#nonbinary adam parrish

adam parrish always knew that they were different. not in the sense that they were poor and their best friends were from the richest families in west virginia. not in the sense that they grew up in a trailer park and thought for most of their yet so young life that they were unable to be known, to be loved, to be wanted.

no in the sense that they always felt like they didn’t fit in any kind of boxes. they weren’t rich enough to in in aglionby, they were too different to properly fit in their crying club. they just felt like nothing fit them.

they always thought they were a guy, using he/him pronouns because that’s how it is done. that’s how it always was, there are no other options really. and for the longest time they also didn’t really care. what do pronouns matter? they never really had anything that was theirs they never had friends that referred to them, they never had anything worth having an identity crisis over

until they did. until they found gansey and blue and noah and henry and nost importantly ronan

ronan lynch, from the moment they kissed for the first time adam knew this was a forever kind of thing

ronan lynch who’s all tough outside and sharp edges and loves so deeply and fully

ronan lynch who gave them something worth an identity crisis

the Havard Gender Crisis as adam called it affectionately started when they had to take a gender studies class for their major

it’s the first time they heard the term non-binary, the feeling of not fitting that felt so familiar to them

adam - the nerd they are - spent hours upon hours researching being non-binary and with each passing moment he felt the weight in his chest becoming lighter and lighter until they figured this is it, this is the box they finally fit in

on their research adam also learned that what is between your legs has nothing to do with your gender identity

they learned that people all over the internet put their pronouns in their bio to show support to the trans community

pronouns were a funny thing because you can use whatever makes you feel the most comfortable

they also found neo pronouns

at first they sticked with he/ him because it felt comfortable, it was a habit, it was what always been there

and maybe that was also the problem, it was always there. beaten into them.

that got them thinking and so they tried they/ them pronouns. because it felt natural, it felt like coming home, it felt like ronan’s embrace safe and sound

and that’s what they sticked with for now, maybe they’ll change them maybe not

but with the comfort came also anxiety. what if ronan would break up with them? technically they weren’t a guy anymore, even if being referred as one didn’t bother them too much

and that’s how they ended up calling ronan at 2 am, because all the inportant things, all the beautiful and terrible and good and horrible things happen at 2 am

ronan: parrish what the fuck is up with you?

adam: do you ever feel like you’re not a guy?

ronan: well i certainly am not a chick

adam: can you take this fucking serious you asshole

ronan: fuck parrish what’s up there in your pretty head?

adam: i’m non-binary. that means i’m neither a guy nor a girl, i’m simply a person.

ronan: what are your pronouns?

adam: they/them. will you break up with me now?

ronan: adam, why the fuck would i want to break up with you? seriously, entertain me

adam: cause you’re into guys and i’m not one

ronan: see that’s where you’re wrong, while i may be sexually attracted to male bodies i’m not into men. i’m into you. it’s called demiromantic and i chose you. every single day of my life i will be choosing you. no matter what your pronouns are, no matter what’s between your legs, i will always choose you. now tell me about being non-binary, i wanna know what’s going on inside your head and i wanna understand every single little thing about you

for none of the two of them sleep seemed like an option anymore. adam told ronan everything about the binary and not fitting in there and ronan listened, asked questions here and there

the next time adam came back to the barns for spring break they looked happier than ronan has ever seen them

ronan: there they are, the love of my life, the light of my existence

somehow ronan made that sound endearing and sarcastic at the same time

ronan: i thought about what you told me and i did my own research on pronouns and i think i wanna try he/ they for a while

i love you so fucking much was the only thing adam had to offer

BONUS

adam starts wearing dresses and skirts blue makes them

they wear nail polish, one of their fingers always has glitter on them for noah

they have a little pin with their pronouns next to the nb pride flag and the bi pride flag

when they came out to the gangsey they learned that blue and henry were nb as well

ronan identifies as genderqueer and goes by any pronouns expect of she/her cuz he doesn’t vibe with it

adam gets a degree in history and gender studies as well as his other degree (i’m thinking law or medicine) and writes thesis about gender identities and sexualities throughout history

adam lets their hair grow between shoulder and chin length and lets blue braid their hair

ronan refers to adam as the love of his life or joyfriend rather than boyfriend

glendower gang explores gender // non-binary adam parrish

it took them so long to understand (cabeswater helped)

so much angst? imagine all the angst!!