#nueul

(by sumia)

0 - Zero.

And yet, even so, I—

—I still dragged my blood-soaked body like a ragged mop. Whose blood was it? Mine? Someone else’s? I couldn’t remember. One thing was certain: I had wrecked myself to the point where dying now wouldn’t even be surprising.

My consciousness felt like it might shatter at any moment, but I clung to it with a fading will. I had come this far. And since I made it this far, I had to see it through. My legs, too damaged to even crawl properly, left a pathetic trail of smeared red footprints on the carpet.

And there you were—aiming a gun at me. You, the very reason I lived. Your face was shrouded in backlight from the moonlight seeping through the window behind you, but I could see your hands trembling.

"Why... Just why..."

That voice is thick with resentment. Or was it betrayal? Sadness? It was getting harder to tell. I was nearing my limit too. Honestly, it's a miracle I made it this far. Darkness crept into my vision, heralding the end. I wished I could see your face more clearly, but it was fine. Even if I wanted to see you—what did it matter now?

"...I won't comment, ■■."

I laughed. The chilling clink of metal parts interlocking cut through the darkness of the room. The unmistakable click of a bullet being loaded. Soon, that bullet would pierce my skull. That sharp crack would be the final declaration of my end.

"Just one last thing..."

Even in this darkness pierced only by crimson moonlight, I managed to speak.

Please, just...

Don’t forgive me.

A faint click echoed in the dark.

0.5 seconds passed.

Silence.

And that was my end.

---

「 ...I have to get out of here...」

A figure who looks like a boy stands motionless in what must be their room, murmuring to themself. Their voice was oddly certain, almost suspiciously so. Their clothing—a white shirt with a dark overcoat—meets this cult’s dress code, yet, there was no sign that they felt at home in this place. The room contains only a bandage-littered bed, the sharp scent of disinfectant hanging around a medicine cabinet, a desk and chair, and a lone clock on the wall (which didn’t even work). Even the few personal items scattered on the furniture are sparse.

They swallowed their usual dose of medication without a sip of water. The bitter taste sliding down their throat was familiar. Then, they planted both hands on the desk and lowered their head. Scattered haphazardly beneath their hands were scraps of paper. Something had been scribbled on them—hastily scrawled in an almost illegible hand. Every movement smudged graphite across their skin. They didn’t bother brushing it off, just stared at it in frustration. Beneath their disheveled hair, their shadowed face held only irritation, unease, and an inexplicable longing. A complete mess.

「I have to get out... I have to get out... I have to get out.」

They combed through their memories, trying to recall why they had to escape. Right—this place is insane. There’s nothing normal here—everyone’s crazy. How did they even end up in a place like this? Kidnapped? Whatever the reason, if they stayed here any longer, even the last scrap of their mind would rot away. They had to escape from these cult freaks and take back their life—that’s the conclusion they came to.

「No matter what it takes, I will get out. You think I can’t do it?」

...They kept repeating it—I will escape. At first, it was a whisper. Then it was gritted through clenched teeth. By the end, it was nearly a soliloquy. They crushed the paper beneath their palm into a tight ball. The pencil marks blurred and smudged. A tear of unknown origin slipped down their cheek and evaporated before it could fall—but after that, they remained dry. Utterly dry.

—The story of Cultist D’s escape from the cult, towards the beginning.

(*Original link: https://www.postype.com/@nueul-monodrama/post/15284528

There are pictures in the link, but I don't have permission to post pictures, so if you want to see them, click on the link.

*D is a tsundere, You cannot convince me otherwise

*Ai and D could be actually slightly close, Or at least slightly more casual to each other (I had to cut a whole ramble about it so apologies for being vague)

*If D and Aruell got along there could be a chance they could manage to actually escape the cult or defeat Lorica, who knows?

*Ciel has no fashion sense, (they have no food taste so fashion less likely)

*KissMe has likely flirted with every one in the church except Ai and Ciel

*There is a chance that Lorica has seen Parma and Ensis but she doesn’t regonize them because of how time has passed and that they look so different

*D probably has tried (weather they succeeded or not) to save some people from getting killed by the cult

*D might be the one with the most power (based on their skill) so Lorica values that but at the same time hates D’s rebellious nature (It’s like a love hate thing but it’s not really love or anything along those lines) <—— NOT CANNON, DISPROVEN

*D doesn’t get attached to anybody in the cult because they plan to escape and they don’t want to emotionally hurt somebody when they leave (if they manage to)

- When D was a nun, other nuns avoided them and gossiped about them because D got sick so easily

- D hates the sound of laughing

- D is very sensitive to temperature, they can easily get too hot or too cold

- KissMe talks to himself when he’s alone

- KissMe doesn’t need to eat because he is a modified human, but he loves the taste of spicy food  

- KissMe doesn’t understand the concept of most jokes but laughs whenever he hears a joke anyway

- Aruell scratches and pulls his fingers whenever he feels more stressed than usual

- Aruell usually distracts himself from having introspective thoughts by reading books 

- Aruell dislikes books that don’t have enough pages 

- Ciel isn’t a picky eater at all, aside from bugs and worms, they will eat literally any food 

- Ciel stalks random people for fun in their free time  

- Ciel likes the smell of trees 

- Didier dislikes bright colours  

- Didier spends most nights walking around outside the church, hoping to find the man who cared for her as a child  

- Didier likes milk

- Ai was programmed to have a fast walking speed

- Ai once slapped someone in the face 50 times when malfunctioning

- When Ai shuts down, they think a lot and question themselves constantly, but when they are switched back on they forget most of their thoughts like a dream

- Lorica hates seeing happy families, when she sees one it hurts her deep inside

- When Lorica was a child, she would play hide and seek in the palace with Ensis and Parma

- Lorica avoids wearing strong scented perfumes and making loud footsteps so it is harder for her presence to be sensed from a distance

I'd love to see Asha asking, "Mom, what would you do if I turned into a cockroach?" and Daphne being caught off guard by the sudden question.

Asha would be deeply contemplating all sorts of profound philosophical implications, calculating what kind of answer he’d get while being genuinely curious, and his mother will be completely dumbfounded, thinking, “How do I answer this on a kid’s level...?"

And it would be nice if she answered something like, "I don't really like cockroaches, but... i just want you to be happy no matter what you look like. So, I’ll make sure no one ever hurts you."

Then Asha, having learned those words... later looks at a mentally broken Aruell and says something like... "I love happy Aruell, sad Aruell—any Aruell, so I really hope you’ll be happy. I wish I could grow up a little faster so I could protect you." He comforts them... but to Aruell, those words must feel strangely bittersweet...

"No matter how Aruell lived in the past, the Aruell standing here now is the result of that life. You shouldn’t deny all those traces and end up hating yourself. That would be too painful. So embrace yourself, just as you are. Shall I be the first to hug you?"

Even though Asha doesn’t know everything Aruell has been through, he somehow manages to say the most penetrating words.

In many ways, Asha was a kid who really didn't fit in with the Victory Church. For a kid, he was too mature, warm-hearted, and had a relatively healthy way of thinking.

For Aruell, what must it feel like to face a cold machine with a completely different, immature personality that only imitates the outward appearance of the child he used to be like?

Although they might have complaints, they doesn’t reject the fake. After all, how could they be cold to someone with that child’s face?

Asha isn't perfect either... If he had a flaw... it’s his lack of emotional expression. (He feels emotions deeply, but his reactions are subdued.) He almost never laughed brightly or cried freely. He suppresses or refines almost all of his emotional expressions, so he seems indifferent to joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure. But fortunately, he has his own outlet (e.g. writing a diary).

Because he’s so smart, he dabbles in all sorts of knowledge, which often leads him to think... 'Humans are so foolish... Humans are just specks of dust in the universe... Humans are insignificant... Humans are so weak...' This frequently puts him into a melancholic vibe... Although he seems cheerful, he’s not actually a high-energy child.

That said, give him some snacks and the gloomy mode goes away for now.

(*Original link: https://x.com/Null_Hutsori/status/1645830144400175110

Heresy Trials

She says, “Among you, the one with the least sin will be spared". While saying so, she forces several suspected heretics into a chessboard-like arena and urges them to kill each other. Victory is a virtue, and defeat is a sin; if you want to prove your faith, then demonstrate that virtue with your own body.

Most of the time, people fight to avoid being the loser and end up turning the judgment platform into a bloody battlefield. If someone manages to survive, the cult leader smiles and says: "You have proven yourself well. You endured. I acknowledge your faith. You, I will meet you again without a single sin later".

And then dozens of black spears come flying. They pierce through the last remaining person. The cult leader then pours a red baptism over their blood-soaked head.

"Amen, My Victory."

Conclusion: All executed.

It's a bittersweet part when you think about where this ironically cruel method of execution originated.

(*Original link: https://x.com/Null_Hutsori/status/1601638648264683522