Jul 2, 2017
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I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm right here.
I'm here and I'm overwhelmed.
This world is so LOUD.
Overwhelmingly loud. Everyone is trying to be heard.
I'm trying to be heard.
Over screaming voices.
I'm one of millions of voices.
I'm one of millions.
Where do you find worth in that?
How do you find worth,
when you are spec.
But I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm here and I'm not leaving.
So I guess I will embrace this self.
This little spec of a self.
And I will be quiet.
I will be quiet because I cant stand for this world to be any louder.
I am quiet.
But I am here.
Quietly here.
Hold On Tight To Right Now.
I just ferociously cut a path across downtown listening to "interviews with David Frost'. The funny thing about the lyrical content of most early 2000's "emotive hardcore" was this message of living in the now and experiencing everything that life had to offer. It was about fearing old age, laziness, apathy, misplace anger, waste.... It was about giving a shit about yourself and your friends. If you were lucky and you heard these warnings then you did you damnedest to be present and alive... and with that, oh lord the fucking magic that was created. Fucking believe in something powerful and you will be powerful.... I'M TALKING ABOUT SCREAMO Y'ALL! (not really though) (but yeah a little)
Thinking too much too hard.
Sometimes I start to watch a long running tv show and as the drama builds, as the stakes raise, as more stuff is on the line, I start getting antsy and inevitably read the Wikipedia page for the show. Like I’m gonna watch the whole thing, I’m gonna sit and enjoy 40+ hours of a tv show but I can’t just sit and not know what is going to happen to Mcnutty in the end…. skip ahead? Now I bring this up because as a person who feels this kind of anxiety over a fucking tv show how badly do you think I wish for the option to read my own Wikipedia page. Skip to my 30’s… read ahead on my 40’s…. read the sub-articles about my accomplishments, see if I have been disgraced and probably read about my death. It’s times like right now where I just wanna see the rules, the map, the future… Gimme a fucking sign already. Tell me where I’m supposed to stand. Shit.