#nilaufein

Dalamus has a handful of nicknames he has been called over the years.

Obviously, the most frequently used is "Dal". Several people in camp call him Dal. At first, he was frustrated by the assumption of familiarity, but quickly became tired of fighting it. A few camp members, like Gale and Wyll, still say his full name.

His older brother, Nilaufein, occasionally called him "lothinlu'thi", a Drowic word meaning "grub." It is considered a term of endearment and affection towards children--mostly said in private (if at all) in Menzoberranzan.

Karlach initially would occasionally call him "soldier" as she does others, having been part of an army, herself. It is a way she shows camaraderie. Dalamus, however, vehemently disallowed this. He was not a soldier, and would not be compared to the same sort of brute as his brother, Orgoll.

So, she came up with the nickname "Sunshine". Mostly for the irony. He begrudgingly allows this, not wanting to find out what the next name might be if he refused.

Lae'zel sometimes refers to him as "Drow" to his face, or "the drow" when referring to him with others.

Minthara, if recruited, prefers not to refer to him at all. Male. Silversmith. Anything but his name, because that would be acknowledging him a bit too much.

Nedvyllanna's nicknames for him were things like "Xi'hum" (zee-hoom, pet/plaything), "Seriso" (seh-rees-oh, lover), "Ste'kol" (steh-kohl, toy), "Ussta ssinjin" (ooh-stah sin-jihn, my sweet), etc. Any number of other names that, on the Surface, might be perfectly affectionate, but in cultural context of Menzoberranzan, labeled Dalamus as weak and subservient.

As for what Dalamus calls others, he tends to be.. condescending at first. Before learning names, he will substitute their race or class or some other trait for a name, such as "human". He might call someone "kivvil," meaning "surfacer". "Kivvin" is the plural form. "Mage" for Gale. "Old Man" for Belthan. "Vlos'dritalur" (vlose-drit-uh-lure) meaning "blood drinker/vampire" for Astarion. Etc etc.

Soft and affectionate nicknames are rare from him, considering how he grew up. He can very, very rarely be caught referring to Haleth as "lothinlu'thi" (lohth-in-loo-thee) or "grub", an affectionate nickname for children. Also rarely, if one is able to catch him talking to his cat, Alantha, they might catch him calling her "kutt'chud" (koot-chood), meaning "mold spore." This is affectionate, too.

When he realizes he loves Gloria, he still prefers to use her name over most sorts of nicknames. He might think of some affectionate names over time, though.

[ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ?

[ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ?

At the risk of overcomplicating it--both. At the moment he is more likely to flinch from touch than he is to lean into it. Sometimes Dalamus fears it because he craves it. He has distant, blurry memories of the sort of comfort it can bring thanks to his brother, Nilaufein, but real affection in Lolthite-filled Menzoberranzan is exceedingly rare, and risky to show even where it is true.

He is touch starved and does not realize it--does not even know of the concept--because he has convinced himself (or perhaps the teachings of Lolth have told him) that desiring any kind of softness or affection makes him easy to manipulate. Nedvyllanna was quick to notice and exploit this starvation of his, using affection as a reward for when he pleased her, and otherwise withholding it unless she wanted something from him.

Touch allows some amount of control to be given to (or taken by) another. It certainly does not help that his bodily autonomy was forfeit to Nedvyllanna while he acted as Patron and, in short, this was traumatizing even if he believed it to be normal. He does not know he is traumatized; he just knows that when touch and affection were not transactional, they were manipulative, and from Nedvyllanna sometimes accompanied by pain. He is terrified of someone having that power over him again, even though would go back to Nedvyllanna should she want to take him back (she would not).

This fear can sometimes be so great as to cause him to push someone away when they are trying to help him, even if the lack of that help might mean his death. It is the same reason why, after being saved anyway, he may not act grateful (in addition to believing he now owes a great debt).

One can see this struggle with touch in his body language if he does allow contact--his breathing becomes measured, his posture tense and body stiff. If he is willing to trust, however, he will eventually relax.

[ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ?

Oof, how do I pick just one when there are dozens at least? I will give you three.

He will need help from others, and that is okay.

He has inherent worth by virtue of being a person, which does not require productivity, a station, or title to be true.

Nilaufein (along with at least a couple as-of-yet unnamed friends) is responsible for many escaped slaves, from humans and tieflings to kobolds and even some orcs and goblins.

Though he did not have firsthand knowledge of the Bauthwaf--the tunnels which lead out from Menzoberranzan--as a seller of Riding Lizards, Pack Lizards, and their gear to adventurers and even soldiers alike, he worked closely with those who have to travel those tunnels frequently. Not only that, he had friends in a cartography guild whose job it was to have the most accurate lay of the land.

He could not free many at once, or too frequently, or it would have raised alarm. He and his friends were risking punishment of torture and death if found out.

Thankfully, no one ever discovered it. Missing slaves were pretty easily explained away as "they tried to run so I killed them" or "they got killed on our expedition/patrol/etc" or and other such excuses. Sometimes a few slaves were deliberately not freed in order to have living people to bring back, to make the claims of death more realistic, on the promise that those slaves would be the next to escape.

It made him a terrible Lolthite.

What made Nilaufein feel terrible, however, is that not all freed slaves made it to the Surface. Even with a map and a guide, the Underdark is an extremely dangerous place. More than once, he would overhear someone come back from patrol and talk about a corpse they found which Nilaufein knew could only have been one of the people he freed.

Dalamus' favorite flower is a red rose!

That said, he has yet to see a real red rose. The closest thing he has seen is a picture in a book. He thinks the flower is not only beautiful, but also assumes the thorns are poisonous. If one asks, he will say he likes the flower because it reminds him of himself--beautiful but dangerous.

The truth, however, one even he has forgotten after coming up with the above justification, is that he likes roses because they remind him of his brother, Nilaufein.

Nilaufein is the one who would show him art and books about the Surface, to try to get him interested in it. Alas, he had too little time and too few opportunities to peel Dalamus away from the cult think of Lolth before it had its mandibles in him.

Lolth's dogma tells her children to shun the Surface, even things like grass and flowers, things that she says make Surfacers soft and weak, complacent.

But Dalamus cannot deny their beauty. He loves flowers. The vibrancy of their colors, the intricacy of their different forms and petal configurations, the subtle smell of them, the softness of their petals.

He has a tattoo of a rose on his neck for his brother (although, again, he will not say it is for his brother), and over time will get more tattoos of flowers that he associates with different people in his life.

No. Nilaufein was the bard in his family, and he tried to get Dalamus to try, but Dalamus was focused on his studies and starting his training for gemcutting. Dalamus is more of a visual creative, anyway. Music might be a bit too abstract for him to pick up on quickly.

Nilaufein was given an ocarina by a friend, a frequent traveler to Menzoberranzan, a bard. The man was an adventurer who traveled all around, using money from his musical performances to support that.

Alas, repeated traveling through the Underdark over the years gave him a persistent and chronic cough, and made playing his ocarina difficult. But he wanted to give it to someone who would put it to good use and give it a good home. In the meantime, the traveler was going to settle down with a family on the Surface.

Nilaufein gladly accepted the ocarina, and it became his first instrument. Largely self-taught, he started playing to the Lizards. The Gnolls which guard Vhurn Bhaelyndryn's Bestiary where he worked also enjoyed listening--once he got more skilled, that is.

When he saves up enough money, Nilaufein buys a flute--or, as Dalamus would say, the preferred instrument of torture he wields against his younger brother.

Dalamus is a bit prone to respiratory ailments.

When he was younger, whenever the Underdark had a particularly plentiful spore count, he would struggle with fungal pneumonia. Though his parents would quarantine him and leave him to his fate, his brother, Nilaufein, would keep a secret stock of medicine just for these cases. This is part of the reason he got Dalamus into tea--it was an easy method of getting him to take medicine without being obvious, as well as the tea itself helping to soothe the throat and clear sinuses with steam.

As Dalamus got older, the fungal infections became fewer and further between, but he still catches colds and flues easily.

While he does not technically have pollen allergies, he is unused to pollen, so adjusting to the Surface allergens in place of fungal spores has been, at times, unpleasant.

▼ - childhood headcanon

When Dalamus was a young boy, Nilaufein would tell him stories about the Surface. Nil often traded for things like books and art of the Surface, to learn more about it. He tried to instill this wonder in Dalamus, but it just never really stuck in Dalamus' mind as a real place they could visit someday. Maybe it sounded too fantastical? Too good to be true? Too far away? Perhaps it was just Not Home. And he had no doubt heard negative things about it, too.

He enjoyed the stories, though! He was still a boy with an imagination, and spending time with his brother Nil was when he felt safest.

∇ - old age/aging headcanon

Dalamus ages gracefully, like many elves, only beginning to show signs of age at around 600 years old. He does live to old age for a drow, despite the early stressors on his life and injuries sustained.

For as long as able, he keeps his posture correct to lessen strain on his back, using his cane more and more as the years go by. Since much of his job involves sitting, he eats well and remains physically active outside of it to keep his body limber, muscles moving, and heart strong. Unsurprisingly, as a stubborn drow, family members will have to navigate his pride if they want him to sit down and let them take care of things he cannot do himself anymore. He continues making jewelry for as long as his hands and eyes will function well enough to allow it.

He lets his hair grow out long, and trims it regularly to keep it healthy. The silver streaks that begin to crop up after a few centuries serve to make him look even more distinguished. Often, hairstyles involving braids are used to keep his hair out of the way, but still presentable. Sometimes his loved ones help, especially when his flexibility begins waning.

He lives to see multiple generations of his and other loved ones' families grow up, and becomes surrounded with love and support in a way he never could have imagined had he not been exiled from Menzoberranzan.

♥ - family headcanon

Living to such an old age means extended families get big. Dalamus, himself, has Zektyrr, and will have two children with Gloria. And he will have more children with future significant others, as well, be they biological or adopted, depending on the partner. And many of the children will probably have families of their own.

He also remains close to several of the companions after the events of BG3. Astarion becomes practically family for how well he and Dalamus (eventually) get along, able to remain in contact for centuries. He grows to highly respect Wyll and keeps in contact with him, and trusts him on subjects such as culture and etiquette and manners. Dalamus and Gloria visit Halsin and the children he cares for--Halsin is even the one who informs Gloria of her first pregnancy during one visit. Karlach is always interested in new stories or experiences, and helps Dal remain curious about the world.