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Zane VS Ati

(Background: Zane has decided to search for other ‘clients’, and approached Jakamav with an offer to take out anyone he needed him to. Jakamav just wanted him to annoy Ati or something, but Zane is. Zane. So near-death experiences will ensue)

notruin ((Ati already had quite the day. He’s tired out and just wants to go home and sleep, or curl up with Leras on the couch. He needed to head to campus and grab some papers from his office for him, though, and it took him a bit to find them so by the time he’s heading back to his car it’s getting pretty dark.))

voiceinthemists ((Finally, he left the damn building. Zane silently leaps from the top of the building, Pushing off of another car to cover the distance and pulling out two glass daggers.

Part of him wonders why he’d waited to be hired to try to take this bastard out, and part of him doesn’t need to ask. It had been hard enough to go without the voice in his head; even though he knows now that he had never been insane, attacking Ati still felt at some level like attacking himself. It had been long enough now, though, and Zane had come so far, that he’s finally comfortable–even eager to kill the creature that had once told him to murder everyone in sight.

Ash and Mist watch from the rooftop as Zane falls toward Ati, blades-first.))

notruin ((Ati’s senses are very acute after years and years of being alive, so he can hear shifting and the sudden push–even if it was silent.

He jumps to the side a bit, spinning around. At first he thinks someone just decided to jump on him, but as he sees the situation, his eyes get wide. “Zane … whoa, okay, calm down …” He backs up a bit, the papers he had already dropped to the ground.))

voiceinthemists ((Zane crashes to the floor beside Ati and immediately adjusts, whirling into a flurry of blades. He completely ignores Ati’s words.))

notruin ((There’s no avoiding getting slashed a few times. Ati gasps and drops to the ground, holding his arm where a deep gash is leaking blood. “Hold on! Hey!” He kicks his feet to scoot back, starting to really panic. He /knows/ Zane–he’s not Ruin anymore, but he can remember everything, and he can tell when Zane is out to kill. He was made to order him to for so long. There’s no mistaking it. “Zane, stop! Look, I know you’re mad, I know–” He gets cut off by a yelp as Zane hits him again.))

voiceinthemists ((“I’m not /mad/,” Zane snarls. He drops one knee onto Ati’s stomach and puts a blade to his neck. “That’s the whole point. I was never /mad/. Which means that without you, there’s a chance I could have become someone decent.” He spits the words out. Part of him still expects the 'kill him’ whisper, which had always been so much louder when he was only a slight muscle twitch from murder, and not hearing it feels like some kind of void in his mind.

It’s Ati’s fault he has to deal with that void.))

notruin ((“Zane …” Ati’s starting to tear up and breathe really hard, on the verge of hyperventilation. “Why would you think I don’t wish the same for you? You’re a good kid, you don’t deserve this, no one deserves …” He sucks in a breath, trying to steady his words. “No, no, you don’t understand, you /couldn’t/. Zane, I didn’t want that thing either. I didn’t have a choice!”))

voiceinthemists ((“You’re trying to get out of it?” It surprises Zane how insulted he feels. “After all that, you’re trying to tell me it wasn’t your fault?”))

notruin ((“Why would I choose that thing, Zane?” Ati’s voice gets louder, some of his anger at Ruin seeping into it. He’s talking rapidly, trying to get an explanation out. “It was forced onto me, just like its natural opposite was forced onto my fucking husband! Neither of us wanted that! It used me like a puppet, like it used you, and God Beyond, it still does! Do you have any idea what it’s made me do just in the past few days? It’s still putting me through trauma. And I’m sorry, I’m /so sorry/ that it did that to you, but you can’t blame me. Hell, I wish you could kill me to make it stop.”))

voiceinthemists ((The word 'kill’ sends a shock through Zane, bringing back vivid, vicious memories. For the first time in months, he can clearly remember how the voice had sounded. It was clearly Ati’s voice, and Zane grips the blade harder, cutting slightly into his little finger where he overshot the handle. But at the same time, it wasn’t Ati’s voice at all. It was too… too dark. Too low, too confident, too bloodthirsty. It was the voice of someone who would never be caught dead with eyes like those, almost pleading. Ash and Mist pad sprightly over to them, having managed to make their way down from the roof.

“What do you mean?” Zane hisses, leaning down closer to Ati’s face.))

notruin ((Ati is shaking. He looks terrified, and Zane’s right; seeing Ruin like that would be some kind of disrupt of nature, it just would /not/ happen. Ruin was fearless and harsh–Ati, even though he put up the act all the time, was neither of those things.

“I …” He chokes back a frightened sob. “That Shard was forced into my hands. I wasn’t anything like it before! And even though I’m not it anymore, it still makes me do bad … bad things …” He’s really starting to cry now. “It doesn’t make me kill anymore, but it still uses my body for terrible things.”))

voiceinthemists ((Zane leans off a little bit, confused, but he keeps the blade at Ati’s neck. “What do you mean, 'Shard’?”))

notruin ((He takes a breath when he leans back. “It’s a lot to explain, but Ruin is a /power/. It has an Intent, and it took control of my body and my personality to fulfill its purpose. It hurt me just as terribly as everyone else, but God, I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”))

voiceinthemists ((It takes a few moments for Zane to understand what Ati is saying. He thought Ruin was just another name for Ati, like Rashek and the Lord Ruler, but are they… two different things?

Mist trots over to Ati’s side and bats him with a paw, letting out a distinct, kindly meow. Ash sits on its haunches abruptly, as if to signal disapproval. Mist wasn’t as easy to train as Ash, but it’s far enough along, smarter in any case than going around prodding at enemies.

Zane finds himself lifting the blade, though his knee still sits on Ati’s stomach. “Why should I believe you?”))

notruin ((Ati doesn’t react much to the cat, but he looks at it for a second.

He also has no idea how to make Zane believe him. “… I have no proof other than telling you what its made me do, but you’re here to kill me, not hear my sob story.”))

voiceinthemists ((Mist baps Ati’s arm with its head and sits down. Hadn’t Mist been one of Sazed’s cats? Sazed, the /good/ God who speaks to MeLaan and had… taken Ati’s power, or something…

“I’m here to scare you,” Zane says. “Killing you is optional.”))

notruin ((Ati doesn’t really know what to do about this cat. He pats it, but hesitantly–every move he makes is stiff, and he’s clearly on edge. “I appreciate that, Zane, but trust me, I’ve been in constant fear and on the verge of panic for weeks now. Someone else beat you to the job.”))

voiceinthemists ((Zane frowns and just studies Ati’s face in silence. He’s good at spotting lies; he’d done nothing his entire life than spy and kill for his father, and had become adept at telling the other spy-servants from the real ones. But the hollows under Ati’s eyes are nearly impossible to fake, and Zane feels that the only reason he recognizes the haunted look in Ati’s gaze is that he knows intimately what has caused it.

Ruin… Ruin was the thing that had driven him insane. Ati had only been its horse. And the pain of it had made him bowbacked and frail.

Zane puts away his blades and stands up, still examining Ati as though he’s seeing somebody completely new.))

notruin ((Ati looks surprised that he pulled back. Was he actually listening? He couldn’t tell–Zane was too stoic a person to have his emotions read like that. But he does see a slight change in posture, as if Zane’s less apt to suddenly pounce on him.

He bites his lip, speaking softly to the point where it’s almost inaudible. “I’m sorry, Zane. I know that thing almost destroyed you. It destroyed me. If I could do something to change it, somehow go back and make sure you had a better life, I would. In a heartbeat.”))

voiceinthemists ((The words remind Zane of Szeth. Szeth doesn’t speak often, but when they do, they speak softly, and they say things that are monumentally important. Szeth, too, had been broken in a manner that completely changed them. Just like Zane had.

Just like Ati had.

Zane offers Ati his hand.))

notruin ((It takes Ati a moment to reach up and take it. He’s being overwhelmed with horribe memories. Ruin, mainly, how he was before, Rayse, just everything crashing down in a mess of emotion because of his frantic explanations to Zane.

He shouldn’t be feeling sorry for himself, he keeps thinking–Zane went through hell too, and this was about him, not about Ati. It wasn’t a time for him to fall into a pit of anxiety and self-loathing.

But he does take his hand. He stumbles a bit, the cuts stinging. “… Thank you.”))

voiceinthemists ((Zane doesn’t have much experience accepting thanks, so he frowns in response and pockets his hands. He gives Ati another once-over.

“Do you fight?” he asks.))

notruin ((“Uh… no. Not really.” Ati blinks at him, still pretty shaken. “I’ve always avoided fighting. Leras was the fighter before we got our Shards.”))

voiceinthemists ((“It helps,” he says awkwardly. “It’s… the closest thing there is to having control.”))

notruin ((Ati nods. He can’t understand that since he isn’t a violent person, but he knows that’s how some people cope. “…Maybe I should try that sometime. I suppose in most cases I’m too frightened to fight.”))

voiceinthemists ((Somehow it makes more sense to Zane that Ruin would be something formless and evil. If there’s one thing he knows about people, it’s that they’re fallible. Even the Lord Ruler was killed in the end, after all. A person couldn’t consistently tell him to murder, not as perfectly and as often as Ruin had. It feels a little like he’s finally found a piece of the puzzle that he never knew was missing.

“I could go easy on you,” he offers vaguely, fishing a coin out of his pouch. “Whenever.”))

notruin ((Ati’s confused by that. He’s offering to fight him? He knew Zane liked to fight, but hadn’t they just … made up? Kinda? He shrugs.

“Okay. Well, I probably need to go get these cuts healed now. But … thank you, Zane. For listening.”))

voiceinthemists ((“Stop sending me things about sex.” With that, Zane drops the coin and Pushes away, Ash darting off after him. Mist hangs back long enough to rub its flank on Ati before following.))

notruin ((Ati leans down to pat Mist before it bounds off after Zane, chuckling to himself. Sure, he can do that, but Zane didn’t say anything about sending him other memes.))

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