#nothanksweregood

"niall," says zayn softly, still not sure if touching is a good idea. this is so heartbreaking for him. "niall, babe," he murmurs, "sunshine... what's wrong? are you in pain?"

"'m fine, just a bad dream, nothin' t' worry about."

zayn looks crushed,  "you're crying, niall, you were screaming in your sleep." cautiously, he sits down on the edge of niall’s bed

“no, it's fine, honest, louis'll tell you, it happens all the time it's -” niall realises abruptly that that was probably not the right thing to say.

zayn is silent. "what about?" he asks softly

"what?" says niall, not meeting his eyes.

"what are your nightmares about? "

" just - y'know, things. the. me old pack, like."

“oh niall,” zayn says, voice breaking, “why didn’t you tell me?”

niall shrugs, still not looking up. “didn’t want t’ bother you, i reckon.”

zayn not being able to keep himself back from reaching out and - slowly, so niall can always see his hands, gathering niall up in a warm hug, not too tightly just yet. “you’re never bothering me, sunshine,” he murmurs. “i swear, niall, never.”

niall doesn’t say anything, but his hands come up and he grasps at zayn’s shirt, choking a muffled sob into zayn’s shoulder.

louis getting back, after that first nightmare he was gone for, having broken about forty traffic regulations to get home that same night, and bursting into the room to find zayn holding niall bridal style in his lap, harry holding one of niall’s hands. running over to the bed, peppering kisses all over niall's face, 'babe, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry nialler, i should have been here, are you okay?'

and then in the next couple weeks harry having sympathetic nightmares and creeping into niall's room late at night, tears screwing up his face, and nuzzling into niall's side, falling asleep with his hand resting over niall’s heart because he needs to feel the steady, untroubled beat.

louis sleeping outside of niall's door for a week after the whole thing, just on the off-chance that niall would have another nightmare. he’d have to wait until niall was asleep so he could sneak out with his blanket and curl up on the floor outside. zayn finding him there for the sixth night in a row and shaking his head so, so fondly and reaching down to pull him up, dragging him back to bed and tucking him in with the softest brush of a kiss.

niall wandering around like a zombie the next day with bags under his eyes, refusing to meet any of their gazes. they always try to get him to talk about it but he never does, always seems hushed and hesitant and - the worst thing is when harry goes to give him a cuddle and niall flinches away, like he forgot where he is for a second; like he forgot who harry is.

and then the first time it happens when liam is there.

liam - as latest addition to the pack, who’s only been there a couple months - sleeps lightly, always had to be aware of sounds and danger - he's only just learning to sleep through harry’s snoring and the way louis passes liam’s room to go to the bathroom in the night. so when there's a distinctive but quiet whimper from niall’s room, he sits bolt upright. when another comes, a little louder, liam gets out of bed and goes to check.

by the time he gets there, the smell of fear is overpowering. niall is curled up with his teeth sunk into his pillow, shaking and crying and it’s the worst thing liam’s ever seen (and liam’s seen some less-than-great stuff). he has no idea what to do so obviously he runs to louis-and-zayn’s room and wakes them up. normally he would hate doing that but it's for niall, isn’t it?

louis seems immediately quite awake and concerned when liam shakes him; zayn just seems grumpy and tired, until they hear why liam’s here. zayn’s face goes serious. he turns to louis.

louis has leapt into action, already heading for the door. "zayn, go get a glass of water for him, i'll go in and wake him up."

“what's going on?” liam wants to ask, but instead he follows louis back to niall’s room.

the waking up process is awful, because niall doesn't seem to realise he's awake, at first, and he struggles against louis, lashes out - when louis says, "niall, petal, it's just me, no one is here to hurt you," niall breaks into terrible sobs. he lets louis gather him up this time, clings to him, really, and liam just. stands there feeling useless and confused and so so sad that niall is this upset. liam doesn't know niall’s history - has definitely never seen niall this upset before. zayn comes back upstairs with the glass of water louis asked for; rests it unobtrusively on the dresser and puts a hand on liam's shoulder. "c'mon," he tells liam very softly. "we just need to wait. louis'll call us."

so the two of them, joined by harry a couple minutes later looking sad and still sleepy, sit out in the hall. let louis talk niall down. in a hushed voice, zayn explains to liam some of what happened to niall, what his first pack was like. liam’s first experiences with packs was pretty awful too, but nothing to what zayn’s telling him about niall’s. has never felt so gut-wrenchingly, lovingly hurt for someone else, ever, in his life; s'poses he's never been close enough to anyone for it. it fills him with a kind of courage but it's also so, so painful.

it’s at least a half hour later when louis calls softly that they can come in. they’re all a little hesitant, because sometimes niall doesn’t want to see anyone right after a really bad nightmare, but when they’re all inside niall looks up from where he’s lying back against louis’ chest, looking exhausted but mostly peaceful, and stretches out his arms. harry nearly trips and falls face first onto the carpet, recovering enough to scramble onto the bed instead, clinging fiercely around niall’s waist. “love you,” he says into niall’s stomach. “love you so much.”

zayn sits on the edge of the bed, leaning in to press a long kiss to niall’s forehead. “y’alright, babes?” he asks, gentle, glancing at louis to include him in the question. louis gives him a half smile back; looks almost more worn out than niall. louis frees one hand from where it’s trapped between harry and niall and reaches out to zayn, gripping tight.

liam hesitates at the foot of the bed, not quite knowing where he fits. he reaches out, rests a hand on niall’s ankle. “can i - is there anything i can do to help you?”

niall shakes his head, tilts his head up against louis’ chest pleadingly. louis rubs a thumb across niall’s stomach in response, says to liam, “niall doesn’t usually feel up to talking just yet, but he’d love a good liam-cuddle.”

harry rolls over to make room, and niall settles an arm tightly around liam as he rests his head on niall’s thigh, careful to avoid his bad knee.

“c’mon, zayn, plenty of room yet,” louis says, light, and slides them down so they’re lying flat, the outside edge left for zayn.