#notnormalpeople

I'm out of the norm since the day I was born 

I figured my first post should be memorable and show you who I am as a person. Well, lucky for me, I have a story. My friend and I had been kayaking all day and so when she dropped me off I was sure I had an awful sunburn. I decided to investigate the damage and made my way to the bathroom to look in the mirror. In the midst of my self-loathing I heard three loud bangs, and slightly startled I rushed to my bedroom window to see if anything was there. I didn't see anything so I decided it must have been a bird. Now sitting in my bedroom I hear the noise again but ignore it, because apparently subconsciously I want to get robbed. Now the third time, I'm getting nervous and decided to see what's going on—but no, I can't do this like a normal human. No, I instead stealthily dove across the hallway and pressed my body up against the wall, only to hear the noise again. At this point I lay down on the ground and army crawl across our hardwood floors all the way to the other end of the house where my parents bedroom is. I then catapult myself across their bed, landing beside their window which looks out on our back deck. I hear the noise even louder now and I quickly take hold of the curtains, and with the most determined and abrupt warrior cry I yank the curtains wide open with this crazed look. And standing on my back deck is my 60 something neighbor working on our electricity. AND ALL HE DOES IS STARE AT ME FOR A GOOD FIVE SECONDS AND THEN JUST SMILE AND WAVE. To make things worse, instead of smiling back and apologizing like a sane person, I instead slowly close the curtains without breaking eye contact, and at an equally slow pace crouch down to the ground, because at this point, why not? So anyways, that's how I met my new neighbor.

Sometimes I wonder, what would a normal person do.