#normal superman

(I love this au so much)

Adding onto my alien reversal au, here are some things Bruce doesn’t understand because well, he’s a big blob of alien.

1: He doesn’t understand humans aging.

For instance alfred and Gordon, the two obviously get older with time, grey hair maybe they slouch more and they become more weary but Bruce doesn’t understand??

He panics when he sees the obvious white in Gordons hair and then sees it happening to Alfred too (What exactly is this aliens lifespan?? hmmm… think like an elf, he just ages really, really slow, time can pass but he’ll never know.)

Which leads to a very complicated discussion about human lifespans, alfred having to hold Bruce and shush him and promise, promise he won’t ever leave Bruce.

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2: Bruce doesn’t understand-boundaries.

Period.

Normal bruce doesn’t either but what can you do? Bruce is the type of alien to stick his whole hand into a cheesecake just to see how it feels because woah, cheese mixed with a cake.

Tim can’t stomach cheesecake after that incident.

Or:

Bruce huddling all his children into a nest like space because he’s instinct henning and, hey apparently this includes gordon’s daughter Barbara and Kate and— so many other humans they’ve never met?! Alfred is exasperated when it’s over.

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3: Bruce has no concept of gender and quite frankly doesn’t care.

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And to expand on this Au, what about the villains and heroes?

I guess to say atlantis and the Amazonians would still exist but quietly, Bruce technically would be allowed on the island considering his no concept of gender whole thing and the fact the amazonians can’t even dub what he is.

atlantis would be as peaceful as possible ignoring mantis and Aquaman’s brother who would remain villains for the sake of the drive and plot, aquaman only not destroying land because somehow his pseudo son (Aqualad) befriended one of these human kids (Guess which bat kid it was.)

And for the villains, catwoman would still be a thief, a pickpocket but without the batman, she doesn’t have to dress as a weird cat to do it, she just, thieves normally.

Two face would just be harvey dent but with either a DID or bipolar disorder struggling NOT to lose his license whenever he changes mood, having to flip a coin to act on his decisions and having slight bouts of paranoia and anxiety.

He would have an assistant called edward nygma who likes to distract him from his panic manic with random questions and riddles.

Lex luthor is the same, except he’s running an anonymous ‘ALIENS EXIST’ youtube channel and reddit, with semi blurry pictures of Bruce and a ‘I hate that reporter Clark kent.’ account.

Poison Ivy would just be a really active eco friendly girl running a flower shop and totally not laundering the money to help her girl Harley quinn.

And Joker? Well he’s still insane, he’d be an alien hunter, crazed out his mind, i wouldn’t change him much except for the fact he’d go to wild lengths to capture Bruce and prove his existence, dawn him on a stage and dangle him off like an actual bat.

He probably went mad from the lack of people believing him or the fact there’s an alien in his city, either way, he would still harm people to do it and would still end up in the same ‘Joker’ position either way, he would still hurt everybody.

Damian would still be conceived the same way but he’s a little half alien and Bruce would love him very much and Damian might pick up on his father’s instincts for instance, except in the animal variety. (Damian would kidnap so many human animals)

Thus how they get their pets.

As for hal jordan?

He just wishes this alien would stop kidnapping humans and causing trouble for the green lantern corps

(HES TIRED)

Basically superheroes do exist but i’m taking the trauma away from the villains and trying to redeem SOME of them, for instance the flash family would still exist and so would green arrow, heroes are needed after all, but these villains live day to day lives.

(With the occasional, ‘are you being good?’ from Bruce and gordon)

Like he’s his brother’s twin. Kon, Connor (The Kon with the spiked jackets not this aggressive toned down version of him.) but like the two are separate, twins.

And Well it would just be a really funny mental picture if Luthor did make twins and just kept one and named it connor as well because it’s a backup in case the other dies so why name it something different?

But the two couldn’t be more DIFFERENT, one is short, ‘clearly gay but we haven’t had the talk yet’ if anybody gets that little reference with a more slighty tuned down punk aesthetic. (i would call it punk.)

While the other has CLEARLY got no fashion sense, the same shirt twice in a month, no social skills, no charisma and is about as aggressive as a mistreated chihuahua.

So Luthor pulls a ‘i keep this one in the basement and this one by my side.’ move, with Kon, he places for the media, lets him charm his way all he wants while connor? He gets basement duty.

AKA being stuck in a star labs tube for an indefinite time until the temporarily formed group of robin (dick grayson) Kid flash and aqualad come and save him.

And now Luthor’s panicking like ‘oh no?! my basement son got out.’

What do you do then.

He totally wipes Kon from all media and denies it so Connor can make his appearance and shoves Kon in the basement until Tim comes along with HIS YJ team and saves that clone or Kon just pulls the ultimate ‘i’m going to stay with dad!’ move.

And it’s chaos when everyone realises there’s twins.

Superman: What do you mean you had twins??

Luthor: Yeah it was such an exhausting process. (talking about funding the cloning for them, cloning them and getting the dna.)

Superman does not know this: Lex? Lex did you give birth??? (he’s stressing super hard by the way because imagine your arch nemesis or rival or like complete and utterly hated enemy gave birth and you didn’t know and it’s just so like?? I could have held your hand for you lex..)

Superman: ???