#non-ut

Once for Lady Goal:

And........ oh wait.......

That was a hug. 

Note: I find that a good choice from another meta standpoint. Given as Baby Goal is treated as... well... childish... it wouldn’t have been a good move to have a kiss with THAT side of her personality.

But anyway.

Rufus and Goal kiss. That’s achieved. That’s better achievement than they get for most romantic expectations in this story. However, when I think about the narrative in Deponia, their kisses feel incomplete to me, too. Rufus and Goal might have kissed twice, but they did not:

Complete the narrative rule of threes.

Have all three divided personalities of Goal kiss Rufus.

Have a kiss between Rufus and Goal when Goal’s consciousness was united.

And that’s critical. There’s never a moment where the complete Goal shares a kiss with Rufus. 

Furthermore, the Deponia trilogy is firmly founded on the idea “good things come in threes.” Everything important is presented in threes: Rufus causing Goal to fall at the start of every game, Rufus falling for Goal at the end of every game, Rufus being cloned into three individuals, Rufus being one of three clone brothers, Goal being separated into three separate personalities, you name it, the narrative cares about the number THREE. When there’s a “three” in Deponia, you’re supposed to pay attention. They even rub in the importance of three in the art book and some of the Huzzah songs. But. Rufus and Goal kissing twice falls short of that perfect three.

This is in contrast to Goal punching Rufus, which does occur three times, once per game: punching Rufus for the coffee (Deponia), punching Rufus when he flirts with her in Gulliver’s Tavern (Chaos on Deponia), and punching Rufus after they dance (Goodbye Deponia).

So it could be argued Rufus and Goal never fulfill the “kiss” expectation, either, that was set up in Deponia’s narrative scaffolding.

“I Love You”

I know fans can freak out when a fictional pairing first utters the words “I love you.” I know fans often speculate about whether or not The L Word will appear in a canon story. I know that, in real life, it might feel special the first time you say that with your romantic partner. “I love you” can be an important relational milestone.

Deponia again tempts this milestone with Rufus and Goal - once again, they get close to success, but it doesn’t happen. 

Goal, thinking Rufus isn’t around, and being dangerously overdosed, admits to Argus, “I love Rufus.” She never says it to Rufus himself.

And Rufus, the bastard, says “I love you” ...to one of his dying clones. Not Goal.

I love that Doomsday keeps the integrity of this, too. Even when Rufus and Goal know they’re saying their final goodbye together, they never say “I love you”. They reminisce of fun adventures they’ve had, and Goal’s most powerful words to him are, “Goodbye Rufus.” 

First Night in Bed

Sex!!! Certainly a defining moment in a relationship. Sure, Goal insists (to Rufus’ deaf ears) they’re just going to sleep in the bed. But not even that happens. Rufus’ hope was to experience one of the most intimate acts of love allosexual couples might have. Instead, Rufus watches Goal sleep in a very... different... way. He thinks he killed her, watches her pass out, and then is throw off the cruiser to his own demise.

The entire objective of this part of the game (to prepare the bed for Goal) is thwarted from the expected results (get in bed with Goal). And what Rufus hopes to be one of his most positive experiences with Goal, an act which in so many ways is an act of life... instead turns into a double death.

Growing Old Together

In Chaos, Rufus asks the guru what their twilight years will be like together. The guru sees nothing in the future for them there. That’s because Rufus and Goal won’t grow old together as a couple.

We see that emphasized all the more in Doomsday. The one time Rufus manages to survive the fall from the highboat, Goal dies instead. Solid Rufus grows old alone without hope. Furthermore, No Future Goal lives as a hermit in Paradox City, also alone without hope. Even in that one timeline where Goal and Grandpa Rufus manage to both survive, I don’t think that exactly... counts... since one of them’s actually young, while the other’s got a full beard of white hair (what his true longevity is after “remembering all” I have no idea).

The Love-o-Mat and the Photographs

In Doomsday, Rufus and Goal need to prove to Pimpy the Clown that they’re a couple in love. They can’t get passage on his boat until they do that. The game sets up the idea for Rufus and Goal to take a photograph together with the set-up in the fairgrounds. However, Rufus photographs himself with a fake Goal, who’s nothing more than a bowling ball for a head. The Love-o-Mat never rates this photograph as true love, it’s never used to get past Pimpy, Goal gets angry at Rufus for this stunt, and what should have been a romantic boat ride with a romantic singer singing a romantic song turns into Rufus and Goal glaring angrily at one another. The entire goal of the fairgrounds section is uprooted... it all turns into... something entirely unromantic.

What’s so frustrating is that later we learn Goal pulled the same ruse. She also used a bowling ball for a fake Rufus, even used the same backdrop. The two of them could have taken the photograph together, operating under the same idea: but instead they created two pictures, both of which faked the other being in their lives.

This is the reason Goal is upset during the college arc. She’s angry because in the photo, she and Rufus are “together”. It’s a lie. It’s faking a happy future that cannot be: Rufus and Goal never will be able to grow a real, long-term, not-cut-off romantic relationship.

Rufus: You got past the Love-o-Mat with that? Goal: Well, someone had to make sure that things could carry on. Rufus: But then why are you so angry? Because we’re not together in the photo? Goal: No. Because we are. An illusion. A snapshot giving the wrong picture. Or do you think that at the end of the day, we’ll be sticking that picture into our photo album? Everything here is going to have to end up being undone and reversed! So that we can save the world. So that there will be no Fewlocks on Elysium. That’s how it has to be, right? Rufus: No, it isn’t. Goal: Then tell me one thing that will still remain of our adventures.

THAT STUPID FUCKING RING 

UUUUAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Excuse me a moment while I pull out all my hair, scream into a pillow, and angrily beat up my bed mattress. By this point in the Deponia series, I knew that the moment Rufus tried to get a ring for Goal, that expectations would be subverted. I knew that the ring in the fairgrounds was too good to be true. My shipper heart was screaming “RING!!!! RINGGGG!!!! RING RING RING RING RIIIIINGGG!!! HOLY SHIT A RING!!!!” but of course. Of course. Of fucking course. Deponia once again subverted the romantic expectations on that, too. In all the worst ways possible.

First, the ring isn’t as easy to acquire as one would hope. You don’t just get the coins to get the ring out of the gumball machine. The ring rolls away from Rufus, a wombat steals it, and Rufus has to recruit a fellowship on a quest to retrieve this important ring. It’s arduous acquiring that ring at all.

Next, the ring isn’t given to Goal. It’s used on the fake. Which, as mentioned before, is frustrating in itself - they could have taken a picture together but didn’t. It’s even worse considering that this photograph backdrop is that for a bride and groom getting married - Rufus gives the ring to a fake Goal for a marriage photo that isn’t real. The symbolism keeps getting hit again and again - love, a romantic boat ride, a ring, a picture with a bride and groom. The game doesn’t tempt this idea so much as smack you repeatedly with it on your head. But everything about Rufus and Goal getting married with this ring is a lie that turns into a big fight between the him and his travel companion. It’s ultimately all for nothing, it feels like.

THEN. The ring comes back. The ring still has a chance to make a romantic difference! Rufus grabs the ring to help Rokko and Rita (he thinks) hook up. This is supposed to help a couple with the ultimate vow of love and loyalty: marriage. And yet the very ring that players first find... that ring the game “suggests” should be shared between Rufus and Goal for romance... is the very ring used... for ROKKO and Goal’s wedding.

THE RING THAT WAS “SUPPOSED” TO BE FOR GOAL AND RUFUS ENDS UP GOING TO MARRY GOAL WITH ANOTHER MAN.

Everything down to a proposal and a marriage is teased at heavily in the game, only to crash into something undesirable between Rufus and Goal.

Of course, Rufus being Rufus, he tries to barge in with a Shrek-styled “I object!” moment. That doesn’t go so well. We don’t get the two resuming their romantic relationship now that “the wrong marriage” is prevented. Goal makes it clear she is not “his girl.” Something always blocks their path - up to him disappearing and leaving her life entirely. He’s a mess-up that she shouldn’t wait for. Outraged, Goal storms away from Rufus, jumps into a portal, and leaves him in turn.

Why are *WE* not allowed to be happy?

Rufus: Huh. Now we’re together on Elysium after all. Goal: Well. I guess we are. Rufus: Come on. There should be a lot of other portals here. Goal: Can’t we just... stay here? Rufus: Goal, we talked about this. At first, I also thought that was a good idea, but who will save the world, if not us? Goal: That’s unfair. Why are we not allowed to be happy? Problems, dangers, problems, more dangers. It’s almost like someone is watching us and...!

The ultimate desire for both Goal and Rufus is to reach Elysium together. Even before Goal understands Rufus’ personality, and Rufus appreciates Goal as an individual woman, they want this. This is true of the trilogy. This is true of Doomsday. This is how they will save Deponia from exploding. This is how Rufus will escape the planet he loathes. This is how Future Goal thinks her life could improve for the better. And yet this is the one thing that cannot happen, be it in The Complete Journey, or the many times they attempt to change the timeline in Doomsday. Rufus and Goal, no matter how much they want it, can’t find a happy life together on Elysium.

Ultimately, it comes down to Want versus Need. This is what drives Rufus’ character arc in the trilogy (despite some criticisms I’ve seen, he totally has one), and what also drives Goal’s character arc in Doomsday.

In the trilogy, Rufus has the Want to reach Elysium and hook up with a hot woman. He thinks that’s what he needs. When the story presents conflict, we learn that what Rufus actually Needs to do is save Deponia and the people he cares about from death. At first, Rufus focuses more on his Want, but believes he can accomplish both his Want and his Need. Moments like the first game’s end show that that’s not going to be easy to accomplish, but he keeps pressing forward with the determination to both save Deponia and get that happy Elysian life. As the story continues, Rufus acts increasingly more for the real Need - until at last, at the very end, it’s made clear: Rufus’ Want and his Need are incompatible. He chooses his Need: to save the person he cares about most, Goal, and through his final actions, makes sure the Elysians won’t destroy his planet. Goal’s safety and Deponia’s survival is more important than that Want he dreamed of at the start. Rufus and Goal won’t be able to live together romantically, despite three games of him dreaming about it. It’s a beautiful albeit painful way of learning selflessness and seeing Rufus - finally - emotionally at peace.

In Doomsday, Goal has the Want to change the past for the better and get more time with Rufus. She believes this will give her happiness and hope - after all, there’s no hope in a life with Fewlock Armageddon, or with a good adventure forgotten, or with Elysium crashed. Both the Goal of Doomsday’s main timeline and Future Goal aren’t initially able to see their true Need. The Need is to accept the past and live with hope in the future. Hope will never be about slogging in the past, but about using our past life choices to pave forward to the best future we can. This means that Goal needs to learn how to emotionally - and literally - let go of Rufus. No matter how much she tries or wishes it, Rufus won’t be there in her future. 

And the story makes these characterizations and messages clear... in how it subverts Rufus and Goal’s relationship. Sure, Deponia likes subverting player expectations everywhere. But especially with the romantic “milestones” that never get fulfilled, there’s a lot of narrative depth and structure added. By never giving them moments of uninterrupted relational actualization, it foreshadows and prepares us for the truth of the ending: they won’t be together once this story’s ended, either. The trilogy is about Rufus finally learning to grow, finally making an action that doesn’t harm the people around him, finally taking a choice that’s selfless and sacrificial. Doomsday shows us the complicated nuance that hope might mean letting go so we don’t let the past drag us down, but that everything we’ve done in our struggles will be worth it.

I love the frustration in all this. Storywise I’ve seen the fanfiction slow burn trope everywhere: you frustrate the readers until, at the very end, the romantic couple hooks up. Yet Deponia... never gives that final hook-up. Rufus dies before the two can sort through their feelings and become a solid pair. The story always gives enough to see what Rufus and/or Goal (and we as players, if we ship) might hope for, but consistently subverts what could have been a good pairing moment. In a weird way, this subversion makes the whole story more cohesive. And for me, somehow, an even more enjoyable to experience as a player.