#notlaughing

It was over a week ago now that I walked into The Comics Lounge, bought myself a beer and sat down to enjoy a night of laughter. It was a work break up after a long term of teaching. After a promising start by the compere, the first act appeared, hailed as one of Australia's most successful comedians. I don't want to use the word offended. I was obviously, but I'm not sure that's even the point. I know why this comedian said the things he said. He clearly lacks the intelligence and wit required to make people laugh without the use of shock. And it was shocking. It was shocking to hear so much laughter and see such little protest  or discomfort in the audience as we listened to the most intensely graphic and casually violent descriptions of rape I've ever heard. And not that I should need to clarify but it wasn't one rape joke. It was a rape set.

I sat paralysed in my chair - wanting to heckle, wanting to cry, wanting to leave; but not wanting to be "that girl". That girl who can't take a joke. That girl who needs to chill out. That girl who ruined the staff party. When I finally got the courage up to stand up and walk through a dark crowd of smiling faces I joined my friend in the bar who had left before me, also having heard quite enough. And thanks to her, I was reminded that I totally want to be that girl. That girl who is strong enough to stand up for what she believes in. That girl who can speak up despite a seemingly overwhelming lack of agreement or support. That girl who wants to create change. And after a week of not being able to think of much else, I decided to post this.

FREE SPEECH... REALLY?

Honestly, I've laughed at politically incorrect shit before. I don't believe in censorship, or banning comedians from speaking about taboo topics. What I do believe in is our right and obligation as a society to reinforce our community standards and values. I tried on a number of occasions to calmly and legitimately object to this content and make my feelings and opinions known. On each occasion I was silenced and shamed by all of the staff at the Comics Lounge, sometimes aggressively so. After becoming increasingly frustrated, the comedian himself arrived at the bar for a celebratory drink after what he clearly thought was a ripper set. I approached him, smiled, shook his hand and introduced myself. I wanted to explain my situation and my objection. I wanted to ask for his explanation. I got eight words out before he rolled his eyes told me in no uncertain terms he did not care and he turned his back on me. If this is an argument about the right to free speech, then why was I repeatedly denied mine? My calm disintegrated and I quietly uttered some words to this man I'm not proud of. I was asked to leave the venue.

I will not say his name here. I can hear him raving about the free publicity in the same sickening voice he used to tell me I was worth nothing.

Since the argument for free speech is an easy justification for the violence and misogyny this man was spouting, how about an argument about free space? I did not have the opportunity to research this comedian, nor did I pay for a ticket to see him. He was selected by the comics lounge, and not advertised on their website. He was the first comedian on, around 8pm on a Thursday Night. Surely I should not have accidentally walked into that. Nor should the 1 in 3 females or 1 in 6 males who are sexually abused before the age of 16. If this is the type of content that is considered mainstream enough to feature in a random assortment of our "best" comedians, then this is an issue so prevalent, and so ignored in our society that it is completely overwhelming.

I don't know what I'm going to do about that. But I know what I'm not going to do. I'm not going back to The Comics Lounge. Ever. And I'm not going to shut up. 

#NotLaughing

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