#ninetoo

“Why are you doing this?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“Doing what?”

  His voice was muffled by the fact he was lying on the ground, on his stomach. He was shirtless and only a soft yoga mattress was keeping him from the cold parquet floor of their bedroom. Rose’s hands, covered with that body oil he loved so much on her, were massaging his back to take away the knots and soreness.

  “Training so hard with your coach.”

“Oh, that.”

“Yes, that. You’re pushing your body really hard, honey.”

  What could he say in this situation? It wasn’t the first time he was coming home totally sore, his muscles refusing to even move. He was taking a warm shower before Rose came back home from work but she had noticed more than once that he was doing more and more sports.

  “Doctor?”

  Her hands stopped massaging his back but he could still feel her skin against his. She pressed on a painful spot and he let out a groan of pain. She was doing it on purpose.

  “Don’t do that.”

“Answer me then” she retorted, pressing another painful spot.

“Rose,” he growled in pain.

  The reason why he was training so hard was quite embarrassing in his opinion. That was why he was keeping it secret. When he was a traveller, he was always running and jumping to save his life. When he had arrived in this universe, he was nothing anymore. He wasn’t the Doctor, the last of the Time Lords, anymore. He was a hybrid, half Time Lord, half human. More human than Time Lord since he was having all the disadvantages of humanity like ageing, putting on weight, getting sick, not healing and that pathetic single heart. Growing old had been hard on him. He wasn’t as conceited as the pretty boy that was currently the Doctor but his first grey hair had been a shock to him. Rose had had to convince him that it suited him well and that he didn’t need to dye his hair.

However, all those dinners at the Tyler’s mansion and Jackie’s tea parties along with the boredom of this new life had him putting on weight. Too much weight. Without the Time Lords’ great ability of regulating every function of the body, everything had gotten out of control really quickly. That was why he had found this personal trainer who was pushing him beyond his limits with different exercises. His body had lost the unnecessary weight and won muscles that Rose loved drawing with her fingers after they had sex. The latter brought his attention back to her by pressing another painful point and winning another groan.

  “Will you stop that?”

“Will you answer?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I wanna know why my husband is coming back home all broken.”

“Ouch!”

“I guess that’s embarrassing. What if I press here?”

  She pressed a point right under his collarbone and all his body tensed in pain. He tried to destabilise her but she was straddling him so well that he didn’t even move. Both her hands were on his shoulders now and her lips were on his ear, her hair tickling his back.

  “You’re killing me.”

“I’m getting what I want.”

  She stroked his side until she reached the elastic band of his sweatpants. She slipped her hand under and stopped there. She felt him tense more. If he was resistant to the pain, he couldn’t resist her and her wandering hands. She often had to use this method to get what she wanted from him. This was just another of these moments. He was gonna give up on his stubbornness really quickly.

  “You know, I’ve spoken with Alex.”

“You did?”

“Yes, but he refused to go against his policy of not sharing personal information about his clients.”

“Which is good.”

“His Instagram feed is quite interesting though, pinkie.”

“He said he wouldn’t post them!” huffed the part Time Lord.

“If I believe the comments,” she added, her hand slipping deeper in his pants, “my husband is a purveyor of dreams.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“I totally approve.” She pressed a kiss between his shoulders and smiled at the shiver that ran all down his back. “But I wonder if this is not about those love handles I’ve gently mocked you about a couple months ago. You were so offended.”

“Of course I was! Your mom’s trying to make me fat and you’re making fun of it. That’s embarrassing! I’ve gone grey first and now I’m going squidgy about the middle because I eat too much and don’t run enough.”

  This talk had pissed him off. She thanked him for his honesty and got up so he could do the same. She looked at him in all his glory, sweatpants falling low on his hips, the bulge inside them, and his bare chest. No more love handles or little belly anymore. Just her perfect husband. She put her hands on his hips and kissed his belly. The, she looked up at his face where confusion, love and embarrassment were mixed. She cupped his cheeks.

  “You don’t have to be perfect for me to love you, Doctor. You don’t have to look like those playboys in the magazines. I love you for who you are and not for how you look. I love what’s inside, not the outside.”

“That’s the ears. I’m sure that’s the ears.”

“I love all of you. Even the ears.”

  She smiled at him and he gave her that daft grin she loved so much on his face. To prove him that it wasn’t just words thrown in the air, she tiptoed and dropped a kiss on his lips. He was all hers and (Oh Lord!) he loved this woman to Gallifrey and back.

Chronicles of a better man © | 2016 - 2018 | Tous droits réservés.

×××

In the next shot:

The Doctor was running faster than he had ever run. Usually, people were looking at him as if he was crazy for running so fast when there was no reason to. But not today. Today, they were running too. They still could have thought that he was crazy, that he shouldn’t go this way, but he wouldn’t care and wouldn’t even stop running that way even if they tried to stop him. Once again. The human world had done crazy once again, and they were all running away from that craziness, from the yells, the shootings, the slaughter while the Doctor was running straight into it. Everyone was bumping into everyone. People were falling and were getting trampled before they could get up and run again. Run away from the madness that world seemed to have sunk into.

×××

She had never been so terrified in her entire life, she thought to herself as explosions happened all around her. She could see the flames devouring the console room and it broke her heart to see and hear the ship in such a pain. She could feel the warmth of the flames, the pain of being destroyed piece by piece and the imminent death prowling around like a predator. Being in danger was something that always happened with the Doctor. That was something you had to accept when you were jumping in an adventure with him. But this particular danger? It felt really different. Different in a very bad way. Even her, the simple woman from Chiswick, who was worth nothing, could feel it. This whole situation sucked and they weren’t gonna get out of it as easily as they did usually. This adventure was gonna end in a nice way. It had all started with this stupid huge insect in her back rewriting her whole story in order to make the Doctor disappear, and there had been that Bad Wolf girl – who happened to be his Rose – jumping through dimensions and telling her that the universes were at risk. A great threat was upon them all and all the children of Time – the Doctor’s former companions – had gathered to help the Doctor save the day. Except their efforts had been vain, and they were now in a life-threatening situation they couldn’t find a way out. At least, they were all together, somehow, and she was alone in the dying machine. The fate had trapped her in for a reason and the Doctor would have to watch his precious box disappear… Wait, he wouldn’t let his so precious ship die in the hands of the enemies if he had a choice. This was the only thing he had left from home. Donna was on her hands and knees. The smoke filling the endless room was suffocating her and making her cough and gasp for air that wasn’t that burning thick one. There were those heartbeats again. She had heard them all day and the Doctor had given little attention to this detail. He was too focused on the urgency of the situation they were facing. Right now, Donna was certain that these heartbeats were connected to their current ordeal. She turned her head to the jar the Doctor had been keeping there for a little while now. As if it wasn’t any weird at all to keep a hand in a jar! An irresistible and unexplainable need of touching it came to her and she reached out. That was when the strangest of things happened: regeneration energy swept up her hand and engulfed her. She panted and shook and the jar smashed. Donna sat up, stunned, and observed the hand that was now laying on the grating floor. It was glowing with that golden light particular to Time Lords regenerating. Horror filled her when she saw the fingers twitching, but it was nothing compared to what came next: the energy reached out until the shape of a man appeared. And in just a couple of minutes, it was done. The man sat up, the energy disappeared and Donna was left with her astonishment as the TARDIS shook and cried her pain in the middle of her slow destruction. The man was tall with short cropped dark hair, big ears, weird nose and the bluest eyes she had ever seen in her whole life. She was gonna ask the question, but deep down she already knew the answer. The Doctor. Still stunned, she watched him as he jumped on his bare feet and started pushing buttons on the console. Her eyes fell upon his bare arse and her brain suddenly registered the information that he was completely naked. Blushing and awfully embarrassed, she looked away from him and forced herself up. He was too focused on his mission of saving the TARDIS to even show her any attention. She observed him from the other side of the console that was conveniently hiding his masculinity. His forehead was creased with serious and concern but the familiar sound of the TARDIS dematerialising brought a grin to his face that made it all disappear and he ran out of the room only to come back fully dress with black pants, a black jumper and an old battered leather jacket. All of this strangely suited him well and made him handsome. Completely oblivious of her, he was now checking the walls of the TARDIS which, she noticed it now, was back to her old self, like nothing had happened to her in the last couple of minutes. He was stroking the wall, as if looking for a breach or something, but the affective smile on his face was showing an emotion Donna hadn’t expected from him. He was happy to see his ship back in one piece. Considering the situation, it could have been moving and all but Donna was done being ignored and she had to bring his attention back to her. He better give her a good explanation for all this shit! “All repaired, dearie! Shh! No one knows we’re here. Gotta keep silent. Silent running, like on submarines when you can’t even drop a spanner. Don’t drop a spanner! I’ve liked this body, what d’you think?” “You. Are. Bonkers.” The blue-eyed Doctor span around to face her. He had totally forgotten about her presence here and her exclamation was right on time to remind him that he wasn’t alone on board. He had to face a red-haired fury before doing anything like saving the day and his other self’s ass. “Why? What’s wrong with me?” “Is that what Time Lords do? Lop a bit off, grow another one? You’re like worms!” “No, no, no, no, no, I’m unique. Never been another like me. ‘Cause all that regeneration energy went into the hand. Look at my hand! I love that hand, though it’s not quite mine! But then, you touched it, WHAM!” Donna jumped and yelled. There was something strange and frightening to see that man who had come from nowhere speaking like a nutter, speaking like this other Doctor but also like her. Plus, he seemed to think that she was the one with a problem when he clearly was that problem. He placed a hand over her mouth and she resisted the temptation to bite it. “Shh! Instantaneous biological metacrisis. I grew…” He made a face at the realisation of this truth. It was taking him aback. “I grew out of you! Still, could be worse.” “Oi! Watch it, Spaceman!” “Oi! Watch it, Earthgirl!” Donna’s mouth opened in surprise so did he. He definitely sounded like her – plus the Northern accent – and it wasn’t to please him according to the face he was currently making. “Oh… I sound like you. I sound all… All sort of… Rough.” “Oi!” replied Donna, offended. “Oi!” he repeated. “Oi!” “Spanners, shh! I must’ve picked up a bit of your voice, that’s all. Regeneration stuff, it’s a lottery. Is it? Did I? No! Oh, you are kidding me, no way. One heart. I’ve got one heart! This body has got only one heart!” He placed his hands over his chest and felt all around it, looking for the second heart that must be beating somewhere inside there. One heart, it was pitiful. He couldn’t work with one heart. Donna placed her hand over the new Doctor’s chest. He indeed had only one heart. “What? Like you’re human?” “Oh, that’s disgusting!” “Oi!” “Oi!” “Stop it!” “No, wait; I’m… part Time Lord, part human.” They both were gob-smacked by the revelation. Nothing of this sort had ever existed in the universe. He was indeed a very unique specimen. Better keep secret about that. Lots of people would want to know how he was working. On Gallifrey, they would totally reject him. You couldn’t anything else but a 100% Time Lord. “Well, isn’t that wizard?” he asked sarcastically. “I kept hearing that noise, that heartbeat…” “Oh, that was me. My single heart. ‘Cause I’m a complicated event in time and space, must have rippled back. Converging on you.” Thee Doctor walked back to the console, started fiddling again. After all, they had a solution to find to get everyone out of troubles instead of standing there and discussing how unique he was. “But why me?” “’Cause you’re special.” “Oh, I keep telling you, I’m not!” “No, but you are.” He glanced at her and he suddenly understood. “Oh. You really don’t believe that, do you? I can see, Donna… what you’re thinking. All that attitude. All that lip. ‘Cause all this time…you think you’re not worth it.” “Stop it!” “Shouting at the world ‘cause no one’s listening. Well… why should they?” “Doctor. Stop it. “But look at what you did!” he exclaimed proudly before taking a moment to think. “No, it’s more than that, it’s like… we were always heading for this. You came to the TARDIS, and you found me again. Your grandad. Your car! Donna, your car, you-you parked your car right where the TARDIS was gonna land, that’s not coincidence at all! We’ve been blind. Something’s been drawing us together for such a long time.” “But you’re talking like… destiny. There’s no such thing, is there?” “It’s still not finished. It’s like… the pattern’s not complete, the strands are still drawing together. But heading for what?” The TARDIS shook violently. The Doctor and Donna looked at the monitors to have an idea of what was happening. The Doctor’s eyes grew big when he understood what he was seeing. “It’s the planets. The twenty-seven planets!” White energy surrounded the planets. “Single-string Z-Neutrinos compressed into… No way!” “What was it? Doctor? What did it do?” She had never seen the Doctor so speechless and the look of horror on his face was enough to tell her how terrible was what had just happened. He ran under the console and came back with a couple of stuff. He put together a device under Donna’s surprised eyes. “So what is this thing?” “It’s our only hope, a Z-Neutrino biological inversion catalyser.” “Yeah. Earth girl, remember?” “Davros said he built those Daleks out of himself. His genetic code runs through the entire race. If I can use this to lock the Crucible’s transmission onto Davros himself…” “It destroys the Daleks?” “Biggest backfire in history!” He finished the device. “Ready! Maximum power!” The Doctor kicked a lever with his foot – much to the TARDIS displeasure – and the machine rocked. It didn’t please her to be going into the lion’s dent but to save all her friends, they didn’t have a choice. She landed and the Doctor ran to the door. He sprinted toward Davros, ignoring everyone’s comments on his sudden appearance. Unfortunately, he got zapped by Davros and fell to the ground, stunned. A holding cell appeared around him while Donna ran out of the TARDIS and picked up the weapon. “Doctor! I’ve got it. But I don’t know what to do!” Before she could do anything, she was zapped too. The shock sent her flying toward a control panel. She heavily hit the floor. She would be full of bruises after such a fall. This Davros guy was gonna have his ass kicked. “Donna!” yelled the Time Lord. “Donna! Are you all right, Donna?” “Destroy the weapon,” ordered Davros, and a death ray hit the device. “I was wrong about your warriors, Doctor. They are pathetic.” If Davros was keeping his mind on the present situation, Rose and the Time Lord were quite shocked to see another Doctor. The original Doctor knew that it wasn’t a future incarnation who came to help. It wasn’t a past one either. But why this face? “How come there’s two of you?” “Human biological metacrisis. Never mind that, now we’ve got no way of stopping the Reality Bomb!” “Detonation in 20 rels… 19…” started counting the Supreme Dalek. “Stand witness, Time Lord!” began Davros, activating a holographic screen that showed the planets glowing with energy. “Stand witness, humans! Your strategies have failed. Your weapons are useless. And, oh. The end of the universe has come.” “Nine… eight… seven… six… five…” Donna emerged from behind the control panel with a surprised expression on her face as everyone looked at the screen in despair. There was something wrong with her. Not wrong. New. Something new. For the first time in her life, she felt exceptional, special. And all those thoughts running through her head… “Four… three… two… one…” The countdown stopped and the holographic screen disappeared. An alarm resounded as Daleks, humans and Doctors all looked around in confusion. Donna was standing behind the control panel with a confidence she never had before. “Oh… closing all Z-Neutrino relay loops using an internalised synchronous back-feed reversal loop?” She flicked a switch. “That button there!” “System in shutdown!” “Detonation negative.” “Explain! Explain! Explain!” “Donna,” the Doctor was bemused, “you can’t even change a plug!” “D’you wanna bet, Time Boy?” she answered, grinning. “You’ll suffer for this!” Davros lifted his hand to zap her again but Donna was quicker than him. She flicked another switch and the electricity turned back to him. He let out a cry of pain but Donna didn’t give him attention. She was focused on her mission and the information running through her head made her feel euphoric. The Doctor had never seen her that way before and he was afraid of what it could meant. “Oh, bio-electric dampening field with a retrogressive arc inversion?” “Exterminate her!” “Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!” The human hostages all around them were terrified and had no clue of what was happening but Donna wasn’t giving a damn fuck about it. She worked a bit on the control panel and looked at the Daleks with a cheeky smile. “Weapons non-functional.” “What? Macrotransmission of a K-filter wavelength blocking Dalek weaponry in a self-replicating blindfold matrix?” “How d’you work that out?” the Doctor let out, stunned. “You…” “Time Lord!” barked the not so new Doctor. “Part Time Lord!” “Part human!” added Donna, delighted to know something the Doctor didn’t. “Oh, yes! That was a two-way biological metacrisis. Half Doctor, half Donna!” “The DoctorDonna!” realised the Doctor. “Just like the Ood said, remember? They saw it coming! The DoctorDonna!” “Holding cells desactivated,” said Donna, pushing some controls. “And seal the Vault. Well, don’t stand there, you brooding skinny boys! Get to work!” The Doctors looked at each other. For once, they were the ones confused and their companion was the clever one. But they didn’t have time to talk about that. They had to run away from here and quick! They rushed to the control panel. “Stop them!” screamed Davros, furious. “Get them away from the controls!” But no one was gonna let them in control anymore. The Daleks were losing again. Donna flicked another switch and turned a dial. ‘And spin!’ she exulted as the Daleks span around helpless. They were asking for help but there was nothing that could be done. Donna repeated the process on the opposite direction. “What did you do?” asked the blue-eyed Doctor. “Trip-stitch circuit-breaker in the psycho-kinetic threshold manipulator!” “But that’s fantastic!” “Why did we never think of that?” “Because you two, you were just Time Lords, you dumbos! Lacking that little bit of human, that gut instinct that comes hand in hand with Planet Earth. I can think of ideas you two wouldn’t dream of in a million years! Ah, the universe has been waiting for me! Now… let’s send that trip-stitch all over the ship! Did I ever tell you?” She held her hands up and wiggled her fingers. “Best temp in Chiswick, 100 words per minute!” “Ha!” As Donna worked – it seemed more like fun than actual work for her – with the controls, the Daleks around the Supreme Dalek started spinning uncontrollably too. “System malfunction!” “Motor casing interference!” “What is happening? Explain!” “Come on then, boys!” Donna called them, while Jack ran into the TARDIS. “We’ve got twenty-seven planets to send home! Activate Magnetron!” “Stop this at once!” Davros advanced menacingly but Jack appeared with his gun and Rose’s. He threw the latter to his good old friend Mickey. “You will desist!” yelled Davros, before Mickey stopped him by pointing the massive gun at him. “Just stay where you are, mister.” “Out of the way!” Jack kicked a Dalek away. It glided down the corridor, spinning helplessly. Sarah Jane and Rose pushed away another Dalek. The adrenalin of the situation and the fact that they were all together in this was making them quite happy. Martha joined the dance and pushed away a spinning robot. “Good to see you again!” “Oh, you too!” “Ready?” asked Donna to the Doctors. “And reverse!” One by one, the planets disappeared from the Medusa Cascade and returned to their original location in the universe. The stars were coming back. The mission was almost over and the end of it might not please them all. “Off you go, Clom.” “Back home, Adipose 3!” “Shallacatop, Pyrovillia and the Lost Moon of Poosh, sorted! Ha!” “Ha!” “We need more power!” “Is anyone gonna tell us what’s going on?” tried Rose, completely bemused. “He,” began Donna, gesturing to the original Doctor, “poured all his energy into his spare hand, I touched the hand, he,” she pointed to the new Doctor, “grew out of that but that fed back into me. But, it just stayed dormant in my hand till the synapses got that little extra spark, kicking them into life. Thank you, Davros! Part human… part Time Lord. And I got the best bit of the Doctor. I got his mind!” “So there’s three of you?” asked Sarah Jane. “Three Doctors?” “I can’t tell you what I’m thinking right now,” chuckled the flirting Jack. “You’re so unique the timelines were converging on you. Human being with a Time Lord brain.” “But you promised me, Dalek Caan!” Davros had turned to face the giggling mess he was speaking to. “Why did you not foresee this?” “Oh, I think he did. Something’s been manipulating the timelines for ages. Getting Donna Noble to the right place at the right time.” “This would always have happened. I only helped Doctor.” “You betrayed the Daleks!” “I saw the Daleks. What we have done, throughout time and space, I saw the truth of us, Creator, and I decreed ‘No more’!” “I will descent to the Vault.” So far the Supreme Dalek had been following the events from the bridge via an intercom. He suddenly materialised in the Vault. Jack cocked his gun. “Heads up!” “Davros! You have betrayed us!” “It was Dalek Caan.” “The Vault will be purged! You will all be exterminated!” shouted the Supreme Dalek, firing at the control panel. “Like I was saying. Feel this!” This time, Jack used his huge gun against the Supreme Dalek and blasted it out easily. The Doctor examined the control panel. “Oh, we’ve lost the Magnetron! And there’s only one planet left – guess which one? But we can use the TARDIS…” The Doctor dashed inside his loyal blue box while the new Doctor flicked switches on the remains of the control panel. “Holding Earth stability! Maintaining atmospheric shell.” “The prophecy must complete.” “Don't listen to him!” “I have seen the end of everything Dalek, and you must make it happen, Doctor!” “He’s right. ‘Cause with or without a Reality Bomb, this Dalek Empire’s big enough to slaughter the cosmos… They’ve got to be stopped!” “Just - just wait for the Doctor!” begged Donna. “I am the Doctor!” he retorted playing with the controls. “Maximising Dalekanium power feeds! Blasting them back!” One by one, Daleks started exploding, the power of it shaking the whole Crucible, including the TARDIS. The Doctor ran out to see what was happening and could only give a horrified look to the scene. What he was seeing there, he had already seen it before, and it reminded him too much of this filthy war still haunting him. All the Daleks were exploding and the sounds of explosion along with the smell of fire and smoke and burning aliens was making him nauseous. “What have you done?” “Fulfilling the prophecy.” “D’you know what you’ve done?” furiously screamed the Doctor. “Now get in the TARDIS! Everyone! All of you, inside! Run! In! In! In! In!” “Sarah Jane! Rose! Jackie! Jack! Mickey!” Terrible explosions shook the Vault. There were fire and destruction everywhere. It was the Time War all over again. The Doctor was standing outside the TARDIS door. He held his hand out towards Davros. “Davros! Come with me! I promise I can save you.” “Never forget, Doctor. You did this! I name you, forever... you are the Destroyer of the Worlds!” “One will still die.” The Doctor got inside the TARDIS and ran to the console, which was surrounded by all his friends. He pulled a lever and the TARDIS shook violently as they took off. The Crucible exploded. They were escaping and the Doctor even had a solution to take the Earth back to its spot. He worked with Torchwood and walked around the console, giving instructions to everyone. “Now then, you lot... Sarah Jane, hold that down. Mickey, you hold that. ‘Cause, you know why this TARDIS is always rattling about the place? Rose, that, there. It’s designed to have six pilots. And I had to do it single handed. Martha, keep that level. But not anymore! Jack, there you go, steady that. Now we can fly this thing... No, Jackie, no, no, not you, don’t touch anything, just... stand back.” He gently pushed Jackie away, then returned to the others. “Like it’s meant to be flown! We’ve got the Torchwood Rift looped around the TARDIS by Mr Smith, and we’re gonna fly Planet Earth back home!” He took his own place. “Right then! Off we go !” He pulled a lever and the TARDIS started to move, pulling the Earth along. The flight was unusually calm, as the Doctor and friends worked as a perfect team. Donna and the new Doctor were walking around, helping when necessary, having encouraging words, smiling. The Earth arrived back to its proper position. Everyone laughed, cheered, clapped, hugged each other. Donna pushed aside Sarah Jane from Jack to throw herself in his arms. However, there was a time for everything and soon came the time for goodbyes. The Doctor brought his companions back where they belonged one by one. His hearts were hurting in his chest as he had to let them go once again. He knew how this was gonna end and he hated it. For once, just for once, he wished that saying goodbye wasn’t so hard. He wished he could have a happy ending. But the TARDIS materialised on that beach. Bad Wolf Bay. Jackie, Rose and the new Doctor emerged. Donna and the Doctor followed as they walked ahead. “Ah, fat lot of good this is! Back of beyond. Bloody Norway! I'm gonna have to phone your father, he’s on the nursery run.” She turned to the old new Doctor. “I was pregnant, do you remember? Had a baby boy!” “Ah, fantastic! What did you call him? “Doctor.” “You’re bloody kidding me.” “No, you plum! He’s called Tony.” “Hold on, this is... the parallel universe, right?” asked Rose, confused. “You’re back home.” “And the walls of the world are closing again, now that the Reality Bomb never happened. It’s dimensional retroclosure. See, I really get that stuff now.” “No, but... I spent all that time trying to find you. I’m not going back now!” “But you’ve got to. ‘Cause we saved the universe, but at a cost.” He turned to the new Doctor. “And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He’s too dangerous to be left on his own.” “Your vanity made me!” barked the blue-eyed Doctor. “Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge. Remind you of someone?” he asked Rose, who didn’t answer. “That’s me, when we first met. Even the look is the same. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him.” “But he’s not you.” “He needs you. That's very me.” “But it’s better than that, though. Don’t you see what he’s trying to give you?” To the human Doctor. “Tell her, go on.” “I look like him, I think like him, same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I’ve only got one heart.” “Which means?” “I’m part human. Specifically, the aging part. I’ll grow old and never regenerate. I’ve only got one life... Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you. If you want.” “You’ll grow - grow old... at the same time as me?” “Together.” Confused, Rose touched him to feel his single heart. The feeling of wool under her hand brought many memories back to her mind. Memories of the first time he took her hand and all those times he had held her against him to comfort her, or just for the hell of it. This was her Doctor, the first one she had met. He had come back for her and she only wanted the other one. The Doctor and Donna watched them with a small smile, until a grinding sound came from the TARDIS. “We’ve got to go, this reality is sealing itself off... for ever.” He and Donna headed back to the TARDIS, but Rose ran after him. She couldn’t let him go, not after all she’s done to go back to him. It wasn’t right. They could just travel together. The three Doctors and the Wolf in the TARDIS. They could do that. They had to do that. “But... it’s still not right... ‘cause the Doctor is... still you.” “And I’m him!” “All right.” She needed something to hold on, to convince herself of this truth. “Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it.” “I said, ‘Rose Tyler’.” “Yeah, and how was that sentence gonna end?” “Does it need saying?” Rose was disappointed that he wasn’t daring saying it once again and she hated him for that. She hated him for abandoning her and for not even having the courage of telling her how he felt. Maybe his human self would be less stupid. She remembered him for not doing domestics, for being the Northern tough guy, who wasn’t showing his feelings. She wasn’t setting her hopes high on him. “And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?” The Northern Doctor leant to her and whispered the words she was dying to hear into her ear: ‘I love you’. Rose looked at him, then pulled him closer and kissed him. The Doctor observed them sadly for a moment, then he turned around and got inside the TARDIS, followed by Donna. Rose pulled away from the new Doctor, ignoring the feeling of rejection coming from him – she was choosing him, she was always choosing him – as she heard the door closing. She ran towards the TARDIS but now all she could do was watch it dematerialising, her heart shattering into million pieces. The human Doctor was sensitive to the pain of the woman he loved and he pushed aside the fact that his single heart was torn away from his chest for her. He walked to her slowly and took her hand. They looked at each other but the feeling was different. They were different. He wasn’t him and she would never accept it, he could feel it deep down in his aching heart…

To be continued...

Chronicles of a better man © | 2016 - 2018 | Tous droits réservés.

×××

In the next shot:

The Doctor looked at her, uneasy. He was feeling particularly bad, which had never happened in her presence before. Rose was shaking her head, completely oblivious, trying to remember how they had ended up there, in the TARDIS, together. Last thing she remembered was that strange song and the golden light. She noticed him watching her. He smiled. It was so much easier to pretend that everything was fine even though death was eating him away. It had been impossible for him to let her die because of the Time Vortex right after she saved his life. At that moment, his reason had shut up and he had soaked up the ache that was hurting her, an ache that was soaking up every cell of his Time Lord’s being. It was painful but he didn’t show anything. He was pretty sad to be compelled to leave her so soon but, once again, he wasn’t showing anything. He wanted her to remember him as he had always been: an impulsive man, sarcastic, loving dangerous adventures and the word ‘FANTASTIC!’.

×××

Past

The smell of sea salt was fresh in the air, the sound of waves delicately crashing one after the other could be heard in the distance. Rose couldn’t quite wrap her head around what had happened. He was there. With her. Forever. Only it wasn’t him. Not only did he have one human heart, one life for them to spend together, but he also wore a different face to the man she had expected to find. He was no longer all charm and a mess of brown hair in the brown pinstriped suit that she had come know so well. He wore a battered leather jacket now (again), which she hadn’t seen in what felt like an eternity. Yet the smell she was so fond of still clung to the jacket’s material desperately.

He was back. Short hair and sarcasm, with blue eyes she once believed to softened in a very particular way whenever she was around. And only when she was around.  

Present

Rose placed the Doctor’s gift in a small rectangular box, before wrapping it with all the tender care she could muster. This was his first Christmas her with her. And with them as a couple to boot! Because of this Rose was utterly determined to make this his best Christmas ever. Which was quite the task, considering he had celebrated over 1000 of them across time and space. However Rose had an inkling that this year would blow all of the others out of the water. This year was theirs.

Past

They were nearing the end of the beach, only minutes away from the hotel Pete had phoned and booked them into. Rose hadn't even processed the fact that they had been moving. That’s when she felt it. A strong calloused hand reached for hers, tracing her skin delicately as it begged for permission. Rose opened her hand, letting her fingers intertwine with the Doctor’s. The new new new Doctor’s. Yet also the old one. She shuddered slightly, then felt the Doctor’s eyes boring into her. Seconds later he let go of her hand once more.

Rose placed their room key into the lock.

“Just remember I’m right across the hall if you have any problems, love,” Jackie reminded Rose for the fifth time, with a quick glance at the Doctor as she mentioned the possibility of any ‘problems’ arising.

“Yeah, mum, I know. Thanks.”

Rose quickly unlocked the door and hurried inside, the Doctor followed close behind. He shut the door behind them and then… well, what then?

Rose stood awkwardly by the bed before she turned to face him.

“So,” she huffed out anxiously, a nervous smile playing at the corner of her lips.

“Rose.”

Rose had to suppress a shiver. She had almost forgotten how much she used to love hearing her name fall from his lips in that northern accent she had teased him about, oh so many years ago.

“Doctor.”

“How d’you feel about all this, then?”

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

“I have no idea.”

Rose let out a shaky laugh. There were a few moments of silence before the Doctor continued.

“So, that lanky bloke… that’s who I turned into after regenerating the last time, is it?”

“Yeah.”

“Can’t believe I went all pretty boy. That’s your fault, that is!”

“What? How’s it my fault?” Rose shrieked, incredulous, yet her eyes sparkled with pure mirth.

“I’m sure it is. Rose Tyler and trouble go together like Barcelona and dogs with no noses. Bound to be your fault somehow.”

Rose giggled and beamed brightly. Perhaps they would be okay. The Doctor returned her brilliant smile with one of his own. He then, very slowly, almost cautiously, lifted his arms up and opened them for Rose.

“C’mere,” he murmured.

Rose didn't hesitate. She crossed the small space between them and melted into his embrace. She tried to take in every sensation, remember every tiny detail, and begged herself not to wake up. This was far too perfect and she still wasn't entirely convinced this wasn’t just a dream.

“You’re here,” she whispered into his maroon jumper. “My doctor.”

Present

The Doctor let himself into his and Rose’s flat, having just come home from working at Torchwood. Before he even had time to take his shoes off and hang his coat up (human bodies were just a bit naff at regulating their temperature) Rose came bouncing into the hallway like a giddy school girl.

“Doctor, I have a present for ya!” She held out a small, beautifully wrapped, gift.

“Rose Tyler, you’re like an impatient child!” the Doctor scolded, grinning all the while. “Put it under the tree, save it for Christmas morning or it just defeats the point. Honestly, give an ape a day and they want to turn it into a week, or a month! It’s always the same with you lot. You want what you want, when you want it.”

“You done givin’ me my lecture, yeah?” The Doctor simply rolled his eyes and nodded. “Good, ‘cause seriously this can’t wait till Christmas, so just open it now will ya?”

“Alright then, give it ‘ere.”

The Doctor held his hand out, ready to accept his present. Truth be told he didn't really care what day he opened it on, but winding up Rose was one of his greatest pleasures in life.

He ripped at the paper, shredding it to pieces and letting it fall to the floor. He’d pick it up later. He didn't quite understand why humans felt the need to put so much time and effort into wrapping something up all pretty when it will just be destroyed, in a matter of seconds, as soon as it’s given to its recipient. However he had grown accustomed to this odd little tradition, as he had found out on one of Rose’s birthdays that she wasn't fond of just having a bunch of items handed to her without any fancy decorating. Apparently it ‘ruined the surprise’ and made it feel ‘less special’ and ‘more boring’.

The Doctor opened the small box, his gaze immediately flicking back up to meet Rose’s. She held her breath at the vulnerability she was seeing behind his eyes. Then a smile began breaking out over his face. It wasn’t beaming like she had hoped, but she could tell from his eyes that he was overjoyed, yet holding back for some reason.

“Really?” he asked, a little choked, desperation written all over his features.

“Yeah,” Rose whispered back.

And finally the beaming smile was there in full force. This year was most certainly their year.

Past

Empty plates sat on top of a forgotten room service cart. The Doctor lay on the bed in his clothes, hands crossed behind his head. Rose was lounged at the bottom of the bed, vertically, her legs dangled off one end and her head off the other.

“I can’t remember the last time I actually ate a proper meal,” Rose confessed into the contented silence.

“What’ve you been living on then? Don’t tell me you haven’t been taking proper care of yourself, Rose Tyler. I’m already mad at you for jumping across dimensions. Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? But I’ll forget about that for now, since this is meant to be a nice reunion.”

“I ‘ave been takin’ care of myself… I’ve just been doing it in a rush. I’ve been busy. You know, that means lots of ready meals, and caffeine. I’m fine. Promise. And I don't care how mad you are, or how bloody dangerous it was. If I wanna build and use a dimension canon in order to save the multiverse, then I will!”

“Ah, stubborn as ever I see.”

“Yep,” Rose replied subconsciously popping the ‘p’. It caused her stomach to feel a little unsettled, with a pang of guilt.

She quickly shook herself free of those thoughts. This was the other Doctor’s idea. He doesn't want you feelin’ guilty about it, Rose chided herself.

“What’s wrong?” the Doctor asked as he nudged Rose with his left foot.

“Promise me somethin’.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t leave me.”

“Never. You’re stuck with me, Rose Tyler.”

“Forever?”

“Forever and ever… or until you get fed up with me.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Good. Forever then… fantastic!”

Present

The Doctor dropped the box to the floor, his gift falling out of it. Striding towards Rose, he picked her up, swinging her around excitedly.

“Careful!” she shrieked with laughter.

He gently placed her back on the ground, kissing her softly on the forehead.

“Thank you, Rose Tyler! Thank you!” he cried.

The positive pregnancy test he had just unwrapped was left forgotten on the floor as the happy parents-to-be celebrated into the early hours.

Future

"Rose," he said, setting his mug on the floor by his feet and angling himself to face her, elbows coming to rest on his knees as he leaned forward. "Talk to me. What’s on your mind?"

Nothing. Circles over that flat, soft, kissable stomach. Endless circles.

The Doctor pursed his lips, looked at his feet. He was barefoot, dressed in a nondescript grey sweatshirt and matching drawstring trousers. Rose was dressed similarly; her sweats a light cream color. He’d snuck them in from the TARDIS wardrobe room and told Rose they were in the cottage’s closet when, in reality, all he’d found in the cottage's closet were clothes with either Torchwood or Vitex logos. And Rose had deliberately asked for no reminders of anything even remotely related to home and their travels. The Doctor made a mental note to criticize Pete for his work-related vacation clothing at a later date. In the meantime, he was barefoot, Rose was barefoot, the night was moonless, and there was cool country air churning the inky lake.

He shifted his eyes briefly to Rose’s face, then out across the lake and to the winking lights of the town. “Nice here. Calm. Can’t believe we’ve never been out here before. Maybe over Christmas we could—”

"I’m pregnant."

The Doctor froze. Every muscle in his body tensed and a wave of something somewhere between nausea and euphoria washed over him. For a moment it felt like he was floating up to become the moon. Then it felt like he was sinking to the bottom of the lake. And then it felt like nothing and he closed his eyes and put his head in his hands.

"Just four weeks," Rose went on. Her voice sounded hollow. "Not showing yet."

"You’re…" It felt like his throat was closing off. "And today we…"

"Yes," Rose said. "I'm pregnant. With our first child. And today we watched a little boy get slaughtered in the streets of that horrible place just so someone could make a point."

The Doctor dropped his hands and looked at Rose. She was still staring, still drawing circles. "Rose, love, why didn't you tell me? If I'd known, I'd-- I wouldn't've--"

She chuckled humorlessly. "Martha told me not to tell you just yet."

"Martha," he repeated.

"S'only four weeks. You being half Time Lord, she was worried about miscarriage or something happening. And you were already planning another trip in the TAR--" She stopped herself, swallowed thickly. "Martha said you'd ground me if I told you."

The Doctor's eyes stung and he couldn't tell if it was emotion or the bitterness that had suddenly cropped up in the wind.

"Donna agreed."

"Did she," the Doctor muttered dryly.

Silence fell over them. The Doctor knew he should be happy, ecstatic even, but with the memory of that little boy, his innocent body broken and bloodied and hoisted into the air in political protest, fresh in his mind it didn't seem possible to muster any ecstasy over the prospect of another vulnerable, paper-skinned child entering the universe.

It was Rose who broke their pensive moment first. She stood, set her tea on the porch, and padded lightly to where the Doctor sat. Her hands dropped to his and she brought his palms slowly to her stomach. His fingers splayed automatically. "I'm sorry," he breathed.

She nodded, eyes still staring out far, far past the lake, and curled herself into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her in as close to him as he could and tucking her head under his chin. And then she was crying. But it wasn't a good cry or a cry of release. There were no sobs, no hitches in her breath, just silent tears flowing from her staring eyes and making damp spots on the grey fabric of his sweatshirt while he massaged soothing circles into her back and planted wet kisses on the top of her head. It was a cry of mourning, but not one of healing.

And it lasted for what felt like a lifetime. The Doctor half expected a full moon to be in the sky when he looked up again.

"Rose," he said, voice low and thick and hoarse. "I love you and I will love this baby..." He slid his hand up under her sweatshirt and brushed cool fingers over her warm skin. She shivered. "And I will never let anything happen to it."

Rose sighed a shaky sigh. "You need to stop making promises you can't keep."

The Doctor felt the air completely leave his lungs. He slid his hands from her sweatshirt and gripped her shoulders, pushing her slightly away so he could look at her distant, red-rimmed eyes. "What?"

"You promised those people you'd stop their fighting. You promised me we wouldn't leave until everyone was safe. You promised that woman we'd find her son in the crowd and bring him back and then we watched him get ki--"

"Stop."

"You make so many promises, Doctor. Always have."

"Rose, please."

"I'm not blaming you." She looked at him, not past him, directly at him. "It's who you are. The promises." Her hands floated to his cheeks and she pressed a chaste, tear-stained kiss to his lips. "I just don't want you to promise this baby it'll always be okay when you have to know by now that you have no control over that. You didn't as a Time Lord, and you definitely don't as a human."

He swallowed, eyes glistening. Rose gave him another kiss and then looped her arms around his chest and settled her head into the hollow of his shoulder. The Doctor swallowed again. "I made tea."

No response from Rose, just the apprehensive halt of her breath against his neck.

"I made tea," he elaborated. "So I could comfort you." He blindly caressed her face, fingers automatically brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "And here you are. Comforting me."

"Well," she whispered, her breath warm and sweet and familiar and the exact opposite of the country air. "Guess I'm just too good."