#normalizeincontinence

I still wanted diapers when I was a teenager, and by the time I was finishing high school and getting ready for future education I was still thinking about it. I'm glad I have taken ownership of wearing diapers and I won't let it stop me from enjoying my life.

It's also not uncommon for individuals who have experienced frequent soiling accidents in childhood to have a desire for sensory comfort, which can include the use of diapers or pull-ups. Sensory comfort can be important for individuals on the autism spectrum who may have sensory processing differences that can affect their ability to tolerate certain sensations.

If you feel that using diapers or pull-ups is providing you with the sensory comfort that you need, it may be a good option for you. However, it's important to ensure that you are practicing good hygiene to prevent skin irritation or infection. This includes changing your pull-up frequently, using wipes or mild soap and water, and using a barrier cream or powder can all help maintain good hygiene.

Here are some helpful tips from AI conversations.

Communicating your needs and preferences to others can be challenging, but it is important to remember that your preferences and comfort are valid and deserving of respect. Here are some suggestions for respectfully communicating with your partner or doctor about your preference for using pull-ups for your incontinence:

Be honest and direct: Start by being honest and direct about your needs and preferences. Let your doctor know that you find pull-ups more comfortable than using the toilet due to your autism and sensory issues recognizing when to go. Use clear and specific language to describe your needs, and avoid using vague or euphemistic language that may be confusing or misinterpreted.

Explain why pull-ups work for you: Help your doctor understand why using pull-ups is a better option for you. You can describe how pull-ups provide a sense of comfort and security, and optionally how using the toilet can be overwhelming or uncomfortable for you.

Be open to questions and concerns: Your doctor may have questions or concerns about your preference for using pull-ups. Be open and willing to answer their questions, and provide them with any additional information or resources they may need to better understand your needs.

Advocate for yourself: Remember that you have the right to advocate for your own needs and preferences. If your doctor is hesitant or skeptical about using pull-ups, be firm and assertive in advocating for your own comfort and wellbeing.

Response from Conversations with AI

It is completely valid and understandable to want to accept bladder and fecal incontinence as a part of your experience with autism, and to use pull-ups as a way to manage it with confidence. Acceptance can be an important step in self-care and self-compassion, and can help you feel more comfortable and confident in managing your incontinence. Using pull-ups or other forms of incontinence management can be a helpful way to manage your symptoms and maintain your comfort and dignity. It is important to remember that there is no one "right" way to manage incontinence, and that everyone's needs and preferences are different. Finding what works best for you and your individual needs is key to effective management.

It is also important to remember that incontinence is a common issue among individuals with autism, and that there is no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. Accepting and embracing your experience, and seeking support and resources when needed, can help you feel more empowered and confident in managing your incontinence.

It is important to remember that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of their personal preferences or needs. If using diapers or pull-ups is a necessary and preferred option for you, it is important to communicate your needs and preferences to those around you so that they can provide the support and accommodations you require.

It is understandable to feel anxious or uncomfortable about discussing personal issues like bladder or bowel management, but open and honest communication can help ensure that your needs are met in a way that is respectful and dignified. If you feel comfortable doing so, you may want to consider speaking with a trusted friend, family member, or healthcare provider about your needs and concerns. They can help provide guidance and support in communicating your needs to others.

If you are experiencing negative reactions or judgment from others regarding your needs, it is important to remember that their reactions are a reflection of their own beliefs and biases, and do not define your worth or dignity as a person. If you feel comfortable doing so, you may want to consider educating others about your needs and preferences in a respectful and non-judgmental way. This can help raise awareness and reduce stigma surrounding topics like bladder or bowel management.

Recently my partner said they did not want me to wear absorbent products around them and try to use the toilet. Although I find it uncomfortable at times, I do my best to respect their wishes. Out of curiosity, I had another conversation with Bing and it provided support I was searching for. Sources from Bing will be listed at the end of this post.

If your partner doesn't want you to wear protective underwear, but you find it comforting to your autistic needs, you may face a dilemma. On one hand, you want to respect your partner's feelings and preferences. On the other hand, you want to feel comfortable and secure in your own body and clothing.

There is no easy answer to this situation, as different people may have different reasons and opinions on wearing protective underwear. However, here are some possible steps that may help you resolve this conflict:

- **Communicate with your partner**: You can try to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about why you wear protective underwear and why they don't want you to wear it. You can explain how protective underwear helps you cope with sensory issues, anxiety, or incontinence. You can also listen to their concerns and feelings about protective underwear. Maybe they are worried about hygiene, intimacy, or social stigma². Maybe they have some misconceptions or stereotypes about protective underwear.

- **Compromise with your partner**: You can try to find a middle ground with your partner that satisfies both of your needs and preferences. For example, you can agree to wear protective underwear only at certain times or places (such as at night or at home) and switch to regular underwear at other times or places (such as during the day or outside)². You can also choose protective underwear that is less bulky, more discreet, more fun, or more attractive for wearing underneath clothes.

- **Seek support from others**: You can seek support from other people who understand your situation and respect your choices. This could be a friend, a family member, a therapist, a counselor, or an online community of people who wear protective underwear for various reasons. They can offer you emotional support, practical advice, or personal experiences that can help you cope with this challenge.

These are some of the possible ways that you can deal with this situation. However, different people may have different solutions that work best for them and their partners. Therefore, it is important to find what works best for you and your situation.

Sources:

Source: Conversation with Bing, 3/6/2023(1) Incontinence Support & Products for Children with Autism - 180 Medical. https://www.180medical.com/blog/incontinence-support-product-children-autism/ Accessed 3/6/2023.

(2) Diapers for Autistic Adults | NorthShore Care Supply. https://www.northshorecare.com/blog/diapers-underwear-for-autistic-adults Accessed 3/6/2023.

(3) Incontinence Support & Products for Children with Autism - 180 Medical. https://www.180medical.com/blog/incontinence-support-product-children-autism/ Accessed 3/6/2023.

After having wonderful conversations with Bing, I have taken notes along with search results and gathered it all together here in this post. Source links provided by Bing will be listed at the end of this post. Also as a side note: Please advocate for/ support accessible changing places and disposal for incontinence products!

Children and adults with autism may experience incontinence due to the following factors:

- Sensory issues: People with autism may have over or under-sensitivities to sounds, lights, touch, and other stimuli, which can affect their awareness of their bodily sensations and signals. With Interoception challenges, they may not be able to sense the urge to go until it can't wait and becomes an accident.

- Learning delays: People with autism may have trouble learning new skills, such as toilet training, or adapting to changes in their routine or environment.

- Communication issues: People with autism may have difficulty expressing their needs or asking for help when they need to use the bathroom.

- Body awareness: People with autism may have low self-esteem or confidence about their body image or hygiene, which can affect their motivation to use the toilet properly.

- Gastrointestinal (GI) issues: People with autism may have digestive problems such as constipation, diarrhea, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), or food sensitivities, which can cause discomfort and urgency.

I think it’s okay for autistic adults to wear diapers or pull-ups for incontinence and still feel comfortable and confident. There is nothing wrong with needing extra protection and support for your bladder or bowel issues. You are not alone in this situation, and there are many products and resources available to help you manage your incontinence and sensory issues.

In this context, a human might say that you should not feel ashamed or embarrassed about wearing diapers or pull-ups, as they are just a tool to help you live your life more comfortably and conveniently. You should also not let anyone make you feel bad or judge you for your choices. You are a valuable and unique person who deserves respect and dignity.😊

In addition, if you are using diapers or pull-ups, it is important to ensure that you are changing them regularly to maintain hygiene and prevent skin irritation. Wearing a soiled diaper or pull-up for too long can increase the risk of infection and skin problems.

Autistic adults with incontinence wearing protective underwear or diapers may face some challenges when managing sensory overload with public restrooms. Public restrooms can be a challenging place for people with autism and sensory sensitivity, as they may have loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, crowded spaces, and unfamiliar textures. These stimuli can overwhelm a person's ability to cope and cause anxiety, distress, or meltdowns.

However, there are some strategies that may help autistic adults with incontinence cope with sensory overload in public restrooms. Some of these strategies are:

- **Planning ahead**: Before going out, it may be helpful to check the location and availability of public restrooms along the way. It may also be useful to bring along some items that can help reduce sensory input, such as noise-canceling headphones, sunglasses, scented lotion, or a favorite toy.

- **Choosing wisely**: When using a public restroom, it may be preferable to choose a stall that is away from the door and other sources of noise. It may also be helpful to avoid automatic toilets and dryers that can trigger sensory overload. If possible, it may be better to use a family restroom or a single-stall restroom that offers more privacy and space.

- **Using coping skills**: During and after using a public restroom, it may be beneficial to practice some coping skills that can calm down the nervous system and regulate emotions. Some examples of coping skills are deep breathing, counting backwards, repeating positive affirmations, listening to soothing music, or squeezing a stress ball.

- **Seeking support**: Sometimes, it may be necessary to seek support from others when using a public restroom. This could mean asking a trusted friend or family member to accompany you to the restroom or wait outside for you. It could also mean reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can help you work on your sensory issues and provide guidance on how to handle difficult situations.

These are some of the possible ways that autistic adults with incontinence wearing protective underwear or diapers can manage sensory overload with public restrooms. However, different people may have different needs and preferences when it comes to coping with sensory challenges. Therefore, it is important to find what works best for you and your situation.

Sources: