#nouveaustuck

The thing that got Bull, in all but a humorous way, about the freedom he sought was the game’s way of throwing it in his face every chance he could get. First it was Alternian castes, and then his work, and then his body, all of it putting him in chains he never wanted nor agreed to. Then the game, the beast that had raining fire down on his world, his people, his hopes and dreams and then some more. 

The game... It was a constant in his life, sweeps of pain because of the power it granted Handmaid, sweeps of pain and loss he had hidden behind firewalls the size of a planet’s rings. Did he remember those losses? Sure. He remembered every decapitation and explosion, death by his hands and the dead dying in his arms. It was the emotion and loss he hid away in the little robotics left in his skull. But that was the point of the game, wasn’t it? To make him a slave to his own emotions and his weakness to them.

Dragging his bloody, sorry ass to the doors, he stepped out into the heat of the sands, trying to adjust for a moment. It would be several minutes before he would be found again. The nature of his session’s glitching failure was not completely lost on him. 

Handmaid had, invariably, altered the course of Alternian history to her liking, making everything fall into place just as she needed for the lot of them, a group of adults not suited for games most of the time, to be tasked with playing SGRUB. In the course of her shenanigans, Dualscar ended up older than the Condesce, Bull himself was able to defeat the Grand Highblood, and through it all, Alternia was technologically advanced enough that he survived. 

And that was the kicker. He had survived. Over and over and over again, he had survived, but not quite enough for the mechanics of the game to correct the problem and allow him to contribute any ectobiological nonsense to make that last proper player. That killed bull more than anything else. His lack of a Tavros in this timeline was the precise reason he had to play the game in the first place. His lack of reproductive maturity at the time of his cybernetic transformations had robbed the ectobiological process of SGRUB and prevented a Tavros from ever existing, forcing the game to readjust to punish you for that. To punish everyone... To glitch.

Stumbling out, out into the sand, wings too broken to allow you flight, Bull recounted one thousand two hundred and three failed sessions. Resets. Death and destruction because of his own incompetence. Failure. Sure he had facilitated enough of it, trying to cheat the game and prevent another mess like all the ones before, but even then he had to fail, had to push the game to it’s limit to figure out how to beat it. He needed to know how to properly adjust the game and his team so when they god-tiered the carapaces wouldn’t go nuts trying to hunt them down. He needed to find a way to properly counteract the Black King, those Dersite gangs and the fumbling and meddling at the hands of Prospit’s court. He needed to find a way that no one would die whether he wanted them to live or not. And through it all, he had taken failure and tried to make the best of it, even at his own expense. Even if he had to sacrifice his freedom to...

Live. 

He knew somewhere that the freedom to die on one’s own terms was paramount to living free. With his days of warrior king-hood gone, it had slipped out now and again, slipped from his mind and slipped from his philosophy. And yet there was blood, his blood, on his hands. What was once a rallying cry for peasants and slaves in the heat of battle was now on his mind. He would choose the freedom of his own death, whether or not it played into the aspect of breath, and end what little grip of evil that vile... vile... Demoness... He groaned, dropping to his knees, blood on his lips, coughing up from some busted pipe or line in his chassis. The thought of Handmaid alone made him shudder. 

He had seen battles between ancient North Alternian tribes, seadwellers with claws like rakes and hair like rope, jewelry like armor for the throat and wrists. He had seen guillotines slice and dice with indiscriminate glee. He had seen streets paved with bones and stones and painted with blood from rust to lime. He had seen... Condy. Young Condy taking na Empire. He had seen young Rex, a court fool with little else but a dark glint in their eye. He had seen them all, over years, taken a fair amount of punches to protect them (even though those all were a part of Handmaid’s plans) and did what he could to survive despite tornadoes, tsunamis, earthquakes and meteors. The javelin in him now? Nothing. The damaged arm? Nothing. He had faced dinosaurs and mobs, ancient pharaohs and forest fires, had his body regenerated and destroyed by Handmaid over and over and over so she could exert her control and get what he wanted. His fear. His ache. His pain. His compliance. 

Bull’s will to live was the only thing keeping her above him. And despite his love for all the ones around him, for his quads, his friends, his egg... 

His egg... His Tavros-to-be...

That alone brought him to the ground, sand in his wounds and his damaged parts, in his blood and in his mouth. What little power he had left he directed to his internal transportalizer, fixing it and setting it as close to the spot on his maps he had marked for this occasion. There was no guarantee this would work. None at all. His dreamself was lost to the void and he had no way of getting to Prospit’s core. Bull cleared what little sand he could from his face and flashed, a bright white light carrying him from just outside his hive to the opposite side of the Land of Oasis and Ruin where a large ruin, an ancient metropolitan area swarming with palms and sand, waited for him. In the canyons on this side of the planet, sandstorms were rare, but the light of Skaia was strong, burning, making his dark, dingy metal sear and gleam in the heat. He stumbled, trying to stand, trying to compose himself as he wandered the vast array of colonnades and porticoes, dry fountains and towering, sandy temples. The way the wind moved here, hollow and lifeless, it left an eerie echo all around him as he dragged himself to a place he never thought he would have the chance to use. He had to hold his damaged arm in place, fearing the possible loss of a limb enough to knock him off balance. There were stairs to climb after all, wide and imposing steps, hundreds of them leading up to the open platform at the highest point of this long abandoned city. The cacophony of the winds and his body’ glitches continued, lulling him into a sense of isolation and security like none he had ever experienced. 

Handmaid had no power over him any longer. 

Bull had lost countless iterations of his life, his loves and his friends, people he cared so deeply for. And now? As he climbed those stairs, the rest of the city and the sands falling behind him, he ached and pained, all the potent firewalls keeping his sorrow at bay breaking. Tears flowed, from both the pain in his body and in his heart, the hundreds of timelines he had seen, with his team and his life shattered time and time again. He recounted the aching scream in his chest as those hundreds of Dualscars and Darkleers, Signlesses and Redglares.... all of them and more... so many more...

He was sobbing as he collapsed at the foot of the ceremonial platform at the top of the city. Below him stretched a hollow shell of metropolis. How fitting was it that he, a hollow shell of a king, were to crown it now? His blood had trailed down the steps, down like some gruesome sacrifice of metal and oil and blood. Bull dragged himself slowly forward, to the recuperacoon on a dais ahead. He had dealt with pain before. He had dealt with loss before. He had dealt with damage... His own and others. He could do this much.

Even the horrorterror he had made his deal with told him this was a last resort and more of a Plan Z than a Plan B. Bull knew his dreamself was lost. He knew he should have gone to the crypt in Prospit. But he had kept his promise and left enough of his soul and his body organic. He could let the terror in still, and calling out with his communing prowess, a cry like no other, he continued dragging his limp body across the stones and the steps to the dais and his quest cocoon. 

He knew there was no guarantee he would come back from this. He knew he was greeting death like a desperate fool. 

Bull knew, even as he climbed up onto that cocoon that he was pressing his luck and giving up the most progress he had ever met. He had only kept living to try and protect the next timeline and the next reset and all the people he loved out there from Handmaid and the game. But he also knew this would come eventually. He knew he would have to trap her and keep her from going out again and hurting more people. 

Bull knew he had to die, and in it granting himself the freedom to choose his fate. 

And so, a mess of a man and machine, a bloody fool with tears in his eyes and sparks all over himself, he dragged himself into position, draped over that coocon, twitching with malfunction gently. He bit his lips and looked into the sky, cloudless and blue, and grabbed the javelin in his torso, holding it tight. 

“1 w1sh 1 could have seen some clouds at least one more t1me.”

He twisted that javelin with a splatter of blood and sparks. 

“1 w1sh 1 could have done more.”

Yanking hard, he pulled the javelin free and coughed, blood coming up, pain wracking through him. 

Grabbing her trident, and dex full of weapons she did the first logical thing for her. Get money, and within the game grist seemed to be the cash. Step one would be to gather enough of it to make better gear for herself.. then at least she would be able to try at some of the easier looking crystals.. She hoped not all of them would be as hard as getting Darkeers was that night. There was no need to plan what she did first, it was a cruel and deserve strike on any low level monsters within her planet, after that she went for ones that took a little more effort. Slowly clearing her planet out.. Neve needing sleep had its perks and she would fight for days clearing monsters and collecting grist. The waters of her panet soon were clear of any foes that lay in her path.. though even then that was not enough grist for her liking... the other materials she seemed to make were also lacking. Only then was it time to plan..

Looking over maps she had drawn of the world she now ruled Meenah slowly thought, clawed finger running over the paper as she scanned everything.. Then it hit her, the mobs around Darkleers crystal.. they seemed to reset a few times on her. Grabbing her gear she would go to that spot and test this. Mapping out how far away from where his crystal was she had to be to "reset" the mobs and spawn new ones.. the beasts were never ending but they seemed to stop spawning after ten minutes.. no matter how many she managed to down within that time. After that she spent every moment she could move grinding  that spot, kill for ten minutes take a break to reset and then go back to killing. Meenah had always been highly skilled but with constant battle in her life she was becoming something near perfect. No movement was wasted and no energy given to something that missed. She could almost see how much life each imp had.

[06:55] NR: At all?

[06:55] TS: I did one part of my quest and now I need otters to do the rest.

[06:55] NR: Vwhat are you needin?

[06:56] TS: Whale I need you to come talk to this one group so they whale stop smakin me when I get near them and the rest all are protectin gems with otter players colors on them.

[06:56] TS: Which means at some point me and /him/ whale need to work together..

[06:56] NR: Yeah, I'll be there for that too, if you'd like. I can play mediator.

[06:57] TS: That be reel kelpful.

[06:57] TS: I do naught want to krill him anymore but I get this reeel bad feelin he whale try to krill me.

[06:59] NR: I'm a bit busy right nowv vwith my owvn quest... Its gettin easier to figure out vwhat pieces can fit vwhere, though. So it shouldn't be too long before I can come help you out vwith your quest zz:)

[07:00] TS: I knew this thin would be no big deal for you. You were awaves wave to smart.. 38**

[07:17] NR: zz:** Flatterer.

[07:18] TS: Its the truth? I mean tank aboat Bull tryin to do whatever the game gave you

[07:18] TS: I bet hes got a reeel easy quest and has been busy doin nofin.

[07:19] NR: Vwell I can say vwith no small amount of certainty that he has DEFINITELY not been cleanin his hivwe.

[07:20] TS: Whale no, doesnt have some girl in his sprite doin that kind of ship for him?

[07:21] NR: I'm just sayin, if I had that much sand in my hivwe I'd be about goin out of my mind.

[07:22] TS: D8

[07:22] TS: Eww. How cod he live like that? I bet he has consorts just runnin free in the place too.

[07:24] NR: Vwho evwen knowvs, honestly.

[07:24] TS: Ugh that man is just horribubble

[07:24] TS: How cod you even let him near you?

[07:25] NR: Meenah he tracked sand all throguh my hivwe it vwas terrible zz:'C

[07:26] TS: 38C

[07:26] TS: Stab him.

[07:26] TS: Stab him with all of yore swords.

[07:26] NR: I might just take a can opener to him, honestly.

[07:26] TS: Make him lick it up.

[07:27] TS: Turn him into the uglest vaccum ever.

[07:28] NR: He's already got handlebars, honestly, there is so little stoppin me.

[07:28] TS: Do it.

[07:30] TS: Make that talkin garbage can yore bitch.

[07:30] NR: He already is. zz;P

[07:30] NR: Honestly though, I'vwe half a mind to teach the man howv to clean his damned hivwe. Like honey, I don't care that you livwe in a tree and talk to animals thats no excuse to allowv your hivwe to be a pigsty.

[07:31] TS: 38D

[07:31] TS: If you need kelp ask.

[07:33] NR: Pft. I don't imagine that you'd much like to spend the amount of time vwith him that'd likely require.

[07:33] TS: Right now Id spend days with him if that cod mean I wasnt alone.

[07:35] NR: Awv... You vwant me to come ovwer there vwhen I get done tonight?

[07:36] NR: zz:0 Or you could come ovwer here? That'd vwork too...

[07:36] NR: I can make us up somethin to eat, you can bring a desert, and vwe can introduce your Hellbender to Sychra, see howv they get along zz:)

[07:37] TS: I did not even tank of that.

[07:37] TS: I would love to come otter there? Like all this coral is naught good for relaxin on.. and I whale bring him! 38D

[07:38] NR: zz:D This hivwe has a pool, if you'd like somevwhere comfortable to go svwimmin?

[07:39] TS: I reeely would like that ship. Swimmin with coral is reeely naught fin.

[07:43] NR: I knowv that from experiance. Oof. You'll like this one a lot better, I'm sure.

[07:45] TS: I cod say the same.. uh just a warnin I am reeel beat up from fallin on this ship a lot.

[07:46] NR: zz:0 You vwant me to see vwhat I can do in vways of patchin you up?

[07:47] TS: That be reel nice? I got most of it but theres a few I cod naught reach or bear to pull the coral out of..

[07:47] TS: Fallin down a coral hill is naught fin.

[07:48] NR: Ooooowvwv

[07:48] TS: You cod say that again. lol

[07:49] NR: Cod is there no land or anything there? Just a bunch a coral? zz:C

[07:49] TS: Its coral, quartz and some water here and there.

[07:52] NR: Not fun. Is it at least vwarm there?

[07:53] TS: Its what I tank earth would be like? Sunny warm and reely nice.

[07:58] NR: Sounds nice zz:0

[07:59] NR: You knowv, except for the vwhole, Coral bein evwil bit.

[07:59] TS: Whale yeah. I have been workin on a light weight armor and might be close to somethin that whale be easy to move in but naught break if I fall.

[08:01] NR: zz:0 I may havwe somethin that could help. It may be a bit baggy and too short, but maybe you could alchemize it vwith your current one to help vwith that?

[08:07] TS: I whale bring what I have with me then! 38***

[08:10] NR: Vw

[08:10] NR: **Vwe'll get you somethin vworked out zz:**

[08:11] TS: I was wounderin, like did they break down into only buzzin sounds?

[08:12] NR: I havwe not, in fact, been set to vwibrate.

[08:18] TS: Good, and you shell never be set to soemfin as lewd as that ship.

[08:19] NR: Meenah dearest, 'lewvd' is unfortunately a default for me. You just get special treatment zz:*

[08:20] TS: Oh. Whale I am glad to hear that ship.

[08:24] NR: Thats the goal zz:)

[08:26] TS: Ocray so I have more cheese cake, "Dirt" cupcakes and I may have made a fondent covered layer cake.

[08:29] NR: zz:0 Hmm, I'll probably be making some steak(Howv do you take yours?) as I havwe an absurd number of good cuts for it in a vwariety of meats... Some vweggies, and some potatoes. Vwhat evwer you think vwould followv that up vwell zz:)

[08:45] TS: Uh whale I reeely do naught eat steak? I guess on the raw side? I whale bring the cupcakes, I do naught tank I made thesefor you before. 38D

[08:51] NR: zz:0 Vwould you be super opposed to babyscar comin ovwer?

[08:52] TS: No? Why would I be? I whale just have to bring more cupcakes. 38D

[08:52] NR: Just makin sure zz:)

[08:52] TS: Also I whale show you the armor in private then.

[08:52] TS: Its reeely tiny.

[08:52] NR: zz:0 Oh dear.

[08:53] TS: It smol.

[08:53] NR: Should I just go ahead and givwe you mine to alchemize vwith it?

[08:53] TS: Whale I want you to sea it first?

[08:53] NR: If you insist.

[08:54] TS: I just figure I might be doin somefin wrong and anotter item is naugt needed?

[08:57] NR: Ah. Vwell, honestly I don't havwe a vwhole lot of clue howv to vwork the alchemizer either, I'vwe not used it a vwhole lot zz:0

[08:58] TS: Ocray then. I whale just have you send waterver it is you were talkin aboat over.

[08:58] TS: I figured you had everythin figured out.

[08:59] NR: Not at all, honestly. I knowv you can use it to make more of things, and thats particularly useful... But I don't knowv howv to combine things vwery vwell.

[08:59] TS: Oh whale its just shovin thins together that make sense?

[09:00] TS: I made thick soled shoes by takin rubber and a pair of reeely cuttle beach shoes.

[09:01] NR: I'm almost hivwe nowv, so I'll do that vwhen I get there.

[09:01] NR: As a bit of a vwarnin, somethin happened betvween babyscar and Sugary, he may be a little bit dowvn tonight if he does come ovwer.

[09:01] TS: Ocray! I am gatherin up Zeus and the food. 38D

[09:02] TS: Oh.. 38C I sea

[09:03] NR: Yeah, I'm vworried about him. zz:C

[09:03] TS: Whale if anythin I tank the both of us cod make the little guy happy.

[09:10] NR: Meenah...

[09:10] TS: Cronus?

[09:10] NR: I'm... Really vworried he's not goin to be comin to the hivwe.

[09:11] TS: You find him and make him.

[09:11] NR: I can't go get him, Meenah, I can't leavwe the medium.

[09:12] TS: Oh whale try to get someone to check on him??? 38C

[09:18] NR: zz:C I'm vworried that'll make things vworse.

[09:19] TS: Cronus Ampora, watever you do whale not end up perfect and you gotta make shore that kid is ocray. He looks up to you!

[09:20] NR: I'm tryin!

[09:21] TS: Whale ocray.

[09:26] TS: Send me yore cords I whale at least sit with you while you figure this ship out?

[09:26] -- navitaRex [NR] Hivwe.txt --

[09:27] TS: I whale be there in a minnow.

[09:27] NR: Thank you.

[09:28] -- tethysSea [TS] pulling on a dress she grabbed Zeus and the cupcakes and transported over. Setting the treats out she let the giant beast sit on her shoulders as she stood in there hive. --

[09:28] TS: "SHello.."

[09:29] -- navitaRex [NR] They're pacing the floor, Sychra sitting on the couch and watching them fret back and forth across the floor. --

[09:30] NR: "Hello Meenah."

[09:30] -- tethysSea [TS] and then Zeus was off moving to sit next to the pretty smaller lizard. Walking over to them Meenah scooped them up and walked off. --

[09:31] TS: "Thats naught going to get you anyfin done.."

[09:31] NR: "I'm messagin him already, I can't do much else!"

[09:32] -- navitaRex [NR] They start trying to get down almost immediately, Skipper bouncing over to bark at the new troll carrying his owner. --

[09:32] -- tethysSea [TS] plop them down on a chair infront of the cupcakes and wander off to get a cup of milk. --

[09:33] TS: "Whale then relax.."

[09:33] NR: "I'd rather be pacin, it helps me deal vwith the fact that messagin him is all I can do."

[09:36] -- tethysSea [TS] sigh and nod. --

[09:36] TS: "At least go say shello to Zeus?"

[09:37] -- navitaRex [NR] They blink, having barely even noticed that the other salamander was there. Oh. Well damn he practically dwarfed Sychra. --

[09:37] NR: "Hello, Zeus. Nice to meet you."

[09:37] -- tethysSea [TS] at his name the hellbender was huffing over and licked there face with a happy chirp. --

[09:38] TS: "Hes got a twin brother named Thor that you whale be meetin when you come to my planet.."

[09:38] -- navitaRex [NR] zzBI Wonderful. Salamander kisses. At least he didn't smack them with his tong as Sychra was prone to doing. --

[09:38] NR: "Howv do you knowv they're tvwins?"

[09:39] TS: "They are the only two big males reeely? Like ever otter one is smaller. So I just assumed they were.."

[09:39] -- tethysSea [TS] shrug and pull out some dried fish throwing it at the giant beast. --

[10:09] -- navitaRex [NR] They're slumped in the chair, and they've been quiet for some time now, but the silence is broken by a sniffle. They've got tears streaming down their face, what a mess. --

[10:10] -- tethysSea [TS] she had been standing there waiting, and just slowly pats there shoulder. --

[10:32] -- navitaRex [NR] They sniff a bit, getting up to wipe their face clean from their crying for a moment. --

[10:33] -- tethysSea [TS] offering a towel she remains silent, unsure of what was going on but not wanting to press them. --

[10:33] NR: "Hey Meenah? You can go ahead and get in the pool dowvnstairs, he's comin ovwer but I gotta deal vwith this by myself for a bit."

[10:34] -- tethysSea [TS] nodding she collected her bag by the transporter and walked off to the pool. Zeus padding behind her with a dopey grin. --