#nineteenmonths

I dont know if i could consider this as monthsary when it has been a month since things fcked up, i fcked up, it’s my fault then .. 

it has been a month since i realized you dont love me anymore, 

it has been a month since you made me feel unimportant,

month ago you still care, now you dont

month ago you still love me, now you loved me

i didn’t expect this to happend, but yes once again it was all my fault.

now can i still consider myself as your lover ? can i still consider myself the person that can complete your day? can i still consider myself as your one and only? can you atleast consider of loving me instead ? 

Dear lover, 

i hope you can see this, 

i was wondering how was your life without me ? are you really having fun ? to be honest at first yes i felt like its so unfair i was crying all day and night because on what happend then your just go happily hangout with your friends. But then i realized i was just looking out for my feelings. i didn’t even try to lookout on how you feel towards this relationship. Yes, i got selfish over your life and i’m sorry. i was just so afraid of losing you.

I may be that kind of girl, but beleive me this time.. 

I’m doing my best to be the girl for you, i’m doing my very best to be the one for you. I am doing my very best to change for you, cause i love you. 

it may take a long time to change but bare with me cause i’m doing this for you to accept me. 

all my life i never love someone the way i love you. believe me.

you gave me that second chance and i was so happy to have that second chance, and never on that day i take out the grip of that second chance. i did all my best. all of my best.. and i was just hoping that you’ve seen that ‘ best of change ‘ 

now that i dont know what is our status. yes i’m in calm now. i just want to hear out from you, from your lips answer it in front of me .. 

“ Do you still love me ? “