#notthis

Check your accountsettings if you wanna see everything. You can even set your settings to blur things first.. but this is such an annoying thing for many creators!

I’m going to take a much needed break after this because i’m not sure i’m gonna continue on with the series. I’m running on 4 hours of sleep so probably my thoughts are incoherent and don’t make sense, so bare with me. 

I’m not gonna lie, the Azriel POV felt like a blow and a slap to the face all at once. I kept rereading it because i love pain and I felt mora towards Gwyn than elriel, and this comes from someone that has been shipping elriel since acomaf. I love them. I truly do. I wanted to explore the mating bond not working, the choosing someone over your mate, but azriel’s pov didn’t give me anything like that. It just reforced the fears I had once I knew about gwyn some days before. Now I’m sure Gwyn is great. I’m sure she will be great with Azriel. Sarah loves to explore healing dynamics and i think azriel and gwyn fits that. A victim of assault healing and a guy who has been in love for 500 years and obsessed with another girl he can’t have but finally finding love and healing as well. And this is where my thoughts starts to ramble again:

1. Why didn’t we get elain’s pov?. In the previous book we got Nesta’s but in this one we get Azriel’s , why?. Why not make the sister POV and see her struggles with the mating bond and her attractions towars azriel?. Well, in my eyes it’s because the next book is not about her

2. The 3some situation. Let’s be honest. We all knew it will be a threesome but this isn’t even one. Now we have a mating bond and gwyn. All of this in one book. Tamlin, rhysand and rhys conflict was resolved in two, not in one, and sarah said that each book will focus ON ONE COUPLE. Not two potentials couples. ONE COUPLE EACH. This has been stated by Sarah on her lives, so pardon me but I’m not seeing this going anywhere.

3. Gwyn and Azriel: We know that Az saved her. It’s clear that meant something to Gwyn and he was amused by her. Now people said Gwyn’s arc is completed but is it?. IT’S NOT. Gwyn is not a Valkirie yet and Nesta states that Az and Cassian will still train them and keep an eye on them. Gwyn goes back to the library but her story is nowhere to be completed. The valkyrie training and their dynamic to fight Koschei is still there. Her story might be almost completed but there’s something else to tell. She will still train and Az will monitor. The link is there. Meanwhile we don’t know much about Elain. Like we know Koschei wants her but it doesn’t seem like that’s the next plot, it seems most likely the last one

4. Azriel is horny: When i read his interactions with elain i was like ok.... they had an attraction but is there anything else?. Sure, we got crumbs for 3 books but Nesrin and Chaol did and look where they end up with. Chaol with Yrene a character that was introduced later even though he had a story with Nesrin. Now azriel seems to be angry at the cauldron for not pairing him with elain but is it really about her? Or is it because he wanted a mate so badly after spending 500 years with Mor?. Is it because his brothers found mates and he was like what about me?. Maybe this is exactly what sarah was trying to told us all the time. 3 Ylirians with the 3 sisters its not okay. Azriel questions the mother, and maybe that’s the conflict. He wants a mate so badly and someone who will love him and he will lust and be attracted to complicated but what happens when he will find something different?. Something that is healing and it’s there and he never expected?. Maybe the cauldron and the mother didn’t link him to elain because it wasn’t mean to happen. 

5. but..what about elain?. A lot of people said she’s been avoiding lucien and it’s right. We don’t know how she feels towards him really, mostly indiference and I hate the idea of her being forced into something. But we forget lucien and elain’s story is not finished and there’s a TRUE mating bond there plus Gwyn. It’s too much... Maybe elain needed to pursue someone else before realizing the world and the cauldron gave her a mate because that’s how it works. Maybe both elain and azriel needed to find each other to realize what really was there for them. Gwyn and Lucien. Now i don’t like the idea of neither of them and I won’t be reading that for sure. Bceuase 3 books of crumbs and little built up and a chapter of azriel confirming he is into elain just to be taken away after 5 minutes to pursue the gwyn narrative feels LIKE A SLAP INTO MY FACE. It feels as if sarah is saying well you know what you were right for 5 minutes but YOUR TIME IS UP, DING DONG DING WAKE UP!. It feels like she wanted a quick solution for the crumbs and she was like sure, they want to fuck but you know what they can’t because elain is with lucien and the mating bond will show her eventually and now az has someone who will make him realize elain and mor were nothing so let’s continue because elriel is over. You got your 5 minutes now let’s go back to the mating bond

6. Gwyn. Sarah has always stated her books are about healing and a personal journey. Gwyn is a victim of sexual assault and azriel saved her. By the end of the book azriel looks..happy. He seems comfortable with Gwyn. Eased. His shadows sing, he is a singer and so is she. He can imagine her face while getting that necklace and HE IS TREASURING THAT THOUGHT. He has hope again because gwyn is there and he can see her gleaming eyes and theres a true beauty there... Now we can agree it’s shitty what he did with the neclace but was he that moved about the fact that elain gave back the neclakce? He didn’t look that bothered. And it’s clear there’s a seed for gwyn and elain and it’s a strong one otherwise he wouldn’t have smiled thinking about her or end the chapter thinking about her face or slept perfectly. 

7. Going back to the mating thing. Rhys said that usually males will go crazy and females can’t be completely unaffected. There’s a story with Kodschei, Vassa and elain seems like the key. Maybe they will need elain to fight Koschei in the end and elain will be willing to go with lucien since azriel hurted her. Maybe realizing az is not there will finally allow her to open her eyes and at least try. Let’s be honest, elain was not fond of meeting lucien but maybe it was because she felt like she had no choice. Maybe in the end azriel it’s just the push for her to finally try to give lucien a try. Without azriel elain probably wouldn’t have talk to lucien. But if she is hurt maybe she will try to give lucien a chance and azriel and her will part ways. Maybe az and elain are just the push they needed to move on.

8. I know there are crumbs. I know he is protective of elain and he cares about her. But honestly in his POV it doesn’t look like it. It’s just look like a 5 year old kid who was pissed at the cauldron. And let’s be honest all his brothers has mates, az will find one, specially since sarah said she is excited to give him a story. I believe az and elain are the nesryn /chaol/yrene of all this. Sarah loves love triangles but usually they always end up with the later: aelin with rowan, dorian with manon, chaol with yrene.... usually the first one it’s never the option. Chaol had development with celaena. There was attraction but in the end neither of them were together. Feyre had a relationship with tamlin. They were in love and yet she needed time to realize rhys was the one. It took her some time to heal and yet she find her mate. This is the exact same thing. Crumbs for elriel but at the end there’s someone else, and the mother is there. Maybe that’s why the cauldron didn’t connect them. Because there was someone else

9. But..the mating bond rejection?. Rhys forgot about that one. There’s a trial. There is no way lucien is going to die and there’s no way azriel is gonna challenge him with a war coming. That would be too messy and we would need lucien present to see everything. Lucien will have to go back, see azriel and elain, accepted it and fight or not Az. is all of this going to happen in one book?. Withour gwyn maybe but gwyn is there.

10. How is elain feeling?. I haven’t forgotten about her. I’m surprised we didn’t get her POV and we got azriel’s. She gave the neclace back and she is avoiding him at all costs. We don’t know what is going through her mind and she is alone now. Her sisters are happy. Azriel seems happy with gwyn. She is alone with a mating bond and koschei after her and nesta. I don’t know how she is feeling and honestly i believe elain and az deserved better. Deserved better that this poorly written narrative where they lust after each other, give gifts to each other just to end up separated and azriel having other woman, his shadows singing and him treasuring the image of her and the blossomed beauty. A secret, treasured beauty. That’s about gwyn. And i think in the end sarah j maas got what she wanted. The mating bonds all in place at the expense of elriel. I know there’s a chance I’m wrong. But it feels like elriel was there for a minute and then it was crashed. The pov is not about elriel It’s about azriel finding someone else and having another crush. It’s about rejection and healing again. It’ about az being pissed at the cauldron for not getting a mate but maybe not realizing the true one is out there. It’s all about elriel being attracted to each other but for what?.

I’m sure i’m missing a lot of stuff. I’m sure gwyn is great and lovely and her story with az will be epic. I’m sure the mating bonds work and elucien will be great in the future. But it’s the same thing over and over again and i’m tired of couples being hinted just to be the realization of other couples being the true endgame. And elriel feels like a temporary thing sarah wrote.