#november second

(spoiler for November 2nd under the cut)

Sam Winchester x Reader

Words: 821

Summary: On the anniversary of her death, Sam revisits Jessica’s grave with the woman who’s helping him through it all. 

Notes: This is one of those imagines that I wrote in one day so bare with me. 

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Dean let him borrow the car. Dean never let him borrow the car. But today, he let him borrow the car. Sam didn’t say anything while he drove, he just kept his hand on your knee, drawing strength from you. It had been a long time since he’d seen the grave. Four years? So much had happened, but he could still remember that pain. 

You just gave him as much support as he needed. Having been together for about a year, you knew that this still ate him up inside. You knew him better than he knew himself sometimes. Glancing in the rearview mirror, you looked at the bouquet of flowers situated in the back seat. No roses, of course. He said she always hated roses. 

Neither of you said anything until you reached the cemetery. 

“Can you um…” Sam inhaled deeply. “I think I need a minute to myself. Can you just wait here?” You wanted to stay with him, but instead you just gave him a small smile. 

“I’ll be right here if you need me.” Sam nodded and brought your lips to his for a quick kiss before he stepped out of the car, stopping to grab the flowers before finding Jessica’s grave. 

You watched him from the impala, fiddling with the sleeve of your black dress. You were more nervous than you thought you would be. Sam wanted you to come with him to his dead girlfriend’s grave on the anniversary of her death. The girl he wanted to marry, for god’s sake. And today wasn’t just the day of her death. Today, November 2nd, 1983, is the day that changed Sam and Dean’s lives forever. It's the day their mom died. 

Your cell phone rang and you answered it, greeting the older Winchester with a sigh. 

“Hey Dean.”

“How’s he doing?” Dean wondered. He’d been worried since the two of you left. 

“I think he’s okay. He wanted some time by himself, so I’m sitting in the car.” You leaned your head on the window. You could only see the back of him, but you somehow knew he was talking to her. 

“He just wants you there for him.” Dean said, imagining the pain his kid brother was going through right now. “The fact that he wanted you with him… that means a lot, Y/N.”

“I know, Dean. I’m just going to be what he needs, whatever that is.” The silence on the other end let you know that Dean approved. “And Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“I know what today means for you too, and if you need anything-”

“Woah woah woah, don’t start worrying about me. Focus on Sammy, okay?” Another long pause. “But thanks.” It was nice to know he at least had someone to talk to if he needed it. “I’ll see you guys when you get back.” 

“Bye Dean.” You hung up and kept your gaze on your boyfriend. 

Sam approached the grave slowly, setting the flowers down beside the headstone. His hands were shaking. 

“Hi Jess.” He said softly. “I know it's, um, it’s been a while since I’ve been here, and I’m really sorry about that.” He could feel himself choking up so he tried to push it down. “I’m really sorry.” 

He took a couple shaking breaths, trying to keep from crying too hard. The tears flowed freely, but he was worried he wouldn’t get through what he wanted to say. 

“I brought someone, Jess.” He glanced back at you and smiled sadly. “I wanted you to meet her.” He paused, almost like he was waiting for a response. “I think you’d like her. She’s… everything to me. Aside from Dean, of course, she’s the most important person in my life. She makes me believe in myself… just like you did.

“Of course, I’m not here to compare her to you. That’s not my point.” He laughed nervously, wiping away a couple tears from his cheeks. “I just mean that she makes it worth the fight. Every day gets harder to just keep going, but she helps me through it. She keeps me going. I know what you’re thinking; ‘stop talking you idiot and let me meet her’.” He chuckled to himself. 

He turned back to the impala where you were waiting for his signal. He waved his hand, motioning for you to join him. Nervously, you got out of the car and walked towards him, anxiously wringing your hands. 

“Hey.” You greeted, looking into his tear filled eyes. He reached out his hand and you took it without hesitation. You leaned your head on his shoulder, both of you looking down at the gravestone. Jessica Lee Moore. 

Standing there with you by his side, Sam felt something. A wave of warmth and acceptance. He could have sworn he felt a hand on his shoulder. That’s how he knew that he was right. Jessica was happy that he had you.

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