#nipan

Someone, who was known to be a villain, a threat to Utopia. Someone, who lit up buildings for fun, created havoc and chaos wherever he went and didn’t even fear murdering another spirit. Someone by the name Jeong Yunho.

“Sunshine? What are you doing here?” The concerned voice of San forcefully pulled you out of your thoughts, making you jump in surprise.

You mustered a smile and turned around to face your boyfriend. You hoped the strain of smiling wasn’t as visible as it felt. “Sorry, you surprised me.” You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his torso, hiding your face from his view. “I’m just worried”, you mumbled, a sigh escaping your lips once San hugged you back and rubbed over your upper arm.

San hummed softly, holding you a little tighter than before. “It must be horrifying being in the same building with such scum.” - You flinched at his choice of words. - “I’m sorry you have to endure this.” San kissed the top of your head and gently guided you away from the portal, oblivious to your inner turmoil.

You shook your head, trying to return to your cheerful self so San wouldn’t become suspicious. “Whatever it takes”, you smiled, masking your pain, “to have a better Utopia.”

San hugged you tightly, cooing even as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. “You really are my sunshine, always so positive and able to endure just anything.” He didn’t notice your distant gaze as your memories resurfaced.

“I am quite bored with you now”, the man drawled, pressing the taser against your shoulder dozens of times. “When will your hero boyfriend show up and save you, huh?”

You couldn’t answer that question, silently thinking the same. You couldn’t even say how long you’ve been chained in the hideout of this man. It only took one torture session for you to lose any kind of orientation. 

A groan escaped your lips from just another electric shock. It still hurt but after a while you became faintly numb to the sensations. Your fingertips tingled whenever you moved them a little, which only happened when you tried pulling on your chains. The metal had become warm by now, the sharp edges cutting into your wrists.

You blinked rapidly, tears clouding your vision. If you hadn’t walked home on your own, you wouldn’t be in this position. Actually, if San hadn’t stood you up on your date due to his hero duties, you wouldn’t have walked home alone that night.

“Stop crying”, the man hissed and kicked you in the stomach. “It feels just as bad for me too! I planned all of this and for what? For having a crybaby to my feet. This is not what I wanted!”

You hadn’t realised you were crying loudly, too delirious from all the pain. Another wave of pain shot through your body after you inhaled shakily. You stayed on the ground, the cold wetness feeling almost comforting now.

A deafening explosion behind you, threw the man away from you. He got up again after shaking his head, his gaze roaming the area behind you until they focused on something.

You couldn’t even muster the strength to turn your head, eyes closing every now and then. The edges of your vision filled with black spots while the pain slowly faded away.

The man screamed at something or maybe even someone before something similar to a lightning shot through his thighs, bringing him to his knees.

Your head rolled to one side when someone lifted you up into their arms, holding you close to their body. The warmth emitting from them felt almost uncomfortable compared to the cold you had grown accustomed to.

“Sunshine?”

You shook your head rapidly before you finally found San’s bemused face. You looked at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to repeat whatever he had said.

“Don’t worry so much”, he whispered and kissed your forehead. “Everything’s going to be alright. I’ll have to go though. The council ordered a meeting so we can decide on his future.” San rubbed over your upper arms, looking apologetic.

You smiled wryly and nodded, receiving another kiss from San before he rushed out of the room. He left you standing there, left you fighting your inner demons. 

It wasn’t a real fight though. You noticed that as your feet led you back to the portal. This time you didn’t hesitate walking through, finding yourself in a dungeon-like area.

You wrapped your arms around your torso and walked along the iron bars up until the last cell. You stopped in front of it and turned to look at the figure huddled in the corner furthest away from the bars.

For a while your heartbeat seemed to be the loudest source of noise within these walls. The wet floors and the cold creeping along your clothes reminded you of back then, twisting your stomach in nausea. You inhaled deeply as you tried to suppress the upcoming panic attack.

The figure moved slightly, pale face turning towards you and dark eyes boring through your soul. A faint smirk appeared on his lips. “What pleasure do I owe you for this visit, darling?”

You stared at Yunho, contemplating what you should and wanted to say. You bit on your lower lip, knowing you shouldn’t even be here nor be talking to him.

“What’s on your mind, darling?” Yunho asked and stood up, slowly coming towards the bars with his eyes never leaving your face.

“Nothing”, you lied, despite wanting to say ‘everything’.

“Nothing, huh?” Yunho smirked and shook his head. “I can see on your face it’s not nothing, darling.”

You sighed and dropped your arms while you leaned against the bars, resting your head against the cool metal. “Why.”

Yunho patiently waited for you to continue, his smirk now a soft smile. He didn’t rush you nor did he brush everything off after you told him it was nothing.

“Why did you-?” You closed your eyes as more memories flashed through your mind.

“Stay with me, darling”, a deep voice called out to you, all while running somewhere with you in their arms. 

You opened your eyes, having trouble keeping them open and focusing on the person carrying you. “Mhm.” 

“That’s it, darling. You’re safe now. Nobody can hurt you now! I even made sure that bastard is burning in his own hideout for hurting you.”

Mustering all your strength you turned your head and looked over their shoulder, seeing bright flames licking into the deep blue sky. They danced over the building and the first spirits gathered around it. “Thanks”, you murmured and leaned your head against their shoulder, too tired to comprehend the meaning behind all this.

You looked back up to Yunho, seeing him standing in the middle of his cell with his arms crossed in front of his chest. The chains on his wrist pooled around his feet. You still had trouble seeing him clearly with the dimly lit cell.

A gasp escaped your lips when Yunho beckoned one of the glowing orbs to float closer with a simple movement of his finger. “You’re not supposed to have your powers in here.”

Yunho shrugged with his shoulders, the smirk back on his lips. “I don’t need powers to control a little light.” He chuckled softly upon seeing your pout. “You’re too adorable, darling.”

“Don’t”, you stopped him, holding one hand up and shaking your head to regain your focus. “You’re ignoring my question.”

“You never asked a proper question”, Yunho teased you as he walked closer to the bars, dropping his hands as the chains pulled at his wrist. They pulled them further back with every step he took until he nearly hung on the chains, unable to take even one more step. 

There were still several feet between Yunho and the bars and it didn’t even cross your mind to move away. Instead you crossed your arms in front of your chest, slightly turning away from him with a frown adorning your face. “You know what I wanted to ask you.” You glanced at him out of the corner of your eyes, seeing him nod with a smirk on his lips.

“Sadly,” his tone was mockingly, “I’m only able to guess and I wouldn’t want to make assumptions. So, you gotta have to ask me properly, darling.” 

Your mouth dropped open in shock and you stared at Yunho in utter bewilderment. “Really?” Though you didn’t intend doing it, your tone came close to whining as you stretched the last syllable.

Before Yunho could tease you some more though, you stopped him again. “No, don’t! Don’t say a thing, please.” Your heart pounded against your ribcage. You gnawed at your lower lip, slowly raising your gaze and looking at Yunho from under your eyelashes. “Why did you save me?”

Yunho’s face brightened up and he stepped back again, wandering around the small space as he tapped his chin in thought. Just before you snapped from being impatient, Yunho spoke up again: “How about this, darling? I’ll tell you when you tell me why you’re here.” He stopped and turned around to look at you, dark eyes boring into yours again.

Cold sweat ran down your back as you stared back at him, unable to tear your eyes away. Why were you here? 

“It’s not just because you want an answer before anything happens to me.”

Your eyes widened ever so slightly, hearing Yunho’s statement. He wasn’t teasing or mocking you now. You could see the curiosity - and hope - in his eyes. By now your hearing became fuzzy from the rushing of your blood that blocked any outside noises. Your hands got sweaty while your heart went wild inside your chest. 

Part of you knew exactly why you came to see him. You yearned for his attention, yearned for his soft and loving touch - his unconditional love. But your conscience couldn’t allow that. You couldn’t admit that an actual villain had gained access to your heart. Not when you’re supposed to be on the good side.

“Darling.” 

You melted a little, hearing his soft voice barely above a whisper. 

As if Yunho sensed your turmoil, he walked back to the bars. His face twisted in pain when he tried pulling against his chains. He wanted to touch you, smooth the frown on your face with his thumb. Instead he had to settle on words. “I saved you because I love you.”

“How?” Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to fall at any given moment. “You don’t even know me.” Your heart cried in pain, bled even, from uttering these words.

“The first time I saw you”, Yunho spoke softly, pulling against his chains and ignoring how they cut into his wrists now, “I immediately knew. We have a lot more in common than you think, darling. There is only one difference between us. You’re the one in a cage.”

You chuckled mirthlessly and wiped over your cheeks. “Says the one trapped in prison”, you mumbled with a scoff, despite silently agreeing with him. 

You were caged in, were being pushed down and formed to fit into a role that wasn’t you. And you were sick of it. Sick of trying to be perfect only to feel worthless whenever you made the tiniest mistake. 

“I just need one word from you, darling. One word and we’re out of here. One word and I’ll set you free.” Yunho nearly dislocated his shoulders as he leaned as far forward as possible, looking at you with desperate eyes. He silently pleaded with you, silently asked you what you wanted.

“Sunshine! What are you-? Get away from the cell!”

You jumped in surprise and spun around, facing a mortified hero frozen at the end of the hallway. San wasn’t frozen for long though, his face twisting in anger and concern while he crossed the path with large booming steps.

For a split second you wanted to cower and hide, fearing he would hurt you for being here. Still a part of you tried reasoning with your fear, telling it San would never even think about hurting you. Though with the fear carved so deeply into your soul, you only clutched the metal bars and pressed yourself against them, hoping to somehow vanish into thin air.

“Y/N, darling, please.” Yunho begged with you, making your head snap towards him. You looked like a deer caught in the lights of a floating orb.

San nearly stumbled over his own feet when he heard Yunho. He hid the moment of faltering though, channelling his hatred even more instead. “I told you to step away!” 

Once he reached you, he grabbed your upper arm and forcefully pulled you away from the bars. His fingers painfully dug into your muscles and a small whimper escaped your lips as you caved into the motion.

“You’re hurting them!” Yunho growled, the chains rattling angrily behind him.

You wanted to turn your head and look at Yunho, now that your back was turned towards him, but San forced you to face him instead. 

“Why are you here?”

“I”, you whimpered again, San’s grip making your knees tremble, “I needed answers.”

“Answers for what?” San nearly shook your body when you didn’t reply immediately, growing more and more irritated. “Sunshine, answers for what?”

“Why he saved me and you didn’t!” You cried out, loud sobs ripping through your throat. You clutched your hands in front of your chest, needing to ground yourself again.

“Save you?” San shook his head, blinking rapidly. That was the first time he heard of that.

“Did you even know?” Yunho asked, his chains rattling again, followed by a churning sound. “Did you know someone kidnapped your ‘Sunshine’ and tortured them for three days?”

You looked up at San’s face, seeing the glimmer of surprise in his eyes, before he scoffed and turned his attention back to you. “That guy - no, scum - killed dozens of people. There is no way he would save you. Especially not when you’re my Sunshine.”

San observed you, concern written all over his face now. He saw the light dying in your eyes, expression falling and even though you didn’t move, it felt as if you became distant. The warmth and cosiness he usually felt, slipping through his fingers and vanishing into thin air. “Sunshine?”

You raised your hand and placed it on his wrist, palm growing hotter until San yelped in pain and let go of your arm. 

“What the-? What was that for?” San rubbed his wrist with a frown, seeing his skin turning red where you had touched him. “Why did you use your powers against me, Sunshine?”

“You didn’t know”, you stated, voice void of any emotion. You stepped back until you felt the metal bars behind. “You should leave now, San.”

“Leave? What are you talking about?” San followed you, hands already reaching for you again. “Let us go together, Sunshine.”

Before San could touch you though, a loud crashing sound made him stop in his movements. His eyes raised from your face, seeing Yunho now towering behind you, bloody hands wrapped around the metal bars and chains dangling from his cut wrists.

“Y/N!” San called out, trying to pull you away from the bars and away from Yunho but you dodged him. He halted in confusion. “What are you doing? You need to get away from here! I need to protect you!”

“Protect me?” You laughed dryly. “Like you protected me when I got tased over and over again? Like you protected me when I got kicked in the stomach, in the back or in the head? Like you protected me when I got my arms cut open until the skin barely clung to my muscles?” You pushed the fabric of your gown up your arms, revealing the scar littered skin - something San hadn’t noticed either. “I’m sick of you protecting me”, you whispered and pulled the fabric back down, brushing over it in a comforting manner. “You haven’t even noticed, but this Utopia is far from perfect and half of the fault for that lies with the council you worship so much.”

“No, no, no”, San rapidly shook his head, desperation apparent in his voice, “he got into your thoughts! Please, Sunshine, this isn’t you!”

The right corner of your lips raised and you tilted your head to the left. “Sunshine”, you purred, languidly walking around San, amused, his eyes followed you like a small puppy followed its owner, “ever thought about the double edged sword hidden behind that name?”

“What are you talking about? I called you that because you were cheerful, bright and full of warmth!”

“And yet you perfectly showed the other side as well. The side where sunshine blinds you.” You stopped in front of San, looking up into his face as you smiled softly. Still, the pain was visible in your eyes. You raised your hands and cupped his face, stroking your thumbs over his cheeks. “You closed your eyes to so many things, just because the council told you to. They made you blind metaphorically.” You sighed, hesitating momentarily.

“You’re wrong about this”, San whispered, placing his hands on yours, “please, Sunshine.”

A single tear ran down your cheek when your eyes met with San’s, mouthing an apology before you moved your thumbs to his eyes. “I’ll be the one to blind you literally. Whatever it takes for a better Utopia.” 

San screamed in pain from the heat emitting from your thumbs. He desperately clawed at your hands and broke down to the ground when you finally let go. 

A sob escaped your lips and you pressed your hand over your mouth. You turned away, unable to watch San cowering on the ground and writhing in pain. 

Yunho, who had silently watched, broke through the bars and engulfed you in a tight hug, rubbing over your back comfortingly. 

“Sunshine? What happened?” San shakily pushed himself up, after hearing the metal bars snap. He waved his hands in front of him, trying to find you. “Are you okay? Sunshine?”

You hid away in Yunho’s chest, feeling the pain ripping you to shreds. You grabbed his shirt, grip so tight your knuckles turned white. How could he ask for your well-being right after you hurt him? How were you supposed to bury the last of your feelings for him when he didn’t hate you now?

“Let’s go”, Yunho murmured into your ear, placing a soft kiss on the crown of your head afterwards. When you nodded, he shot a lightning bolt through the wall, breaking a large hole into it. 

You heard an alarm in the distance while Yunho guided you through the hallways away from San and his pleading calls. His voice still rang in your ears when you two left the building. 

Once outside Yunho stopped and turned around, setting fire to it with several lightning bolts crashing through the roof. A satisfied grin spread over his face while he watched the flames grow. His attention switched to your face when you shifted in his hold, seeing the same expression he had seen so many years ago. “Almost like the time I first saw you.”

You looked up at Yunho with a puzzled expression, leaning into his chest as you waited for him to elaborate.

“The first building I blew up”, he chuckled, grinning at the memory, “you stood in front of it, looking at it in awe and fascination. No sign of horror or fear like everyone else. That’s when I knew I would love you until my dying breath, darling.”

“But I’m broken.”

“We all are”, Yunho whispered, leaning down and kissing your forehead.

“You would still love me?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, almost drowned out by the roaring of the burning building.

Yunho gently turned you in his hold, raising your head by holding a finger underneath your chin. “I DO love you”, he stated firmly, making sure you kept eye contact with him, “and I would watch all of Utopia go up in flames when it means you might love me back one day, darling.”

A hint of a smile ghosted over your lips as you remembered his gentleness when he nursed you back to health, remembered how he did everything to make it as comfortable for you as possible, remembered how Yunho stayed with you during nights of nightmares, sitting on the cold floor and holding your hand while you tossed and turned in bed. You knew you already loved him back - your heart did, long before your mind and you only needed to accept that fact now. “I do love you back”, you said, sealing the promise with a kiss.

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