#notrue

been getting a lot of nightmares lately. well twice in two consecutive weeks. which is weird. b/c i rarely get the, and this often. both times it had something to do with the people i know around me drowning to death. 

1st: it was yen, she had a child out of wedlock and some people were after her kids or her. i’m not sure. we were in a house, i was there with her. after she had her kid, moments later she jumped off the balcony and landing face down in the pool that was on the first floor. i thought to myself there’s no way she’d live. but then i got  a phone call from her. i thought must be the phone malfunctioning. and i don't want to talk to a dead person right now. so i didn’t pick it up. i went on with my day as if nothing happened. Then later jenny walked in and was in shocked that she saw yen’s body floating in the pool ans asked me what had happened. i told her yen jumped. but i didn’t call the cops or anything. jenny said she just did. and the whole crime unite showed up. they checked the calling records and saw that i was the last person yen called. they asked me what that was about since it was pretty close to time of death. i said i saw her jumped and that her phone must have malfunctioned. idk b/c i didn’t pick up. that puts me on the top of the suspect this. -end 

2nd. this was yesterday. i dreamt that i went to lab. but my prof. didn’t show, and no one seemed to wonder why she was missing. we had another dr. to fill in and went on with our day. i just had a really bad feeling but i didn’t tell anyone. while we were in lab, we had the news on. breaking news, they could a woman that matches my prof. descriptions. she was murdered, her legs were tied and she was thrown under the bridge. they just recently found her body as it flat to sore. we were all in shock. and i felt so sick. then we continued on. like it was just anyone on the news. i was so mad at everyone. how could they just not care, how could they not be sad. so i came into someone’s office and released my frustration. i was yelling at that person, tears almost dripping down my face.that’s when i woke up.  -oh and i saw the face of the person that was on the news. although it matches the description of my missing prof. it was the face of the old optometrist i used to work with. i hope she’s okay. me prof was okay, i saw her bright and early yesterday. 

Maybe you’ll come back

Maybe you won’t

You’re the one I want

But it’s hard to choose

I feel confused

One day I love you, the next day I don’t

Is it me or is it you

Tell me what to do

I try my best not to lose you, but yet again I force you to

It might be me that tries to push you away

But for some reason you don’t go away

I can tell you fell in love with me

Just by the way you look at me