NPC concept I can't stop thinking about
Imagine an NPC in a videogame, and if you talk to them, they describe a pleasant experience and then say "let me tell you... that's better than sex."
And if you talk to them again, they make the case that a completely different experience or thing is better than sex, and they have a gigantic number possible things they could say are better than sex.
Some are nice.
"Sitting outside on a blanket in a field of wildflowers, watching the butterflies and bees pollinate the flowers, let me tell you... that's better than sex."
"Cuddling on the couch with your best friend, not really watching what on TV and just enjoying their company, let me tell you... that's better than sex."
Some are really weird to be saying to you, a stranger. A bit TMI
"I've been putting more fiber in my diet, and my constipation is gone! I poop so much easier now, and let me tell you... that's better than sex."
"The relief that swept through me when the doctor said that lump tested negative for cancer, let me tell you... that's better than sex."
This character would have 100s of lines of dialogue or half of all the dialogue in the entire game, whichever is larger.
And if you somehow get through all of their possible dialogue, they say this:
"Sex isn't everything. It's okay to be in a relationship where one partner doesn't have sex. It's okay to be celibate. It's okay to not be a sexual or romantic relationship with someone. Sex is just one of the many, many activities that we can do with another person. The realization that there's more beauty and wonderful and joy in life beyond just sex, let me tell you... that's better than sex."
And it has nothing to do with the story or what the hypothetical game this NPC would be from is about. I just think it would be a funny NPC gag.
