#nirby writes

Hayden was in a good mood that night. Everyone on the Metros was. They’d beat Boston, which was always a wonderful feeling. His mood didn’t even sour when JJ kicked him out of their shared hotel room for the sake of bringing a girl over. Nothing could take him off of his high. He’d simply gone to the front desk and asked for a keycard to Shane’s room since he knew he’d gotten a room to himself that day. What better way to end the day than to spend the night sharing a room with his best friend, right?

That’s what he thought until he opened the door to Shane’s room. In hindsight, maybe he should’ve knocked. He stopped dead in his tracks, stunned at the sight in front of him. Shane was on a bed making out with Ilya Rozanov? What? What was happening? Didn’t Shane have a girlfriend?

“Shane!” Hayden exclaimed. “What the fuck are you doing? Are you cheating on Lily?” Shane shoved Rozanov off him, eyes wide with horror.

Hayden was shocked. His friend was a good guy. Why would he be cheating on the girl he’d been seeing for years? Sure, he’d had a thing with Rose for a bit, but he wasn’t texting Lily during that time. He figured they’d broken up. And after that thing with Rose ended, he’d seen him texting Lily like normal again. So, what the hell was going on? And why did Rozanov have a shit-eating grin? Did he have no shame?

“Hayden, this isn’t what it looks like,” Shane stammered. Oh, sure. Go with the cliché line. “I can explain!”

“Really? Really, Shane?” He’d never met Lily, but he was angry on her behalf. How could Shane do this to her? And why did Rozanov’s smile only grow with time? Did he feel some sort of pride in corrupting Shane’s morals? In turning his best friend into a cheater?

Shane grimaced, silent for a long moment. “The truth is…”

“Hello, nice to meet you, I’m Lily,” Rozanov interrupted, holding out his hand to Hayden. What?

“Ilya!” Shane admonished.

Rozanov shrugged, “What? You were taking too long.” What?

Shane sighed, turning back to Hayden, “I really didn’t want you to find out like this.” He took a deep breath. “I’m gay. Ilya is my boyfriend. Lily was a fake name.” He relayed the facts quickly and matter-of-factly, like he was listing items on a grocery list.

Hayden didn’t know what to say. He knew he should say something. Probably something encouraging since his best friend just came out to him. But his brain was broken. Of all the people Shane could’ve chosen to date, it had to be Ilya Rozanov? There had to be nice gay men in Montreal, right?

Hayden could see the rising panic on Shane’s face, so he knew he had to say something fast. “Ilya Rozanov? Of all people?” That was the wrong thing to say. “I’m sorry,” he rushed to apologize. “But…really?”

Rozanov laughed. Like, really laughed. Like this was the most hilarious thing ever. Shane just glared at him. Hayden continued, “So, does this mean that Ilya is gay, too? What about all the scandals with women?”

Rozanov gave Shane a look that seemed to say, This is your best friend? “Bisexuality exists, Pike,” he said, rolling his eyes. Then, under his breath, so quietly that Hayden almost didn’t hear him, “I thought you of all people would know that.”

“What was that?” What did he mean by that?

“Ilya.” Shane gave his boyfriend a warning look and Rozanov immediately pulled himself together. Hayden had never seen anything like it. Was it possible for Rozanov to be reigned in? To not be a complete asshole all the time? It sounded fake. “By the way,” Shane added, suddenly very serious, “this goes out to no one.” 

“Of course.” It seemed obvious that it would have to remain a secret, but he reassured his friend nonetheless. He’d seen some of the…less savory reactions to Scott Hunter after he came out. Some of the guys in their sport were terrible. (Even some of the guys on their team.)

Hayden decided to switch course, trying to lighten the mood. “So, he makes you happy?” That was the important thing, right? Even if Rozanov was an asshole and he didn’t like the guy at all.

His best friend smiled softly, “Yeah, he does.”

“Then, I’m happy for you, man.” He really, really was.

For a while there, he worried about Shane. He knew that he always focused on hockey 100% of the time. When he found out about “Lily,” he thought maybe his friend would find some balance. But then years passed and nothing changed. He was worried that Shane would give up on love. Sure, it wasn’t the only way to be happy, but with how happy Jackie made him, Hayden just wanted his best friend to get that, too. Maybe he did, now.

Apparently, Rozanov couldn’t be contained for very long. “Why are you here?” Shane shot him another look and Rozanov withered again.

Hayden sighed, “JJ kicked me out of our room to have a girl over, and I thought Shane was alone.” Rozanov frowned. Clearly, he and Shane had some plans that he’d just ruined. “I’m not leaving,” he added, in case Rozanov tried kicking him out.

Rozanov turned to Shane, expression softer, almost pleading. He laced his fingers through Shane’s, tugging lightly, “Come home with me.”

“No, you know I have an early flight, Ilya. I’ll never make it back here in time to leave with everyone else if I go with you.” His tone was firm, but apologetic. Like he was gently scolding a puppy.

Rozanov let out a dramatic sigh, “Ok.” He gave Shane the most tender kiss Hayden had ever seen. Shane looked lovestruck when he pulled away. “I will see you in a few weeks, yes? I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Shane murmured with a dopey smile. Then Rozanov grabbed his jacket and left.

Hayden was in shock. Since when was Rozanov soft and sweet like that? Clearly, his best friend had quite the effect on him. “So, when’s the wedding?” He was only half joking. Based on what he’d seen, he’d break Rozanov in two if he ever broke Shane’s heart. Which meant that the only answer was being together forever. Even if it meant that he’d have to see Ilya Rozanov for the rest of his life, too.

Shane blushed, “Someday.”

Adrien was restless. Now, more than ever, he had a lot of free time. Yes, Nathalie had kept the extracurriculars he liked, like piano and fencing, to try and keep some normalcy, but without photoshoots and a looser schedule, he would often find himself in his room with nothing to do. So, there he was, aimlessly walking around his room, his homework finished, the sun slowly setting in the horizon, absolutely bored. And also kind of lonely. 

It wasn’t Nathalie’s fault, of course. There was a lot she had to take care of after his father died, including finding a new job. Now that she had one, he didn’t see her nearly as often as before. Though Adrien knew they probably had enough money to not need it, Nathalie had explained that she needed to have something to do when things slowed down and that, while it was very generous of him, she didn’t want to live off Adrien’s inheritance since she wasn’t entitled to any of it. (It seemed like there might’ve been a little more there, a hint of resentment maybe or even disgust at the mention of his father, but Adrien couldn’t figure out what it really was, so he ignored it.)

Now, Christmas was approaching. Adrien was trying to ignore that fact, but it was difficult when decorations were already being placed in shops and around Paris and when holiday music was already playing on the radio. It seemed that every advertisement he came across when watching something or walking around had to do with the holiday and the importance of spending time with family. He didn’t want to think about the fact that this would be his first Christmas as an orphan. 

“Plagg,” Adrien grumbled, “what should I do?”

The creature, who had been devouring a whole wheel of camembert, paused his activities for a moment. “I don’t know, you can watch a movie or something.” 

“I don’t feel like it.”

“Ok, then play video games.”

“I don’t think I really want to do that, either.”

Plagg sighed, fully placing the last piece of his camembert on his plate and looking at Adrien as though he’d interrupted something of great importance. As though Plagg didn’t just eat three other wheels of camembert in the past hour. “If you’re gonna say that to everything I suggest, then I don’t know what to tell you, kid.”

Adrien rolled his eyes, “You gave me two suggestions.”

“Whatever.” He plopped the final piece of his camembert into his mouth, swallowing it whole. “The point is, I tried. If you don’t want to do those things, then stare at the ceiling.”

Adrien sighed, falling back onto his bed to do just that. Maybe if he stared at the ceiling hard enough then he’d get an idea that he actually wanted to do. His phone pinged, giving him something else to pay attention to other than the very interesting ceiling. It was a notification from Marinette, she’d liked his message. 

Marinette… He smiled at the sight of her name on his phone, a sparkly heart emoji right next to it. He was so, so lucky to be with her. Even with all of the chaos and everything that happened in the past few weeks, she was still there by his side. 

All of his friends had been so great. So supportive, so comforting, so ready to let him cry on their shoulders. And the extra time he’d had lately meant that he could hang out with them more often, which was also nice. All of it helped, but he still couldn’t help but feel a crushing weight of guilt.

If he had been present, if he had been there by Ladybug’s side, then maybe his father would’ve still been alive today. Maybe the butterfly miraculous wouldn’t have been lost again to some new villain. Maybe Ladybug wouldn’t have gotten hurt, causing his father to sacrifice himself. Maybe he would’ve been the one to sacrifice himself. That was part of his job, wasn’t it? 

Adrien sat up, running a hand through his hair agitatedly. He couldn’t just sit here in his room. All it did was give him time to think and thinking… wasn’t the best thing right now. 

“Plagg, let’s go for a run.”

“What? But I just—“ Plagg paused his whining. Maybe he saw something in Adrien’s expression that made him stop. He softened, “Alright, kid, let’s go for a run.”

----

Marinette couldn’t take it anymore. Ok, maybe that was a bad way of phrasing that. But she had a real, huge, gigantic problem: Adrien. Well, not Adrien, Adrien, but all of the secrets she was keeping from him. If she sat still for a moment too long, then she’d think about how she still hadn’t told him about how he was a senti-being and that his father wasn’t actually a martyr who sacrificed himself for the greater good, but a villain. 

Worst of all, she hadn’t even told Chat Noir, her partner, what really happened that night yet because she wasn’t sure if she could. What if she told Chat Noir and then he told Adrien? Gabriel’s dying wish was literally that Adrien would never find out that he was a villain. She just couldn’t let that happen. Not even because it was Gabriel’s dying wish, but because she couldn’t handle it if Adrien got hurt by that information.

She’d seen him when she had to tell him his father died. She’d seen how it had broken his heart and she couldn’t bear to see that in him again. So, maybe she was a terrible girlfriend for not being entirely truthful, but how could she be when it would only hurt him more? 

The only way she could cope with any of this was: 1. Stay as busy as physically possible so as to not think about it and 2. Think of it as a Ladybug problem, not a Marinette problem. Marinette didn’t know that Adrien was a senti-being. Marinette didn’t know that Gabriel Agreste was Monarch. Marinette didn’t know about the wish. Only Ladybug did.

Of course, this didn’t work as well as she wanted to. After all, she wasn’t transformed when the wish happened, so Marinette did know about the wish. Not to mention, Kagami and Felix knew that Marinette knew about Adrien being a senti-being and Nathalie knew that Marinette knew about Gabriel’s wish and the fact that he was Monarch. But Nathalie and Kagami had also been there when Adrien found out about his father’s death, so maybe that would keep them from saying anything for now. 

Perhaps one of the biggest issues was that Adrien constantly thanked her, Alya, and Nino for being there for him. Every “thank you” was delivered with the most earnest, sincere, sweet smile and felt like a dagger to the heart because Marinette knew that she was keeping very big secrets about his life from him. 

So, Marinette occupied her time doing what she did best: making Adrien a lot of presents. It was good timing too, with the holidays coming up. She tried making the best possible excuses for them too. When she made him a bunch of presents in the weeks following his father’s passing, it was easy to pass them off as presents to help cheer him up. When it was close to Halloween, she used that as the reason. 

It was harder to think up ideas for fall, but All Saints’ Day allowed her to make him more gifts. That was a particularly hard time, since it meant it would bring up talk of Adrien’s dead parents and it was difficult to watch Adrien feel so lonely and hurt while knowing she contributed to that. Of course, she and her friends were there for him, but sometimes it was hard to tell how he was feeling. Sometimes it felt that, like her, he was putting up a facade to keep them from worrying. But maybe she was wrong and looking too deeply into it. 

Now, with Christmas just around the corner, Marinette tried to occupy her time making him presents for that holiday too. Some delusional part of her brain hoped that if she made him enough presents, then maybe it would be enough to make up for the secrets she was hiding and ease her guilt. It wasn’t working.

“Tikki, what should I do?” Marinette asked, as she often did nowadays. A barely started project lay abandoned on her work desk. “Am I making the right decision, keeping all of this from him?” She thought of Adrien, her wonderful boyfriend, alone in that giant mansion, thinking his father died a hero. She thought of Chat Noir, her partner, who still didn’t know the full story behind what happened that day. 

“Well, Marinette, I think that you’re doing the best you can. Things will work out eventually,” Tikki supplied, as she often did, unhelpfully. Marinette groaned. 

Maybe she just needed to clear her head. Keeping busy was clearly not helping her tonight. Maybe getting some fresh, crisp winter air could help. Or maybe it would freeze her brain. But, would that be so bad? “Tikki, I think we should go for a run to get some of this extra energy out.”

Tikki smiled sympathetically, “Sounds like a good idea!”

But, before Marinette could call for her transformation, a knock came from her window. She whipped her head around as Tikki zipped away into hiding, finding Chat Noir waving at her with a wide smile. “Oh, it’s just you,” she let out a relieved sigh; ever since that day, she’d been on edge. She rolled her eyes at him, opening the window to let him in. 

“Hey, princess,” he greeted with a dramatic bow as soon as he was inside.

“Let me guess, you were in the area and wanted some fresh pastries, didn’t you?” She asked with a raised eyebrow, crossing her arms. He seemed to be coming around a lot more often lately and always for the same thing. She couldn’t blame him though, her parents’ pastries were the best, and it was nice to have a friend come by.

“Well, it is the season of giving, isn’t it?” He grinned even wider as she shook her head.

“If we keep giving you free pastries like this we’re gonna start losing some serious money,” she joked. 

He gave an exaggerated gasp, “All from just sparing a few pastries on a helpless stray like me? Oh, I couldn’t bear it if your parents couldn’t sell any more pastries all because I ate them all. Maybe I should leave…” He halfheartedly took a few steps toward the window, only to turn back around to look at her with giant kitten eyes and bat his eyelashes, “But, well, you wouldn’t be cruel enough to turn me away, would you?”

He would make a terrible actor. Marinette groaned, “Oh mon dieu, that was terrible! Who taught you to be this dramatic?” She heaved a sigh as though he were making her make a very difficult decision, playing along with his act, “Alright, fine. I guess it wouldn’t completely destroy the family business to spare you a few pastries.”

Chat Noir grinned, plopping down on her chaise as though he owned the place. “Wonderful! I knew you’d come around.”

She couldn’t help but let out a laugh at his antics. Maybe his interruption wasn’t so bad. After all, she needed a distraction from her worries, and this seemed to be the best one: a dramatic close friend who didn’t know about her troubles at all.

----

Chat Noir was glad he’d gone to Marinette’s place. After running around aimlessly for a while, he’d still felt restless, and he figured seeing his girlfriend would probably help. Of course, right now he was just a friend to her, but any time he got to spend with her, in either form, was always nice. Instead of being stuck in his empty, cold room, he was with her, laughing, playing video games, and eating pastries. 

After she beat him yet again in Ultimate Mecha Strike III, he figured it might be time to do something else. He stretched, putting his controller down and getting up. Marinette watched him walk over to her work station, a messy, creative part of her room that she felt was a “controlled chaos.” He never understood how she could work with so many sketches, sticky notes, and supplies everywhere. 

“So,” he started, gesturing at the partially started project on her desk, “what are you working on this time?” She seemed to be busier than usual lately, always working on something. A lot of the time he would find out weeks later that the project she was working on had been for him. Well, Adrien him, not Chat Noir. 

“Oh, you know, just another project,” she shrugged. Oh? That was new. Usually she’d start explaining her thought process behind it, launching into an impassioned speech that was always so cute to watch. He loved hearing her talk about her projects. 

“Just another project?” he repeated slowly, narrowing his eyes.

“Yep.” Her smile was too wide and she wasn’t meeting his eyes; she was hiding something. He was curious and unsure if he should pry, but well, he was a cat. 

“Who’s it for?” When he stepped closer to her, she backed away in her chair. 

“Hm? Oh, uh,” Marinette glanced around the room, “it’s for…” 

Oh, he thought with a grin, I see. “Me?” 

“No! Not at all! It’s, um,” Marinette sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Damn it, Chat Noir, it was supposed to be a surprise.”

“So, it is for me.” His cheeks were starting to hurt from grinning so wide. Marinette’s gifts were always the best. They were carefully crafted, made with love, and the fact that they came from her just made them that much better. No, he wasn’t biased. And yeah, he’d gotten dozens of presents from her since they’d gotten together, but this one was for Chat Noir. It was special. “What are you making me?”

“I’m not gonna tell you.” Aw, man. He opened his mouth to protest, but she put a hand up to stop him. “You already know I’m making it for you, and that’s enough. Don’t you know what they say about curiosity and cats? Just wait until Christmas.”

“But that’s so far away,” he whined. Honestly, he was just happy he was getting a gift. He couldn’t care less when he’d get it. Sure, Chat Noir and Marinette were friends, but he never expected her to make him a gift just because of that. It was nice to know that she’d thought of him. 

“It’s in three weeks, Chat.”

“Exactly.”

“Do you want it to be a New Year’s gift instead?” she warned. He stayed quiet. “That’s what I thought.” Marinette clapped her hands together, effectively ending the conversation, “Now, how about another round of Ultimate Mecha Strike III?” She held out his controller to him.

Chat Noir pretended to think about it for a moment, then immediately sat down next to her, snatching his controller from her. “Alright, but this time I’m gonna win.” She laughed as she loaded up the game, and he softened at the sound. 

----

It was Christmas Eve and Marinette, along with Alya and Nino, were planning to surprise Adrien. At the moment, however, Marinette was in her room pacing. She knew Adrien would likely be having a tough time right now and she needed to mentally prepare what she could say and do to comfort him. That wasn’t easy when she knew part of the reason why he was struggling was her fault. There were so many moments when he’d say he wished he could’ve been more like his father — meaning more courageous or heroic — and she’d have to hide a grimace with a forced solemn frown as she tried to rub his back in a comforting manner. This hangout would likely have another few of those moments where the guilt would threaten to eat her from the inside out.

She needed air. There wasn’t enough air in her room. Outside should be better, maybe. 

Marinette inhaled a lung full of fresh, crisp air from her balcony as soon as she was up there. Her warm sweater and multiple layers kept her mostly shielded from the cold, so she was able to take in the beauty of the fresh snowfall around her. It was almost enough to quiet her brain. Almost. If she just focused on the cold nipping at her nose instead of the flurry of emotions and thoughts in her mind, then maybe she would be able to gather herself enough to go back inside and meet Alya and Nino downstairs. They were probably nearly there.

As she practiced taking slow, deep breaths, something caught her attention from the corner of her eye. It broke her focus as she struggled to figure out what it was across the dimly lit rooftops of Paris. Was it a threat? An akuma? The new butterfly miraculous holder hadn’t attacked in some time. What if–

The figure grew closer. “Chat Noir,” Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. Of course, it was just him. What was he doing out here? Shouldn’t he have been spending time with friends or family? “Hey, Chat!” she called, waving her arms around to get his attention. From a distance, he paused, his ears twitching in her direction. He turned around and grinned when he saw her.

“Marinette,” he said when he landed on her balcony. He took her hand and kissed the back of it, “It’s nice to see you.” Did his eyes look puffier than usual? Was his nose red from the cold, or from something else? Before she could ask, he continued, “So, about that gift you were making me…”

“Chat Noir, it’s not Christmas yet.” The gift was ready; she could give it to him if she wanted to, but she preferred teasing him first. He was always so dramatic about things, and it was fun to watch.

His lip jutted out in an exaggerated pout, “Isn’t it close enough? Why should I wait another day when I’m already here?” She shrugged noncommittally, just to see what else he’d do to try and convince her. Chat fell to his knees, taking both of her hands and turning on his “kitten eyes.” “Please, Marinette, take pity on my poor soul. I’ve been waiting for weeks! Do you know how hard that is on a cat?”

Marinette couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter. Chat Noir watched her with a frown that seemed to say, Am I a joke to you? The answer was yes, definitely. “Alright, alright,” she said when she could catch her breath, “I’ll give you your present.”

He jumped up from where he'd been kneeling and clapped his hands together once, triumphantly, “I knew you’d come around, eventually.” He said it as though he’d been trying to convince her for hours instead of just a few seconds, but maybe it was hours in cat years. 

Once they were inside her room, Marinette found her little pile of prepared gifts and looked for his. She smiled as she grabbed a box she’d wrapped in festive paw print paper. To her surprise, Chat Noir gingerly took it from her hands and started carefully unwrapping it from the areas she’d taped it. Maybe it was because of the claws, but she’d thought he would’ve torn apart the wrapping paper instead. 

After setting aside the wrapping paper, he slowly took the lid of the box and gasped. He delicately held the fingerless black mittens Marinette had made him. “They’re beautiful…” Chat Noir murmured, admiring his gift. Turning them over, his eyes lit up with delight at the sight of the green toe beans embroidered into the palms. He gently set them aside and gave Marinette a tight hug. “Thank you so much.”

Marinette smiled as she hugged him back, relieved that he liked her gift. Even though her friends reassured her that her work was great, she was always nervous that it wouldn’t suit their tastes. When they pulled away, her smile faded, alarmed at the sight of his damp cheeks. “Oh my gosh, what’s wrong?” 

He shook his head with a smile, shaky hands hurriedly wiping away his tears. “Oh, it’s nothing,” he reassured hoarsely, sniffling. Her heart broke a little at the sight. “It’s just… I’ve kind of had a rough few months lately.” That was especially surprising. Chat Noir had always seemed so happy and upbeat that Marinette wouldn’t have ever thought that he’d been having a hard time. Who would’ve thought that both of the blond boys in her life were struggling at the same time?

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” she said softly, rubbing his back in an effort to comfort him. “Do you want to talk about it?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized that it was sort of a dumb question. They both knew that he couldn’t say much without compromising his identity. Whatever it was, it must’ve been a lot for him to tear up at her small gift. “Ah, sorry, nevermind.”

“It’s alright, I mean, it’s the thought that counts,” he shrugged. “Anyway, who are these other gifts for?” He gestured at the small pile of gifts near her work desk. 

“Oh, you know Alya and Nino?” He gave a small nod. “Well, we were gonna go surprise my boyfriend, Adrien, and I made gifts for them. He’s been having a difficult time since…” She trailed off, unable to say the words, the guilt creeping up again. She cleared her throat, attempting to clear her mind, “Well, I’m sure you’ve heard about it, and we wanted to spend some time with him to cheer him up. Or at least just to be there for him.” 

As if on cue, her phone started ringing, Alya’s profile picture lighting up the screen. “I’m guessing that’s them, then?” Chat Noir asked, pointing at her phone. Marinette nodded. “Ok, I’ll get going then. Thanks again for the gift, Marinette.” After grabbing his gift, he gave her a two fingered salute and a grin, then left.

----

Once Adrien was home and de-transformed, he quickly hid his fingerless mittens in a desk drawer. He’d rushed home in order to get there before Marinette, Alya, and Nino, and now his heart was racing. He needed to calm down before—

A knock came from his door. “One second!” he called. After taking a few deep breaths to even out his heart rate, he opened the door.

“Merry Christmas!” His friends, all bundled up for the cold, smiled at him and held up presents. 

He gasped, feigning surprise. “Oh, wow, guys! I didn’t know you were coming.” Well, not until just a few minutes ago when Marinette unknowingly told him. Adrien stepped out of the way to let them in his room. 

“Well, we figured it would be a tough time for you, tougher than the last Christmas was, so we wanted to be here,” Nino explained before hugging him. Alya and Marinette joined the hug, surrounding Adrien with his friends’ warmth. He felt like he was gonna cry again. His friends were all so wonderful and—

“Wait,” Adrien blurted, “I have presents for you, too.” They pulled away, allowing him to scramble up the stairs to the cabinets where he’d hid their presents. They’d been coming over a lot recently, which he loved, but since he’d had their presents ready for the past month, he had to hide them. 

When he came back down, they’d removed a few of their layers and placed their presents together in a neat pile in front of his couch where they were sitting. “I wanted to thank you all for everything, so I hope a little present can do that,” he explained, passing out the gifts to them. 

He sat down next to Marinette, who gave him a tender kiss on the cheek. “You really didn’t have to do that, Adrien,” she told him, “You’ve already thanked us plenty.” The others murmured in agreement.

“We’re your friends and we’ll be here for you no matter what,” Alya added. Marinette squeezed his hand reassuringly. “That said, let’s open up these presents!” 

Daisy was going to the Maluku Islands for a year. He understood the opportunity she had in front of her, however, he couldn't help but feel like she made the decision entirely on her own. They were engaged, didn't that mean something? He knew how much she looked up to Dr. Brennan, and he knew how important her career was to her, but did it have to mean everything to her? It stung when she told him that, and when she said he wasn't "Mr. Adventure." What did that even mean?

So, when Hodgins told him about the challenge his father-in-law gave him, Sweets knew he had to help him. He needed to prove to Daisy, and maybe to himself, that he was "Mr. Adventure." Maybe if he could prove that then--

Their arrival at the supposed location of Angela's dad's car broke him out of his thoughts. It was a shady place, that much he was certain of. Hidden in the shadows, him and Hodgins stared at the lot on the other side of the fence, a bunch of bikes parked in front of some bar or something. "Are you sure this is the address?" Sweets asked. It seemed pretty obvious from all the bikes, but he was hoping he was wrong.

"Yes, absolutely sure," Hodgins replied.

Damn. "This is pretty extreme, man."

"Of course... because I've got a father-in-law that plays poker with bikers."

Well, he could do this. He was "Mr. Adventure." He could do anything. Sweets spotted a car hidden in a garage. "Now, is that his--" Before he could finish his question, security lights flashed, probably activated when Sweets' finger touched the fence, and loud dogs started running up at them. Startled, him and Hodgins ran away. Maybe he could be "Mr. Adventure" on a different day.

----

It seemed like Dr. Brennan and Booth were going to be gone as well. Dr. Brennan was asked to head the project in the Maluku Islands, and Booth was asked to help train soldiers in Afghanistan. Though Booth had acted like he wasn't going to go at first, Sweets knew he'd give in. He knew the sort of man he was and how patriotic he felt. Why was everyone suddenly leaving him all at once? His fiancee, his friends... and before that his parents. Sweets frowned. No, this wasn't like that, they'd only be gone for a year. But... a year was a long time, wasn't it? A lot could change in one year.

He sighed, looking up at the wall in front of him. Him and Hodgins were back at the biker lot. Whatever he was feeling, he didn't have time to think about it at the moment.

The two of them scaled up the wall. Once up there, Hodgins spoke up. "If Angela was going to the Maluku Islands, I'd go."

Sweets was a bit surprised at this, he hadn't thought Hodgins would want to talk about it. "Even if it meant you becoming a pearl diver?"

"Hey, even if it meant my having to listen to Daisy," he joked. Sweets frowned, he loved listening to Daisy.

"So, what? I should just go? I should just give up my career and my life and my friends and my practice, and go to Indonesia?" All for one year? What would happen when they came back? Would he be able to pick up where he left off again? Would he be able to find another job he liked? Surely, the FBI would replace him with someone else.

Hodgins shrugged, "Hey, I'm about to risk dismemberment just to impress my scary father-in-law."

Sweets decided to move on and focus on the task at hand. "How are you going to get past the dogs?"

"I don't know."

"How are you going to start the car?"

"I don't know."

"How are you going to evade the angry bikers?"

"Oh, I haven't got a clue."

Great. Ok. Well, this would certainly be an adventure. Isn't that what Daisy wanted? An adventurous man? "Okay, good plan. What do I do?"

"Survive and tell the story of my love."

With that, Hodgins fell down to ground on the other side of the wall, groaning. This, of course, alerted the dogs and the security lights turned on. They ran at Hodgins, pulling off one of his boots. Sweets watched, unsure of what to do. He needed to help Hodgins, but he did not want to mess with those angry, barking, aggressive dogs. Instead, he started meowing, hoping it would distract them. Somehow, it worked, and Hodgins was able to ran away to the garage.

Not long after, as the angry bikers came out, Hodgins and his father-in-law sped out of the lot in his car. Sweets, left behind, fell back down the wall in an effort to hide from the bikers. As far as they were aware, Hodgins and his father-in-law were the only ones involved in all of this.

His heart thundering in his ears as he lay there, Sweets sighed. If anything was proven that night, Daisy was right. He was not "Mr. Adventure." All he did was climb a wall and meow. How pathetic, right? What would he even do at the Maluku Islands? He couldn't go with her. And he couldn't force her to stay with him, either. It was, like she said, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She'd have so much fun there, digging up bones and working with her mentor. Sweets knew he had to let her go. It would hurt, being apart from her for so long, but he didn't want to hold her back.

----

Despite knowing better, Sweets had somehow held on to the hope that the success of the case would make Dr. Brennan and Booth reconsider leaving. Maybe he hadn't wanted to face the fact that so many people were leaving all at once. To add to it, Hodgins told him that him and Angela were going to Paris for a year. It seemed like only him and Cam would left from the team. It sucked, but maybe it would be good for him to just focus on himself and his career for a while.

He was at the airport, sending off Daisy and Dr. Brennan with the others. He hugged Daisy, who looked up at him and asked, "Lancelot, do you hate me?"

Hate her? Sweets could never do that. "No, Daisy," he assured her, "no." He gave her one last kiss, his heart squeezing as he let her go. He was going to miss her so much.

"Do you think you'll wait for me? That would be really romantic."

He shook his head sadly, "I don't think so. I don't think you should wait for me, either." He wanted her to experience the Maluku Islands to the fullest. Daisy was such an amazing woman, he'd hate it if he held her back in any way. In the end, him and Daisy were sort of doing the same thing, choosing their jobs and themselves.

Adrien sighed, staring up at the ceiling. He was back in his room, the destruction of his house having been restored by the miraculous ladybug cure, or so he assumed. He couldn’t have really known exactly what happened, though Ladybug had assured him that his father had been a hero. He’d never thought his father was capable of giving up his life for the sake of Paris, but there was a lot he hadn’t known about the man.

Now, laying on his bed with only the soft light of a bedside lamp illuminating the room, his curtains drawn, he felt guilt eating at him from inside his chest. His miraculous burned on his finger, a reminder of what he’d given up. Of what had somehow led to his father helping Ladybug and dying in the process. The guilt was suffocating, building more and more until he felt like all that was left of him was guilt.

Chat Noir should’ve been there. He shouldn’t have let fear consume him. The visions of a ruined Paris shouldn’t have stopped him from doing his job. He was supposed to be a hero, stopping civilians from getting hurt. Instead, his incompetence allowed his father to die. It shouldn’t have been that way. It shouldn’t have been his father, just like it never should’ve been his mother. It should’ve been—

A knock on his bedroom door snapped him out of his thoughts. “Adrien?” Nathalie called from the other side of the door, “Can I come in?”

Slowly, he sat up, wiping the tears that had started to form in the corners of his eyes. He cleared his throat, “Yeah.”

“Hey,” Nathalie said softly, closing the door behind her, “how are you feeling?” She stood in front of him, a bit stiff and clearly unsure of how to go about this.

Adrien scooted over to give her some space to sit beside him if she wanted. “I’m fine,” he lied. The words tasted bitter on his tongue.

Nathalie hesitantly sat in the space he’d given her, clearly not convinced. “Are you sure? You can talk about it with me if you’d like.” Her hand hovered over his shoulder for a moment, only to drop back into her lap.

How could he even begin? Of course, it made sense for him to be upset. His father just died, leaving him as an orphan. But how could he explain the guilt he felt? How could he explain that his akumatized father had unknowingly left him with a nightmare that rendered him unable to do his job, later causing his death? It was almost impossible to explain without giving away his identity. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t possibly tell her that—

“I’m Chat Noir,” Adrien blurted, his heart thundering in his ears. Why’d he say that? He couldn’t even look at her; he couldn’t bear to see her reaction.

“What?” Nathalie asked weakly.

He took a deep breath, staring at his blankets. “I’m…Chat Noir,” he repeated, a little bit more slowly. He was shaking. He really shouldn’t have said that. It was too late to take it back now.

Tears sprung to his eyes as a heavy silence settled between the two of them. Nathalie wasn’t saying anything. Why wasn’t she saying anything? Did she blame him, too? Did she hate him now? For not doing his job? For not being there when Ladybug— when his father needed him? 

“Oh,” she breathed, pulling him into a hug, “oh, Adrien, I’m so sorry.” All it took was that simple gesture, the simple act of affection, and he broke, clutching sides of Nathalie’s blazer like a lifeline as he sobbed. 

————

Nathalie was in shock as she held a sobbing Adrien in her arms. This boy, who she considered a son, had been the very boy she’d fought for almost a year with Gabriel. She’d beaten him up — she’d hurt him — all while believing Adrien was safe somewhere. How had she never realized? Was she just as neglectful as his garbage excuse of a father? No, no, she couldn’t have been. Right?

“I-it’s all my fault,” Adrien hiccuped, her heart breaking at the broken words, “if-if I’d been there then—“

“No,” Nathalie said, vehemently shaking her head, “none of it is your fault, Adrien.”

The only person at fault was Gabriel. Nathalie felt anger bubbling inside her chest. That stupid, idiotic man who’d been driven mad by the miraculous. He left Adrien all alone, determined to be reunited with Emelie no matter what. In the time that Gabriel was blinded by his goals and his grief, Adrien grieved alone and moved on. In the time Gabriel left his poor son without a family, Adrien was in danger fighting something that only existed because of his own father. And now Adrien felt guilty? No, she couldn’t let him believe that he was ever at fault.

“But if I’d been there—“ he protested.

“Adrien,” Nathalie tried to keep the rage she felt for Gabriel at bay, making an effort to keep her voice gentle. “Your father is the only one at fault here. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with something so dangerous if he wasn’t prepared to be hurt,” she told him, careful of her wording. 

She couldn’t tell him the entire truth right now, not when he was already in so much pain. Someday, she would tell him everything. But the timing wasn’t right, at least not at the moment. How could she tell him how it all started when he was already blaming himself? 

Of course, none of it was his fault. Emelie and Gabriel knew there were risks to using a broken miraculous, they just hadn’t known the extent of it. Gabriel, however, had taken it too far when he’d tried to get his wife back. As much as Nathalie had missed Emelie, she knew Emelie would’ve never forgiven Gabriel for his actions. Seeing how his actions left Adrien only made Nathalie more sure of this fact.

“I just feel like if I’d been there, he’d still be alive,” Adrien mumbled, sniffling. He looked up at her, his eyes watery and red-rimmed. “I don’t want to be alone,” his voice was paper thin as a new wave of tears hit him. 

Nathalie felt her own eyes sting, but she continued to keep the tears at bay. “Adrien, look at me,” she told him gently. As always, he did as told. “You are not alone, and I won’t ever let you be alone.” Slowly, she took his shaking hands in hers, making sure to hold eye contact and let the words sink in. “You have me, you have your aunt Amelie, you have your cousin Felix, and you have all of your friends. I won’t ever take those people away from you, I promise.” 

Nathalie wouldn’t be like Gabriel and she would never be complicit in the ways Gabriel had treated this boy ever again. She’d make sure he wasn’t neglected or isolated or hidden away. She’d witnessed the effects of Gabriel’s terrible parenting and let them slide for too long. Adrien shouldn’t have gone through any of it, and she shouldn’t have just watched. She wanted to make a change, to help heal this broken child. 

Slowly, Adrien’s tears dried out and his sniffling died down, save for the occasional sniffle. He let go of Nathalie’s blazer, wringing his hands together instead. After a few beats of silence, she said, “I’ll let you have some rest, alright?” 

Adrien nodded as Nathalie got up to leave. As she opened his bedroom door, he called after her, “Nathalie?” She turned to look at him, “Thank you.” 

She smiled, “You’re welcome, and let me know if you ever need me.” As she closed the door behind her, Nathalie knew she needed to come up with a plan to help Adrien feel better. The only question was, how?

————

Marinette wanted to scream. Not for a good reason either. No, she wanted to scream because she felt like she was going to go insane as she paced back and forth in her room.

Gabriel Agreste was Hawk Moth/Shadow Moth/Monarch/whatever just as she’d once suspected way back in what felt like a whole lifetime ago. But no one knew. Except for her and Felix and possibly Kagami and probably whoever Mayura was. And she couldn’t tell anyone because his dying wish was that no one knew what a villain he was, especially Adrien. But she still knew. And it wasn’t even guaranteed that the people who knew still knew because she didn’t really know how the wish worked. Was it just that he ascended into some afterlife with Emelie or was it also that no one would know that he was the villain all along?

She’d complied because, well, it’s not like he could be put into prison or anything. There was no way for him to be held accountable because he was dead. The only person who would really be harmed by everyone knowing would be Adrien and Marinette never wanted to hurt Adrien. If everyone knew that Gabriel was the very person who’d terrorized Paris then the hate would be piled onto Adrien even though he didn’t do anything wrong. It wouldn’t be fair to him to have everyone hate him while he was grieving because he just became an orphan and if they found out he was a sentimons- sentibeing then—

Marinette’s phone rang, effectively stopping her downward spiral. She walked over to her desk and picked up the phone, surprised that Nathalie was calling her. “Hello?”

“Hello, Marinette,” Nathalie greeted on the other end of the phone. “I know you’re probably confused about this call, but Adrien wasn’t feeling well and I wanted to help him feel a little bit better. I figured you would be the person to call for help.” Maybe not the bestperson to call for help since the only reason his father was gone now was because he’d made the wish and the reason for that was she’d let her guard down and— “Hello? Are you there?”

Marinette let out a nervous laugh, forcing a smile even though Nathalie couldn’t see her. “Yeah, sorry about that, my, um, my service is bad. But I’d be happy to help, of course. I’ll call some of our friends and see what we can do.”

“Great. Thank you, Marinette.”

“No problem!” She lied. Nathalie promptly ended the call, leaving Marinette alone with her thoughts again.

Obviously, Marinette wanted to help Adrien feel better. She loved him very much and if she can take his mind off the fact that he’s an orphan for a couple hours and lift his mood, she’d gladly do so. But how was she supposed to face him knowing everything she knew? How was she supposed to face him knowing that his father wasn’t a hero and that he died because she’d lost? 

Marinette glanced over at the two silver rings she’d be given, glistening on her desk from the light that came through her window. She groaned, running a hand down her face. And how was she supposed to tell him that he was a sentim- a sentibeing? There was no way to do that without making everything worse. There was also no way to do that without him knowing that his mom must’ve had the peacock miraculous at a certain point. Which would easily lead to him questioning why his father never told him about that. Which would easily lead to him realizing that whoever Mayura was must’ve been someone his family knew. Which would easily lead to him wondering if his father knew Mayura. Which would easily lead to—

“Marinette!” Tikki was waving her arms in front of Marinette’s face. “Are you ok?”

Marinette waved away her thoughts. “Sorry, Tikki, I was just—“ She shook her head, “I’ll be ok.”

Focus, she had to focus. Nathalie asked her to help make Adrien feel better and she was going to help make Adrien feel better. She just had to figure out how. 

Marinette picked up her phone, dialing a number. “Hi, Nino!”

“Hey, dude,” Nino greeted from the other end of the phone. 

“I need your help…”

————

Adrien woke up from his restless nap when he heard a knock on the door. He rubbed at his eyes as he sat up in bed. “Come in,” he called, voice a bit raspy. His eyes brightened, his mood just a little bit lighter, when he saw Marinette hesitantly walk into the room with Nino and Alya following suit. He scrambled out of bed, running his hands through his hair in an effort to tidy it.

“He—“ Adrien could barely get out a sentence before Nino tackled him into a hug. He couldn’t help but crack a little smile at his friend’s enthusiasm.

“Hey, man, how are you feeling?” Nino asked. “Wait. That was kind of a stupid question.”

“No, no, it’s ok. I’m actually feeling a little bit better now that you guys are here.” It was true. Seeing his friends helped him even just a little bit.

“Awww,” Alya and Marinette said in unison.

It was then that Adrien noticed the bag in Marinette’s hands. “What’s that?”

She smiled, “Well, I thought you’d need a little something sweet to help you feel a little better, so I brought your favorite pastries and some extra for us to share.”

Adrien’s heart warmed at Marinette’s thoughtfulness. He really did have the best girlfriend in the world. “That’s really sweet of you, Marinette,” he murmured, hugging her.

“So, is everyone getting a hug except for me, or..?” Alya asked, causing them all to laugh as Alya and Nino joined the hug for one big group hug.

After separating, the four of them sat at Adrien’s couch, ready to enjoy the pastries Marinette brought. Just as Marinette reached into the bag of pastries, she paused, sniffing the air. “Do you guys smell that?”

Adrien sniffed the air. “Yeah…it smells like something’s burning.” Burning?

Alarmed, the four of them got up and rushed downstairs, following Adrien into the kitchen. There, they found Nathalie looking distraught as she coughed and waved at the smoke in the air, burnt pancakes on the stove which she’d just turned off. She turned to face them, a frown on her face.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I was trying to make some pancakes but…” She trailed off as she gestured toward the burnt heap. Adrien grimaced at the sight. “I wanted to follow a recipe that would actually be good, unlike the ones Gabriel made,” she continued, nodding toward Marinette who knew just how bad his father’s pancakes were.

The only reason Adrien ate them was because he didn’t want to upset him. He was making an effort and he wanted to show gratitude. It wouldn’t have been right to say how he really felt about them. (Why didn’t it feel right?)

“I guess I’m just as bad at making pancakes as he is,” Nathalie concluded, shaking her head.

Adrien felt like there might have been more to that statement than what she’d said, but he wasn’t sure. He felt the urge to comfort her, but how? There was no way he could possibly eat those burnt pancakes and make her believe that he actually liked them. (He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to do that. Why did he ever feel the urge to eat the pancakes his father made him even if he hated them?)

“We can make a new batch,” Marinette offered with a smile. “I know how to make some and they’ll definitely be better than Mr. Agreste’s pancakes.” She glanced at Adrien, “Um, no offense.”

“Yeah,” Alya added, “it’ll be fun to make some pancakes together.”

“And we can save the pastries for later,” Nino supplied. They’d left the pastries in Adrien’s room and he’d almost forgotten about them.

They all looked at Adrien, waiting for his response. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the idea. His past experience with pancakes wasn’t great. But maybe it would be different this time. Maybe making the pancakes with his friends and Nathalie would be fun. Maybe they’d actually taste good. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make some pancakes together.

(Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make new, better memories. Was it even right to say that? To use the word “better”? He should feel bad for that. He shouldn’t think of his father in a bad light. His father was a hero. A hero.)

“Adrien?” Marinette asked gently, suddenly appearing at his side. “What do you think?”

What did he think? Adrien made himself give a small smile, hoping it was believable enough, deciding he’d leave the thinking for later. “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

“Awesome!” Nino exclaimed, clapping him on the shoulder. “I haven’t had pancakes in a while.”

So, the five of them got to work, looking for and gathering the ingredients Marinette needed and measuring the amounts necessary for each. Before long, they’d had flour all over their clothes, and the wonderful smell of fresh — not burnt — pancakes was in the air and laughter surrounded them. With so much going on around him, and so much joy in the air, Adrien almost, almost, forgot why they’d come over.

In the midst of all the chaos, Marinette pulled Adrien aside, her brows furrowed. “Hey,” she murmured, “I saw you pull your model smile earlier.” He opened his mouth to protest but a pointed look made him stop. “You know you didn’t have to make pancakes if you didn’t want to, right?”

Adrien sighed, “I know that, it’s just…” Just what?

“Just..?”

“I didn’t want to disappoint everyone. You all looked so excited to make pancakes.”

“Adrien…”

He looked down from her disappointed look, unable to look her in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“What? Why are you sorry?” Marinette gently took his face in her hands, guiding him to look at her. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do something if you don’t want to. Your father made you do too many things you didn’t like, and I don’t want to keep doing that to you.”

He shook his head, “I wasn’t just doing it because you guys wanted to. I think that maybe… Maybe making pancakes with you will be more fun than eating the pancakes my father made.” Why did he feel so guilty for thinking that? Why was he so conflicted?

“Is this what you want?”

When was the last time he’d heard that question? His father seemed to never ask him such a thing. It was never Adrien’s decision.

“Yes, it is.”

“Ok. If you change your mind, just let me know.”

He leaned down to kiss her forehead, “Thank you, Marinette.”

“Anytime,” she smiled warmly.

“The pancakes are ready!” Alya called from the kitchen.

Soon, they sat down with stacks of pancakes on their plates and toppings laid out in front of them. Adrien opted for some chocolate syrup and whipped cream on top of his pancakes. He’d never tried them like that before, but Nino assured him that it was a good combination.