#non-sequential chapter 21

He told himself he was going to help his best friend take his mind off his time-traveling girlfriend. But Bucky knew he needed to take his mind off of it too. He worried about Y/N just as much as Steve. He was just better at hiding it.

Now Bucky found himself moving smoothly through the hallways of the royal palace. The guards had become familiar with him finally, no longer suspicious or giving him side eye. Sometimes they would even give him small smiles, which he made sure to always return.

He was finally in front of Steve’s door. He listened for a moment, expecting to find the sound of Steve pacing back and forth or giving some sort of sign of his stress.

But the room was quiet.

Bucky knocked softly, now half expecting Steve to not even be in his bedroom. Maybe he’d find him in the training room.

But then he heard quiet and hurried footsteps a few seconds later.

Bucky took a step back and studied his friend.

Steve’s chest was without a shirt. The only thing covering his body were a pair of black sweatpants, slightly frayed at the bottom. It was obvious he had just woken up. But something was unusual.

Bucky was so focused on trying to figure out what was different with Steve, that he was caught off guard by the movement behind him. There, in Steve’s bed, was Y/N fast asleep. There was nothing hiding her naked body from Bucky’s gaze except Steve’s bedding.

Bucky quickly glanced back at Steve. That’s when he noticed Steve’s slightly swollen lips, his messy hair that was always kept.

Bucky cleared his throat. “I see Y/N’s back.”

Steve blushed, and it reminded Bucky that there would always be a part of Steve that was that innocent and tiny punk from Brooklyn.

Steve must’ve felt his hair was a giveaway, for he was now trying to tame it. “Uhhh. Yeah, she came back a few hours ago.”

“She OK?” Bucky felt the need to ask. Even though it was now obvious that Steve and her had clearly been having sex.

“Yeah. Uh…Yeah, she’s fine.”

“Steve?” Bucky’s tone demanded attention.

“Yeah, Buck.”

“This doesn’t have to be weird.” Bucky smirked. “Don’t make it weird.”

Steve cleared his throat. “Right.” He finally stopped messing with his hair. “Did you need something, Buck? Everything OK?”

“No, I didn’t need anything. I was just checking on you. Didn’t want you to wear out the floor with your worrying. Thought you could use some company.” Then Bucky’s eyes flickered to Y/N. “But clearly you found company in someone else,” he teased.

Steve gave him a warning glare.

Bucky shifted his weight. “Well, I’m glad she got back safe.”

As soon as he turned on his heels, that weird and familiar feeling settled in his stomach. He tried his best to ignore it as he began walking away.

“Buck?” Steve quietly called out to him.

He turned.

“Sure you’re alright?”

Bucky gave his famous smirk and nodded. “Yeah, I’m just gonna train for a bit.”

——————

Y/N woke up to the sound of Steve’s shower running. A shy and sleepy grin formed on her lips as last night came back to the forefront of her mind.

Obviously one night of returned intimacy wasn’t going to solve all of Y/N and Steve’s problems. Their relationship still had its issues. But it was a relief not to feel like they were off kilter, even if it was for a short time.

Y/N sat up straighter when she heard the water turn off. She tightened the bedding under her armpits, trying to find some modesty. It was silly trying to do such a thing in front of Steve. All he’d ever done was praise and become captivated by her nakedness.

“You’re up,” he greeted with a smile as he walked out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist.

Then he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Leaning down, he gave her a morning kiss.

But when Steve pulled away, there was worry in his eyes.

“What?” Y/N asked.

Steve sighed. “Want to tell me what happened while you were gone?”

She feigned innocence. “What do you mean?”

He raised a brow. “Come on, Y/N.” Then he scratched the back of his neck. “Look, last night was…great.” There was that classic Steve Rogers blush. “Amazing, actually.” But then he sighed again and shook his head. “But I’m not a fool, Y/N. Something caused you to…”

He cleared his throat. “Something’s changed.” His eyes stared into her gaze. “And I just want to know what that is.”

Y/N’s entire face dropped. Her shoulders were tense and her eyes distant.

“Steve…I can’t–I can’t tell you what you want to know.”

His blue eyed were suddenly filled with sadness. He had to look away from her to hide it. “You know, I had a feeling you were going to say that.”

“I’m sorry, Steve.” Y/N whispered.

He shook his head slowly. Not mad, but his notorious Steve Rogers disappointment.

Y/N leaned forward and kissed the bare skin of his shoulder.

“Does it make any difference that it’s something good?” Y/N murmured against his skin.

Steve finally looked at her again and gave her a sad smile. “I guess it does.”

Y/N gave him a sweet and slow kiss on the lips.

Steve gripped her chin lightly. “There’s something else I gotta talk to you about.”

She could already tell by his face that she wasn’t going to like what he was about to say.

“I gotta leave for a little bit,” he told her without looking her in the eye.

“Leave? But you just came back,” she argued.

“I know.” Steve ran his hand through his hair that was getting shaggier and shaggier. “Nat messaged me early this morning, said they got a lead on something. They’re gonna need me on this one.”

Y/N was quiet, processing his words.

Steve waited, but she remained quiet.

“Y/N, please say something.”

Her brow furrowed. “What do you want me to say, Steve?”

“You deserve better than this life I’ve given you, Y/N. I left you in the only place I knew you’d be safe, a foreign country without knowing hardly anyone. I took your life away so I could have you.”

“No,” Y/N stopped him. “So, we could be together.” She took in a shaky breath. “Steve, with or without you, I never would’ve had a normal life. I sporadically disappear through time. What part of that is normal to you?”

Steve knew she wasn’t actually looking for an answer.

Y/N reached forward and ran a hand across his cheek, feeling the slight roughness of his beard. “Go, Steve. Just come back to me, OK?” She whispered.

He grabbed her hand away from his face so he could hold it. “I promise.”

A few hours later, Y/N was standing and watching Steve pilot the quinjet into the air. He met her gaze through the windshield of the aircraft. His eyes were filled with reluctance, worry, and guilt. Everyone knew that Steve didn’t want to leave Y/N again. They had just started to get back on their feet. And Y/N was far from being emotionally and mentally healthy. She was still dealing with trauma, and now she would be dealing with it, without Steve, once again.

“He’ll be back,” Bucky muttered from behind Y/N once the jet was in the distance.

She turned to look into his ice blue eyes. “How can you be so sure?”

“I’ve known Steve a long time and he may be an idiot… but he’s never made the same mistake twice.”

Y/N smirked. “What about all those fights he couldn’t run away from?”

“Yeah, but those were never mistakes to Steve.” Then Bucky’s expression turned serious. “Almost ruining what you two had? That was his biggest mistake ever. I know he won’t be making it again, kid.”

She looked down at her feet. “Why do you call me that?”

Bucky tilted his head a bit. “Call you what?”

“Kid.”

He shifted his weight awkwardly at the question. It made him realize that any explanation would put him in a awkward position. Was the nickname too intimate? Had his potential feelings become more apparent from it?

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked.

“No. No, I don’t think so.”

Bucky nodded slowly. “OK.” He tried to walk away again.

“Steve said you remembered…what happened to me,” Y/N called out quickly before he could escape. “That you told him everything.”

Bucky at least at the brains to look guilty about it. “I did,” he admitted.

“Why?”

Bucky stepped back toward her. “He needed to know, Y/N.”

“It wasn’t your story to tell,” she glared at him.

“You’re right. So, I told him mine. Or did you forget that I was there too? Forced to watch you get tortured while I was brainwashed to do nothing, except obey orders.”

“Stay out of it next time,” Y/N warned.

She knew she wasn’t being fair, that she was acting a bit childish. But she still believed that Bucky had no right to go behind her back and tell Steve what had happened.

“You wanna use me as your punching bag, Y/N? Fine. But I’m not going to apologize for telling your boyfriend why you’ve shut yourself away from the rest of the world.”

“Shut myself away from the world? You’re one to talk! You hid from Steve for two years!”

“Yeah, and look what good it did me!” He barked back. “Now the Avengers are torn apart, Steve’s a convict, and you’re stuck here with me!”

Y/N blinked and her mouth opened slightly in shock.

Suddenly her gut ached, filled with a sudden surge of guilt. Not once had she considered that Bucky felt responsible for what had happened between Steve and Tony.

“Running from the people who love you only makes things worse in the end. I had to learn that the hard way.” He held up his hands in surrender as he backed up. “Forgive me for trying to prevent you from making the same mistake.”

As soon as he was gone, Y/N’s eyes filled with tears. ‘God, you are such a fucking asshole, Y/N.’ She thought to herself.

———————————————————-

Y/N decided to take a walk in the morning instead of tossing and turning in her bed, failing to go to sleep. Two of the kings guards walked a few paces behind her. After the incident with Steve when they went horseback riding, T’Challa didn’t let Y/N go anywhere alone. He insisted it wouldn’t happen again, but that didn’t stop him from being cautious.

Just as she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, that terrifying tingling feeling spread throughout her body. Her eyes snapped open again.

Y/N quickly turned to her two guards. “I’m about to travel. Tell Shuri…and-and-and Bucky.”

But the two guards and landscape surrounding them slowly faded away and she was blinded by white. She squinted and shielded her eyes with her hand, giving herself time to adjust to the bright light.

Then she felt the cold against her bare feet. She looked down to see half a foot of snow.

Y/N shivered, finally realizing how cold it was. Quickly she rubbed her arms and hugged them close to her chest. The forest she was in reminded her of Italy on that dreadful day: February 1st, 1945.

Her heart suddenly started racing and she looked around frantically.

Had she been brought to the same exact moment?

Y/N didn’t think she could go through that torture again.

Bucky had already left her to die once, she couldn’t live it again.

Then Y/N heard a crash – one big enough that she felt the tremor in the ground under her feet. She gasped, thinking something was about to attack her.

“H-Hello?” She practically whimpered.

It felt like a stupid thing to do. But if someone really were out here, then they’d find her eventually.

But no one responded.

Except Y/N could feel someone’s presence. Even though it was obvious that she was in the middle of nowhere – a snow covered forest with no civilization in sight – Y/N was convinced that she was not alone.

Her feet started carrying her in the direction she sensed was correct. Maybe this person wasn’t her enemy. Maybe they could share clothes or a blanket.

Y/N brushed carefully in between the heavy, snow-covered branches. She looked up and realized she was in a narrow valley between two mountains.

But when she looked back down at the path in front of her, she stopped in her tracks.

The red was so vibrant against the stark white ground. The puddle got bigger and bigger as the blood continued to flow onto the snow. The dark navy of his jacket even looked more saturated against the white.

This was why the setting felt so familiar, yet so foreign. This was the moment Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes fell from the train to his assumed death.

Y/N finally snapped out of it.

“Bucky!” She gasped before running forward.

She no longer felt the cold. She forgot she was completely naked in another time.

All Y/N could focus on was Bucky bleeding out in front of her.

She kneeled on the ground before him. “Bucky! Bucky, can you hear me?”

From his expression alone, she could tell he was in excruciating pain. Part of his arm had already been ripped off, but who knew what other injuries he received from the fall.

To Y/N’s shock, Bucky’s eyes fluttered open. But they seemed to close again just as quickly.

“Y/N?” His muttering made it clear that his pain and shock had made him delirious.

“Yes, Bucky, I’m here.” When had she started crying? “I’m here, Bucky. I’m here.”

She reached for his other hand, gripping it tightly and hoping it would make him realize he wasn’t alone.

“You look like an angel,” he slurred with his eyes closed.

Y/N smiled through her tears at how Bucky found a way to be charming, even when he was on the brink of death.

“Please,” he then begged. “Please.”

“Please what, Bucky?” Y/N sniffed as she gripped his hand tighter.

“Don’t leave me.”

Suddenly they were no longer alone. Men were shouting at each other and Y/N heard dogs barking.

“No,” she gasped. “No, no, no, no, no.”

It was Hydra, coming to fetch their long-lost experiment.

Y/N quickly looked around her, desperately searching for something she could use as a weapon to defend both her and Bucky.

She realized there was still a gun and knife strapped to both of Bucky’s thighs. Her hands were shaking as she unbuckled them.

In seconds, the men had turned the corner, arriving on sleds pulled by the dogs she had heard.

They spoke to each other in German or Russian, Y/N couldn’t tell the difference. When they caught sight of Y/N, they laughed and shoved each other playfully.  

But pointing a gun was a universal language, even if the person behind it was a naked and vulnerable woman. 

“Stay away from him,” Y/N growled.

She pulled the trigger. Except there was only one boom as it hit one of the them straight in the chest. Lucky shot, for Y/N had never fired a gun in her life. But that was all she was going to get, because the gun only had a single bullet.

Y/N bellowed in frustration and decided to throw the thing at another man, managing to make him duck in fear. But he quickly recovered and made his way to her.

She now gripped the knife tightly and readied herself.

As soon as he was in reach, she swung at him. But he was expecting it and dodged the blow.

Now it was obvious that she was not a trained agent of any sort. Hell, she was fighting in a snowbank completely naked.

The man seemed more entertained than threatened at the realization.

With the back of his hand, he swung and hit Y/N across the face.

She stumbled a bit and reached for her mouth, finding that her lip was now split and bleeding. “Fuck you,” Y/N hissed before she brought her knee up and slammed it right into the man’s groin. He howled in pain and keeled over, hitting the snow with a thud.

It bought Y/N just enough reprieve to realize the tingling had started again.

“No,” Y/N whimpered.

She rushed back to Bucky and slipped on the snow, falling to her knees just inches away from him.

“Bucky. Bucky, listen to me,” she begged.

He only groaned.

“You’re going to be OK. This isn’t it. I just need you to hold on, OK? Just hold on.” She was fully sobbing now. “Please…just-just stay strong.” She squeezed his hand. “We’re going to see each other again. You’re going to see Steve again. OK?”

But then his hand fell from her grip as her skin and bones evaporated through time.

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Chapter 22