#noir rambles

Oh shit! El! No!

Crap, Russia. I'm hoping Hopper gets home soon, because I don't know how much longer we can do this. I don't want it to drag out or get repetitive. And as I'm writing this, Hopper is literally getting dragged out

I like Nancy's hair. I don't like her mother's hair. Don't like her dad at all. Supposedly he's getting love now, but I still don't like him. Kind of useless. Boring. That's his character though, innit? Still better than Will. Oh, look, there's the child. Holly, is it? Whatever, I'll worry about it later

Dustin being smart, I love him. Cool t-shirt, too. "Byte off" lol. Nancy's a smart cookie, too. I love them

And El's hair is gone again. Reverse Samson. Poor girl. She's suffering too much. I swear, if she doesn't get a happy ending, I'm suing. How inhumane

Oh shit, this is Vecna, isn't it. Creepy stuff happening. Still unsettling without the gruesome sinewy stuff. Not that he looks unsettling. Just a normal, handsome guy. But his body language and demeanour is off putting. Good actor. Was in Harry Potter briefly

"This is so messed up" you're right dude. But these guys are used to this stuff. Dude needs to chill out. Smoke some weed

Will and Mike sitting together. Friends can't do that, they're definitely setting up romance. Sarcasm

Weed dude wanting to make him a grave, how sweet. What a lovely young man, I hope nothing bad happens to him

"Why would he give me a pen that doesn't work?" It turns into a sword! No, wait, that's Percy Jackson

Oh shit, he's seeing a clock

And creepy house. Would not want to go there

Nice, Robin! I like her

"Do you need to be told everything?" I do. Love Steve

Poor El! Why you making her suffer so much?! Trippy stuff going on. So I'm assuming Vecna was the one who killed all those people back in episode one?

Nice accent, Dustin. Good on you for quoting Sherlock Holmes

Shit! Scary! Why are you saying that, Robin?! What's wrong with you?! Nothing, you're great. But that's the worst thing to say when someone has webs in their hair

Nice, Max and Lucas moments! So sweet. "Your laugh" ahhhhhhhj. Max's look afterwords, you know he just laid on some romantic shit right there, and she loved it. Taken off guard. Good work, Lucas! Use the rizz, Luke! I know, not Luke, but just picture me sounding like Alec Guinness when you read that

Murray! Let's hope he wasn't bullshitting about that karate stuff. And he wasn't! Nice! Get him! Get him! Yes! Get the gun, Joyce! Shit! Shit! Shit! Kick him in the balls! Gauge his eyes out! Joyce, why are you shooting all Willy nilly?! Nice! Murray, you beautiful man! Oh shit. Bad news. Hope one can fly a plane. How hard could it be? Pretty hard, apparently. Especially when you can't read Russian. But who can? Not with those ridiculous letters. This isn't looking good. I doubt they'll be flying this thing any time soon

Good thing I'm not watching this alone in my room at night. I mean I have my dog, but still. Scary

This has me thinking, what song would I play if I had to get rid of Vecna? Hopefully I don't have to test that theory someday

Shit, the Blonde Douchebag is here. Run, Eddie, run! Swim! Bash them with your paddle!

This guy is going to die. Patrick. Let's hope Blonde Douchebag seeing this will help him realise it's not Eddie

Christ, what are they doing to El? That's right! Get him! Hope she has her powers now. Yes! Yes! That's it! Get him! Oh no, need a recharge

Okay, it's nearly one in the morning here. Perfect time to watch Stranger Things, right? Hope nothing scary happens. It's not like I don't have an active imagination. Have I ever mentioned the time when we were kids, my brother hid in our closet one time and came out and scared me? I think at the time our teacher, a Scot, greatest teacher ever, was reading us a scary book in school. I wonder how it will hold up if I read it today. "If" like I would ever do that. Too scary. So, because of that, I am now a 22 year old man who always checks his closet before going to bed. It's just my room now lol. Anyways, quite the tangent there, I hope nothing too scary happens in this episode. So, El is going to become a superhero again. Use the Force, El

Okay, not off to a great start with the not scary stuff. Little noise. Eerie hallway. Hope Steve protects his beautiful hair. Oh, thank God, it's just Lucas. I miss his scream. It's so high pitched

Yeah, Erica, tell that jerk off. Jason. Thank God he has his name written on his jacket, otherwise I would have forgotten and called him Douchebag the whole season. And you know what? I will. He will henceforth be known as "Blonde Douchebag"

Robin is better than an academic scholar. Not that I'm opposed to higher education, but there's better vibes to give off. Like quirky and cool. Like Robin. I've missed her, like the rest of the characters. But Robin

Oh, lovely, Russian music. May my grandmother forgive me for exposing my ears to this

50 to 1 odds, is that good? I've never understood odds, and I don't intend to

"She's not my woman" yes she is, you muppet. You're El's dad, she's El's mum. Parenting. And it's good for parents to be together. Which they are

Love this weed guy

God, poor Max. I know, I'm saying that a lot, and I know I'm going to be saying that a lot more throughout this watch

The wood panelling on the walls is not great. Never liked this sort of design

This mental hospital kind of looks like a church. And Robin says they look like they come from Easter brunch. So they fit it well

I really don't like guys like this. Good on Robin, quick thinking. She's amazing

Bears on a plane? What is this, a Samuel L. Jackson movie? Oh, okay, that did seem very ridiculous to be true. Good movie though. I'm liking this guy. He's a happy Russian

Let's hope these noises blend in with the work going on. But those gunshots won't. Dam. That's dynamite in Russian, yeah? Oh yay!

Poor Hopper, hope he doesn't lose a toe in the cold

I'm getting the sense this song is commentary on Max and Lucas' relationship

Wood panel walls. Great. Hate it

Uh oh. Darkness. "Nothing you don't deserve" shut up; she deserves the world! Shit! Shit! Scary! Oh, God! Yeah, bad idea to have watched at this hour. Still going though, it's compelling. Super Gwen vibes with the guilt and everything though

Now, back to the looney bin! Arkham Asylum type basement. Spooky. Scraping nails on the table, very unsettling stuff

Christ! His eyes! Nope! Nope! I'm out. Oh, thank God, back to the chill weed guy. Like his taste in music

Still don't like Will. The thing I hate about Will - in this sentence on particular because I hate a lot of things about Will - is that he's not a person. Not really. How many times have I felt the need to write "I like [insert character here]" or "poor [this character]"? Lots. Never felt that with Will. Ever. I don't feel like he's real. I feel that with all these other characters. Even Chrissy, and she was around for one episode. The whole gang I could see being real and wanting to hang out with. All except Will. So unless the writers pull something out of their ass, I won't change my feelings on him. And much like pulling things out of your ass, don't be surprised when it turns out to be shit

Bars!

That's not a note on anything else except that banger wisdom I just dropped

Shit! Shit! Shit! The hell is going on! Guns! Cool camera work though. One take, no mistake, put it in the oven, easy bake

And speaking of bake, the weed guy saved them! Get it? "Bake" like baked? As in totally high as a kit

Ah, the Lord hath provided Hopper with peanut butter

Shit! Never trust a Russian!

Scary! Scary! Shit! Shit!

Poor Max. Give Sadie an Emmy. Not that I put much stock in these political awards. Not political kind of "political" but playing favourites. Oscars are a worse offender. Of course it's not what's most important, but I like seeing actors and writers and composers I like getting recognition for their amazing work. Sadie being one of them

Okay, I didn't like this song when I heard it on the radio three years ago. I think as in the car with my dad. But now watching this? The context has made me think it's a certified banger. Ah, the power of films and television. Amazing scene, you were right, my friend

Cry me a river, I hate Angela. I love this weed guy, lol, it should have been an ice skate. Not really interested in weed, but he's super chill. "Hi Murray!" I'm liking Jonathan being high

Mike, what the heck lol, you're acting like it's a bad thing your girlfriend smacked that b-word. But I still don't know where the Mike hate comes from. He's still a normal human teenager

So is Vecna trying to get a proper, non-gross body back? Because he's looking less sinewy in the middle. Like he's got grey skin. Was that there before? Idk

Lucas, this better not be your bedroom with all the posters of women and the 69 thing. Oh good, it's not. But he's clearly in the wrong crowd. Go back to your friends. I don't like him being separated from them. I know, it's all about his story or arc about being comfortable with who he really is and whatnot, but I'm still sad to see it

Poor El. Give this girl a happy ending, dam it

Good El, call him out. Say you love her! I will say that he's ridiculous

Oh great, the cops. Yeah, but the handcuffs on the 1.6m girl. Are they allowed to do that without a guardian present? Does Jonathan count? Lovely, ads are coming up right now

Lovely, smoking on an aeroplane. How wonderful. I do not miss the 80s. But people vape these days, so what's the big deal? I do think people who vape are bigger douchebags than people who smoke

"Like this is going to save me if we crash" that's a good point

Was this back when Alaska was part of Russia? I don't know American history. If that guard wants the money in Alaska, he's probably in Alaska. Better than Siberia, at least. Oh, not Alaska, okay. So, when is Canada going to take Alaska?

lol Dustin's got his thinking cap on. Love that. Maybe the 80s weren't so bad after all

Come on, Steve, let Max drive. And Dustin, wipe your feet out of the vehicle, bloody hell. "Always the babysitter." Yes, know your role

Okay, Vecna's definitely looking more fleshy now. Gross, kissing. So he's doing a Professor X cerebro type thing to tap into people's pain and pick off the most vulnerable, yeah? Pretty creepy

Lucas, what the hell, dude?

And that blonde basketball douche, get out of here. Yeah, a girl died, but slow down. Lucas, this better smack some sense into you. Dustin is your best friend! So is Mike! Yeah, it sucks being bullied, but that's a problem with them. You like D&D and hanging out with them? Do it! Don't fall in with these morons

Grade 2 concussion? Nice! "Did you want to kill her?" I certainly wanted her to. Sorry not sorry. Oh, so she's a bit taller than what I guessed. Juvy?! So I guess Jonathan isn't a legal guardian. So I'm not really trusting the police here. Not that I ever did. They've never been very helpful in this show. Except for Hopper

I like Robin's rambling, just have to say. Say everything that comes to your mind, girl! So much easier when you don't have to guess what people are thinking

"Lucas, you're so behind it's ridiculous." Tell him, Max!

Oh no, scary government agents. Well, all government is scary

Jesus wept! Hopper's foot is gnarly

Pennhurst? Isn't that a haunted asylum! Pretty cool

Bigfoot is real, that's my take. Probably. I mean it's plausible and grounded in reality. He's not really supernatural, just a big ape type thing. And the Loch Ness Monster

Hey, that's the house from the Upside Down. So this is the right thing. Great work for a shot in the dark. Good work, Nancy. And I really like them assigning these D&D names to their creatures. Pretty cool stuff

Oh great, the basketball psychos. And Lucas is still with them. Fall in with the wrong crowd, dam it. Whatever, I know he's good at heart, these guys are just stupid. I know they're not really bad guys, but I won't shed a tear if they bite the dust

Is this a reverse Samson thing? Shave his head, he loses his strength. Shave El's head, get her powers back? Probably a little more complicated than that, but I'm sure she's losing her hair again. Not really a bad thing g she can make a buzz cut work. And thee don't seem to be bad guys. Okay, trust back on

Oh no, headaches! Max can't be next! Good Lord, help her. I mean I've seen the trailer for five, I know she's alive. But still, trauma. Great (sarcasm)

Oh shit! Scary voice!

Dumbass, Mike, say you love her! "From Mike" what the fuck is this? And Mike is tall, jeez. Too bad about 80s fashion

God, Lucas, I hoped for better for you. Don't drink, play D&D with your friends!

Okay, Joyce is normally right. How long are we going to do this dance? "I'm right I know it sounds crazy but I'm right." After like the third time, you should listen. This has to be the fourth

I like Mike and El together. Not as compelling as Lucas and Max, but I still like them. They're cute. Don't like Will, still. I'm waiting to like him, not really with an open mind, admittedly. It's ajar. Slightly

God, scary! This glasses kid is definitely going to die, isn't he

Long haired weed guy is making sense. Communicate. Tell her the truth, you moron. I'm still not on any ship train with Nancy. Jonathan? Not a good idea imo. Steve? He's a good guy, but I don't feel a spark on that ship

Poor El. I want to see that blonde girl get slimed

Fuck yeah! Don't act like you're a victim. I want to say that I don't advocate for violence.... but I do, because sometimes in life, people need to get punched. And this is one of those times

Tardy to the party in watching S4 of Stranger Things, and I wrote down my thoughts while watching and I'm just posting them here for fun lol. So welcome to my thoughts where I write everything I think. Efficient? No, probably not

Oh, this guy. I don't like him

Buzz cuts? Poor kids

Oh gross, so many dead people

Eleven! Hey, how did they get a kid that looks exactly like her at like 8 years old? Probably not the mystery I should be focusing on

Door open three inches. Good job

Awww, she's got a picture of Mike in front of her desk!

"Maybe it is for a girl" ha!

Oh, Jonathan, you pothead. Do better. And his haircut. Tragic. Not as tragic as Will's, but still. He could do with a buzz cut. So could Will

I don't like Los Angeles. That's where this takes place, right? Oh, Lenora Hills. Close enough

Jeez, why are people so mean?

Mike could use a haircut, too. But he's still handsome

Dustin! Yay!

Steve and Robin! Good for him for giving the advice

The fashion in the 80s really is tragic. And the hair. You should have seen my parents back then. I'm glad I didn't. Except for the photos every now and again. It really is awful. Even outside of America.

Quick tangent, yay Max! She's pretty. No tragic haircut or style, thank God

I've never understood the concept of pep rally's. Or marching bands. Or school spirit. Especially at the university level. But I'm getting off topic, yay Lucas! This head honcho basketball white guy does not look like he's in high school. Not really fired up about his speech. I think my attitude towards this is like Mike's, if his face is anything to go off of. I mean I love sports as much as the next guy. Some, at least. But it's high school, who cares? Get pepped about something important. Or give them some weed to mellow them out. And the popular crowd is overrated. I'm pretty sure their head is filled with sawdust. I'm not sure if anything like this ever happened at my school. If it did, I certainly didn't know

Oh God, Russian music

Jane?! Oh, right. Jane. El is better. Why couldn't they name her El... what's El short for? Oh, Elizabeth, that's one. Anyways, why are they laughing for her picking her dad as her hero? He's awesome. God, I hate these kids. Poor El

Poor Max

Spooky bathroom lighting. It's like they're just asking to be attacked. And there it is. Bad feet. Poor girl, too

How old is that leather jacket guy?

Oh, he's probably been held back. Like Eddie. I like this fella. Bad hair, but it's forgivable

Vecna name drop? Is that just a name they assign to him or is it real? Or a coincidence. Tune in next week to find out, I guess

God, Nancy and Jonathan need to communicate better

I would totally buy Mike and/or Dustin's sales pitch to play D&D

Love Max's sarcasm, I missed that

Eddie and Chrissy have a pretty good vibe. Good dialogue

Nasty kids. Get them, El

God, Will's fashion is tragic

Why aren't her powers working? Did I miss something? Yeah, she probably shouldn't use them in public, but still. I want to see that b-word get wrecked

Oh, God, I don't want to see Murray in a towel

Ha, love Erica

No, Lucas, you idiot! Go with your friends, not them!

Oh shit, scary stuff!

Fuck! Mouth and eyes! Jeez!

Oh good God!

What the hell it's going on?!

I'm assuming this nutter is Vecna. No nose; scary. Bad fingers. And I don't want my autocorrect to change his name to vegan. Not sure what's worse

She's gonna die, isn't she. Christ! That's so scary!

This one kinda stood out to me for the fact it made me woke up emotional? It was weird. Warning, I ramble. I ramble a lot. And also my knowledge of samurai is poor so excuse that too.