his fangs, thick cyan curls, and flat nose, Xio isn't exactly a mirror image of me, either.

"Is something the matter?" Cygnus asks gently, as if he's talking to a child.

Redbird hesitates. "No, sorry. I was just wondering... Does your baby's mom live here, too?"

Cygnus chuckles, glancing at me before replying. "He doesn't have a mom. Just me and Nuri."

Redbird frowns. "Did he have a mom, though? Before you and Nuri got married?"

Vlad looks between us uncertainly. "Mx. Redbird, they might not want to answer that."

I put down my fork, turning to my husband with a quirked brow. "Do you?" I ask him softly. It's more his story to tell than mine.

Cygnus smiles at me in what seems to be an attempt at reassurance, but comes off more melancholy. "That should be fine." He turns to Redbird. "If you're trying to ask if Xio is biologically related to Nuri, then no. We were married long before Xio came along."

Redbird doesn't look satisfied. "But how could you have him if he doesn't have a mother?"

Cygnus holds up a hand. " Let me finish, please. I was a surrogate for my late friend, Lilith." He takes a steadying breath as Redbird looks on in confusion. To be fair, she probably hasn't had to interact with many trans surrogates in Kilinas. "She died not long after we figured out I was pregnant with Xio. Her partner River couldn't —." Cygnus' voice breaks off, and he takes a second to reach for my hand.

I present it to him immediately. "You don't have to." I remind him.

Cygnus shakes his head, tears shining in his eyes as he takes my hand. "I can do it."

I don't question him, and he continues after a few seconds of rapid blinking.

"We originally planned to raise him as a group, the four of us, but after Lilith died, River sensed that he wouldn't be long in following her to join the ancestors. He trusted us to raise Xio." He clears his throat. "So that's what we do."

Redbird looks again at Xio, stirring from his sleep. Her expression is almost scrutinizing, as if she's trying to see all of that history displayed on the miniscule canvas that is his body. "Does it ever get hard?" she asks softly, almost reverently.

"It does," Cygnus admits, moving Xio onto his other shoulder. "But I find the struggle is made up for every time I get to see him smile."

Redbird nods slowly. For a second, I think she might ask more questions, but Vlad interrupts by clearing his throat. "I think we should get going," he says. "We have a long walk ahead of us."

Redbird acquiesces, getting up from the table with Vlad and bowing to Cygnus and I. "Thank you for letting me stay," she says. "May kind spirits remain with you."

"And let them travel with you," Cygnus says. I nod my agreement, and the elf and orc leave together.

I clean up from breakfast while Cygnus feeds Xio from a bottle. The domesticity in the action is not lost on me, and I smile when I think about me from ten years ago seeing theirself now. They didn't even know they were queer yet, let alone willing to start a family with their polycule in the heart of a hostile nation.

This life is so much of a struggle, but when I see my friends gathering in crowded, underground taverns, laughing and dancing and loving, I think I can remember that it gets better. "Hope is easy to find among the gods' bastard children." I don't think I've ever felt the sentiment of that poem more than I have in the past year.

"Hey," Cygnus says, smiling cheekily. "You have your thinking face on. What's up?"

"It's nothing," I say softly, quirking my lip up. "I'm just glad to be here with you."