#nothing different

My body after one pill and a half of clonazepam:

i hate it so much when neurotypicals say they wanna have a hyperfixation or know what it feels like, it so fucking annoying and ignorant. like i lose so much sleep because of my hyperfixation on tubbo, i literally skipped school today because i stayed up almost all night just to stay in his stream, even though he was literally just watching a show with little bits of commentary. i forget to eat because of it, i forget to drink water, to go shower, to do hw, to do everyday normal things. ive been so tired latley and i have to have my friends spam me if tubbo goes live because i don't wanna miss a second of it. i remember when i missed about an hour or two of tubbos stream and i had an actual breakdown because of it, my attention span is too fucked so i knew i wouldn't be able to watch the vod, so missing that one to two hours of content meant the fucking world to me, i felt like i was being dramatic, i still feel like i am. i hate it so much. i just want to live my life without having to worry if he's going to go live, i want to not be overly happy whenever he does go live, i feel like im an obsessive creepy fan and i hate it so much. i want it to stop so badly but i know i can't stop it. it fucking sucks so much.