#npccompetition

So it's almost been one month since I competed and I have had a lot of time to reflect on myself and what I learned from competing.

Regardless of how much people can tell you about show day, you won't really ever be prepared for it your first time. I was so exhausted the day of my show from lack of sleep (I only got 4 hours of sleep because nerves and spray tan), lack of water (which also made me insanely sore), and the emotions you go through. I knew that I looked awesome in my bikini but it was still a little nerve wrecking walking around back stage in it. I couldn't help but worry a lot that people were going to look at me and be like "psht she isn't lean enough". I did a lot of standing around before it was time for me to go on and I really regret that. It took a lot of energy out of me and next time I am going to be smarter and hangout in the audience before it's time for me to go on. I didn't sit for hours and it depleted what little energy I had left. I was worried that I was going to miss my stage time because nobody was going to come find me in the audience and tell me it was time to get lined up to get on stage. Now I know a little bit better how the shows work and next time I'll sit in the audience and pay attention to the program and whose on stage as an indication of when it'll be my time.

Definitely eating more next time the day of my show. I had two rice cakes and some almond butter at 7am and that was it. Me eating more than just that wouldn't have killed my show day body. It probably would have helped me keep my energy up a lot more for the stage. Also, coffee, I would have had coffee.

Next time I won't be paying $100 for someone to do my hair. I'll do it on my own. The lady who did my hair did a good job but I felt like it was supper ratty and looked greasy (which I know isn't her fault I couldn't shower the day of my competition). Next time I'll just straiten my own hair or maybe even just wand it. I appreciated that Aimee did my makeup but it's hard to not feel like a clown with all the blush and the eye shadow and the fake eye lashes. I don't wear a lot of makeup to begin with so having all of that on was hard to have confidence in myself with because I felt like I looked like Bobo the Clown.

Aimee is going to be my coach next time. If anyone is ever going back and forth on if they want to do online coaching or not DON'T DO IT! I really regret not using the trainers at my gym for support during prep because the online coach I had wasn't the greatest. She'd send me one sentence emails when I would go into great detail asking questions about peak week, water cutting, posing, and show day eating. If I hadn't had Aimee to give me the scoop on a lot of things (she taught me how to pose, how to pee with a spray tan, etc...). Right now her and I are reverse dieting and trying to put some muscle on me because...

I'm doing figure next time! I don't think bikini suites me very well. I'm not sassy, I'm not flirty, I'm not girly. I'm pretty much a huge tom boy. Not saying that you don't have to be girly to be in figure but I don't have to have the cute girl routine on stage. I like the poses better, I like that I can have muscle, and I think I'm going to like the training better. Heavier weights, less cardio, more food. Who wouldn't love that??? For bikini I had a messed up diet, I finished with doing 60 minutes of cardio (barf), and doing 3 sets of 10 was so freaking old by week 13.

I'm excited to start my journey in figure. It's really been such a good experience for me to compete because I look at myself and everything differently. I only want to do things that are going to help my body grow and be better. I only want to improve myself. Everything I put into my body I think "how is this going to help me when I step on the stage next time? how is this going to help my training?" With this mindset it's helped me quit binging, quit starving, and stop drinking. Granted I got shit faced last night because the Giants won the World Series but I don't want to drink anymore. I want to hit my macros, kill my workouts, and improve my body in the off season. Also, I don't care that I weight 140lbs. That's six pounds heavier than what I competed at and it's really shown me that at my leanest I weighed 133/134lbs so I probably wont ever be able to only weigh 112 or 120lbs and I'm so at peace with that.

I've been reverse dieting for the last 3 weeks and slowly increasing my calories. My goal for this off season is to get my calories up to 2100/day so next time I can cut at 1600/day. The diet I was on for my competition was just trash and it pains me that my coach is giving this plan out to people and claiming it works for everyone. I was on such a lot fat diet that I'm pretty sure it stalled out my progress. Next time my macros and my calories will be different and I think it will make prep better for me. I'm going to do a 14 week prep which does mean that I will be preping through Christmas but that's okay. It'll keep me sober and it'll be more beneficial in the long run because you have to be super lean for figure.

 I'm so very excited for this journey. I want to be taken seriously in this sport so I know what I have to do to get there. I saw how passionate and driven the people I competed with were and it was so motivating and inspiring. I'm on fire with motivation. Everyday I wake up and want to do better, be better, work harder. I want 2015 to be my year. I've had a couple hard hits lately in that I failed my nursing licence test twice and had to turn down two jobs because of it. Not to mention the speeding ticket I got, and I rear ended someone. I need to be more focused. I need to not be so distracted.