#nightmare serum

Thank you! I have very special nightmare for him >:)

Tw/cw: unreliable narrator (under the nightmare serum), gaslighting, pet whump, feeling of abandonment, unreality (let me know if I missed anything)

Juli realized he was lying on the hard floor. 

That alone didn’t worry him, as he was used to sleeping in worse circumstances. He was however surprised, as he thought he fell asleep on his own bed.

Second thing, was his room always this bright?

It took him a second to connect dots and realize he was in the Training Facility.  He jumped on his feet and started investigating the place. 

It couldn’t be…?

Did Miss return him? He couldn’t remember.

Juli felt as his breath became raspy and he became dizzy as the room started spinning around him. 

Calm down, maybe, maybe she just wanted to fix a few things, maybe she didn’t give him up permanently? - he tried to convince himself, feeling that if he accepts the other possibility his heart will shatter in a million pieces. That he was truly given up, just when he started to hope he found his place. 

Doors opened, disrupting his thoughts. The Trainer came in and he automatically shifted into a kneeling position. 

“Welcome 739, I hope few days in solidarity served you well”

“Yes sir.” he answered on autopilot, but his mind was buzzling. Was he there for a few days already? Why couldn’t he remember? He never had a problem with forgetting things. 

“Sir, may I ask a question?” he couldn’t stop himself.  He had to know if this… if his hope was false, even if he was about to experience a heartbreak, he had to know. 

Trainer sighted. 

“What is this?”

“Did Miss give me up? I’m sorry, I… my memory is all foggy”

“Huh? ‘Miss’?” Trainer asked with a surprise in his voice. 

Something was wrong. 

Something was very wrong. 

“Yes, Miss… Miss Decima. Did she return me?” 

Maybe it was just an accident. Maybe he got lost and someone who found him got him there and they will contact her and she will take him home again… 

Please, please he wanted home. 

Trainer sat on the floor.

“Miss Decima, how you call her, tell me more about her” 

So Juli did. He told everything he could remember.

__________

“So that Miss of yours, she got you even if she knew what you did and she was nice to you, fed you often and never punished you? Like never?”

“...yes, sir.” Juli answered truthfully. He didn’t like this voice. He didn’t like where this was going. 

“And she gave you blankets to sleep on and took you on walks and so on?”

“Yes, sir”

Trainer sighted again

“I’m sorry I have to tell you, but… Well, maybe it’s because you were in isolation for too long…”

What was that supposed to mean?

“... but you were never bought. There is no Miss. You must have tell yourself elaborate story to pass the time and you believed it”

“No…”

It couldn’t be. Miss… she couldn’t be just made up. 

“Well it wouldn’t be the first time, would it? When you made something up and ended up thinking it was real?”

Juli… no he wasn’t Juli anymore then? He never was. 

739 nodded slowly. 

The life outside white walls, but not with the first Master, before that and before training. He had constructed an imaginary life that even now seemed as real as his other memories. And…

“...your first Master. The circumstances of his mur… of the Incident” Trainer said. 

Of course. 

He knew how unreliable his memories were. but he had never thought this too…

Miss was always nice and never punished him and gave him a warm place to sleep. 

How could she not be a wish, the perfect dream?

“I will ask guys at management to not leave you alone for so long.” Trainer said with compassion. 

“Yes, sir,” 739 said. 

And then he cried, letting his body to be torn apart by despair

_________

I will put taglist on this