#nonbinary prey

Cyanide let out a puff, leaning back from their work. Wiping some sweat from her forehead, they admired the patch of earth they had just tilled with the help of a few other neighbors. Setting up a public food garden was tough work, but once it was finished it would help the community in the area immensely with food costs. Cy had a work hard, take what you need and help others kind of personality, and community work was always the most fulfilling for them. The black enby brushed some loose dirt from their overalls before turning to the group of workers finishing up behind her.

"Alright everyone, great work today! Next step's gonna be getting the fertilizer put down and then it's planting time!" A cheer rose up from the small group of volunteers at their words. The volunteers had been putting their all into this project, and this was just one of many gardens they had set up around the city. Finishing the heavy labor part of the job brought a sigh of relief to everyone as they all started gathering up their tools and got ready to head home.

Cy smiled as she fanned herself, leaning on their hoe for support. They were absolutely drenched, sweat stains running down her back and darkening the pits of their tank top. Summer sure was great for plants but hard on the workers. Lifting her arms up for an experimental sniff check they found themselves quickly pulling away from their blue-dyed armpits as hours of hard work assaulted her nostrils. She laughed as a gentle breeze blew over her, helping to cool her off in this summer heat.

They turned around to start gathering up their tools when they noticed a white woman taking shelter from the sun under the branches of an old oak tree. Her chestnut hair was pulled into a high ponytail, but Cyanide's attention was pulled to the massive belly pushing the front of her dress to its limits. Initially they thought the woman must have eaten someone, but upon closer inspection she realized the woman was simply, and hugely, pregnant. Cy grabbed a cold water bottle from a nearby cooler and made their way over to the woman.

"It's pretty hot out here, y'know. Better stay hydrated!" Cy put on her best smile as she offered the woman the water bottle, piercings twinkling in the summer sun. "My name's Cyanide, but you can call me Cy for short." The fat enby raised an arm to wipe away some more sweat from their forehead, noticing the mystery beauty's eyes dart to their armpit before quickly moving away.

"Thank you, Cy. I really appreciate the water." The pregnant woman uncapped the bottle and took a quick drink. "I might have underestimated just how hot it was today. My name is Peggy, by the way." Cy noticed the woman seemed slightly nervous, so they casually leaned an arm against the tree they were standing under to try and keep the interaction casual. While Peggy was slightly taller than Cy, the enby was considerably fatter and had more presence, so she didn't want to intimidate the nervous woman.

"Hey, no worries! I always keep plenty of extra water, just in case!" Another gentle breeze blew past the two of them and Cy stretched their arms and let out a big sigh. She glanced back at Peggy and noticed the woman's face had turned a bright shade of red. Feeling concerned for the pregnant woman Cy took a small step forward, closing the distance between the two of them. "You're looking pretty red there, Peggy. Do you need help with anything?"

"Please let me eat you!" Peggy spoke with a rushed sort of desperation before blushing even brighter than before. Cyanide blinked as Peggy pushed forward with her explanation. "I'm so sorry, I saw you working and stopped to watch what you were doing, and then the wind took your scent and it gave me the fiercest craving and I was just going to move on but then you came over and all I can smell is you and you smell so nice and I'm so embarrassed!"

Peggy covered her bright red face with her hands in embarrassment as Cy processed the onslaught of information before laughing out loud. "Oh sweetie, you don't need to be embarrassed by that! Hell, I'm flattered that a sweet thing like you wants a piece of me!" Peggy only seemed to blush harder at the enby's teasing.

Glancing between her fingers she let out a small yelp as she saw Cyanide start to unbuckle their overalls. "Oh! Um, would you mind if we went somewhere else to do this?" The slight woman slid her hands over the dome of her belly, absentmindedly rubbing it. "I know it's a little strange, but I prefer to eat people in private."

"Hey, no problem! Any reason why?"

"Oh, vore just feels intimate to me, I guess. I always felt strange at the idea of eating someone where anyone can watch, you know?" Peggy shyly looked away, playing with her ponytail. "I know it's kind of weird, since so many people are so casual about it."

Cy smiled at the pregnant woman, placing a small hand on her arm. "Nothing wrong with making this a little more cozy, sweetie! Plenty of people have their own preferences for vore, and I'll be damned if I shy away from any of them!" The fat enby laughed again, her twin afro buns bouncing on top of her head.

"Oh, thank goodness! You'd be surprised at how many people think I'm weird for this!" The hugely pregnant woman visibly relaxed at Cy's casual nature, looking much more comfortable talking to them. "Would you want to come over to my house to do this?"

"Oh, yes please! My house is a mess!"

Cy waved over a volunteer, explaining what was going on and that they weren't gonna be able to help putting everything up. Handing off her hoe they turned back to Peggy who already had her keys ready and led the much fatter enby to her car. The two of them made some small talk during the trip, Cyanide learning that Peggy was 28 weeks pregnant with triplets and already a mother of one. Cy herself talked about her volunteer work and how much they valued community.

As Peggy made a turn onto a side road Cy leaned back in their seat, stretching their arms above their head in an attempt to pop her back. However, this had the added effect of releasing their powerful musk in the cramped confines of the car they were riding in. Noticing Peggy's glances and flushed face, Cy grinned mischievously.

"So, you caught my scent and it drove you crazy, huh?" The plus sized beauty's grin only widened at the thin woman's silence and stiff back. "You know, working outside all day really works up a sweat. And in this heat? Phew!" They leaned over, placing one hand on Peggy's headrest so her dyed armpit was inches away from her face.

Peggy visibly clenched her jaw with a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel. She tried to stay composed, but Cy didn't miss the way her nostrils flared, or the way her eyes shot over for a glance. Deciding to be a little mean, Cyanide reached over to the console and switched off the AC. In less than a minute the car was starting to heat up. A few minutes after that both of them had sweat beading up on their skin. By the time Peggy pulled into the driveway of her large home both of them were drenched, clothes clinging to their bodies and Cy's musk absolutely overwhelming the confined space. They both stepped out of the car, Peggy visibly shaking.

"Oh dear, I hope I didn't tease you too much!" Cy snickered. "Here, let me help you to the house." Offering a chubby arm, Cy placed their other hand on the small of Peggy's back, helping the massively pregnant woman to her front door. They stepped into the foyer, the cool air a welcome feeling. (Cyanide loved to tease, but it was hot in that car!)

Turning back towards her host, Cy was surprised to be met with a smoldering look before being pushed back into the wall behind them. Peggy leaned forward, her pregnant belly pushing against Cy's much softer stomach as the older woman pressed their lips together almost desperately. Taking the lead Peggy quickly slipped a tongue past Cy's lips, drool actively spilling into their mouth. Hands scrambled to grab and squeeze the fat enby's body, eventually finding their hands and bringing them above their head. Breaking the kiss Peggy turned to Cy's exposed armpits, not hesitating for a moment to dive into the bush of blue hair. Inhaling deeply, Peggy was immediately overwhelmed by the thick, cloying musk from her future meal. She let out a mix of a gasp and moan as she looked a surprised Cy in the eyes.

"You have no idea how good you smell, honey." Nimble hands quickly pulled the straps of Cy's overalls down over her arms and her tank top was hastily removed to set free her doughy stomach. Bringing the damp tank top up to her face Peggy breathed deeply, closing her eyes and letting out a deep moan. Cy heard the older woman's stomach growl at their scent, but jerked in surprise when she felt a sharp kick against her midsection.

"Sorry, your smell is making me even hungrier, and they get active whenever I'm about to eat."

"Don't worry about it! How about we take this somewhere more comfortable for you?" Cy followed Peggy further into the house, helping her up the stairs to the second floor before being led into a large, yet minimalistic master bedroom. A lavish bed sat against the wall with a veritable mountain of pillows dominating it.

While Peggy set about taking off her shoes Cy quickly shed the rest of their clothes, leaving them in a pile at the foot of the bed. Turning to the pregnant woman, they saw Peggy's eyes laser focused on her soft tummy now that it was free from its confines. Smirking, the younger enby slowly made their way over, swaying their hips side to side as her small hands roamed from her heavy tits, down her jiggling belly before resting at her hardening cock. They reached the thoroughly stunned woman and helped her out of her dress before leading the way to the bed.

Soft hands roamed over Cy's softer belly, delicate fingers dipping into sweaty rolls and tracing over their stretch marks with reverence fit for divinity. Kissing gently, the two of them laid back, bellies pushing together between them. Cy rubbed over the dome of Peggy's stomach before slipping under to hook their fingers under the band of her panties. Finding the woman absolutely soaked Cy repositioned the two of them so Peggy was leaning back on a throne of pillows while the young enby got to work.

Pulling the panties completely down, Cy leaned forward, kissing her inner thighs gently. They felt Peggy stiffen above them and decided to give a playful bite on delicate skin, which made the pregnant woman squeeze her thighs together in surprise. Not missing a beat Cy used the new angle to kiss along Peggy's fuzzy lips, soft hairs tickling their nose as they went. Pale thighs released their hold on them as Peggy began to softly moan, hands sliding along her belly as Cy teased open her lips, finding her clit and placing delicate kisses on the sensitive nub. Peggy began rolling her hips the best she could, her gravid belly pushing Cy's head further down into her modest bush. The fat enby quickly wrapped their soft arms around the bucking hips and buried her face in the untrimmed pussy. Moans became gasps followed by soft grunts as Peggy lifted her hips off the bed, trembling and gushing all over Cy's face.

Guiding Peggy's hips back to the bed, Cy sat up with juice dripping down their chin and onto their breasts. They looked past the pregnant belly to check on Peggy and was surprised to see the older woman's eyes blown out, staring into their own. Peggy heaved herself up, leaning in close to Cy and giving them a delicate kiss. Closing their eyes, Cy deepened the kiss, moaning slightly when Peggy trailed kisses down their chin and neck. A tongue swiped across her chin, lapping up the mix of sweat and juices covering them. They leaned back, letting the taller woman kiss down her collarbone and across their heavy tits, hefting them up and giving attention to the dark nipples capping them. Cy sighed out deeply as soft hands grabbed at her love handles, pinching the soft rolls and pulling their bodies as close as their bellies could allow.

They barely flinched when they felt Peggy's hand grab the back of their head and pull them into her waiting maw. A soft tongue slathered their face with drool, slipping in past her lips one last time before the first swallow pulled her head into the waiting esophagus. A deep moan reverberated around Cy's head as Peggy pulled them in, tongue moving to their collarbone as she savored the taste. The tight constriction squeezed against Cy's head when another swallow brought their shoulders in, flabby arms pinned to her sides. Another gulp brought their breasts in, packed tight, nipples scraping along the pred's teeth.

Her head finally pushed through to Peggy's stomach, and the sharp, acrid smell assaulted their nose. A powerful gulp forced her further in the cramped confines as her tits were brought to the throat and Peggy reached the most daunting part of her prey. Cy could feel Peggy's tongue squirming along her flesh, almost desperate to taste every plush inch. First against her rolls, sliding into her folds to taste the sweat from a hard day of work. Another swallow brought Cy's head against the bottom of their new home as Peggy continued to taste all over her, poking into her bellybutton before slipping further down. Cy could feel the tongue curl under her belly fold and help pull the largest part of them into Peggy's throat, a soft hand gently grasping her throbbing cock to guide it into her mouth. Cy couldn't hold back any longer, cumming hard, spasming halfway in her predator and filling what little room in the mouth with hot spunk. Twitching and cursing Cy barely noticed when the pregnant pred hefted her thick thighs upward, gulping powerfully to bring the rest of her prey into her stomach.

Coming to her senses enough to shift and reposition themself so they were curled in a more upright position, Cy heard Peggy gasping and moaning from outside. They felt their captor shift, laying on her side to ease the pressure on her back as her huge tummy filled the entire side of the bed next to her. Almost immediately Cy could hear her pred's breathing slow as sleep overtook her, her heartbeat slowing after a few minutes. Surrounded by a loud, gurgling stomach the fat prey let herself relax as well, focusing on not just one, but a total of four heartbeats. The other three were much fainter but the young enby was still happy to know their body would nourish not just one person, but a new generation.

Additional character Info: [Pred (Jac) is a

C/apricorn Siren Hybrid. age 21. (He can turn into a human form but he chooses not to most of the time unless it's for ash because who tf would wanna be human in a time like this?]

[prey (ash) is a Werewolf. age 19.]

[Side character roommate: brenda a  talking black cat whose kinda sketchy. Age unknown.]

And just in case you are extra nerdy for my halfwit characters here is their voice headcanons:

Here's art I made of them: (update: I'm taking the art off this post because if Tumblr pulls any sh*t with turning everyone's stuff into a NF.T leave my work the hell out of it.)

Jac: (Not the intro radio guy but the main singer)

Ash:

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𝕹𝖆𝖗𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗: Deep far into in the woods you couldn't tell if if left was right or right was left, it was all but seemingly endless dead leaves that would crumble under your feet and the twisted jagged trees that reach into the sky like lightning in reverse, it was always cold, the only sounds were the sound of wind tossing the leaves and the occasional caw of a lone crow, but if you walked deep enough into those old woods you would find what only felt like a displaced fever dream..a victorian house, standing alone, at first glance it looked abandoned that with the ivy which climbed the walls and the boarded up windows and tattered curtains, who could possibly live in a house this....trashy..but yet: In the dead of the night you could see the faint glimmer of a light being turned on.. there have been many foolish enough to come to this porch, come to this door, mostly jehovah's witnesses... How they managed to find the address is another mystery we will not question..like why is there a house out in the woods? I DON'T KNOW? WHOEVER BUILT IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE G/RINCH OF THAT ERA; but whoever did come to the house was greeted at the door by a gentleman of a short stature, he seemed so well kept together almost as if he matched the house which was weird considering it was the 21st century, but when you came into that house as soon as the door went shut your fate was sealed...and by fate I mean these criminals were going to either force you to join their peculiar gang or they were going to knock you out cold and drag you off to a secluded location where you would never find them again..the tallest one was usually the one to do this..but how he went about knocking them out is well.... that's not important right now, right now that tall bastard by the name of Jac was creeping through the hallway to surprise greet the gentleman named ash which we mentioned before...but why?...Well... There is going to be a lot of why's and similar to a/lice in w/onderland we might just not have them all so maybe going into the mind of this madman will clear some things up...hopefully....... I'll probably be coming back later...he has me held hos---.

Jac: "This is going to be so much fun."

𝕹𝖆𝖗𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗: he says.......

Jac: why am I hearing voices?....eh the medications probably failed me again like they always do... either that or it's that one creepy guy in the attic who accounts for everything I say in grand description... he's probably some sorta spy... he'll be dessert...

𝕹𝖆𝖗𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗: he slowly-................ ahem...uh...he slowly slides his hoof like hand across the old-fashioned wallpaper.. It was rich purple and green striped with golden stripes separating the two other colors, it looked faded from age and was beginning to peel, jac had to be careful not to knock over all the picture frames and fedoras that hung lining the main hall past the lobby or ash would know...ash knows everything is in a certain place and it has been like that..for a very long time..he doesn't want anything changed... nothing can ever be changed *vague soft sobbing*-

Jac: would ya just get on with it man? I mean even the clock has had it with all your yappin and now it's tickin too fast because you're given it anxiety, chop-CHOP!

𝕹𝖆𝖗𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗: his steps drew heavy on the old dusty wooden flooring with nothing but a cheap rug covering the hall, underneath they creaked as if they were going to cave in. He finally reached the doorway peering in, in anticipating seeing the middle aged maelstrom of a mind that was his belov-ed.

Jac:

"You were workin with your papers like ya always did, so engrossed in whatever nonsense you were writin

I SAY AS A PAPER FALLS CASUALLY FROM THE CEILING

That you were Blissfully Unaware of who was watching you.. oh how could-I help myself, you were such a square,

You always used such big words all the time to be emphasizin whatever crap you were tryna say to everybody that could have been easily said in like.....not 10 minutes, but NAH, you had to be all Fancy wit it like you always do with everything..and maybe that's why I like........no.....LOVE you.."

𝕹𝖆𝖗𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗: like me?

Jac: yes you, ya fuckin lunatic, now quit writing about our life and stalking me through the attic, it's gettin kinda weird, you're really that bored that you have to write our memoirs?

Ash: and a very royal f-ck you to you too. *And than he falls from a hole in the ceiling and scatters over to sit on his chair at his work desk like nothing happened* you know I haven't left this place in a month since my last arrest and you know we can't get wifi.

Jac: I didn't know it's been a month...wow TIME MOVES FAST WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE AF.

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(narration has switched to jac now) jac POV:

Author: From this point ash won't hear anything jac is thinking and "" marks will be used when something is said aloud or as their normal function (have fun with trying to figure that one out, as my writing style fluctuates. ;)

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Jac: Now ash........ya had this word...how do I say it...?

"Sapio somethin"..I donno, it meant being attracted to smartiepants like yourself...but you can't outsmart me this time...

He hadn't gotten any sleep, it was 3am, I really oughta do this guy a favor, so I grab onto the back of the collar of your shirt and drag you backwards in your chair with force, now our eyes are meetin except you are looking at me upsidedown, heh heh heh, now your bangs are a mess from the gravity...of the situation.. har har funny joke, but that wasn't as funny as your response

"What are you doing" you ask

WhAT AM I DOING?

WITH YOU?

At 3am.......hmmm so many things to do alone at night..... And I just say like a jackass "nothing.  What are you doing up this late?"

"You didn't answer my question" ash says,

As if me giving him a answer is going to spare him any less, So I tell him: "I gotta be frank wit you pumpkin, I don't know, I was getting up for a latenight snack, and low and behold..the fridge was empty..and suddenly I found myself here......pretty weird if you ask me"

Ash: if you were coming from the kitchen than you wouldn't have needed to come down the hall from the lobby, I find that suspicious.

Jac: And I don't answer him and stare at him with a dopey smile on my face and he gives me the look...ya know..."the look" like..... W/ednesday a/dams.. after her brother just stole her doll. But he was so small that I couldn't take it seriously..I mean coMON, he's practically the size of a doll to me, he was the doll, I can take him...........whole. I come closer closin in on him holding him down to the chair with my hoof and his face still doesn't change and suddenly things start getting animated and by animated I mean ash started movin, like, a lot, he was going all over the place, putting up such a fit, and yet he couldn't get away, he started makin all kinds of weird snarlly noises..heh..might wanna get that checked out...I think the motor in his little head is broken... "YOU RASCAL, YOU RAGAMUFFIN BARBARIAN"

he shouts, "ah yes, all my favorite nicknames," I say "comon little fella, give another to me, I dare you."

"MONSTEROUS BABOON"

"Oh shit" I say "you have such a way with words. Now tell me in great detail what words you'll come up with as my dinner"

And than he really lost it, he managed to get out of the chair and started running.. I'm 14ft tall... He is 5ft2.. this guy ain't gettin far anytime fast..is that how ya say it? Hell if know, NOW TIME TO PLAY TAG!, The house was.. well he said it was a "victorian mansion", but by the looks of it to me it was basically like navigating a small storage shed, and it would probably be haunted if it wasn't for me scaring everyone away like I always do...but why do I...eh, hell if know..I don't know anything when he's around.........he ran around the house like a wind up mouse slamming Into things as soon as he saw me edge the corner. "All this production" I say "what is this? FastFood and a movie?"

And than he blurts out "YOU AIN'T GETTING ME BITCH!!!, AND THE CORRECT TERM IS "DINNER AND A SHOW" YOU HALFWIT BLOKE"

oh and now he's correcting me, I feel like a smarter man now "THANKS BUDDY!, NOW I'LL FINALLY BE ABLE TO FINISH COLLEGE"

That's it, he's gonna get it.

He looked like he was about to say something as he angrily looks back at me but than trips on his pointy toed a/cademia shoes and now at a snails pace I finally catch up to him, laying on the living room floor next to our broken vintage shitty Rabbit-Eared excuse of a TV.

But than our cat brenda gets in front of him and is all like "THAT DEADASS CHUMP IS MINE", And of course, I civilly toss her out the window... behind the couch....not sure where she went but I could care less as I pick ash up from his face plummeted position off the floor as he digs his nails into it leavin sharp nail marks all the way across it, I lick my lips,

"MIne all m i n e~...haHaHAHA!" and than he kicks me in the face and I feel offended but than remember that he doesn't stand a chance and I heartily laugh "woe to you little wolf, woe to whom attempt to defeat me with your skINNY twig leg, that I could easily break like a pocky stick if I wasn't so kind" and than he sCREAMS

"YOU'RE A BASTARD AND YOU'RE GLUTTONOUS" and than he interrupts his own ranting by sneezing from my fur. "AND YOU'VE RUINED MY NIGHT!!"

And I look him dead in the eye..... everything is silent and all that can be heard is the tick of our grandfather clock..tick...tick...tock tick, and I lean right up in his face.. than I lick it, and than I passionately whisper:

"g o o d." Than I slowly lean away from his face, as I see his eyes turn to wide saucers of destruction. Both our breathing is tense now, and I can see him start to crack..."is that a smile I see?"

He doesn't answer as his face scrunches into shapes never before seen by man in a attempt to hide his hysteria. I lightly take his glasses off his face and put them in my pocket..

He softly whispers "So war is what you want tonight dear?"

And I say "no sweetheart, it's pronounced

*V/ore...and by v/ore I mean you"

And he responds "no, you are getting that confused with the french pronunciation "vous" which means in english "you""

And my voice gets deep as I heavily respond:

"v/ore means: to devour..... vous"

AND THAN HE STARTS SQUIRMING LIKE A RABID SQUIRREL... I start maniacally and chaotically laughing

Ohh asher..you were always so cute when you got like this

One thing I knew bout you was how you hated everyone and everything, but you had a special kind of hatred reserved just for me, I could see it in your eyes

The disgust as you tried not to laugh and keep serious well I playfully drove you insane, we felt like tom and jeremy but closer, he was always so hot headed that with just a glance he could set my soul on fire..he always considered himself a p/yromanic.. I'm not sure what that meant but I was a maniac for him, the world was a c/hipotle restaurant and he was the main enchilada to my heart 💘

I think there was screams, I couldn't tell, they were muffled as I shoved him in headfirst into my mouth like he was cotton candy..if cotton candy tasted like a pumpkin spice cappuccino.. he had such weird taste in shampoo choices, it wasn't even fall.... But boy I was going to hog down on him like thanksgiving dinner.. now for my favorite part, the noodle arms, I could feel as he struggled graspin at anything he could..which was my shirt, I grabbed both of his arms and shoved them in swallowin more of him, he was so feisty going down, stuck halfway gazing into the abyss of my throat, I liked to refer to it as the tunnel of love but whenever I called it that he got crazier so I kept my mouth shut...as much as I could with his waist stuck in it, his shorts...tasted  like...money.....wAIT A FCKING  SECOND!! DRATS HE STOLE MY S/ATURDAY TACO FUNDS.. I'll teach em for that one, maybe he just won't come out, I don't know, haven't made up my mind yet, afterall he is on the border of the world and yours truly, he'll have a long time to think bout that in not so solitary confinement. After more squirmin tension and practically choking gulping him down, He slips into my empty stomach like a freezing foot in a wool slipper; Not that I know what that tastes like.. and maybe ash was right, I am rather gluttonous, my shirt even popped up all thanks to him, welp, it's not like he can blame me, it's not like I have anything else to eat, besides...... Cornflakes and that questionable dinner gifted to us, I am not touching that food.....

But how can I sob over being a poor man when ash makes for the richest feast of all, he wasn't too thrilled about it though, as I obnoxiously burped breaking the silence, I could almost hear his muffled "ugh".

"Ahh~ Man, for being such a square you sure make me round" and than he kicks me in the stomach and I go down to the floor like a burning blimp, I swear I could have heard the t/itanic theme, mayhaps that was the post-dinnertime sadness, like when we were at family dinner and I didn't want to be there and uncle phil called my gay cousin louie a-- AND THAN ASH KICKS ME IN THE INTESTINE AND I SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL

"Haha just kidding that tickled"

I'm not really sure what that chatterbox was going on about now, all I could hear from em was..."fis mrace mis urnmermry" He says indistinguishably muffled.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak food" and than he raises his voice enough for me to hear it clearly: "THIS PLACE IS UNSANITARY!."

"Aww what a shame" I say to him, I even spiffied it up for him and left it reserved just for him, but little goodie twoshoes is never satisfied with anything I do for him. I giggle everytime he moves as I walk over and plop down on the couch causing him to shake around in my belly like a drink mixer, he feels a little dizzy and disoriented now pawing at the walls as if trying to find a secret doorknob or somethin, but alas there weren't no doorknobs here, not in the ribcaged prison that is spending time with me. I lean back on the couch and kick my feet up over the armrest but because the couch is so small my legs go completely over it and by hooves touch the floor, I attempt to get myself more cozy snuggling up against the couch cushions, but than I realize the remote was all the way at the end of the coffee table, but there was no way in hell that I was going to get up, so I reach for it and reach for it and than ash's weight drags me over down like a anchor and I almost fall on the floor if it wasn't for the coffeetable breaking my fall. "You're lucky buddy we lived" and than ash yells "pardon my language but WHAT IN THE BLAZING HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU? wait- don't answer that"

And I casually respond "just doin a little hardcore p/arkour, baby, don't worry bout it, I got this all figured out" and than I accidentally knock one of ash's teacups off the coffeetable and it smashes on the floor to smitherines.

Ash: "What was that"

Jac: "uuhhhhhhhhhh *hiccup* something....that I'll deal with later"

Ash: "Ah. I see. EXCEPT I DON'T. It was my cup wasn't it"

Jac: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, HEY you know what we need?"

Ash: a professional surgeon, And lots of glue to put my cup and you back together.

Jac: no, I was thinking more uh.. *hic* that I could really go for some hot chocolate right about now

Ash: WAIT NO---not unless you use your own cup.

And than I get up having a hard time keeping my balance as I stumble aimlessly across the living-room and than I lean up on the kitchen doorframe like b/ugs bunny if he let himself go, than I hear his cracking little voice yell at me hot tempered: "JACKSON MALFREY ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO-"

I cut him off midsentence: "yeah yeah, hold ya horses in there, we're almost there."

I'm kinda heaving and wheezing from how full he makes me feel, but I was determined and bullshit ready, so I waltzed through the kitchen, it's floor was checkered and that was the most noteworthy thing about it..which disoriented the drunks who would come over here very much, and I walked over opened up the cabinet and GASP.........*wheeze*

".........................." "Jac are you ok" ash asks with slight concern.

"Yeah, I just realized we still have 4 o/reos left in the cabinet that I can dip them in the hot chocolate"

And than ash sounds deflated yet amused as he suggests: "oh and well you're at it, we also have cookie straws"

And I dig them out of the cabinet

"Vanilla and chocolate swirl!... Oh I remember these!, it's been so many years since I've had one of these, this is just swell!, I can't believe you remembered"

And he replies "yeah, we were supposed to have them with coffee and biscotti, so don't eat all of them." And than I hear the sound of him irritatedly mumble complaints and I giggle "ok, thanks a million, pal, you're the best" after a short montage of me searching for my cup and getting too excited drinking all the questionable almond milk instead of using it to put in the cup, I come to my senses and pour the rest of the milk into the cup and than eat the empty milk container, he squirms even more and now his shirt is soaked "was that necessary?? Now I'm cold" and I say "Gotta keep the environment clean", I spend the next minute with trying to figure out how to heat up the milk now that it's in the cup and I don't have a  microwave so I put the cup in a pot on the stove and the Magic begins✨

The pot starts to get hot and the milk starts bubbling and I sing to myself

s/tayin alive by the bee gees and bopping my head absentmindedly forgetting any time I rhyme it hypnotizes humans to fall asleep out of trance and ash passes out, I get out the oven mitt and pick up the scolding cup and than the oven mitt starts on fire and I blow it out, and than I put marshmallows in the milk when I haven't even put the cocoa in yet and  they also start on fire, after mixing the marshmallows up with the mix, dumping cookies in and cookie straws, I put in a icecube to cool it, I stand there, looking out the kitchen window that overlooked the sun rising over the tree blocked horizon and our garden that in the summer grew all kinds of stuff like tomatos, and corn, and hemp, and sunflowers and brenda's coming at the window with a baseball bat, I lock the window and I drink out of the hot chocolate feeling it warmly trickle down my throat as it gracefully dumps all over ash and he wakes up screaming, not out of pain, but out of surprise. I start to get real tired now, after eating all those cookies and milk and hot chocolate and that stupid expensive shirt brenda shoplifted that brenda and ash were fighting over because brenda wanted to sell it but ash took the tags off because ash liked it. and adorable ash himself, it's finally all getting to me, and I slowly sink to the floor sprawled on my back like a dead man, and ash tells me I have to do his papers now, and I say to him "ok, whatever, fair and Square" and than I pass out snoring loudly and ash sighs loudly.

"..................."

Ash: "pig"

Jac: "What was that, backstabber? 👀" 

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Author: ash can't hear the puns.