Ok we all talk about the Pevensies' trauma at returning to Earth at the end of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and their trouble readjusting to life there again but think of all the funny/good parts too
They return from the country, and their mom is surprised when all her children hug her at the station. Even Peter, who thinks he's all grown up. Even Edmund, who went away surly and withdrawn. She doesn't know her children haven't seen her in over a decade.
They miss their dear Cair Paravel, but they absolutely do not miss its chamber pots. Indoor plumbing is amazing.
It takes a while to remember how modern technology works, though. How many heart attacks did the siblings give their parents or the professor because they walked into a dark room only to turn on the light and find the children sitting there in the dark. (They were by the window! There was still plenty of light from the sunset! They would have gotten a candle in a minute!) The kids sheepishly remember oh yeah electricity is a thing.
(Edmund has a new electric torch in Prince Caspian. He was so excited to get that torch. Almost more excited than you'd think a kid his age would be, and his parents expect Peter at least to tease him, but the siblings all agree light in your hand at the touch of a switch is terrific.)
Suddenly getting really high grades in some subjects and terrible in others. Their grammar, reading comprehension, spelling, vocab, even penmanship? Amazing. History and geography? They don't remember anything. One time in class Susan forgets Earth is round and wants to die.
Also they can never remember what the date is supposed to be because Narnia uses different months and years. They can estimate time really well by looking at the sun though, and Edmund at least can always tell which way is north etc without thinking about it (again, using the sun)
Okay but how many times did they go to pick something up or reach something and realize they are so much shorter and less muscled than they expect? It's a common sight to see Peter climbing on counters to reach a top cabinet, grumbling about how he's High King this is demeaning. (No he never takes the extra five seconds to grab a stool. He will climb that shelf.)
Peter and Susan being delighted because they are no longer almost thirty. (In a few years Edmund and Lucy will tease them about being old and their parents will not understand.)
Lucy doesn't have to deal with periods anymore for a few years yet. Susan might not either. Heck yeah
Lucy loves to climb into her siblings' laps and be cuddled. In Narnia she eventually she grew too big, but now she is small and snuggleable again. Peter is her favorite, and if she's upset, he'll tickle her and tell bad jokes until she's smiling again, but really she loves cuddling with all her family. She grew up without her parents; how many times did she just want to crawl into her mom's lap and her mom was a world away? Imagine the first time she realizes she can now. Or, imagine one day, a cold and grey sort of day, when the rain is pattering against the windows, and it sounds like the rain on the windows of the Professor's house, that first day they went exploring. It sounds like the day they played hide and seek. It sounds so like the rain on the windows of Cair Paravel, that if Lucy closes her eyes she can imagine she's back there, having tea and chatting with Mr. Tumnus before the fireplace of her room, and soon the rain will stop, and they will go out on the balcony and wave to the naiads and the dryads and the mermaids, who have come out to enjoy the rain and visit one other on the banks of the Great River winding past Cair Paravel down to the sea.
But if Lucy looks out the window, all she'll see is the rain over London, so it's not only a cold and grey sort of day, it's a lonely sort of day too.
Susan and Edmund are playing chess in the living room (and they must have studied with Professor Kirke, thinks their mother, because they certainly weren't that good when they left). Lucy goes over to Edmund, and oh dear, thinks their mother, now he's going to call her a baby and be horrible to her, but instead he picks her up and puts her on his lap without even taking his eyes off the chessboard; it's simply a matter of course.
"Doesn't the rain sound familiar?" says Lucy in a solemn, wistful way.
Their mother doesn't know what that means, but her siblings must, because Susan says, "Yes, Lu, it does,ā and Edmund gives her a little hug with his free arm as she tucks herself under his chin to watch the chess match.
(Five minutes later there is a crash from the next room as Peter falls off a counter. Their mother does not understand the words he must have picked up from the Professor, but he's grounded for them anyway. His siblings have no respect for their High King, because they refuse to stop laughing.)
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hey are we still posting queer narnia headcanons. these have been floating in my notes half-finished for ages; I figured now was as good a day to post them as any
when the Pevensies are ruling in LWW "these two Kings and two Queens governed Narnia wellā¦And they made good laws and kept the peaceā¦and generally stopped busybodies and interferers and encouraged ordinary people who wanted to live and let live" (ch 17, emphasis mine). Add to this that Narnia is a very natural land, and nature is diverse af. Like. I'm thinking about how many plants aren't split by gender and thinking about bigender and intersex dryads. Agender naiads because what gender does water have? Genderqueer stars. Those fish that change gender sometimes and the possibilities of trans and genderfluid merfolk. All sorts of queer talking animal relationships. Basically Narnia is so full of different orientations and genderfuckery and letting people live their own lives that no one bats an eye if a satyr is ace or a naiad decides they want a gender.
the pevensies are a bit shocked by it all when they first arrive, the older ones more so, but is it really so much strangerāor any less wondrousāthan talking animals or trees? They're busy running a kingdom (and only ~8-13; they're not thinking about romance much yet); they've got more important things to worry about than that boy dwarf wearing dresses. Between the tunics and robes and cotes and surcotes, they're all basically wearing dresses themselves. Mr. Tumnus and the Beavers aren't wearing anything. Yeah, those two lady-fauns kissing would be unheard of back home (and is making Susan's stomach feel funny), but can someone tell them the proper form of address for this letter they're writing? Is a Tisroc an excellency or a majesty or something else? How do you even spell Tisroc?
the pevensies grow up surrounded by variety (helped by their memories of England fading), and learning about themselves along the way. soon they don't think queer relationships or genders are any stranger than the narnians do
Peter
pan. He'll fall for anyone and he'll fall hard. He's very friendly and open, and probably the most prone to flirting at festivals and the like, but I think he'd have relatively few serious relationships. He's High King, and a small part of him always wonders if this person is interested in him, or just his status. Also he flirts easily but is hilariously shy about taking a relationship from flirting to actually dating because he's worried about accidentally pressuring someone with his power. His type is someone who can match him, intellectually and/or physically and isn't put off by his status, but he's a Soft Boy underneath all his charm, and he gets adorably flustered when someone is seriously courting him.
secretly assumes he will be the one to marry for politics. He'd prefer not, and he's aware that, as High King, his marriage is a powerful tool not to be treated lightly, but if Narnia ever has to have a political marriage for some reason, he's not going to let any of his siblings be forced into anything. (I don't headcanon this ever actually happening. But Peter would have done it)
Susan
bisexual and demiromantic. She feels attraction, sure, but nothing like the fireworks and butterflies her siblings describe. Partly because of this, and partly because she's a queen and she's Susan, she's always had a rather practical idea of marriage. A potential spouse is someone she can imagine building a good long term relationship and life with, with obvious bonus points if she finds them physically attractive. Also assumes she is The Sibling Who Will Have a Political Marriage (no she and Peter have not discussed this with each other)
this is part of why Rabadash threw her for such a loop. He was handsome? He seemed charming? Maybe this is what falling for someone feels like? She wanted it to be what falling for someone felt like; it would be a good alliance. And then she saw him without all his fake charm and he was awful. It took a long time for Susan to trust her ideas of attraction to people again
years after Liliandil has come to stay in Cair Paravel, Susan is thrown for a loop again when she realizes her feelings for this one friend out of all her friends areā¦intense? Different? She doesn't know? She throws herself into work and internally panics and feels sick to her stomach and eventually confides in Lucy. And Lucy tells her "Susan, I think you're in love." (Susan: ???)
Edmund
baby bi bi bi
careful with his heart, though (hello, Jadis-related trust and self-esteem issues :3 ) Good at being friendly and teasing and bantering riiight on the line of "this could be flirting, if you were interested. (and if you're not then nope nope nothing to see here)". He nearly drives Caspian insane in the period between Caspian realizing he fancies Edmund and them getting together
but once Edmund's in, he's all in. Flirting lines (his crown is silver and so is his tongue), showing off when sparring/in tourneys, leaving gifts in Caspian's room when he's out or slipping them into his pockets and then denying any knowledge (no he can't just give them to Caspian; he needs to be a little mischevious and also a little shy about it. black cat energy)
Lucy
lesbian. In the Golden Age she was always running around in the woods and streams with nymphs and naiads and dryads and the lines between friendship and romance and romantic friendship got very blurred sometimes
"what about post Golden Age?" congrats you've activated my trap card it's rare pair time
(I say as if I didn't just casually drop in Susandil)
in the VDT book Lucy does a spell to see what your friends really think about you from Coriakin's book, and eavesdrops on a conversation between two girls from Lucy's school. Anne Featherstone asks if Marjorie Preston is "still going to be all taken up with Lucy Pevensie", as Marjorie was "crazy about her last term". Marjorie denies it and acts like Lucy is nobody to her and honestly a bit tiresome. Lucy, who "did all sorts of things for her last term, andā¦stuck to her when not many other girls would", gets so upset she yells at the book before remembering it's just a book and Marjorie can't actually hear her, and also cries a bit. Later Aslan shows up and tells Lucy "you have misjudged your friend. She is weak, but she loves you. She was afraid of the older girl and said what she does not mean."
so basically Marjorie shows up for like two pages, in a picture in a book and not even really there, and Lucy's entire relationship with her may be ruined now anyway, and none of this made it into the movie or bbc miniseriesābut it's too late; i'm going down with this ship anyway. and by ship i mean the raft i cobbled together out of spare boards and bubblegum
Caspian
disaster bi. help everyone's hot. swoons over all the kings and queens of old to varying degrees, though he settles after spending more time with them and they become his friends/found family rather than legends
then somewhere along the way he realizes he's swooning over Edmund all over again
when he's down, he's down bad. Courtship and romance and chivalry to the MAX.
Eustace
gay
during VDT he is a tiny confused baby gay who does not yet realize he is a baby gay and in like five years he's going to have a crisis about it
Eustace, talking to Edmund about how glad he is to be himself again after changing back from a dragon:Ā "You'd think me simply phony if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them." (VDT chapter 7)
Edmund, who has been a full adult and already gone through his gay crisis and watched his siblings going through theirs and fully clocked that comment about Caspian's arms: ā¦yeah I think my baby cousin has gone through enough for one week. I'll gently bring up that he likes guys some other time.
Mr. Tumnus
I was reading over one of my wips, a flower-based soulmate au, and Mr. Tumnus has blooming flowers even though he's not with anyone, which I think would mean he's aromantic? I have no memory of writing that but sure, headcanon accepted?
actually, thinking about it a bit more, "Nymphs and Their Ways" does sound like the title of a book a poor confused aro would have on his bookshelf, trying to understand what all his friends are going on about. Also when the Pevensies start growing up and having feelings, or noticing others having feelings, they go to him for advice, and he thinks he gives such good advice and they do too and none of them know he has no clue what he's talking about. Please imagine Susan and Mr. Tumnus having tea together and trying to figure out why Peter is unable to think every time that new knight is in the room. (Peter doesn't know either. He's just 16 and confused and wildly horny.)
Misc
Liliandil's sexuality is [untranslatable] and her gender is [different untranslatable]. I have a folder in my head labeled "Lili's gender" and right now the only things in it are that pride flag made out of nasa pics and a meme of marge simpson holding a rock labeled "she/her pronouns" saying "I just think think they're neat". Also maybe some gifs of Janice from The Good Place (feminine but not in a female way. not a robot human, not a girl).
unsure about Jill but she's not straight and she and Eustace are wlw/mlm hostility
there's a line in MN about how Polly could never see anything especially beautiful about Jadis, even though she's constantly described as being stunningly gorgeous, so Polly may be our token straight. Or ace. I do lowkey ship her with Digory, though. Maybe seven-foot-tall sorceresses just aren't her type.
Reepicheep seems aroace to me. He'd die defending the honor of a lady but he doesn't wanna marry one. While we were being allosexual he was studying the blade
This was made partly because I think Edmund would struggle to believe himself worthy of happiness or love after his mistakes with the Witch, and partly because I have Thinking About Them Disease (it's incurable)
My headcanon about Susan and Eustace is that they are both practical and stubborn and prone to bossiness; they like making sure things are done properly. What this means is that when their visions are aligned they are a truly unstoppable force and when their visions aren't they need to be forcibly bustled off to separate rooms to calm down before they murder each other for trying to hang up flower garlands for a party the Wrong Way.
Do you ever think about the fact Edmund was nine* when he was told he deserved to die? Sure, Aslan sacrificed himself so it didn't happen, and the people he'd actually wronged forgave him, and everyone rallied around him to protect him and thought the Witch was being overly cruel in asserting her right to kill himābut she did have that right.
āHave you forgotten the Deep Magic?ā says the Witch. "ā¦what is written on that very Table of Stone which stands beside us? Tell you what is written in letters deep as a spear is long on the fire-stones on the Secret Hill? Tell you what is engraved on the scepter of the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea? You at least know the Magic which the Emperor put into Narnia at the very beginning. You know that every traitor belongs to me as my lawful prey and that for every treachery I have a right to a kill. ā¦that human creature is mine. His life is forfeit to me. His blood is my property. ā¦ unless I have blood as the Law says all Narnia will be overturned and perish in fire and water.ā
āIt is very true,ā said Aslan, āI do not deny it.ā (LWW ch 13)
Even Aslan doesn't deny it. He's sad about it and he'll give his own life to get around it but he doesn't deny it. It is written in fire and carved in stone and woven into the very fabric of the universe in ancient immutable laws that will destroy the world and everyone in it if this truth is denied: Edmund should die. And he is nine.
And I think that does some damage to your psyche.
*this has been in my notes for a while, and I originally had Edmund as ten. (He's born 1930; LWW takes place in 1940.) But looking through LWW again i realized Lucy tells Mr. Tumnus "it's summer" in England. And PC starts with the Pevensies going back to school (so presumably in autumn), a few days after Edmund's birthday. So if he's born autumn 1930, in summer 1940 he's not even ten. He's nine. He's so small. Someone please give this tiny child therapy.
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no thoughts only sleepy morning casmund. caspian getting up to look out the window and see what the day is like and edmund coming up behind him, wrapping his arms around caspian, placing lazy kisses over his shoulders and the back of his neck, the whole scene bathed in soft golden sunlight. thinking about it. (saw a gif of shirtless ben barnes looking out a window)
