notadrde replied to your post: @ahellofapilot i canât reply because youâre on...
Pelor isnât inherently judgy, and they were let in because none of them were evil, but itâs also worth stepping back and remembering that none of them have a close relationship with him like Pike does with Sarenrae or Vax does with the raven queen. Pelor is Neutral Good, meaning heâs motivated only be the cause of good as it stands against evil. Heâs also way more powerful than Sarenrae, which is why he retains so many angels, but hereâs the thing about D&D angels - ½
notadrde replied to your post: @ahellofapilot i canât reply because youâre on...
2/2 is that theyâre ALL Lawful Good, regardless of the alignment of the deity they serve, because they are profoundly obedient to those higher powers. So if youâre effectively a rando walking up to Pelorâs place, you canât go in if youâre evil, because alignment is somewhat tangible in DnD and angels could conceivably sense that. I donât think itâs judgy for a deity to care where people stand in the cosmic good/evil conflict when that conflict is one of their things.
okay fair. itâs totally reasonable to keep evil people out. iâm just trying to say that pelor and his angels INSTANTLY rubbed me the wrong way - mostly because of that sense of JUDGMENT. thereâs a difference between trying to figure out if someone is evil and preventing an evil person from coming into your godâs hall, and actively sneering at a person because you donât think theyâre really good enough but *technically* theyâre not evil so i *guess* they can come in.
i also understand the âthis is just some group of randosâ but the problem was NOT with confronting them/guarding the hall - it was the sneering, the disdain, the sense that pelorâs angels didnât really think vox machina were good enough for him. and pelor himself did a lot of âyouâre not really good enough for meâ when it came to belief and champions - the whole speech about the âfaithlessâ was a little on the nose, as was the âi have many champions alreadyâ thing. like... okay thatâs fine, thatâs fair, you donât want to be served by people who donât actually care for you, and you already have people who do care and whom you already trust - but pelor made it sound like an accusation against vox machina for *not* worshipping.
also just... like i mentioned earlier, the golden halls, the fact that he sits in this golden throne room in a giant golden castle.... i know matt was trying to invoke  sense of grandeur, and when it comes to religious grandeur, most westerners really only have cathedrals as something to compare with. but. it just - it was like listening to the pastor preach about sin again.
and THAT was the worst part - when vex had finally barreled into the endgame and was floating in silence and matt said this trial was designed to âburn away sinâ - it hurt. i actually felt my heart sink into my stomach when he said âsinâ and iâd already been kinda mad at pelor and that just clinched it. because sin isnât.....
look sin is a pretty christian thing. no other religion has a concept of sin that works like christianityâs - not even JEWISH concepts of sin fit the christian idea. sin in christianity is basically this evil taint that infects all people from the beginning of existence and that you canât escape and you canât get away from, and the only way to get rid of it is to be purified by jesus. like. youâre responsible for it, but youâre spiritually incapable of stopping it from happening.
and yeah, okay, matt only said the word âsinâ which could have been a translation of a lot of other things - but christian sin fit in so well with the whole christian-like atmosphere, the cathedral feeling, the sense of judgment - and for ME PERSONALLY, because of my experiences with the church, it really, really hurt.
especially when the next thing matt gave vex was âwhat if youâre not good enough, what if you werenât worthy, is this what oblivion feels likeâ and do you know how many YEARS i spent as a child worried that i wasnât good enough for god and KNOWING i wasnât good enough for god because my pastors and teachers constantly told me so, and being afraid that i didnât believe enough to go to heaven and how long itâs taken me to finally come to a space where i can feel good about myself and sometimes i STILL WORRY ABOUT SIN even though iâm atheist.
and then the implication behind âwhat is she to youâ for me was not âhey, tell me how cool my champion isâ but instead âif you donât give me what i want to hear iâm just gonna let her die and/or reject herâ like. the whole sequence felt like pelor judging vex and keyleth and vox machina for not believingÂ
yeah iâm probably experiencing a knee-jerk reaction right now, and thereâs a good chance that after we see more of vex and pelor interacting iâll change my mind again and feel better about it, but right now iâm just. iâm so mad at pelor iâm so mad at how that episode/game was supposed to be a cool uplifting âYEAH VEX IS CHAMPION OF PELOR THIS IS SO NEATâ moment and instead it just made me feel small and sinful and miserable, like iâm fucking eight years old again.
(again please donât think iâm mad at you or matt or anyone in particular - iâm probably overreacting and i KNOW how dnd works i just...... i have a lot of complicated emotions right now)