#nihtfrowan

        “I must admit, you look pretty well for such a fall,” he remarked with a raise of his brow. “You must have someone up there who really likes you.”

“Mother?” Caterina shifted uncomfortably on her chair. She had wrestled with herself, wether to discuss the topic with Simonetta or not. But who else could she trust? “Do you know of certain herbs that can help a woman ... get rid of an unwanted child?” 

EVERYTHING  HURTS.   she  does  not  know  how  else  to  describe  it.   it  feels  like  a  dagger  being  twisted  in  her  heart  each  time  she  does  so  much  as  cast  her  gaze  outside  the  window   ---   imagining  that  from  here  she  can  see  the  wall   ,   see  the  mortal  lands  she  would  risk  everything  just  to  return  to.   it  feels  so  stupid   ,   knowing  she  is  not  wanted  there  anymore   ;   knowing  there  is  nothing  left  for  her  on  the  other  side  of  the  wall  but  still  wanting  to  go  back  home.   she  turns  her  head  at  the  sound  of  her  sister’s  voice   ,   mustering  the  best  smile  she  can   ...   a  grimace.   “   is  obsessing  supposed  to  hurt  so  much?   ”

hey if people are okay with the fact that.... i’m barely into s4 and haven’t moved from there in like....... 6months at best......and thus barely know/understand like.... half the cast then like yeah sure.... i’ll ride again as the childe....... 

it was clear which side of that debate feyre was on .     nesta did not turn her face toward her youngest sister as she spoke ,   silver-blue eyes tracing the brightening sky .    “ IS THAT WORKING FOR YOU ? ”     words followed immediately by an internal grimace ,   a spark of regret .     nesta’s not sure if she remembers how to be kind .     it never made anything easier ,   so she buried it      ( like everything else too complex to unravel ) .     SHE TRIES AGAIN .     “ why now ? ”     not inviting by any means ,   but there’s a fraction less bite in her tone .     it’s feyre’s choice whether or not she wants to engage with that .

nesta’s hands are bundled in the periwinkle cloth of her new cloak ,   the color of defeat and secrecy .     money earned by selling a promise ring that proved nothing except for the FALSEHOOD OF MEN .     feyre doesn’t need to speak for nesta to feel her eyes on the cloak ,   her disapproval scenting the air almost as strongly as the meat she’d brought home .     elain has prepared it in her way ,   is now hovering over it like a bumblebee dancing around a rose .     elain is out of earshot when nesta whispers ,     “ no one asked you to do this , ”   so softly that ,   if feyre hadn’t grown up in the same home ,   she wouldn’t have known she was being addressed at all .     nesta does not meet feyre’s eyes ,   but she lifts her gaze to their sister ,   humming some shanty she picked up in the village .     nesta folds her hands over each other in her lap .     there’s no ring on her hand ,   not anymore .     “ WE CAN FIND OTHER WAYS . ”