#night27

Today has been pretty good. It was a college taster day. Some lessons were okay but there was some pretty cute girls there too. I need some new people in my life, just to get me away from old ones. So that I can go away and refresh myself to come back peacefully and differently. I’d love to show myself as someone o want to be in order to convince myself that I am that person so that I can change my self, my mindset, my attitude, ready to return to Emily and anyone else who I’ve not been right with.

I think it’s crazy how we can feel the same at 2 years of age as we do at 15. A 2 year old can feel neglect just as a 15 year old can. A 15 year old can feel unwanted just as a 2 year old can. You’re never to young or too old to feel a certain way. A 2 year old can feel love for someone (i.e. Their mum) similar as to how a 15 year old can feel love for someone (again, could be there mum or someone who influences them, someone who makes them happy, just as a mum makes a 2 year old happy). It’s all crazy to me.

It’s Emily’s prom tomorrow and she said she’ll definitely message me on that day. I’m not sure what about, she might just send me pictures of her in her outfit (which I cannot wait to see because she’s going to look outstandingly gorgeous). I wanted to go and see her but we’re not exactly on the best terms at the moment which I do not like…

My parents are spending the night away with my brother as they’re visiting a Uni. It’s one of the best Uni’s in the country and it annoys me because my mum will expect me to go there too if he gets accepted. She says she doesn’t expect me to follow his footsteps but I know she does really. She doesn’t trust me either which doesn’t motivate me to try and make her trust me. Since she’s gone, I’m my own man, I make decisions for myself and she still tries to catch me off guard while I’m on my Xbox ‘late’ to prove that I shouldn’t be trusted.

Tonight has been random.