#non-binary phobia

 TW: mention of a physical aggression

What is it? Have you ever heard about it? I sure haven’t. In fact, it’s possible that I’m creating the term.

When I talk about non-binaryphobia I refer to all the insults, aggressive attacks and discrimination we deal with due to being non-binary. It’s something relatively new, but it isn’t non-existent.

Many people don’t know what being non-binary means, so it’s difficult to classify a certain situation as non-binaryphobic, but I can give you some examples (in case you have experienced one or, if you’re an ally, to know what to do).

 1. “But you must be a man or a woman. There isn’t such thing as ‘being non-binary’”.

Well Sharon, I must inform you that we DO EXIST. No, you haven’t openly insulted me, but you have denied my own existence. How do you think that feels? Sharon here is saying that I feel and think are inventions, ideas my mind has made up. It invalidates my experience as non-binary.

So, if you think I’m exaggerating, consider if we told a trans guy that he’s “a girl”; if someone with mental health issues is told that they’re “faking it”; or if a lesbian woman is told that she’s “actually straight and just needs to suck a big dick” (this is transphobic too, btw).

 2. “Why do you use ‘they’? That’s grammatically incorrect! You’re a girl/boy, so you must use she/he!”

More or less the same issue AGAIN. I use ‘they’ because it’s the pronoun that represents me the best, so please don’t try to invalidate me. And, if doesn’t bother you, don’t use my deadname, please (yes, this happens to non-binary folk too).

Do you correct someone when they make typos? No? So don’t do the same with me; I’m perfectly aware of how ‘they’ is supposed to be used, thanks.

(This happens to me in Spanish A LOT)

 I could go on and on, but I’ll just tell y’all an aggression a friend of mine suffered.

My non-binary friend went to a disco with some of their female friends and, after paying, he was asked to pay the “ticket for men”, which means €5 more than the girls’. He tried to explained to the guard that they weren’t a girl and should therefore not pay for a men ticket (they were so fucking done he couldn’t stand more misgendering).

At this point, the guard started shouting at him and choke held him, leading to asphyxia.

My friend has reported the guard, but they have to run away from a fight taking place close to him because it is so anxiety-inducing that they can’t stand it.

And we’re still told we are faking it…

P.S. Remember I am here to listen and to answer any doubt you may have. If you want to further discuss this topic, we can do that but from respect.