#nrrctr

his   glare   cuts   deep /  a   blade   piercing   your   skin /  pushing   hard   until   you   feel   your   last   breath .       we  are  the  next  generation  to  make  change .   our  parents             hell  our  grandparents  have  been  fucking  us  over  for  decades  beyond  our  time .  the  time  to  take  back  what  will  be  ours  is  now .   running  towards  an  end  that  is  too  far  down  the  tunnel  to  see .      out  of  view ,  blurred  vision .   your  demise .       )

❛     we’re  the  middle  children  of  history ,  man  .     ❜      (      you  exhale  a  large  cloud  of  smoke  in  his  direction .  allowing  it  to  consume  him  until  it  vanishes .  will  he  accept  our  view ?     )       ❛   no  place  or  purpose .     ❜

YOU WERE STARING UP AT THE CEILING.       your eyes were glassy and i thought of the   corpses   i’ve acquainted and made friends with over the years ;     they had a habit of mindless staring too.     but i could see you breathing and just like the dark,  living thing that used to waver behind my eyes,   i could see thoughts and dreams   sparkling   behind your eyes.     i’m glad that the blue of your eyes remind of the sky instead of the ocean.    otherwise,   i might have to   fear   you,   but i won’t tell you that.        “   i’m not going anywhere,   ”     i said instead.     the first wave of drowsiness had already gone away.     now,   the night seemed still and immortal.     we had turned out the lights,   but i could hear the humming of electricity in the walls and the soft skittering of mozz’s claws over the floors.

THIS WAS OUR DEFAULT.          your head rested on my lap,   your face turned away from the sun.     i’d offer you my pair of shades but you’d said you wanted to feel the warmth,   but the light was too disturbing.     and you were right ;     that day,   the sunlight had been   harsh   and haughty.     rays slanted over the pages of my paperback,   which i held up and open with one hand     -     the other softly pulling at the long locks of your hair by your hairline,   hoping to drag them over your closed eyes.     the pages were yellowed with age,   but the ink became emboldened in the bright light.     i sighed,   lowered the book,   and asked :       “  can you turn the page for me,   please?   ”        and you did.       “   ILL - FATED  AND  MYSTERIOUS  MAN,   ”        i read,   forgetting to lift my voice with the punctuation.       “   bewildered in the brilliancy of thine own imagination…   ”

I WAS A PAWN ONCE MORE.           darkness shrouded and ignorance became the preservative in which my brain was encased.     i reached up and briefly ran a hand through your hair,   my fingers caught in the knots that you’d worked into your hair earlier     -      with your   cyclic thoughts and mad pacing  .     but then you turned away quickly and my hand was left suspended in the air,    made chilly with sudden   absence  .     i could feel an   ache   bloom between my brows ;     hammer and nail against my forehead.       “   talk to me,   tyler.   ”       minds were fascinating things.     but he was more than fascination,    more than curiosity.       “   i want to know what’s wrong.   tyler,  i need to know what’s wrong or else i can’t help you.   ”        this time,   i caught your hand and when you stopped,   reality spun for another moment     -     momentum carrying away until energy snapped back like elastic.       “   talk to me.   ”

“   fuck off and pour another drink  “

so she glances over her shoulder ,  when she hears steps behind her.  only to see a very familiar face   (   it was probably the black and blue and the healing cuts on his face that gave him away.   )   it hurt to give a smirk ,  but she did so anyway as she turned around completely.   “   you look like shit ,   ”   ah  !   there’s that warm and LIVELY humor  !

@nrrctr

blind to much around herself,    it was only her mind’s eye that she could see with ;     and what awful images she had to endure.     buildings,   tall and proud,   reduced to rubble,   hidden away by clouds of heavy dust.     but the lights were so bright,   whirling atop emergency vehicles and shining behind media cameras.     and the details couldn’t escape so easily.     the gore,   the loss,   the sight of her heart with a massive hole blown through it.     blood still occasionally dripped from the slashes across her hands,   the corpse - things suffering when she had punched them against the television screen     -     over and over,   trying to get to tyler or to kill him twice,   she wasn’t sure.     the bones were broken,   certainly.     but it was nothing compared to what had collapsed at her centre :     a seal vacuum shattered,   a powerful  black - hole  introduced.     the vessel was more hollowed than ever.

when her body sunk into the forgotten and weed - ravaged garden behind his home,   the soil was happy for a new corpse,   hungry even.     but ultimately had to accept that there was still  something  alive in her.    something that still called and  whined  for trouble and turmoil.     nothing was finished yet ;     on the contrary,   a new game had just begun.

the void was thankful for the unnaturally warm autumnal weather,   lest its vessel decay from exposure.     no,   she would survive.     and she woke up a parched mouth and swollen eyes,   with a growling stomach and inflamed fingers.     but she could hear again at least,   hear something more than just her shrill screaming and the wail of sirens filtered poorly through old speakers.     to her right,   she could hear the shuffling of feet,   the squish of wet earth,   and a  soft sigh.     cradling her sore hands,   charlotte struggled upright,   failing twice and introducing more mud to her already filthy hair.     but the void’s pawn was nothing if not determined,   and sooner or later   (  it must have been the latter,   she was breathing so heavily by the end  )   she was on her own two feet once more.     and then,   she crept forwards to see around a large,   unkempt bush.   and then,   she was running.