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ive been thinking about your posts about nonrealization a lot lately, realizing there was a term that encompassed a few different things like that has been very helpful in helping me process stuff.. a lot about the "parts vs people" kind of topics especially, since i knew before that feeling a certain way about that was a sympton, but tying into the bigger concept like that made it feel a lot more "legitimized" i supposed, especially in trying to get the point of things across. but, that's also why i'm in your inbox right now. i feel like i can effectively argue that aspect of the conversation, but there's like one thing that still almost like.. is keeping me from being able to hold onto things strongly and keep convincing myself

what would you argue in response to like... definitions of being a "person"? because of course things like "personality" or "self" are flexible/can be differently defined enough as it is, and i feel like in some (maybe even a lot of?) peoples cases they might simply be stretching the definition of a "person" (extending to i guess a state of conciousness being enough to qualify) and for me it feels.. kind of hard to battle even with myself about it

I'm glad you found the concept of nonrealization helpful. It's been very helpful for me too.

It's been really helpful for me to have a label for my own experiences; to be able to say, "I'm feeling this way because of nonrealization," or "that part of me is stuck in nonrealization, how can I help them shift perspectives a little?"

It's also been helpful for me to view others with more compassion, when I recognize that they are speaking from a place of nonrealization and that it's not helpful for me to argue with them about their beliefs/feelings. (It's not my job either!)

[ Link for folks who don't know what we're talking about. ]

When we take a big philosophical or existential view of things, the concept of "personhood" does get harder to define. Philosophers have been arguing about this sort of thing forever. But I'm not viewing my experiences with DID through a philosophical, existential, or spiritual lens. I'm viewing my experiences with DID through a psychological lens, where the concept of personhood is more specifically defined.

Every modern scholarly source on DID that I have read affirms that alters are not separate people and are dissociated parts of one whole person. Psychology's perspective is DID is not "multiple people in one body" but a fragmented sense of self.

I have my own struggles with parts who don't realize that they are part of one whole person, and because of that I'm sometimes very triggered by people who share their belief that alters are separate people. Whether it's in dealing with my own parts or other people who are expressing those feelings, I'm working on responding with more compassion and understanding. I do think it is best viewed as another aspect of nonrealization and something that is an expected symptom of DID/OSDD, but also something that many of us are choosing to work on and decrease.

#Nonrealization #ActuallyDID #Parts vs people #Dissociative Identity Disorder

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At the end of the post about nonrealization, you say 'It’s not accurate to say that people with DID who are experiencing nonrealization are delusional'... but why is that? What separates nonrealization from delusions?

I haven’t had any coffee yet, so this isn’t going to be the most eloquent reply.

This is a quote from The Haunted Self:

This nonrealization may reach delusional proportions, but it is merely another type of substitute belief.

I apologize for this being a very trimmed down and out of context quote. The surrounding text is a potentially triggering discussion about specific substitute beliefs and associated behaviors, and I didn’t want to drop that discussion on anyone unprepared.

So it’s not about the intensity or the strength of it, but the underlying mechanics. My other takeaway from what I read was that because nonrealization and substitute beliefs are caused by trauma, and trauma can be addressed, beliefs caused by nonrealization are easier to change than delusions. Delusions are generally considered “fixed and resistant to change”. There are therapies that can help people with delusions, so I’m not saying they are untreatable, but they aren’t treated in the same way. Treating delusions has more to do with teaching people the skills they need to do their own reality testing and analytic reasoning. Treating nonrealization is about looking under the substitute belief and finding out what painful truth could not be realized. Once that truth is realized, the nonrealization fades on it’s own. People dealing with delusions have to constantly exercise their reality testing skills and analytical reasoning to deal with delusions. They don’t just go away when an underlying issue is addressed.

#Nonrealization #Anonymous

thank you for taking the time to talk about non-realisation! i’ve loosely termed this „dual state“ or compared it to schrödinger‘s cat when describing it to my therapist because it can feel like two opposing things are true and not true at the same time. it’s good to see it’s a recognized thing. i feel like knowing the „mechanics“ of how this works could be helpful in learning to find a balance. this makes me feel hopeful

Thanks for your message. I used to talk about it like this too! In therapy I would say things like “I know it’s not real, but it’s real” or “One part is sure it’s real, but another part knows it’s not” or “Sometimes it’s real, and sometimes it’s not real”.

It felt like a big relief when I found the sections in The Haunted Self that explained the mechanics of it in a way that made sense to me.

#nonrealization #Anonymous

I left this out of my other post on nonrealization because I was trying to be at least somewhat concise, but there was one part of the sections on nonrealization that I found really personally interesting. It was about how experiences and perceptions by parts are often mistakenly ranked too high or too low on a “scale of reality”.

And when one dissociative part places an account of an event too high (e.g., an EP who believes she is still in great danger), usually another part places an account of the same event too low in the hierarchy (e.g., an ANP who believes that she was not abused). Placing accounts of reality too low or too high are major forms of nonrealization.

The haunted self: Structural dissociation and the treatment of chronic traumatization.

I realized that this is both incredibly relatable to me personally, and relates to the theory of polarization of parts, which is discussed in IFS therapy. The idea of polarization is that when one part becomes very extreme in their beliefs or perspectives, it pushes other parts to become even more extreme in the opposite belief.

So as in the above example, if I have one part who believes not only that the trauma happened, but that it’s actively happening right now, that can be so distressing to another part that it pushes them to deny the trauma happened at all.

Neither of these parts is experiencing reality. We aren’t actively being abused right now and it’s also not true that we weren’t abused. One part is ranking that memory as too real (it’s happening right now) and the other part is ranking it as not real at all (it never happened). And both these parts are fighting each other so hard that they’re just making each other more and more extreme in their positions. It’s like a spectrum of reality and I’m trying to stay somewhere in this healthy middle where I understand that the abuse did happen, but it’s not happening now.

I experience this kind of nonrealization polarization about a lot of things, even about my diagnosis and the idea of having parts/alters itself. Sometimes being around other people with DID/OSDD who are experiencing nonrealization similar to my own can be trigger severe nonrealization on both ends of that polarization.

(I have no idea if this post will make sense to anyone other than me.)

#ActuallyDID #Dissociative Identity Disorder #Nonrealization #Okay to reblog