#no push

The first rule of success in business is location, location, location Without a good location, it’s improbable to be able to service a demographic that is in need of your services, but that’s if you have anything to offer. Nonetheless, if you do not- Such a quandary is not to be understood. That in itself is becoming in the vilest sense “regular”; in such ‘to not be named’ dream deserts of truck stops where escapism by co-dependence on a number of depressants (of which this President of ours has declared a ‘national state of emergancy’), by courtesy of Monsanto and ‘Gucci Gang’s’ usher’s the path to the age of 40 and beyond; where one gazes into a weather-worn gravity challenged face that simply has attained such a look of experience because an act of God or not tip-toeing through life has not resulted in their untimely demise. 

I've been hard at work trying to write this book (still untitled (I know most people say to title it at the end but I feel like it could help me in the long run if I title it now)), and for some reason, I come to many giant pauses.  It is not because I don't know where to go - I have a whole journal mapping out every in and out that this book is giong to offer.  It's because I just...wanted to stop.

I had no push to continue writing, or to finish the page I was on.  I just stopped, saved, and walked away.

And I don't know necesarilly why.  I know where I'm going with the story, and I believe I have the ability to actually write this book, but I just don't feel like I have the drive right now to get this done.  Of course, I still have school, so that doesn't help much.  And I have reviews to still write up and television to recap (seriously, Revolution needs to step up and be a good show tonight). But I also have weekends, and times where I don't have school that I could be working on the book.  But instead I find something else to do with my time instead of doing what I want to do.

One thing that I feel like is just hindering me is the lack of push I am getting.  I have told a couple of friends about this, and my family, but no one is harking on me to sit down and get this done.  I know that some people might find this irritating, but I find it rather supportive.  They WANT me to finish this thing.  They WANT this thing to succeed.

But I have a lack of that in my life right now.  Sucks but it's true.

So I'm at an impass of sorts.  I have my first chapter of the book done, ready to be re-written and revised until my standards are met.  But I have 90% + of the book left to do, and I need to get this shit done.  I just wish I had someone on my shoulder yelling at me to make it happen.

I know I shouldn't be wanting something like that, but what helps me is always going to be different than what helps you.  And what helps me is a big push.