#not fluid

My middle name used to be ‘pathetic’; it has since changed to ‘self-assured’. I miss brilliance and constantly humming streetlight manifesto: “and the story goes like this…”

I woke up this morning, my hair a mess, my coffee cold and stale, and I sat and played Sudoku. And I wrote. And as I was writing, wearing my Mickey Mouse pajamas and drinking mug after mug of coffee disguised strategically with french vanilla creamer, I realized that these are the good old days. I don’t remember feeling this good in a long time. I feel great, wonderful, remarkable. I have the world in my hands; it feels great. My insecurities are sky high, but they’re manageable. I found another grey hair today. Can you imagine? Twenty years old and I have multiple grey hairs.

The feeling of skin on skin is so intimate, even if it’s a hand graze. I miss my cat, I love my Zune, and crossword puzzles. I also enjoy playing Where’s Waldo? and watching I Love Lucy. I do not think time exists.