#nmtd fic

Today I bring you a fic I wrote literally a million years ago, before nmtd was even over, and then completely forgot existed until just now. The only thing I added were the last three lines. I’m uploading this because I’m beadick trash, and I miss those two dorks.

(ao3 link)

906 words

Hero was adamant that she would not have a birthday party for her seventeenth.

Adamant for Hero, anyway. She would look Bea steadily and pleadingly in the eye, give one little shake of her head, and say ‘Bea… no. Just no, ok? I don’t need to. It’s fine, everything’s fine, but I don’t want a party. Look, I’d love to have just a sleepover. Just you, and me, and the girls. That’s all I need.’

Bea argued for a while, suggesting different scenarios that included all of their friends. It had really bugged her, that Hero had looked forward so much to her sweet sixteenth. She suggested many variations on a sweet seventeenth, until Hero pulled the I Don’t Want to Talk About This Anymore card. So Beatrice backed off, said respectfully, ‘Ok, we will definitely not have a sweet seventeenth birthday party,’ and turned silent.

…Too silent.

What are you up to, Hero would say when they’d talk on the phone, in between mountains of school work. (Hero had known Beatrice for far too long not to know when something was up, but the trouble was, you could never quite predict what up might be.)

Nothing, Bea would say airily. Nothing, nothing at all… that you need to know about, she would add to herself.

Bea knew a surprise party was not the way to go. Not a surprise tea party, not a surprise dinner out.  

Semantics were the key to an effective birthday celebration.

***

It started as Hero had planned. Just herself, Beatrice, Meg and Ursula – they’d all come over for a sleepover on the weekend. Hero had relaxed somewhat regarding birthday-related trauma, and had agreed to (a) birthday cake (b) cookie-baking (c) fairy lights. She had drawn the line at balloons. When Beatrice asked about chocolate salad for dinner, Hero had snorted and said (as Beatrice had hoped she would), sure, for entrée, but for mains she wanted pizza.

A directive I shall remind you of … later, Beatrice thought smugly.

The others wondered if they should say anything birthday-related at all, but after the first tentative little ‘Happy birthdays’, Hero had rolled her eyes, and said ‘Come on, I’m not made of glass. Besides, 17 can’t come fast enough. I’ve been looking forward to it.’ They’d worked their way through the cookies (Hero had wanted to try a new recipe – Nutella stuffed brown butter chocolate chip) and were feeling like it was time for something more. Ursula caught Beatrice’s eye, turned to Hero and said, ‘I’m still hungry… I think it’s pizza time.’

‘Yes, pizza!’, said Meg and Beatrice, a little too forcefully.

My plan is almost complete…

‘Ye-es, pizza time’, Hero echoed, looking at them strangely. ‘Beatrice, will you call?’

This is too easy! thought Beatrice. She strode to the window and opened it. ‘Pizza, oh pizza, wherefore art thou Pizza,’ she cried dramatically to the night. Then she turned to Hero.

‘Here’s some I prepared earlier,’ Beatrice purred, and motioned grandly with her hand for Hero to come look outside.

Hero could hear soft music as she moved towards the window, raising an eyebrow for Beatrice’s benefit. With her eyes adjusting to the light, she couldn’t see right away, but she could definitely hear…

Benedick, Claud, Pedro and Balthazar, all quietly singing and – as her eyes adjusted to the light - loudly gesticulating with pizza boxes in hand…

Sun is shinin' in the sky There ain't a cloud in sight It's stopped rainin' everybody's in a play  And don't you know It's a beautiful new day hey, hey Runnin' down the avenue See how the sun shines brightly in the city  On the streets where once was pity  Mister blue sky is living here today hey, hey Mister blue sky please tell us why  You had to hide away for so long  Where did we go wrong?

They all began to jump around wildly for the guitar solo, and Hero turned to Beatrice, trying to frown while laughing, and failing. ‘I said no surprise parties, Beatrice!’

Hey you with the pretty face Welcome to the human race A celebration, mister blue sky's up there waitin' And today is the day we've waited for 

As the boys finished their song, moving not really at all seamlessly into Happy Birthday while they trooped around to the front door, Beatrice assumed her patented I Am Always Right face. ‘Correct, dear cousin. This is not a surprise party. Please note: no one has jumped out from behind anything and yelled ‘Surprise’. You asked for a sleepover’ – Ursula and Meg, who had been singing along, paused and looked modest – ‘and pizza. But you failed to specify from whom you wished to order pizza; and you also made no rules against surprises regarding your pizza; or delivery men joining us to consume it.’ She beamed at Hero, who really wasn’t mad, after all.

‘Surprise pizza. Now I have to make sure, for future birthdays, when I say ‘I definitely do not want to have  X’, to specify to not have… surprise pizza.’

‘Well, you can, but then you would not only miss out on pizza, but-‘

‘You’ll just work out some other way to twist my words?’

‘Well I wouldn’t put it quite like that-‘

‘Thank you, Beatrice. It’s just the right number of people.’ Hero spoke quietly. The cousins hugged, hard, then went towards the table, where the others had started on the pizza.

***

i asked joking5 if she had some prompts for me for nmtd fanfic

she made some good suggestions 

‘beadick’ 

‘radio silence’

inspired, i began to write. 

when i read what i had written

i realised

to my horror

i had written a fanfic basically saying how hero regretted her radio silence because she missed time at school 

not like

Aw man I missed something hilarious

or even

Gosh I missed my friends 

but no

just guff about studying for senior year

just like a complete dork 

just like me

it is probably a completely unrelated fact that my recurring anxiety dream is that i am back at school doing my own senior year and i forgot to study for the end of year exams, right? 

...

274 words

It took Beatrice a full three months to stop blushing almost every time she said Benedick's name. She blushed when Hero would ask innocently 'How was Benedick today, Beatrice' as they ate dinner. Hero couldn't help but snicker, just a little. She blushed when she mentioned to her parents that she was going to see a movie with him. (It was over the phone, but they could tell.) Her parents couldn't help but laugh gently, just a little. She blushed in Stats class when she had to refer to him for a final assignment they'd worked on together. Certain class members who shall remain unnamed dug each other in the sides and tried not to guffaw as the teacher reminded them sharply this was chance to talk about a final assessment... then turned away to grin to herself, just a little. The tension between Beatrice and Benedick had been memorable throughout the year, and it was sweet to watch it resolve like this. She blushed whenever she saw Ben striding towards her, holding out his arms for a hug before walking home together. But Benedick, strange to say, he wouldn't laugh, or tease her about blushing. Not even a little. He'd grin tenderly at her, he'd make fun of her for everything else, including when she beat him on the stats assignment (he’d called her an insufferable egghead). Their relationship didn't change in that regard. He loved her blushes too much. Besides, it was easy to make Beatrice blush from saying his name. He preferred to make her blush by whispering things for her ears only. She never lost the habit of those blushes.

***

381 words

Inside Bea's Head

A confidential interview series. 

Tell us about yourself. 

Hello, people of the internet! Hah, I never get tired of saying that, even when I'm taking an internet break. How are you all? I am doing great. Just great! Fine! And! Dandy! That's me. And Hero. And everyone. And, yes, Ben. Yes. Ben. I have finally learned how to say his name without blushing :blushes: okaaayyyy maybe I have not but, um, a girl can hope. Arghhh ok. Look. Yes. I admit it. I may just have had the summer of my life and it may be partially, a little bit, maybe to do with a certain lanky presence. Yes. You know who it is. :pause: It's, a giraffe. 

Tell us something we don't know

At this point I no longer assume that people know anything and so it would be against my MO, agenda, and general policy approach to let you know anything other than telling you face to face because that way, my friends, trouble lies. Oh yes indeed. :looks sombre:  

Oh fine. I did not throw That Flamingo into the mangoes on purpose. :mutters: wish I had though

Also, I am still pretty much right about everything, in case you were wondering. I realise you probably already know that if you were paying attention at all in the past year, or that you should. But just in case. :points at self: Me. I'm right. Oh yeah. 

***

Bea was so very, very in love with Ben, she was afraid to even think about it too much, even when she couldn't help it. She worried about everything inwardly. She worried that Ben's easy acceptance of it all would mean he would easily let her go. She worried that they had too much fun; that they were too happy. She worried about this most when they couldn't come to an easy agreement about where to be and what to do over the next two years. She felt better that they could at least agree not to talk about it until they had to. And when that time came, she had to admit, if only to herself, that Ben had been right - the future she was worrying about was not at all terrible, and in fact so much better than the best she had imagined. 

***

joking5​! 

605 words

Inside Benedick's Head… during the summer

A confidential interview series.  

Tell us about yourself. 

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! Well, I'm Ben, I don't know that I really need an introduction. You know me. Ben. Ben Ben. Good old Benny Ben BeneDICK. I have very lonnng lanky limbs, too long really, and I talk a lot. A lot a lot a lot. :pause to breathe: A lot. Something else of which a lot has happened is the past year. I don't think I quite got that sentence right but never mind. Gosh. I just don't know. How far your mind can go in a year. It's been huge. Not just the whole, Bea thing, which, is, just, a-mazing. Hero and Claud and Pedro and Balthy and parties and fights and aggressive laundry folding... oh yeah and this thing called school, yeah well, that is over baby. Like we were all just kind of goofing around, with these videos, but there's been a lot of hard work outside of that. 

Tell us something we don't know.  

Bea would never mention it, but she's actually quite brainy. But she's very keen on this gap year thing still. 

Oh, you mean about me. :thinks: Well, look this is about me, because whatever's about her, is about me. I find I'm in this weird kind of... limbo? We're enjoying being with each other soo much, but I just don't know what's going to happen. We've both agreed to enjoy the summer as it is, and when we get to the decision point, we're each going to make our decisions. 

Except now I've made the decision to be with her, I don't know what I'll do about any decision that involves... not being with her. 

I don't know, I just don't know! And I can't just write a song about this. Or make a video. It's been good having a break from vlogging, actually. Um. You probably know that Bea really wants to go overseas. And I really want to go to University. Bea does too, she's just not really decided. And I think she's kind of doing this stubborn, I'm not changing my plans for you thing. Like she’s a woman and so she’s not changing my plans for a man. And I would, but I'd kind of rather just get right into uni, you know? We should start uni now, because we can travel any time. Look at all the holidays, we'll have so many holidays! I mean, I want to. Not we. She can actually do what she likes. But she sees it the other way around. Which is not the logical way. Obviously.  

It's just hard, because, I finally feel like we've sorted things out. I mean, I didn't know things weren't the way they were meant to be. All this, with Bea - it feels meant to be. Being apart does not feel meant to be. Or meant to Bea. Haha. 

***

For the most part, Ben and Bea did a pretty good job of agreeing to not talk about Next Year for the summer. It was too hard. Ben really, really wanted to start straight at University; Bea really, really wanted a break. They hadn't planned early enough to go during the summer break together then, and there was too much tension about the whole idea because Ben would only start pushing to wait until later in the year, and Bea would get cranky. 

When they concentrated on the present, they could get on. Well, for them. 

Benedick didn't want to overwhelm Beatrice, but when he looked at her, he always felt a pang that he just didn't want to waste any more time not being with the best person he knew. 

***

joking5!

545 words

Inside Claudio's Head

A confidential interview series. 

Tell us about yourself. 

I'm Claudio, I go to Messina High, I like football a lot, I... I've been a bit of a prick really, a big one, but I'm really trying to do better. Hero, she's so good, honestly I would tell her not to have anything to do with me, if I were her friend. She's been so good. I keep trying to make it up to her. I think, I mean I think I have really fucked this up permanently. I can't believe I was so stupid. Sorry... I'm going on about this again... She doesn't want me to do that. I think Beatrice would be pretty happy if I felt bad forever about the stupid way I acted. 

I wouldn't like to tell her but the way I'm going I think probably I will feel bad forever about it. 

I'm glad I'm back playing footy. That's the one good thing. Leo seems to have mostly forgiven me as well. 

Tell us something we don't know.  

Hero and I have been talking a lot, which I feel really grateful for. But something's still kind of, broken. I feel her slipping away from me and I keep telling myself I should just be happy she's even forgiven me as much as she has. I know everyone looks at us and thinks she is giving me way too much time and probably they are right. I just don't want it to stop. What happens when ... :groans: How can you fuck things up so badly, with someone ... just... so lovely? Ugh. 

***

Claudio took what he could get with Hero. She was quite happy to give him the time of day; they slipped back into some of their old habits and hangouts. Sometimes it felt like before and they'd both forget. Hero was better at forgetting than Claud. 

Hero wanted things... not to be like they were before, but for things to continue in a more positive direction. She knew everyone felt she was too good, too kind, but they didn't know about the resentment she felt and tried to push down. It was a small feeling inside her that wouldn't go away. If she could forget about it... Why couldn't Claud? 'He keeps making this about him', the little voice would say. 'It's not about him. This is about you, and your feelings.' 'But it is him', she'd argue with herself, 'he made a mistake, he's the one with the bad judgement... it doesn't say anything about me at all.'

'It doesn't', the argument would continue, 'but the fact that you're still giving him an audience for his sooking does.'

In the end it took a proper separation and some actual time apart. For Hero to find out that other people could be casually cruel and have no passion behind the words; that even when they fuck up, it's still rare to find someone who gets you, and who wants to try to get you when they don't understand. For Claud to finally forgive himself for being a dickhead, to practice doubting his first instinct to attack others. For admitting to himself that Hero was perfection but not fragile. When they bumped into each other again, it was better, and they could try again. 

***

joking5!